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3,1k words on struggling and feeling bad. I have loved writing this piece because I needed to share this with someone. The story I told in this imagine is basically what’s happening to me during these days and I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who has ever felt this way. the second part is my favourite because it is what I hope will happen in the future, once I’ll move to another city to study at university and once I’ll meet new people. To everyone else experiencing this kind of situation, know that there’s someone that for sure cares about you. I have learned to “smooth the sharp edges of my personality” and now I know that I am a good friend to those who look through the images I give of myself and those who truly appreciate me. You can always DM me, anyway. I’m here for anyone of you.
Please, enjoy and know that feedback is always appreciated. Love ya.
We were in Y/N’s hometown for a few days to celebrate her birthday and carnival. I was chatting with her mum, sitting in the kitchen with a blue mug in my hands filled with hot peach tea. Y/N’s favourite. I was damn worried: it was raining so hard outside and she was probably riding her scooter to come back home.
“She knows how to drive in the rain, Shawn, don’t worry. She went to school every day with her scooter for four years during high school. She’ll be soaked, but fine”  Laura told me.
“Yeah, sure. She’s a tough girl anyway. Can I just...I don’t know, prepare some blankets and warm clothes for her?”  I asked looking at the woman sitting in front of me
“Of course, you know where her room is. I’ll prepare some more tea” she stood up and poured some water into the glass teapot while I sipped all of the warm liquid from my cup. I washed it quickly and went to Y/N’s room to grab her favourite pair of sweatpants, clean underwear and a long sleeve blue shirt. I put them all on a radiator near the bathtub with a blue, soft blanket and my Crossfit black sweatshirt. While I waited for her, I sat on the couch with her dad and brother to watch some Italian football match.
I was chatting with Y/N’s brother when we heard the sound of the garage’s gate closing. I immediately went to the door and hold it open, cold air and rain smell hitting my face. As soon as I saw her climbing the stairs I knew something was off, but I thought it was just a mood due to being wet.
“Ehi, babygirl. I prepared some warm clothes for you” I said sweetly, relieved to know she was home safe. She lifted her face from the coat’s zip she was opening and I saw them. Puffy, red eyes and tear rolling down her red cheeks.
“Oh, love. I got you, come here, c’mon” I sighed, taking off her damp raincoat and helmet, lifting her up to take her to the bathroom. Her legs wrapped around my waist, tears running down my neck after she buried her face there. I closed the door behind me, starting to silently take off her cold jumper and jeans. Her sobs getting louder as soon as I took her face in my warm hands.
“ Y/N, baby, what’s up? Did you fall?” I whispered slowly, wiping her tears away with soft strokes of my thumbs on her damaged skin.
“What’s wrong with me?” She cried louder, her whole body shivering. I took off my t-shirt and jumper, putting them on her small body and holding her close to me. I knew she wasn’t going to shower unless she first spilt out what was upsetting her.
“Nothing’s wrong, honey. Would you like to tell me what’s going on?” I asked softly again, sitting on the bathroom floor with her on my lap. I wrapped her in the warm cover and loosed her hair from the messy bun she tied them in to keep them dry.
“You know I went to school to collect that certificate I need to put in my CV for the master” she said, tears stopped leaving her light blue eyes but small sobs were still coming from her throat. I nodded, bubbling a small “yea” and stroking her hair with my nails to try to relax her.
“When I was queuing I saw Lucie, my old classmate. I talked to you about her, do you remember?”
“The one that was a bitch to you who faked being your friend for years just to get rides and homework from you?” annoyance coming in my voice. She nodded again, sobs interrupting her story. I patiently waited for her to start again, but someone knocked on the door.
“ Y/N, what’s wrong?” her mum asked, “can I come in?”
“Yeah, mum” she murmured, sniffing up. Her mum sat down near me, taking the girl from my arms into hers. I watched silently.
