seoul, south korea // june 2010

changki steps off the stage, the feeling of winning his latest battle coursing through his veins. his friends waited for him off stage, greeting him with praises. changki laughs, as his friends diss his opponent. their small celebration is cut short when one of the older rappers appears next to changki.

“there’s someone looking for you,” they tell changki. they point over to the bar, where a woman stands scrolling through her phone. changki has never seen her before, he furrowed his eyebrows together in confusion. “who?” he asks, everyone that changki knew was with him. the elder gives him a shrug, “they wanted to talk to you. that’s all i was told.” changki nods and makes his way towards the woman at the bar.  

the woman looks up right as changki is approaching her. she smiles, “i’m with bc entertainment. your name is yoo changki, right?” the older woman asks him as she holds out her hand. she has to yell slightly over the music of the club. changki shakes her hand warily and nods, “yeah that’s me.” why would someone from an entertainment company be here, out of all places?

“we’re currently scouting for new trainees,” she says answering changki’s unvoiced question. “this place is a breeding ground for talent. talent such as yourself.”

she smiles, “you have potential.. potential to a be an idol. i’m here to offer you an audition. you could do great things with us.” changki lets out a laugh, “don’t you just pick the one guy who can’t sing well as your rapper? why me?” the woman looks taken back at changki’s remark, but she smiles again, “not usually, but we need raw talent. from what i saw on stage tonight, you’re a natural. we want that. give me call within the week, if you don’t, i’m assuming you don’t want an audition.” she holds out a business card, changki takes it into his hand and examines it. before changki can say anything else, she’s gone.

-

changki thought that exchange was a weird hallucination, but the small card served to remind him that it really happened.

changki spends the next few days weighing his options. changki walks to one of his favorite spots in the nearby park. he finds an empty bench and twirls the business card in his hands. the underground was all that changki knew. it was his home. despite the fact that he was basically a homeless teenager, he was happy. his living situation wasn’t ideal and he hated sleeping on empty stomach, but he had found his own inner circle of people he trusted.  if he were to become a trainee, he would have to leave for god knows how long. even if he did manage to debut, would the underground still take him back? would his friends still look at him the same? he’s heard some rappers, his hyungs, insult those who go mainstream.

changki wanted to make it big, be a famous artist. live in luxury, not having to worry about if he was going to make it through the night. that’s what he dreamed of, and this could be his step towards it. changki saw how artists in the underground struggled to find success. rarely did someone managed to become famous on their own. after a few years, some rappers would give up on their music and succumb to the drugs or alcohol to heal themselves.

“you deserve better than this, ki.”

changki can hear daewon’s voice in his head. changki looks up to the sky above him. he sighs and can feel his eyes fill with tears, “i need help hyung. what should i do?” he asks into the empty air.

changki imagined daewon would push him to audition.

if he managed to make it, if he debuted and became successful, he could have the resources to solve daewon’s murder. a small part of him reminds him that even if he did make it, it would take years for him to get to that point, even then changki couldn’t guarantee his fame. 

but he would do anything to know who took his brother away from him. if there was anything he wanted more from life, it was this. he wanted daewon’s death to be solved, to give himself and brother peace. his parents had given on up on daewon, but changki wouldn’t.

“i’ll make you proud, hyung.” changki whispers to the sky.

-

once he’s back at the club, he uses the phone to call the number on the card. his hands shake as he presses each number. he brings the phone to his ear and waits as it rings. changki almost talks himself out of it, but a voice finally answers.

“thank you for calling bc entertainment, how i can help you?” the female voice says with cheerful tone. changki realizes it’s the woman who spoke with him the other day. changki can’t bring himself to speak for a moment, but he gathers himself and takes a deep breath.

“my name is, uh, yoo changki,” he says nervously. before he can continue the woman on cuts him off, “ah, changki. thank you for calling me back.” she waste no time in waiting for his response and continues, “let’s get you scheduled for an audition. i have an opening on june twenty-second around two p.m, how does that sound?”

changki laughs, he would have to audition on his birthday.

Music was his outlet for years at this point; constantly suffering from paranoia and the thing that would haunt his dreams at night. He had gotten pretty good at guitar, music in general really. He could learn just about any sing upon the guitar, strum it’s notes, and sing along to the song. It was all thanks for the lessons that he began to receive after his aunt and uncle had seen his interest in it; pushing him to pursue the dream that the young boy had. He’d spend hours practicing his craft. At odd hours of the night when he just couldn’t sleep, he’d be singing Celine Dion at the top of his lungs (sorry Uncle Minho and Aunt Taekjo.)  It was how it always seemed to be for him; he was born to do music, right?

