Summary: All the types of kisses you share with Shawn throughout your relationship
Word Count: 2.2k+
Warnings: Some swearing and brief mentions of an anxiety attack. Very, very fluffy.
The First Kiss
You were just sitting next to each other on the ground and doing homework. Music was playing softly from your laptop and not much was said as you both worked on your Chemistry labs.
“Can you check this equation for me?” Shawn asked, pushing his notebook towards you. He smiled when you looked up from your notebook with big eyes, having not heard what he asked.
“What?” You brushed a loose strand from your ponytail back. He swore you had never looked cuter.
“Equation. Check,” he chuckled.
“Oh, sure.” You scanned over the numbers, erasing a two he had placed in front of Hydrogen, “Hydrogen has a subscript of two when it’s alone, so you don’t need the two in front.”
“Thanks.” His smile was soft and you swore you could have kissed him right then.
Last First Kiss started playing and you sang along quietly, when Shawn asked you, “Y/N, have you had your first kiss yet?”
“Shawn, you’re my best friend. Trust me, you’d be the first to know if I did.” You weren’t really fazed by the question, but Shawn seemed somewhat shocked by your answer.
“Have you been on a date?”
“Nope.” You rolled your eyes and let out a playful sigh. “Oh, I am such a poor, lonely soul.” You placed your hand to your heart and made a dramatic frown. Shawn laughed.
“I could be your last first kiss, “ he stated with a glint in his eyes.
“Stop plagiarizing One Direction. Write your own songs.”
“I have!”
“Exactly! Use them!” You both laughed. Shawn watched you as your face returned to a more restful expression. The hair that fell in front of your face did little to block the small smile still resting on your face. “What are you staring at?”
“Just how beautiful you are.” You blushed profusely. Your best friend who you happened to have a decent sized crush on just called you cute? No way.
“What are you talking about?” You tried to brush off the comment, but every thought of it made you blush even more.
“You’re so pretty. I have no idea how you haven’t had your first kiss or even been on a date, but I’m gonna change that.” Before you could respond, his lips were on yours. It was short and sweet, but it left you breathless.
Shawn started at your shocked expression, worried he had done something wrong. “I’m so sorry, I should have asked-” He was cut off by you cupping his cheeks and pulling him in again. He smiled. Nothing could beat this moment.
Top of the Head Kisses
“I don’t know how I failed it,” You exclaimed through tears. You were leaning against your car, a hand covering your tearstained face. “I worked so hard.”
“I know baby. I know,” Shawn said softly as he pulled you into his chest. His right hand went around your waist while his left held your head to his chest. He had seen you study for a whole week. You had gone to the teacher every day after school, having to cancel some of your plans with him. It didn’t make sense that you had spent all this time trying and failed anyways.
“I hate history,” You mumbled, wrapping your arms around him and pressing you head further into his chest, as if it would keep you safe from the tortuous grade.
“It’s alright babe. It’s just one grade. It won’t kill you.”
“It dropped my grade four points.”
“It’s all going to work out. We can figure out where you went wrong so you can prepare for the next one, alright?”
“Okay.”
You stayed there for a few more minutes, enjoying the company of your boyfriend. He placed his head on top of yours and you smiled.
“You’re the best boyfriend ever. You know that right?”
“Yeah.” His smile reached the side of his face when he heard you laugh. “You’re the best girlfriend.” He put his lips on the top of your head, staying there for a second before kissing it. “I love you.”
“Love you too.”
~
“Y/N, can you come over here?” Shawn asked from the doorway that lead outside. You were at your parents house and there was a campfire set up outside, waiting for everyone to gather around.
“Yeah, just let us finish this round,” you said dismissively. You and your brothers were playing Mario Carts and you were about to win when you got hit by someone’s power up. “Who did that?”
Both of your brothers laughed and you sent a glare in their direction. “You’ve got to be kidding me! How did you win that one?” one of them asked.
“Skills, baby.”
“One more round.”
“You’re on.”
“Y/N,” Shawn chuckled from the doorway, walking towards your place on the couch.
“What, babe?”
“There’s a fire outside. Come on, let’s go.” The hand he had stuck in his pocket fumbled with the case he had been carrying around for a while. “I have something important to ask.”
“You can just ask me here.” Your eyes never left the screen in front of you as you talked to him.
“You have to come outside.”
“It’s gonna have to wait then.”