“Before Shawn and I arrived, I texted all of my high school's friends to organize a dinner together since we were all in town and we hadn’t seen each other in years. I thought it would have been fun, stupid me”
“Baby, don’t-” I started
“I’ve been stupid. They all told me they couldn’t, being too busy with family, study and work. But as soon as she saw me, Lucie asked why I didn’t attend yesterday night’s classmates' reunion. She said I should have taken my hot looking boyfriend with me, that they all wanted to know you. That she didn’t know I was here, bitch, of course you knew because I wrote you two months ago” she cried again, her mum holding her a little stronger.
“I felt like my sixteen years old self again and it was horrible. All of those nights I spent crying because I thought I was wrong, I wasn’t worth being in the group, that my personality was too bitchy and that I needed to change. They all met and no one thought about me, again. Why? Am I such a bad friend?” she asked still shaking.
“ Y/N, listen to me. We talked about this so many times in the past years. It’s not about you, not at all. You are such a strong woman. You are loyal, caring and always near your friends as much you can. You’d split yourself in two just to be sure to help everyone and I am so proud of the person you’ve become. All those high school years, they made you stronger and aware of how you should have smoothed your personality’s sharp edges. And you did and now you have your friends in London and you have Shawn. We all love you and we all accept you for who you are because you’re wondeful like this” her mom sweet talked to her but her voice was firm and serious. That made Y/N calm down a little. I wondered how was it like when Y/N was just sixteen and struggled with all of this being just a teenager. Being set aside from who was supposed to be your friend must have been so hard to take. I knew she was smarter than all of other girl’s of her age because she grew up with her older brother’s friends around the house. I knew she was able to discuss serious topics with her parent’s friends at dinner without sounding immature. I knew she had a special bond with her English teacher because she was just ten steps forward everyone else and she could read between the lines what another person was telling her in another language that wasn’t her own. I knew that people used to make her feel different and not special. That she was, she is. She’s special.
“Mum, I don’t have friends that really love me, I don’t. I just have you and dad and Y/b/n. Even Shawn is gonna get tired of me one day and I won’t blame him for it. He’ll leave me, mom. And I’ll be all by myself again” she whispered. She was so caught up in her past self. It sounded like she was referring to me like her high school crush and not her lover. My eyes went wider as soon as I heard those words leave her cracked lips.
“ Y/N I’m here, I won’t leave you. I love you, I love you so much” I said, almost heartbroken. I had never realized she was feeling that way about our relationship. I thought she knew how much I was a fool for her. I lifted her from her mum’s lap and, without caring about her whole family looking at us, I revealed her all of those feelings I tried to show her but back then, I guessed she just needed to hear them.
“You are the woman of my life and I’m not joking here. I know I am five years older but, baby, trust me you’re way more mature than I am. You know what to say and how to say it when I need comfort. You are my home, baby. I always feel safe when I am with you and you’re the only one who makes me feel vulnerable and strong at the same time. You’re funny and so smart and, shit, sometimes I don’t even understand your jokes because they are too complicated to me to understand because I’m a dumbass who didn't’ finish high school properly while you studied your ass off to get that scholarship you wanted. You keep amazing me every day with your strength and your passion. I feel so blessed when I get to see you fall apart and then stand up again because it is so empowering to see you standing so high on your feet. You look like a damn queen ready to lead her army to victory. I love when you mess up everything and get back to work. Baby, do you remember that day you backed five cakes in the same afternoon because you weren’t satisfied with the result? We ate your chocolate cake at three in the morning and I felt so proud because you were dead tired but you managed to finish that damned cake anyway because you wanted to. And you do have friends who love you, who would drive highways and byways for you if you just asked them to. I know that for you it is difficult because those stupid children of your classmates made you think you're not worth being helped and considered by your friends but, honey, you are. You are the only person that I know that deserves all the love and the help and the support that you would have received if you allowed people to give it to you. Those people, they were wrong, baby, they are wrong. And they didn’t call you to go to that stupid dinner because they knew you would have outshined them because you are actually accomplishing the life you want and deserve, because you have already finished uni and you have already worked for important companies while they remained here to work in some shitty societies because they didn’t listen to you when you told them to study together and to look for uni abroad together. They are jealous because you are the smartest. And even the most gorgeous because, baby yes, you had quite a big nose that I know you hated and also your teeth weren’t perfect but your mind was so complex and intriguing and all those girls were scared of that and they left you. Well, let me tell you, I will always be proud of feeling dumb because I don't understand your dry humour. I will always feel amazed by your speeches even if I don’t understand what are you saying about that goddamn painting from Brunelleschi you love. And I’m sure that your friends, our friends, will always be proud of you when you will accomplish something new you fought for because you’d feel the same way about them if roles were reversed. This is what true friendship is about. And you know that in that horrible environment I work in, the showbiz, you taught me how to recognize true friends and you taught me how to trust people again. I am so grateful to have you in my life, Y/N. And from now on I will tell you every day, okay? I won’t leave you, even if you wanted to” I finished speaking almost out of breath. My chest felt lighter because I was sure she knew what I really felt for the woman standing in my arms. She looked me deeply in the eyes and a small smile broke through her tired face.
