hello dearest, hereās some disorganized words for you, from that unfinished Dundrasil piece of Upon Waking, which will one day see the light:
The ruins of Dundrasil struck him harder than heād expected, somehow.
Rowan had walked a long way with the knowledge that heād been born somewhere other than Cobblestone, that someone other than the mother he knew had once called him son. In another life, heād have been raised a Prince. Heād roamed these lush green woods instead of towering mountains.
But it was not the life heād ended up with, so he put that burden - and an old, tattered and yellowed letter - away.
If it weighed heavier than any parchment ought to, well. He kept that to himself.
And while it might be true that heād lost sleep some nights counting the stars and wondering who he favored - the late King of Dundrasil or the Queen - Irwin and Eleanor were not names he knew, they werenāt Mum and Chalky. It was curiosity that leant to his dreams, heād told himself. Not a misplaced sense of loss for what heād never known to miss. His family had given him everything he needed.
So what was it then, that made his steps falter as they trudged away from the worst of the ruins? Why did his hands tremble, his palms sweat?
Rowan thought again of Rab, bowing low to press his forehead to the stone of a grave heād dug and marked on his own, and had to rub the heel of his hand against his chest to soothe the sharp ache there.Ā
No, Rowan thought, as he followed an old man to indulge him a little while longer, I donāt know these people.
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āI have translated a fanvid so good i donāt know what to put in the...ā
Your descent into Guardian madness is making me sooo intrigued. How can I watch it legally? (I'm like a 65 yo grandma when it comes to torrents and stuff)
I've fallen so fast I have ships for shows I haven't watched yet from fanvids *headdesk* asghsdkjfhsdkfjsdh
The Guardian starter kit
You can watch the entire thing on youtube legally. Here's a playlist, every ep is subtitled. Do download them in case they get taken down again (for whatever the PRC decide they don't approve of.)
The whole thing is based off of a novel, which I suggest reading along with the show. Here is @dtriad's masterlist of translated Guardian chapters / meta / etc.
But before you do any of that, read this and be warned, haha
yay, i'm so glad you like it wooooo one of us one of us one of us. I think my favorite part of the Dragon Quest games is just how disarming and charming the world is; you think it's all fun and games, cute slimes and silly puns and bright colors and then suddENLY HEARTBREAK HOW EVEN DARE YOU. FWIW I'd caution you not to read my fanfic too carefully, because there are definitely spoilers for Act 2 (and even Act 3 in spots) slipped in there, especially for Erik.
YOUāRE NOT EVEN KIDDING ABOUT THE HEARTBREAK TT-TT when i wrote my post eariler today i had just moved into act 2-- I had been a fish, and gotten Hendrik into my party. afrer I posted I spent the afternoon playing and oh my god flutie I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR ANY OF THE FEELS. like, the fall and being a fish and last bastion were rough (I ALMOST CRIED WHEN TALC CRIED) but this afternoon. holy shit this afternoon. sylvando continues to be amazing and perfect (he is legit my single most favorite character), BUT THEN WE FOUND ERIK SCAVENGING IN THE HOLD AND NOW MY HEART IS IN PIECES AND THE PIECES ARE CRYING, FLUTIE. HEāS SO SCARED AND SWEET and holy shitĀ does it put a heartwrenching twist in my headcanons for his and Talcās relationship ahhhhhhh i canāt wait to talk about it!! TT^TTĀ
right this moment iāve just finished saving Talcās dadās spirit and AGAIN WITH THE HEARTBREAK. its such a sweet story and i am suchĀ a sucker for the power of love trope. man i love this game.Ā
i donāt usually try to avoid spoilers too hard tbh, and iāve gotten some oblique ones scrolling through the tags and blogs for sure (insert more nervous laughter here). they donāt really bother me too much bc i enjoy theĀ āokay but HOW do we get to that pointā and sometimes its fun to solve that puzzle along the way even when iām not totally blind :D that said i enjoy it so much iāve been working harder to avoid spoilers lately lol
G. Where do you think you grew the most this year?
I wrote a fight scene. I described a very creepy Fallen Angel AND THEN I KILLED IT.
It was great.
U. Any stories that took a abrupt u-turn from where you thought they were going?
Not really?
I did make myself take several bit and bobs that Iād been clinging too really tightly as potential storiesĀ and let them go, which is the opposite of what Iād been planning but really made me better because I made myself focus on things I could develop and do something with.
what is the drabble hill? i must know, in case you need reinforcements
A DRABBLE IS 100 WORDS EXACTLY.Ā
(Some person tried to use linguistic drift to justify the way people apply it to things that are not 100 words and no. No. Words mean things. If a ravioli is also a sandwich whatās the fucking point of having the word sandwich?)
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Like five kisses ever? In the history of the whole universe?Ā
OKAY Iām gonna go TV kisses that I love because there have been a great many kisses across all media forms that Iāve flailed over so here are five of them plus GIFS
this is gonna be long probably and have spoilers for certain TV shows so, you know, hereās a cut
1) My current fave is Eliott and Lucasās first kiss from s3 of Skam France. The music, the rain, everything about it is beautiful and I die every time I watch it.Ā
I mean DAMNĀ
2) Jess & Nick from New Girl. Their first kiss is a holy hell of a first kiss.Ā āI meant something like that,ā just murder me instead okay.