Shawn shook his head. It was going to take a lot to get you outside. “You’re crazy,” was all he mumbled before leaving a kiss on the top of your head. You leaned slightly into him and he wrapped an arm around you. “Love you babe.” He pressed another kiss to your head and walked outside, looking at the perfect proposal scene in front of him.
Wedding Kisses
He couldn’t take his eyes off of you. From the moment you walked down the aisle to the moment he was told he could kiss the bride, Shawn’s eyes were on you.
“You may kiss the bride,” Shawn didn’t wait a second, wrapping his arms around you and dipping you before crashing his lips on yours. You were both in fits of giggles afterwards, you telling him that you thought you were going to fall over with how clumsy he was.
“I would never drop you, my dear,” was the only response he had. It seemed like he couldn’t get enough of you all night either, kissing you every chance he got.
It took all his willpower not to kiss you during your first dance. It was all he wanted to do, yet he realized that he had all the time in the world to do it. With your head on his shoulder and his head resting on top of yours, he was able to sneak in a few to your temple. He could feel you smile on his shoulder every time he did, and nothing had ever given him a better feeling.
All too soon, the night was over, but he kept kissing you everywhere he could reach.
“I’m never going to get tired of this,” he mumbled as you swayed together in your apartment. You were holding each other close, swaying to the music playing from your phone.
“Me either.”
Last First Kiss came on, and you both burst into a fit of giggles.
“Can you believe this is where it started?” you asked, lifting your face from his chest to get a full look at his face. “Six whole years ago.”
“You were so cute back then.” His head fell back in laughter when you swatted his arm with a fake frown.
“I was. Too bad I’m so beautiful now.”
“All the better, my dear. Everything about you is magnificent.” He dipped you and leaned down to kiss you again, smiling as he realized this is how he got to spend the rest of his life.
Forehead Kisses
“Alright, three, two, one!” He shouted from three rows back. You were at one of the areas Shawn was performing in that night. You thought it would be cool if you jumped off the stage and struck a pose in the air. The stage wasn’t too far off the ground. What could go wrong?
You jumped as high as you could, sticking both your arms in the air and making a silly face. Everything was fine until you landed. Your feet gave out from under you and you landed hard on your left knee. “Fuck!”
“Babe,” Shawn ran towards you kneeling down next to you and trying to get you to sit back. “Are you okay? What hurts?”
“My knee.” You voice came out strained and you hugged it close to your chest. “Holy shit.”
“It’s alright babe, I’ve got ya.” He carefully picked you up bridal style and carried you backstage to get you checked out. He sat down and laid you across his lap, allowing you back to rest on the armrest of the couch.
Your face was still contorted in pain, grimacing more when you knee was being inspected.
“It’s gonna be alright, babe,” Shawn whispered, pressing his lips to your forehead and letting them linger for a second. You curled up closer to him, signifying that you wanted to stay like that. He smiled in adoration and put his lips back to your forehead, staying like that until you were able to stand up and get back to his dressing room.
~
“Breath with me, baby,” you whispered as you held him close. You took deep breaths, trying to get him to sync with you. “It’s okay, it’s okay.” Soon enough, his breathing became more regulated and you were able to pull back slightly to get a better look at his face.
He was a mess. His anxiety had been through the roof the past few weeks and tonight was his breaking point. Luckily, you had been there when he needed you and you were able to calm him down.
“You’re okay,” You said softly, running your fingers through his hair and pushing you lips to his hairline. You left a few pecks there before pulling him down to lay on your chest.
“You are so strong,” your lips were still pressed to his forehead, “and I am so proud of you.”
Belly Kisses
“Shawn, he’s kicking!” you shouted from the bedroom, placing your hands on your stomach as you felt the flutters.
Shawn all but ran to the room, dropping to his knees and placing his hands on your belly to feel. “Oh my gosh. He’s kicking.” His smile reached his ears as he looked up at you. “That’s our kid.”
“That’s our kid,” you confirmed, placing your hands on top of his.
“I love our little bub. I love you,” He stated simply, closing his eyes and resting his forehead on you belly, taking in the moment. After a few seconds he picked his head up and started blowing raspberries on your belly, causing you to shake with laughter.
“Shawn!” He was mesmerized by the sight. His beautiful wife, pregnant with their child, laughing like he had just told the funniest joke in the world. He placed a quick kiss to your belly before standing up and cupping your cheeks, kissing you like the night of your wedding.
Temple Kisses
“Shh, Jack. It’s okay, mommy’s got you.” You said as you rocked your two week old son in his room. It was one in the morning and you were beyond exhausted, but Shawn needed to rest. He had a long day of interviews coming up that day and you didn’t want him to be tired. Of course, Jack had other plans.