“I love you, Shawn. Also you, mum and dad. And you, dumbass” She said relieved, cuddling on me.
“Shawn is right, little pumpkin. You are an amazing woman and no one has the right to make you feel like you’re not. Not even yourself, okay?” her brother patted her shoulder.
“We are so proud of you. Also amazed” her dad added caressing her wet hair. She smiled and closed her eyes.
“Now, I’m going to prepare you a hot cup of peach tea again while you take a hot bath. Shawn?” her mum looked at me and I nodded.
“I got her, I’ll take care of her” and I meant forever.
In fact, I sweet talked to her the whole time while she was bathing, humming her favourite songs in her ear, sitting out of the white tub and holding her now soft hands. While she was drying up and dressing, I left her in the bathroom and called all of our friends, wanting to organize something special that would have made her feel appreciated. I caressed and touched her softly for the whole evening, glad to see her smile again, even if it wasn’t that bright yet. That night I loved on her so deep, kissing every sweet spot of her body and whispering loving words in her ear and on her skin. I left love bites in places that only us could appreciate to remind her of the love that was consuming me in that moment. I hold her close to my chest for the whole night, our legs intertwined and her blonde hair looking like a halo scattered on my chest while I played lazily with them. I watched her sleep, telling her about the future I saw when I looked in her eyes. I hoped my words could make her dream rosy dreams.
3 days later, Y/N’s birthday
(Y/N’s POV)
After the episode of three days ago, Shawn made sure to always touch me. Our fingers intertwined or his arm around my shoulders or waist, it really didn’t matter, but his skin on mine felt so good. What happened on the bathroom floor fortified our special bond. I felt like now I was appreciated fully from my lover and it was the best feeling ever.
In the morning, he woke me up very early which was strange because he knows I love sleeping. We had a nice walk to the old part of the city and had a delicious breakfast in a small, hidden bar. We talked about his upcoming tour and the master I applied for. We were lazily strolling back home, full of all the food we’ve eaten.
“I wrote a song about you. Actually, about what happened to you. I know I haven’t experienced that kind of situation but I’m sure millions of other girls and boys are struggling like you did. So I wrote a song. The first verse is about not comprehending why people don’t accept you for who you are. Then, in the bridges, we have like a rising up of the music because the girl I’m talking about, you, starts a new journey far away from toxic people like the ones you met. The chorus is about finding the people who will be by your side for the rest of your life, not only a lover but mostly friends who feel like part of a family, you know. Like Brian and Geoff to me. And the last verse talks about the astonishing woman that girl had become and the love I have for her. I would like to make it the next single but first I’d like you to hear it. If it’s too personal I won’t publish it, I promise” he spoke slowly and I was happy to hear the news.