3) Luke & Lorelai from Gilmore Girls because cāmon guys we waited forever for these two, did we not? And they go from screaming at each other to arguing to smooching in .2 seconds and thereās just something about it that makes me wanna eat a gallon of ice cream and sobĀ
4) Emma & Killian from Once Upon A Time because Iām still trash for Colin OāDonoghue -Ā
I mean goddamn my pirate husband can and does get itĀ
5) Jim & Pam from the Office because PB & J FIVE-EVER
honorable mention to bellarke because when these two assholes finally kiss Iām going to ascend to a higher plane of existence. Hopefully sometime before I dieĀ
oooooh meme time! How about, hmm, music? Or ice? Or both?
No music, shockingly enough, but here's ice from What Dreams May Come:
The glass orb felt like ice in his hand, nearly cold enough to burn. In that moment, Elora walked back into the room, took one look at him, and drew in a sharp breath. "Rowan, no!"
headcanon time: please share with us Erik's top three reactions to READING THOSE LETTERS AHHHHHHH
oh, damn.Ā
This is probably my favorite so far.
Ā Letās just call this chapter 17.5, yeah?
So Erik spends about an hour or more sitting as far across the room from the letters as he can. He wants to read them. He also kinda wants to throw them in the fire. They are poisonous snakes, and he doesnāt want to get bit, but he also wants to poke them with a stick.
So eventually, he works up the nerve to go fishing for the one with the earliest date. He reads it, and it breaks his heart almost from the get-go - just Rowanās solemn devotion hits something inside and it nearly makes him stop reading. It just reinforces his realization that no one has ever tried to hold onto him as hard as Rowan does - that even though Erik left, and Rowan didnāt really try to stop him, he never actually let him go at all. He also really wants to know what the hell Rowan crossed out in the first letter that starts with l-o
He gets progressively more and more mindblown. Thereās so many (Iām not sure how obvious I made it, but I intended for it to be somewhat apparent that Rowan writes far more letters than the ones in Bluebird. Those are just the important ones. Thereās probably like thirty that are just,Ā āate a sandwich today, thought of you, cried inside, love u bye miss you baeā or āthe sky is as blue as your hair, and itās my favorite color, hey are u coming back cuz thatād be swellā)
((The line about Gemma trying to kiss Rowan makes him want to rip the paper. He has to keep that instinct under wraps, as heād like to finish reading and make sure Rowanās not confessing his sudden swap to girls.))
Anyway. When he gets to the time travelĀ bomb drop, he has to set it down and stare at the wall for a while. Because, like. Thatās crazy, right? But somehow, it makes so much sense. Nothing could explain Rowanās weird ass behavior better, and Erik finds he likes the idea of time traveling far more than just the simple idea that Rowan was tired of him.
All the little hints of something more start to drive him crazy. All the little snaps ofĀ āIāll never be the same Rowan I was before I met youā and the āit felt a little like being unfaithful to the you I left behindā heās justā¦thinking thereās a cosmic joke going on, and he doesnāt know the punchline. Heād really like to know the punchline.Ā
When the night started, when Rowan put those letters in his hands, he didnāt honestly think heād stay up all night reading every single one. But he finds that once he starts, he absolutely cannot stop. The physical evidence of how much he matters to Rowan is addicting. Heās also totally thrown by howā¦heartfelt Rowanās writing is. This is a boy who listens more than he speaks, who never seemsĀ confident enough with the words he chooses, but when he writes? Erik thinks he might actually be poetic.
When he notices how, in every letter, Rowan makes a point to say where he is when heās writing it, his throat starts to burn a bit. His nose feels weird, with that odd, too hot feeling one gets when theyāre about to cry and they donāt want to. Rowan made sure that, in every letter he wrote, Erik would know exactly where to find him, if he read it, if he wanted to come back and something about that just...hurts.
As the letters go on, they get sadder, more and more hopeless. Erik doesnāt want to cry, he really fucking doesnāt, but when he gets to one of the letters from Angri-La, when Rowan writes about the dream he had of Erikās death, he starts to put more and more of the picture together, as insane a picture as it is. By this point, itās late as hell, his eyes are heavy, his mind is a messy jumble, but heās got to finish this. Heās got to know.Ā
The haikus make him laugh. One of those long, canāt breathe laughs that go on so long it starts to hurt a bit. I mean, the haikus are sad. Rowan talks about how Erik broke his heart, and he doesnāt love that, but just the mental image of Rowan, drunk and sloppy, sitting with a big, burly man from the Hotto and thinking it was a good idea to write him haikus of all things justā¦sets him off, and he canāt stop. It lightens the load the letters are putting on him, a bit.
He even smiles a bit through the letter about Dundrasil, about Rowan considering being a prince for real.
But then he gets toĀ āItās been about three hundred and four days since you left, you knowā and he stops smiling. He reads about the unbreakable red thread, and he doesnāt think heās told Rowan that story. He reads āyou and I, we share the same skyā and he starts crying. Iām talking sobbing, hiccuping and all. He finally gets to read what Rowan crossed out in the first letter. He reads I loved you so badly and his hands shake. He only reads it once, that night. He puts that one in his pocket and can feel the weight of it, however slight it is. Rowan loves him, at least some incarnation, and no one has ever loved him like that, loved him enough to count the stars in his name and to consider his love in return an honor.Ā
Itās just so much that he canāt quite bring himself to believe it. At least, not yet.
And then he remembers that Rowan says he traveled back in time, and he storms out of his room and goes to the next door down, and bangs on it until a sleepy boy opens up. And heās scared to death, butā¦for the first time in months, things are making more sense, and theyāre looking a little bit clearer, a little bit brighter.
((Thatās way more than three reactions, but. Here you go.))