His cries seemed to be intensifying by the minute, leaving you to hope that he wouldn’t disturb Shawn. You felt like you had tried everything. You had fed and changed him. You even went as far to change his pyjamas, hoping that maybe he just didn’t like the material. Nothing seemed to be working. Sometimes, you knew, he just needed his dad. You were hoping that wasn’t the case tonight.
Your hopes were crushed when you heard soft footsteps coming down the hallway and the door opening slowly.
“Sorry. I was trying to let you sleep but he won’t stop crying and I don’t know why.” You were close to tears and Shawn could tell that you were frustrated.
“No, no, it’s okay. Let me try.” He took the wailing baby from your arms and started bouncing to soothe him. It took a few minutes for it to stop, but Jack eventually started to calm down, falling asleep on Shawn’s shoulder. “There we go.” Shawn carefully placed his son back in his crib and turned to look at you. “He just need his daddy tonight.”
You were almost asleep standing up and Shawn smiled to himself. His perfect little family all in one room. You jumped slightly when you felt his arms wrap around you.
“You’re such an amazing mom. I hope you know that,” he mumbled into your shoulder.
“You’re an even better dad.” You turned your head to kiss him on the temple, sliding your head down afterwards to rest on his shoulder.
He pulled his head up to kiss your temple in return before saying, “I am so lucky to have you two.” You looked up and smiled tiredly, allowing him to see the dark circles under your eyes from multiple nights of interrupted sleep. “Let’s get you to bed, pretty mama. You need some sleep.”
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summary: it’s Lilly and Shawn being exactly like you’d expect(ing) them to be
warnings: language, Mutual Stubbornness (TM), willpower for a good cause
WC: 1.6k
Shawn’s eyes open slowly and all he sees is gold. He closes them again, feels the strands of it cling to his eyelashes. He smiles around panting breaths and murmurs from deep in his throat.
“Think we just made a baby.”
His voice is a low grunt into Lilly’s shoulder. Her hips have just stilled after rocking him through the aftershocks of his orgasm. He’s lying behind her, warm and heavy and every ounce of him comfort in human form. The arm that rests around her torso tightens and it reminds her to speak.
“Think so?”
He nods, freeing his sweaty pink face from her hair, using his nose to smooth it away from the back of her neck. He wets his lips and lets them graze where he pleases.
“I can feel it. Can’t you feel it?”
She loves this part of him, these little pieces of magic he chases after sometimes. Other people might not find them quite so charming -- maybe they’d be immature or foolish, but Shawn and Lilly are storytellers in their souls. They chase magic wherever they can sense it.
“I dunno, I just know I want it,” she says.
He shakes his head stubbornly. “We just made our baby, Lill. I’m telling you.”
Lilly grins, easing her hips away. They release each other’s bodies with reluctant sighs. She rolls over and plants herself on his chest, chin on his sternum, legs between his.
“You are awfully confident in your abilities there, mister. You must think you fucked me real good.”
Shawn smirks. “If you got pregnant every time I fucked you good, we’d have a lot more kids now.”
Lilly laughs, loud and delighted. Shawn tucks hair behind her ear and laughs along with her because that’s what he does when his wife laughs. It’s one of her gifts to him everyday.
“In a month we’ll know if I’m right,” he presses, determined suddenly to be the baby oracle. Lilly rolls her eyes.
“We won’t know which time actually did it.”
The cogs of his big weird mind start turning. Lilly almost winces.
“We could. We haven’t had sex in a month because of the festivals.”
Lilly narrows her eyes and finishes his thought. “We’d have to stop having sex until after my next period. And longer, really, to be totally sure.”
Shawn nods blankly like that’s a-ok. Lilly sneers.
“You want to go weeks without fucking me just to prove this theory you have no reason to believe is true?”
This particular magic chase is no longer cute at all.
Ever determined, ever ridiculous, he nods eagerly, licking his lips and widening his eyes as he prepares to launch into Shawn Logic. Lilly locks her jaw and shuts down.
“Baby, it’s not that long. You’ll see. I’m gone for some of that time anyway. I’m telling you, we have a baby. We’re pregnant.”
Lilly’s eyes roll so hard she’s worried they’ll fall up into her head. “First of all, I hate it when people say “they’re” pregnant. You’re not pregnant, Shawn. You won’t have a precious little parasite squeezing out of you in nine months.”