“I think it is a good idea. You’d give all those guys a light to follow, hope, you know. I would have loved to have an idol singing about something that actually concerned me. I am glad to be your muse for this song” I smiled, tightening my grip on his glove covered hand.
“You always are my muse. Everything I do, I do it for you or your love. Just, keep it in mind, okay? Now hurry up, I wanna give you my present” He exclaimed childishly. I laughed climbing the stairs that led to the door, using my keys to enter. As soon as I turned to enter the living room, I saw all of my friends from university and some of the crew members I had become attached to standing in the room, wearing colourful t-shirts and holding a long sign saying “Happy birthday sweetie!”.  I laughed nervously and walked out of the main door again, shocked, meeting Shawn warm chest.
“Where are you going?” he laughs hugging me tightly.
“They..here..I haven’t dreamed it, have I?” I cried, happy tears spilling from my eyes.
“Go, greet them” he smiled again kissing my hair. I ran back into the living room and hugged them all at once.
“Oh my god guys, what are you doing here? When did you arrive? How?!” I couldn’t stop stuttering. I hugged them again, taking my time to greet every one of them properly.
“Shawn told us what happened with your ex-classmates. Listen, petal, we love you. We are here to celebrate our friendship and our super strong and hard rocking girl, got it? No one is gonna leave you, you can be as bitchy as you want because it is your fucking birthday and we’re gonna party!” Y/bf/n screamed at the end, hugging me again. I felt so blessed.
“Thank you so much guys, really. It means the world to me” I admitted kindly, wiping away the tears with the shirtsleeve.
“Shawn brought us all here, to be honest. He’s the one who paid for everything and the one who organized the most fun long-weekend of our lives.” Said Brian, nodding to my boyfriend standing behind me. I turned around and threw my arms on his shoulders, making him lower his face and placing my lips on his. He smiled and then kissed me deeper, our friends cheering around us.
“I love you, hun. That’s amazing, you are” I murmured after our lips departed.
“You still have to open your present” he winked at me.
I knew from that moment on, I’d have never been alone.
2,2k of angst, sad but strong reader. (A lot of) swearing but also a lot of empowering words.
I know this isn’t really an imagine related to Shawn but I wanted to give Fake Friends a fair sequel- and end- because I feel like it is an important topic. Everyone feels lonely sometimes but we react in different ways. I hope that this writing can help you to see a lighten future where you leave back all the toxic people in your life.
Please know that feedback (as reblogs, likes, grammar suggestions and messages) are super appreciated. If you want to slide into my dms to talk about everything, I’m B and I’m here to help.
Also, I recommend you to listen to “Real Friends” by Camila Cabello. I really like it and it suits the imagine.
They were right when they said we wouldn’t stop partying for a second. In fact, we didn’t. We went to Milan and Verona, where Shawn and I shared a sweet kiss under Juliet’s balcony while he was humming “Love Story” by Taylor. One night we went to a local club and came home at six, after eating hot croissants for breakfast.
So today, the last day of my crazy long-weekend birthday celebration, we voted for staying here and visiting the little city I grew up in. We are strolling around, looking at the shop windows (not really interested in buying anything) when I see one of my old classmates with a baby in a stroller. I feel my lungs contract, gasping for air for a few seconds; probably even my heart misses a few beats. Then I feel all the anger, humiliation and sadness I repressed for years coming back to surface. My heart then starts so race quickly, palms getting a little sweaty while they close into tightened fists. I take a deep breath, trying to come back down to Earth. I’m not like that, like them. I am smart and I’m going to behave accordingly.
“Guys, give me a minute” I say smiling a little and starting to go toward her but a big hand gently wraps around my arm.
“That’s Sophia, right? You sure you want to go?” asks Shawn, looking into my eyes to let me know he really was concerned.
“Yeah, I wanna fix this. Sooner or later I’ll have to..go on with my life. I guess sooner is now and I really need to understand why they acted like that” I reply giving him a soft peck on the lips to thank him
“Why don’t you guys go sit in that little bar? I assure you it is super comfy and we’ll have a super tea break with a lot of cookies and stuff” I add, looking at them, waiting for a confirmation. They all nod in response and start to make they way to the tempting showcase full of Italian desserts.
