for muses who won’t get out of bed
mix of fluff, crack, and angst
possible triggers: depression
❝ rise and shine, sweetie! ❞
❝ come on! the sun is out! ❞
❝ don’t make me bring out the tickle monster! ❞
❝ come on, we have stuff to do today. ❞
❝ you are the laziest person i know. ❞
❝ if you aren’t up in the next thirty seconds i’m pouring ice water on your head. ❞
❝ what are you gonna do when you have to pee? ❞
❝ you slept through your alarm again. ❞
❝ come on, i’m already dressed! ❞
❝ no. i’m not coming back to bed. you’re getting up. ❞
❝ you already used all your sick days. ❞
❝ five... four... three... two... don’t make me get to one. ❞
❝ five more minutes. that’s it. ❞
❝ you said ‘five more minutes’ an hour ago. ❞
❝ are you feeling okay? ❞
❝ how long have you been laying there? ❞
❝ come on, [name]. it’s been over a day. ❞
❝ hey... can you hear me? ❞
❝ [name], come on. this isn’t funny. ❞
❝ if you don’t answer me, i’m calling someone. ❞
❝ it’s summer vacation! ❞
❝ please, please just leave me alone. ❞
❝ why can’t you just let me rot in peace?! ❞
❝ leave me alone to die. ❞
❝ why don’t you join me? ❞
❝ come on. come back to bed. ❞
❝ no. i told you i’m not going. ❞
❝ can you leave the room first? i’m literally naked. ❞
❝ i already called off work. ❞
[pour] to pour cold water on them
[feet] to tickle their feet
[horn] to scare them with an air horn
[breakfast] to bring them breakfast in bed
[curtain] to open the curtains, bringing light into the room
[shove] to shove them off the bed
[water] to put their hand in warm water while they’re asleep
[ankles] to grab them by their ankles and yank them out of bed
[sheets] to pull off their sheets/blanket