Shawn is undeterred, smiling that eye-crinkling, chin-dimpling smile that makes her knees weak somehow even when she’s lying on top of him.
“But you will.”
From that night, he’s fixated. It’s all she can do to keep him from actually telling people. He tells Brian, though, before she can catch him and scold him. Brian’s hoping for a little boy.
Lilly gives him a week before he cracks. I mean, what’s he going to do? Jerk off in a sock while his perfectly lovely wife lies next to him in bed? No. This won’t go on, not more than a week. Maybe two if he’s really being a stubborn ass.
But what Lilly conveniently (or inconveniently) forgets about her husband is his extraordinary willpower. He won’t budge. He’s always polite in turning her down, but it doesn’t make it any less annoying. So she vows to make his life very, very… hard.
They’re at the kitchen table in Toronto and she sits up to reach for a napkin so he can see the way the scoopneck of her shirt falls open to show off the edges of her new lacy blue balconet bra the color of midnight. His fingers twitch around his fork. He just keeps his eyes down and shoves more ziti in his mouth.
They’re heading back up to their room overlooking Central Park and the elevator doors slide shut with them alone inside. In the mirrored doors he can see them looking like a million bucks -- she’s in a deep purple evening gown with a slit up the leg and he’s in a tux. The way she watches him in the reflection feels almost predatory. He swears every hair on his body is standing on end like they want to drag him into her if he won’t do it himself. He folds his hands together against his legs and clears his throat. She seems to jolt like she wasn’t expecting the sound. That night he holds open the door to their hotel room and helps with her zipper that comes all the way down to the swell of her ass and falls asleep with her draped over him, still in her pajamas.
They’re outside drinking coffee on the balcony in Los Angeles. She’s in his big gray sweater and her little yellow panties. Her hair shifts in the breeze so he can smell strawberries mixed with the scent of the hot palms. She looks so exactly Lilly that he almost can’t breathe. She’s not trying this time. It’s when he got the closest to cracking.
It started as a real, honest theory. It becomes a game for them both. At separate points it occurs to them that they could still be having sex without penetration, but they’re each too bullheaded to mention it.
And then soon enough it becomes something unexpected -- all bated breath, hushed exchanges of baby names in the middle of being almost-not-quite-asleep, glancing around spare rooms to imagine crib placements. The waiting feels like an odd show of reverence to a big, beautiful maybe. It’s its own kind of chasing magic, Lilly thinks.
Shawn comes home late from the studio one night. Most of the lights are off but there’s a candle flickering on the coffee table. The bay window is open. The breeze it provides flutters the black silk robe she’s had forever as it whispers against her thighs. He’s pretty sure she’s naked beneath it. With a tilting smirk, he turns his gaze away and wishes he didn’t always immediately turn pink at the sight of all his wife’s perfect skin.
“Lills, thought you’d be asleep,” he grunts, dropping his keys into the pottery dish her dad made them as a housewarming gift. He has to work harder to tamp down his smile when she curls around his arm and tugs him toward the couch. He goes willingly and lets her climb on top of him when he sits. He’s been gone all day. He misses her.
Shawn lets himself touch her, cupping her hip and stroking her back as she leans in and suckles at the shell of his ear, kissing and licking and nibbling while his breath starts to shake.
She breathes quietly. Her pulse is calm. Her smile is soft when she inhales to speak into his ear, a moaning little whisper.
“Hi, daddy.”
Shawn’s eyebrows come together. He exhales in a sharp hiss of surprise.
“Honey, did you just have a small stroke?”
She leans back slowly, eyes hooded. She scoops her hands up around his neck and it makes the inky dark shoulder of her robe slide down distractingly. Shawn wets his lips and shifts her, feeling himself harden pathetically. He’s absently considering how fucking fast he’ll come when he finally gets to feel her for real again when she presses her thumbs gently into the spots below his ears that tilt his gaze back up to hers.
“No, Shawn, you’re not my daddy.”
It takes him too long. He swears without the sexual release his brain’s not working right. But he gets there. And when he does, he crashes right through it.
His entire body goes tense. His fingerpads dig into her waist and back. His thighs go tight beneath her weight. His jaw drops stiffly. Everything just… stops.
“Are you fucking with me?” he breathes.
She smiles in a way he’s never seen before. He’s never seen anyone look so perfectly, existentially delighted, like their whole life’s purpose has been found and completed.
“I’m having your baby, it’s none of your business,” she teases, but it loses its intended attitude of long suffering vindication through the brightness of her grin.