“I’ll go with them but please call me if you need anything,” asks a worried Shawn and I laugh
“Babe she’s not a monster, she’s just a girl”
“A girl who made you suffer for years without any apparent reason. I’ll be your knight in shining armour and I’ll save my mistress” he smiles proudly, making me burst into laughter.
“Gosh, you’re so stupid. You can save your mistress from eating too much sugars later, now go”
“Yup. Just remember that I love you and you’re amazing and everything we talked about, okay?” he pecks me on the cheek and follows the other dudes.
As soon as he’s past the door I move closer to the girl, smiling a little.
“Ehi, Sophia!”
“Ehi Y/N, haven’t seen you in a while! How are you doing?” she asks, hugging me for a few seconds before distancing herself to look at me “You look amazing! look at that body of yours” she smiles again.
“I’m good thanks and you?” I reply kindly “is he yours?” I add, looking at the sleeping baby.
“My brother’s newborn, Luca. He’s cute, isn’t he? I’m fine anyway. Actually, I am engaged!” she exclaims excitedly.
“Really? Wow! It’s amazing, congratulations” I hope I sounded happier than I actually am.
“And I see you’re with Shawn! I still remember when we were talking about him back in 2018, loving his music and his naked torso also” she winks but I don’t actually share a bright smile with her since she’s talking about my amazing boyfriend and not about an object.
“How did you end up together?” what a nice way to ask how we met.
“We met in a library in London. I was there to buy a book and he needed to hide for a few minutes since too many fans were following him. And, yeah, we just started to talk.  Guess he found something special in me” I smile at the memory of that cloudy and ordinary-not-so-ordinary afternoon.
“I wasn’t invited but I’m sure you knew it since you were one of the organisers” I answer directly. Her eyes go a little wider and I could even trust her surprise if I didn’t know she was such an actress.
“Oh, I am so sorry! I thought you were in the Facebook group chat, we sent the invitation there. I’ve lost your number so I assumed Marti would text you or call you” she sounds so fake.
“So there’s even a group chat? Listen, honestly I don’t wanna argue with you but why do you have to be such a bitch?” I wonder, sounding strangely self-conscious.
“Sorry?” she looks at me surprised.
“You heard me. Why do you have to cut me off like that? Why did you even need to cut me off back then?” I continue, now waiting for her to answer.
“I don’t know what are you talking about, we were friends. Yes we didn’t invite you but it was a mistake” she tries to explain but I can see the cruelty patiently waiting behind her big, brown eyes.
“Listen, none of us here is an idiot. Friends do not act like you all acted back in high school. Friends are meant to support each other when one of them falls but even when they succeed. You had never supported me, on none of these occasions. Friends are supposed to be kind to each other, caring and present in every moment, not just when they need something from you. How many times I drove forty minutes on dangerous streets just to come and give you help? And how many times did you do the same for me? Let me tell you, not once. Friends should push you over your limits, make you better; but you always told me I was exaggerating when I was just growing and you continued to declare that I was being bossy while I was just trying to help you through projects and homework because you sucked, mostly because you chatted during class, however, I didn’t want you to fail. Friends talk to each other whenever they do something wrong because they care and they don’t wanna lose their friendship. They don’t smile at your face and then go talk shit behind your back, making you feel bad because of course I found out, every time, what you were saying about me, how you were telling everyone to stay away from me because I always wanted to rule. Friends don’t come around only when they need your help, only when they realize you’re good to them; friends stay by your fucking side, even if you’re being bitchy or bossy or whatever because they know you and they know that if you act like that its because you’re suffering. Friends do not go around, spilling someone else’s secret. I confided to you all of my deepest fears and brightest dreams and you mocked me. I revealed to you all the problems my family was going through and you had the strength to tell me I was just blowing everything out of proportion because I wanted to be pitied. I wanted a sister, a partner in crime, not someone looking at me like I was an oily stain on their favourite sweatshirt. For two years you all came to my birthday parties without a small, insignificant present! I would have loved even a stupid t-shirt. Did you remember how much money we spent every year to buy you expensive presents? And I have never received one! You were so...selfish. How come that this year you sent me a letter to London to wish me a happy birthday? Maybe because now that I’m with Shawn I could be useful?