He didn’t always live in Seoul; Duri originally came from the neighboring city of Incheon. But, after the passing of his parents; his uncle, Minho (his father’s brother) and his aunt (Taekjo) had taken Duri in. Growing up in Hongdae in the city of Seoul was like how everyone else had grown up. Except, Hongdae was a bit more “trendier” than some other parts of the city were. Which meant his uncle and aunt had seemingly followed some newer trends, especially those from overseas due to the students that had lingered around. Since 2002, they began holding open mic nights in their café, which Duri used as a way to express himself. Honestly, he had a lot of fun, and was showing off the skills that he had been learning. Soft whispers from those in the café to each other about the talented boy lingered the air.

FEBURARY 2004.

This certain, cold day, in February was just like any other day. It was another Friday, and another day where Duri was going to step up on the designated area where they would hold the open mic nights in the café. There was nothing out of the ordinary about such a thing. He gripped upon his guitar as his aunt had called out his name into the microphone after reading off the list of sign-ups, Duri was always sure to write his name down, even though they had told him it really was something that wasn’t needed. Duri was just the type to follow the rules like everyone else had, no special treatment what so ever. Fingertips grip onto his beloved guitar, before he’d make his way up. He sits down on the chair, letting the guitar rest upon his lap, eyes looking out upon the crowd. His fingertips began strumming the notes to Waterfalls by TLC, one of his favorite western songs.

There was still nothing different, people were whispering to one another about the voice that boomed off the young boy; someone sat by themselves with a cup of coffee, the softest smile upon their lips. Duri felt like he’s seen this person a few times. Though, he let it slip pass his mind as nothing but familiarity. He had finished the song, a big smile on his face, giving bows at the round of applause. It was nothing short of Duri to be rather flustered at the compliments of others. He took his guitar, leaving the area, to go back to his table, where he was approached by the person who had been watching him so closely. She had stated her name, telling him exactly why she was there. She even told him that he had been being watched for weeks now, before they had finally decided to approach him because they were so memorized by the voice the young boy carried. She was a scout from the agency of some of his favorite artists, BC Entertainment. He could feel the flustered feeling set in again, very quick to accept the scouting from her due to his family pushing him to chase that dream. A private audition was set up for the very next day.

THE NEXT DAY.

There was no sleep the whole night prior. How could he sleep? It wasn’t that he was haunted by the car accident in his dreams that night; it was simply because of the excitement and the nervousness that had overtaken him for the audition that he was to have on that day. He spent most of the night practicing, strumming the notes of the song he would audition with upon the guitar, and singing the lyrics that went along with it. It wasn’t like Minho or Taekjo were sleeping either, they felt the exact same way that Duri did; they were happy and excited for him, he was going to do something that he constantly talked about. Hopefully, this was really happening, hopefully he’d make it.

Sunlight rose above the city skyline, bringing onto another day. Duri liked to think it was his parents watching over him that day, making sure everything would go a-okay. The sun shining so brightly didn’t help the temperature, though; there was still the bitter cold of winter that had made Duri bundle up to fight against Jack Frost doing everything he could to make it freezing. But, that was fine, it had made his nerves seemingly freeze right up. Himself and his uncle, Minho, had decided to make the trek to BC Entertainment for his audition, leaving Taekjo behind to look over the café. It was simple, really, they just had to take a train and bus to get to Gangnam, and a little bit of a walk. It took a good amount of time, but they were still early for the audition; which is what Duri wanted. That would probably leave a good impression, right? He really could only hope so.

Brown eyes sparkled and were amazed by the way the building was; prim proper, done up to a t, and proudly showed off their artists on the inside. It was a bit bigger than excepted, but it was still nice to see. Nonetheless, he’s led to where his audition would be held, sitting down outside the room with his guitar sitting next to him. “Are you nervous?” Minho asked, words soft. Duri nodded his head softly, “a little bit,” he says, his words just as soft. “Don’t worry about it, they’re going to love you. I guarantee you’ll be walking out of there as a trainee for them. Mom and dad are watching you, they have your back,” he stated; all Duri did was softly smile through his nerves, feeling a bit flustered.

WHEN YOU AUDITIONED FOR YOUR COMPANY, WHAT WAS THAT LIKE?