Maybe it’s the intense build up of emotions that gets him there, but Shawn bursts into tears faster than he did when he broke his collarbone playing street hockey in the third grade. And when Shawn cries, Lilly cries.
“I’m gonna be a daddy, I’m gonna be a daddy,” Shawn chants wetly, hugging her to his chest as she sniffles into his ear, petting his hair.
The tears make way for laughter before too long. It’s big and loud and a little hysterical because neither of them knows what to do with feelings this size. So they throw them around like an emotional pillow fight until their clothes are flying off and Shawn is whispering in Lilly’s ear while he reaches between her legs to tell her he thinks it’s definitely, totally a girl.
Virtually high-five me for finally writing some pure, unadulterated fluff and buy me a Ko-fi (link on main page)!
This time, I am taking you back to the 1800s, when (and where) Queen Victoria ruler her kingdom like a badass. I am so in love with the tv series that I have decided to write an imagine inspired by it. English is not my first language, therefore writing like a kid in the 19th century was quite difficult, BUT I made my research and it turned out pretty well. Most of my characters existed in the past- well, Shawn didn’t of course.
I am back with a new imagine which could turn into a mini-series or it could have a spin-off. If you want this to happen, please remember that feedback is always appreciated!
I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I loved writing it.
“Lady Jane, niece of the Duchess of Buccleuch, Your Majesty.” I said, bowing in front of the Queen. My first day at Buckingham Palace.
“Duchess, Lady Jane, I am delighted by your presence at court. I believe I will enjoy your company very much. You have our permission to accommodate in your apartments, we will meet at 40 minutes after 14 hours for my daily walk in the park." Queen Victoria replied, smiling kindly at me while I lifted my head again, holding my hands tight together to make them stop shaking. I excused myself and exited the Throne Room with my old aunt, never turning my back to the Royal Family as Mama taught me when I was little. I followed my aunt into our apartments, mesmerized by the golden greatness of the palace and its hallways. Shining, crystal chandeliers hanging from the decorated ceilings, large paintings adorning the walls.
”You need to straighten your back while you bow, Jane.” the Duchess scolded, giving me a quite disappointed look.
“I’m sorry, ma’am. I will practise as soon as my engagements will permit me to.” I answered, eyes looking at the floor. I hoped the Queen did not notice my lack of composure.
“Not today then. You heard Her Majesty, you better hurry and change your attire. We need to be ready to follow the Queen in all of her appointments when she requires our company. Do not forget to prepare your watercolours and your paint brushes. It is good use to gift Her Majesty with a painting to show her your abilities. God knows if she will find you useful.” she told me with her usual cold tone. I nodded in silence and excused myself, moving to the other room to change my dress and shoes into something more comfortable than the ceremony dress I wore to meet Her Majesty Queen Victoria and His Royal Highness Prince Albert.
A little knock on the door caught my attention while I was selecting the best brushes of my collection. I opened the door slowly, ready to bow at whoever was in front of me.
“Jane, you must not open the doors by yourself. We have the guards for this reason.” the Duchess exclaimed from the nearest room. That old woman had eyes everywhere.
“I am sorry, ma’am. It will not happen again.” I confirmed, sighting a little before turning my head to the door. A handsome, tall man was standing uncomfortably in front of me. He was wearing simple, cotton clothes and his hair, although had been visibly brushed to give them some order, were messy on his head. He smiled kindly, plump limps adorning his face that had now turned bright, embarrassed red. He was carrying a golden tray, a letter laying on it.
“Correspondence for the Duchess of Buccleuch, ma’am.” he exclaimed, extending the tray in my direction. I admired his smile, flattering my eyelashes fast to come back to my senses once I realized I was staring too long.
“Thank you, I will consign it to her.” I smiled, taking the golden paper in my gloved hands. The boy bowed his head a little, retiring himself and walking down the hallway. I could have sworn he was muttering to himself.
“Give it to me, Jane! I am not too old to open a letter by myself.” the Duchess said, taking the envelope from my hands and sitting in her armchair.
“Go, do something, Jane. I am sure you will find something else to do instead of standing there, looking at me.” she added and I nodded, dismissing myself and walking out of our apartment.
“The Queen is pregnant, Jane, so you must practise your musical skills in order to delight her whenever she requests it. In her conditions, she will not have many engagements and you must amuse her during her period of rest.” the Duchess ordered and I assented, accepting for the thousandth time a new order.
“Yes, ma’am. I will be in the Green Room, exercising myself at the piano.” I bowed at her and walked down the stairs, losing myself in those infinities, golden hallways.