I have been a friend to you, to all of you. I was always ready to wipe your tears with my fingers while I was still trying to get mine to dry. I let you copy my homework whenever you couldn’t make yours and you wouldn’t even share your snacks with me. To you, I was good only when you realized that no one could give advice like me or that no one would drive in the rain with hot Mc Donald to cheer you the fuck up. And, for sure, friends don’t want to catch up when you happen to have a famous boyfriend they want to impress. So yeah, I guess we weren’t friends and we surely aren’t now.”
“I didn’t know you felt like this, you never told us”
“You never asked! I always shared my happy moments with you. All of those summer nights, when I was on vacation and fell in love with different boys and made such cool experiences and memories you wished you made because you only saw them in movies. You told me I was a bitch because every summer I kissed a different guy while I was just experiencing life, I was being normal. And when I got stuck with one guy in particular you told me I pissed you off because I could only talk about him. You even had the courage to say that I was out of control when I described all those summer nights when I went to that small lounge bar by the seaside and danced the life out of me. You even indicate my parents as crazy because they would let me stay out with my friends to see the sunset and to have breakfast together! For two long years, I stopped having fun with my other friends because I had your voices on replay on my mind, telling me how to behave. You ruined me and it took me so long to get back on my feet, you know?”
“We never told you what to do, we were just being honest” she declares, almost looking offended.
“Yes, you did. You made me feel wrong for a very long time. My light shut down because of you. Fuck, I even gave up on singing because every time I was humming you told me to shut up because I was out of tone” I finish, suddenly feeling exhausted. I have just blurted out all of the scars and pain I had in my body. Now it is a weight she has to share too.
“Well, you don’t seem pretty sad now, do you? You have your beloved Shawn so I guess you’re still a bitch and you’re treating him right, if you know what I mean” she complained harshly. My right hand flies and lands hard on her cheek.
“Don’t you ever talk to me again like that. I wanted, needed you to be my friend. I trusted you. I was fragile and you took advantage of that. But now I’m not fragile anymore. I am strong and happy and most of all I am loved. I hope one day you’ll feel loved too so, maybe, you’ll realize how much of a desperate, lonely woman you are.” I declare emotionless, looking for the last time at her scandalized, silent face.
As I walk in the bar, I realize how broken and unhappy Sophia must be. How insignificant and unsuccessful she must feel. Because as soon as I sit on my boyfriend’s legs, with his arms lovingly wrapped around me and our friends laughing for something stupid Geoff said, I understand that people like Lucie and Sophia, people who act like bullies, just feel alone. They feel like they’re not great and, since they aren’t, you don’t deserve it too. This is what crosses their minds. They do not feel better or superior, trust me. They all feel like they are drowning and they want to drag you down with them. Do not let them.
You need to surround yourself with people who know how to appreciate you, how to treat you at your worst and how to laugh with you at your highest. People who are not afraid to love and to show love. People who spread kindness and who praise happiness at its purest form. I can assure you, the world is full of amazing people who know how to be friends because, yes, everyone is different and we surely are different types of persons and friends but, let me tell you: we, as humans who cherish love, know how to treat each other right and we know how to make each other feel loved. Allow yourself to break free from toxic people, even if its hard, even if you see them every day: distance yourself from them and be happy with new people who treasure you for who you are and not for what you have to offer.
1.7k words. It’s my first ever, I hope you’ll like it. If you will, let me know, please! Feedback is always appreciated. Also, every suggestion (on grammar or contents etc) is welcomed.