        ❝ auditioning for bc entertainment was sincerely something that i NEVER, EVER thought that i’d do. before becoming an idol, my biggest dream was to become a stage musical actress both in korea, but also in the united states. growing up, i starred in a variety of community theatre productions all around los angeles, and it honestly became my first love. being able to stand up on — stage and act, or sing, to a crowd full of people is a high that’s completely incomparable to me. so, i attended SOPA to strengthen my skills. while there, my best friend at the time —— who i’m still close with now —— decided she wanted to try and become an idol, but didn’t want to attend the open call that bce announced by herself. not wanting her to give up on her dream, i decided to go along with her. i remember not really being nervous since i had already made up my mind that i wasn’t going to be given any sort of training opportunity, so my attitude about it all was quite relaxed, and admittedly, a bit PESSIMISTIC, too. we waited for hours and hours, and i spent most of the time calming her nerves, but once my name was called, i entered that room to introduce myself, and bravely started to perform my favorite song at the time GOOD DAY by LYRA — sunbaenim. i knew it frontwards and backwards, and not to brag, but i remember seeing the look on all of the panel members’ faces when i hit the three belted semitones at the end of song with great pitch and technique. from that point on, i went to whatever callback they told me to go to, and was later asked to train with their company. i remember being in such disbelief, and though my friend didn’t make it, she was thrilled for me. that moment changed my life for the better, and i’m still so GRATEFUL that bc saw something in me. ❞

HOW LONG WERE YOU A TRAINEE?

        ❝ i trained with bc entertainment for approxiamately two years, i believe. those were some of the greatest times in my life, and i made so many friends. whenever you’re working hard to achieve a goal together, yes, it’s a bit competitive, but for the most part, everyone is willing to help one another. having GOOD SPORTSMANSHIP while shooting for the stars is incredibly important. as each month goes by, you’re given an evaluation to see if you’re improving. what’s a bit scary is that, whenever the company feels like you haven’t showed as much potential as they saw during your audition, they sometimes will ask you to leave. i’ve witnessed so many people come and go from bc, but none of them were too upset. after all, they had learned so many new skills during their time there, so each valuable lesson taught to them was taken to heart. so, if you’re wanting to become an idol like all of us, HARD WORK IS CRUCIAL to your success. although it gets really tiring since you’re mixing training with work, school, and whatever else, you must try your hardest at every single turn because companies will know when you’re slacking, or when you haven’t been focused. if you believe in yourself enough, though, you’ll conquer the world and achieve all of your goals. ❞

WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT SCHEDULE LIKE?

        ❝ my current schedule with WISH has been non — stop since our début, but i don’t think any of us mind the heavy workload that’s put on our shoulders. our supporters want to continue seeing more of us, and i know for a fact that we’ll continue to work hard in order to release more albums, more singles, and host more fan — meets. we want to be a girl group that’s remembered for decades and decades, so creating as much music as possible and traveling all over the world only helps us impact our audiences. i’ve been able to meet so many new people, and see so many places that i wouldn’t trade this experience for anything else the world. being able to perform a show in one city, then travel to the next is so, so MAGICAL. it’s almost as if you could teleport from place — to — place while you sleep. i think all of the training also helps you adjust to all of the hours you put into a day of work, so when you start promoting, you already know what it’s going to entail to a degree, so getting into that mode is pretty simple, if you ask me. ❞

WHAT DOES YOUR AVERAGE DAY LOOK LIKE WHEN YOU’RE PROMOTING OR PREPARING FOR A RELEASE?

        ❝ whenever we’re preparing to release another album or title track, there’s a lot of late nights in rehearsals readying our choreography for comeback stages. repetition is the best way to memorize dance moves, so we do it OVER & OVER again until we get it perfect a few times in a row. we record all of our attempts, too, then watch them back frame by frame to see if we messed anything up. we also have a lot of vocal lessons to make sure we’re prepared to sing live, so we also practice dancing and singing at the same time. then, for a promotion cycle, it’s a lot of early mornings to head into soundcheck at whatever venue you’re performing at, or heading into HAIR & MAKEUP to look your best for fan signings. sleep doesn’t come easy since you have to wake so early, then you’re out fairly late, but you’re so filled with adrenaline that you hardly notice how many hours of rest you lack. remembering to eat really well, and take naps as often as possible is important during this time. after all, you wouldn’t want to get sick and risk passing on illness to your members. an average day of either of those lasts around 18 HOURS, i’d estimate, and it’s quite long, yes, but whenever you get to see your supporters clapping for you, it’s all worth it. ❞

TALK ABOUT YOUR EXPERIENCE DURING THE CAMPING TRIP.

"mom, what does it say?” ash’s voice broke through the previous silence as he bounced on his toes, a mix of excitement and anxiety making him unable to stay still.

“it says your mom will only tell you what it says if you keep your feet planted firmly on the ground.” ash immediately stalled the bouncing of his feet, instead moving the motion to his knees. his mom laughed her twinkling laugh, but didn’t tell him to stop. “come over here and read it yourself.”

ash’s feet led him over the computer his mom sat in front of and his eyes scanned the email in front of him. there was a lot of mandatory politeness, but his eyes fell to the middle of the page and a wide, toothy smile broke his face. we would be interested in offering ashton kwon a contract to enter idol training under bc entertainment.

