#fmdos4

After seeing the live performances, if you could vote, which duet would you vote for and which solo song would you vote for? Why?

Sunghee made the conscious choice of not being too biased for Jaewon this time around. If only because they didn’t want anyone to say they weren’t really paying attention on the other stages, which wasn’t true. “I think I would probably vote for Heart Stop? I wasn’t expecting to enjoy it as much as I did, really, but I think they did a really good job. As for the solo song… I think still Jasmine. I can’t help but be a fan of everything Jaewon hyung does!” Well. They tried.

If any of the competitors were to write a song for you or your group, who would you choose? Why?

They smiled. “Well, Jaewon already does,” Sunghee tapped their fingers against their already bouncy leg. “Just kidding! I think maybe Taeyong hyung? I really like his songs and I think he’d be able to write something that would really fit for Unity’s song. I hope he gets the chance to write something for a group because he’s really skilled at it.”

Would you ever want to compete in a competition show? If so, what kind?

Do you know any of the competitors personally? If so, how do you feel they’ve done as a contestant on the show?

Sunghee inclines their head at the question. “Should I say I know none of them?” They laugh. “Of course I know Jaewon hyung. I think he’s done really great. I’ve gotten to write a lot of songs with hyung in the past and I know how hard he works on everything he sets his mind to. I’ve been really impressed with his work so far and I know if he had more rounds he’d show even better work.”

From the songs uploaded onto streaming sites (both duets and solos), which one fits your personal taste the best? Why?

“I hate coming across as biased but it’s definitely just my personal taste to say it’s Jasmine. I’ve always spoken about how much I like rap and r&b, and I think Jaewon hyung did a really good job with this track.”

From the music videos for the solo songs, which one did you like the best? Why?

“I’d have to say Taeyong hyung’s. I think all of them are good in their own way, but I enjoyed his music video the most. I thought it had a very cool aesthetic to it, even if it was pretty simple.”

What do you think is important to show in a final performance, whether it be in a concert, at a festival, or on a competition show?

“Energy? I think a lot of mistakes in a performance can be forgiven if only you put in the right level of energy to get people hooked on it. Well, I know it entertains me at least.”

Do you have any words of advice for performing a stage with high stakes?

filming the jasmine music video comes as a breath of fresh air.

of course, jaewon has filmed music videos before but none of them have ever been this… calm. it’s suitable of course, jasmine is a chill-hop song with a slow drawl to it, nothing like the quick-paced, highly electronic music unity usually puts out but just because it’s a given doesn’t mean it’s not nice.

there is no choreography either. again, hardly surprising but still nice. jaewon liked dancing, would not have spent as much time doing it if he didn't, but what he didn’t like was running through choreographies for hours on end under harsh set lighting.

the closest experience he can recall to ever shooting a music video like this is yestoday probably. that definitely bolsters his enthusiasm for the music video shoot even more. yestoday had been one of jaewon’s favorite projects within unity, one of the songs he was proudest to have written on. jasmine found itself in good company already.

still, even if yestoday had been relatively calm, it had been nothing like this. the instructions jaewon got were simple. the music video entailed nothing outrageous or over the top, just beautiful nature shots, walking around, staring off into the skyline. jaewon was no star actor (even if dimensions seemed to think otherwise with how they kept shoving him into acting roles but whatever) even he could pull this off. 

truly, the most demanding scenes consisted out of simply lip sync along to the song. which should be a proper attest of just how simple the whole process was. not that jaewon was complaining. in his opinion, the song didn’t need much more. 

truly, jaewon was the first to advocate that the less there was of him in the mv, the better. 

but really, self-deprecation aside, as he watched the footage between takes, jaewon could already feel a deep-seated sense of contentment. the videography was absolutely stunning, capturing the prettiest aspects of the scenery in a way jaewon had assumed would be lost had you not been there. 

the video shoot might not have been elaborate or fancy, but it didn’t need to be. even just seeing the unedited footage jaewon could tell it would be good.

almost, truly almost, would he call the experience therapeutic. not entirely of course, at the end of the day, it remains work, the lenses of the heavy, incredibly expensive camera’s burning holes in his back. but compared to the usual workload it’s a walk in the park and sometimes, it truly is the small victories that count.

so, when after a long day of filming, the sun having set right after they had wrapped up filming the last scene, jaewon finds himself looking out over the valley that made up their last filming location of the day and feels like he can confidently say that today was a good day. 

the idea for nowhere is one he’s had ever since working on his album. writing song after song on his own about love and heartbreak had opened a rift of understanding in him that the face of the hopeless romanticism he’d once held so close had changed. he’d explored the topic a little on the album, but the epiphany had come so late in the process and had too quickly become mixed the negative feelings of his own heartbreak that he been compelled to bleed out onto the page under the guise of self-inflicted therapy instead.

there’s only been about a month’s distance from writing the final songs of his album when ash sits down to write his final song for the show, but there’s a new calm and self-awareness now that had been the opposite at the same time the month before. he’d had too much time to sit at home and think and with the release of his album now behind him and the success he’s watched it begin to achieve on the charts, he has fewer worries on his mind. the end of the year is approaching at a rate ash can’t fully comprehend — it feels like only last week that he’d released come over, his first single of the year and the start of a long and arduous creative and emotional journey — and bc doesn’t seem to have any plans for him to drop anything else until the new year, so this is his last chance to make a final statement.

fall is a nice final chapter and bittersweet is the author’s note, but he needs to release an epilogue, separate from the novel as a symbol of his own readiness to move on as the calendar changes over from one year to a new one.

“nowhere” is that epilogue. the lyrics come to him almost entirely in one night, with a loose melody to accompany them, and from there, the song is easy enough to shape into something worthy of commercial release. come over had been shallow waters in comparison to the depths he’d gradually ventured into as the year progressed, but nowhere is everything he says with his head underwater, unsure if he wants anyone to hear what he’s saying at all.

it’s not admitting defeat, but it’s not a declaration of perseverance either. it just is.

at one point in his journey as a songwriter, ash had begun to think each song had to tell a narrative or have a message, but this song is constructed merely as a diary entry turned outward. this is me.

because, really, that’s why he’d started writing in the first place: to know himself.