WTK: Soulmate normal “non-famous” Shawn. Fluff, soft and sweet. Don’t know how else to describe it.
I had never seen anything clear in my life. Everything was blurry. I had never cherished wood grains or dewdrops on flowers in the morning. It was normal for people of my age, nobody finds their soulmates being this young. My mum and dad met when they were 25 and everything, from that moment, was clear for them. Like, literally clear. My mum said that, after clarity, your eyes get watery for a few seconds before this layer of fog disappears and you catch sight of what (or who) is around you. You can read words in italics, and she said its so elegant. You can see freckles, and she says mine are beautiful because they remind her of rays of sunshine. And, most important, you can finally encounter the person you’re supposed to spend your life with, your soulmate. When clarity ends, you can appreciate every perfect imperfection: small scars, babyish pimples and those beautiful shades in someone’s eyes. At least, I guess they’re beautiful. This is why my parents called me Claire. It is a clichè because it represents the clarity, yes, but it has a deep meaning for them and I love it. I was looking forward to seeing the world from a different perspective. I couldn’t wait to meet my other half. But, again, I knew it was difficult to find your soulmate when you were 22, mostly because there are so many people in this world that you need to encounter a lot of different people before finding the one. My city is a big one, but I used to attend always the same places with the same friends so I was waiting until graduation to go away and start my new life in a bigger city where, hopefully, I would have bumped into him. I didn’t know there was no need to go that far. Love was just coming in my life.
I remember that week. It was summer and it was incredibly hot. I was working at the coffee shop at the corner of st. John’s street. I used to work there every summer since when I was 16; the owner, Julie, a lovely lady, thought me to make coffees without spilling the liquid out of the cup; she used to tell me what was it like, when she was my age and she was preparing coffees for the regiment’s soldiers during World War II. That’s when she met her husband, Jeoff. I knew all about their first meeting and their love story. I knew every “symptom”. But I couldn’t recognize them when they arrived.
On Monday that week, I was preparing the usual Cappuccino for Mr Morris when I glimpsed a small milky spot on my new apron. It was just for a few seconds and then everything went blurry again. I was impressed and pretty shocked. “It must have been my imagination or the heat. Nothing to really worry about” I repeated myself. In the following four days, at the exact same time (11:35 am), I identified tiny things I had never noticed before. Cuticles on my nails on Tuesday. Split ends in my hair on Wednesday. Teardrops on my cheeks on Thursday. On Friday nothing happened; the usual blur accompanied me for the whole day. On Saturday, my only free day, I was walking in the park with my beagle Peggy. I sat in the shade of a big, green tree. Peggy on my lap, my hand caressing her behind her ears. Then, all of a sudden, I started to distinguish her short, chocolate hairs under my palm and some golden spots in her puppy eyes. I had never really witnessed her petite face before. I was amazed.Â
“Your dog is lovely”, a deep voice on my left said. I turned my head but, as soon as I viewed a dark figure, my eyes got wet and tears started to run on my blushed cheeks. I was crying in front of my soulmate. I was in presence of my soulmate.
“Ehi, there’s no need to cry. Please, relax. I wanna see your eyes.” he talked again, standing closer to me. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. His voice was suave and his perfume nice, masculine. They were opposing but seemed a perfect match.
“You okay? You’re scaring me. You’re not some kind of psychopath, are you?” he asked ironically, making me giggle a little. He was funny.
“Uh, I wish you could see what I’m seeing right now. You’re so beautiful. Oh and I’m sure you’d like to know you have a small cute pimple on your forehead” he laughed and I followed him, covering my forehead with my hand to hide that imperfection.
“Actually, you could see everything if you opened your eyes. C’mon, aren’t you curious to know what’s out here?”
“Yeah, I am”, I said softly opening just my right eye. The sun was in my face and it, somehow, felt hotter. It was nice. Suddenly a bunch of chocolate curls arrived in my visual. They were long and looked soft.