“i got in! whoa... they want to offer me a contract...” ash had had no clue what he’d been signing up for when he’d showed up to bc’s audition after pleading with his parents to let him go, but he was realizing that he certainly hadn’t expected to pass as the winner of the audition.

“they want you to fly out to seoul and start training as soon as possible, ashton.” they’d talked about this ever since ash had gotten his parents to agree to let him audition. as supportive of his mom and dad were of his dream, they couldn’t just quit their jobs and move to south korea for him to train. they’d questioned it at the audition and they’d been told it was normal for international trainees to move to seoul and live in the trainee dorms while their parents stayed back home. they’d been assured that if he was chosen, he wouldn’t be the only one and bc would take care of him as long as he had the independence and drive required of a bc entertainment trainee.

he hadn’t given his parents an answer on if he was ready to do it yet, though, and the look in his mom’s eyes was silently asking the question already on his mind. he may have only skimmed the email for what mattered most to him, but his mom had insisted on reading the whole thing before he could see it. that meant it was serious and she was, in her silent way, okaying everything. she and his dad must have already decided what they would say if he was given the chance. it’d been all he could talk about to them since he auditioned, and he wasn’t surprised they were willing to support him if it’s what he really wanted. they’d always been behind him, and that’s what made the thought of being without them so scary. but this was a chance to have a real career dancing and performing and making music and making people happy. that was what he knew he was born to do. they knew it too.

“if this is what you want, we’ve told you we’ll support you, ashton. i don’t want to see you go, but we can’t hold you back because of that. we want you to spread your wings like you were born to do. you’ll need to finish the school year with good grades first and we’re not letting you go there without studying korean in the time you have, but i’ve seen how much you want this. your dad and i want to see you make your own choices. you’re thirteen, and we believe this is something you can decide on your own. this is a big decision to make, and i know you’ve been thinking about it. you don’t need to choose now, but know that we’ll support whatever choice you make.” as his mom spoke, ash was only reassured of the choice he’d already made as soon as he’d stepped out of the audition room, skin buzzing with adrenaline at the thought of making a life out of music.

dohee had done this before. not this exactly, but since she’d moved to seoul, auditions and job interviews had become her life. she had no other choice, with very little parental support and the need for some kind of sustainable income in a city as expensive as seoul. it’d been upon her exit from an audition from some televised singing competition show that she mysteriously never heard about again that the man had come up to her and struck up a conversation. raised to be far too polite to walk away, the conversation had turned out in her benefit when the man had eventually introduced himself as a casting scout for dimensions entertainment. she hadn’t heard of the company before, but then again, she hadn’t heard of most of the companies she’d attended auditions for. the strongholds of the entertainment industry weren’t the kinds of things the only lee daughter was drilled on in her youth. bible verses and the standards of a polite and pure young lady were much more important.

entering the audition room in her jewel-toned dress, it didn’t feel any different from any audition room she’d walked into before. if anything, the only difference was her. with each passing day, she became more and more desperate for a sign she hadn’t made a mistake leaving her family behind for something as silly and unreliable as a passion. she’d realized long ago that she and her mother were the only two in her family shackled in opposition to passion, but she’d seen the monsters her father and brother had become by feeding on desire. would this make her just as foul as they were?

she wasn’t the only one waiting. her looks hadn’t been enough to get her a private audition—if her legs were a little longer or her waist a little smaller, would they have been more impressed?—so here she sat in, yes, a closed audition, but one with a group of other girls who had been scouted for one reason or another. some of them she could tell had been street casted the same way she had. the girl sitting across the room from her was the kind of beauty that didn’t seem like she needed to waste her time auditioning to be an idol when any top modeling agency would look at her long legs and slight curves and pretty eyes and fall in an instant. dohee’s eyes lingered too long and the other girl looked up to meet her gaze, which dohee quickly redirected to her lap.

dohee was saved from the study of the girl’s eyes when the door opened and a small group exited the audition room. all were stony-faced, betraying nothing of how well they had performed in the room. it might be intimidating to some, but the lack of emotion was more comforting to dohee than anything else. this, this hadn’t changed. the only difference was that the protective masks of indifference belonged to her competitors for a future, not her mother when dohee’s father’s hand lingered too long on the body of another woman, not dohee’s brother when he told her she just had to stay strong and pious and she would be rewarded only hours before he’d sneak out of the house to his secret world of booze and drugs and sex, not dohee’s father when he stood in front of the church and preached of righteousness and a pure soul while hiding away the dirtiest soul dohee had ever encountered.

why was it that the escape shared so many similarities to the original prison?

“kim hyelim, bae jisoo, jang ryujin, han boram, lee dohee.” dohee hadn’t noticed the woman at the end of the line who had come out with a clipboard of names, but now she was the only thing that held her attention, dohee’s previous thoughts quickly compartmentalized away. “please follow me, ladies.”