“Uh I knew it! Gosh, your eyes are so blue. I have never seen colours like this before” he admitted putting one of his hands on my bended knee. I saw Peggy playing somewhere in the grass as soon as I opened my left eye.
“Stop, you’re making me blush” I laughed a little, being cautious and not looking at his face.
“That’s the point” he said, probably smiling. “I promise, I’m not that ugly. You can look at me” he added, teasing me jokingly.
I smiled shyly and then I turned my head to look at the stranger sitting in front of me. He was breathtaking. The sun was illuminating him from behind. Again, the first thing I noticed was his long curls falling on his forehead. A cute nose with some black spots and a scar on his right cheek. A warm, bright smile was on his rosy lips. But, in all this beauty, what I couldn’t help to adore was his eyes. Brown, soft and caring eyes. He was looking at my face just how I was looking at his.
“See? Not that bad, as I promised” He whispered, tugging a lock of hair behind my ears. His hands were rough and callous on my cheek but his touch was delicate. He made me feel precious.
“Let’s say I could have had a worse first imagine of this world” I said teasing him. He smiled and then we both started to look around. I was amazed by the beauty surrounding me. Even in my brightest dreams, I would have never imagined how it would have been, to finally look and not just see. All my senses seemed to come back to welcome a whole new, exciting life. I couldn’t stop my sight from running around the park. I could capture green leaves and small birds flying from a tree to another. After I was satisfied, I spun my head back in front of me, looking down at my consumed shoelaces and dirty soles. I focused my attention on a little hole in my jeans, surprised because I didn’t know it was there. Minutes passed by and when I was finally convinced that this was real, I wanted to know more of the person that allowed me to live my life at its fullest. My head slowly lifted up to look at a pair of black leather boots resting near my red Converse and then up again on a pair of legs covered in black jeans. I could now notice small insects in the grass and his guitar case laying near his right leg. I looked at his firm chest moving a little under a light blue button up. He was muscled and it really was a sight to be seen. My eyes couldn’t stop wondering around his body and he couldn’t hold his eyes to travel up and down mine. I started to blush as soon as I realized he was looking again at the pimple on my forehead and started to talk to catch his attention.
“You play the guitar? How?” I asked and he shrugged his shoulders a little.
“Just practise. My hands know how to move so I really don’t need to see the chords. I guess now it will be a bit easier. “ he answered, caressing Peggy’s head after she came back.
“Yeah, I get what you mean. I make coffees and now it will be different. Maybe a little less funny, though. I used to say I made terrible drawings with milk on the coffee’s surface because I couldn’t see. Truth is, I’m a bad illustrator.” I admitted.
“Well, so am I. We could learn together, though. Since, you know...”
“we are soulmates” I blurted out without thinking,
“we see clearly now. ” he finished smiling again, brushing his shoulder against mine. I blushed immediately. That was supposed to stay in my head.
“Yeah, also because we’re soulmates. I’d like to spend some time with you, to know you better. I wanna take you out on a date. You’re in?” he declared, trying to make me feel better. Hearing that word coming out of his plump lips, though, embarrassed me even more. His voice was also a holy sound. Was he really paired with me?
“Girl, do you always get lost in your thoughts like that?” he mocked me. I ignored it and smiled.
“Sure, going out would be fun. But you have to teach me how to play the guitar.”
“And I’d like to learn how to prepare cappuccinos. I’m terrible at it, really. My sister makes fun of me because I can’t cook. I burn everything I touch, even coffees.” We both laughed and I nodded in response.
“Speaking of clarity, my name’s Claire.”
“Nice to see you, Claire. Been looking for you for a while. I’m Shawn.”
“You’re a dork!” I laughed at his awful joke.
“Sorry, couldn’t lose my chance. Anyway, Claire?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m happy you were the first thing I saw after clarity. You look amazing. Inside out” he said staring at me with a sheepish smile and making me light up a little. He was so charming and adorable at the same time.