“It seems to me that you might be in need of help, My Lady.” a masculine voice said behind me. I turned and curtsey at the blonde, good-looking man dressed up in a classic English red and white uniform.
“Yes, Sir. I was searching for the Green Room to play the piano but I must have lost my path. “ I answered, intertwining my hands in front of me and straightening my back, the corset digging in the soft form of my hips and obliging me to stay rigid.
“I will be honoured to walk you to your destination. I believe I have not had the pleasure to make your acquaintance before. I am Lord Alfred Henry Paget.” he said, lifting his hat with his right hand while walking by my side.
“Lady Jane, niece of the Duchess of Buccleuch, My Lord.” I replied, reverencing again. If I was obliged to introduce myself once more in this way, I would be sickening straight away. Fortunately, we walked in silence down various hallways.
“I believe you are very talented in the matter of music. I would like to hear your favourite piece, Lady Jane.” he proclaimed entering the Green Room.
“It would be a pleasure to me, Lord Alfred.” I replied, sitting in front of the instrument with my handwritten score in front of my eyes. I played for what felt like hours, waiting for Lord Alfred to excuse himself in order to let me finish but he seemed too delighted to acknowledge my tiredness so I had to keep playing and playing until a knock on the open door gave me the perfect excuse to rest my hands.
“Please, do not stop playing, Lady Jane. Your music is nectar to my ears. “ the Lord said, requiring me to start again.
“Pardon Sir, I would never interrupt your activities but I have correspondence for you, Lord Alfred.” the same servant I met multiple times during my stay here spoke vehemently but politely. I turned slightly my gaze to look at him, my hands dancing expertly on the keyboard.
"You are my favourite page boy for a reason, Shawn. You can go now.” the Lord replied and I repressed a surprised smile. The boy, Shawn, curved his head down and exited the room.
"I would like you to sit with me, Lady Jane. I believe your hands feel heavy after such an impeccable performance.” added Lord Alfred after he read the letter, making me almost sighting in relief. I sit on the bench in front of his chair, hands in my lap.
"May I say that I have never heard a respectable man like you call a servant by his name, Lord Alfred.” I questioned politely, looking at the man sitting with the letter now opened in front of him.
"I recognise you are right, Lady Jane, it might result inappropriate but Shawn and I grew up in different parts of the same house. It was not unusual for my kid self to play with him. I believe he is as respectable as me when it comes to names and not noble titles, My Lady. " he answered calmly, making me smile a little.
"I find it very kind of the Queen to permit you to take your servants here at Palace. " I replied while he nodded.
"Being Chief Equerry and Clerk Marshal of the Queen has its privileges, beyond its duties, My Lady. In fact, I must excuse myself but I must go to solve some of my obligations. Hearing you play was a pleasure, I do hope I will be able to do it again soon.” he exclaimed, almost happily, while we both stood to greet each other.
"It was an honour, Lord Alfred.” I smiled politely, bowing after he kissed my right hand.
"If you happen to get lost again, please ask me or Shawn for help. I would never want you to miss your engagements because you could not find the right way, Lady Jane.” I giggled a little, nodding slowly.
"You have my word, Lord Alfred.” I agreed and he smiled one last time before wearing his hat on his head again and walking out of the small salon. He was a respectable man and a tempting marriage prospect, indeed, but he could not make my heart race in the same ways as his valet.
"Shawn, my reliable friend, I have a great tiding for you! I have been chosen to be the Queen’s Chief Equerry and Clerk Marshal. We are moving to Buckingham Palace, dear friend! Please, guarantee that all my essentials are packed before Saturday at 13 hours.” my master, Lord Alfred, ordered kindly. I nodded and bowed my head.
"I am pleasantly happy but not surprised for your achievement, Sir. I will personally pack your chest with all the things that are necessary.” I obeyed, making my way into the Master’s estate to prepare all the items of baggage.
"Everyone, listen! Today the new Ladies-in-waiting of the Queen will arrive. The Queen will host a luncheon and you will all be expected to greet them with their noble title or calling them Lady. Everyone will be needed today, so forget about your normal role because you will be demanded to do whatever will be necessary, including serving someone who isn’t your master. All clear? Now, go and do your work.” Mister Penge, the servants’ supervisor, explained with his usual harshness what were our daily tasks. Clearly, being Lord Alfred’s page did not exonerate me from normal tasks. Soon, I was asked to deliver envelopes all over the Palace, ending right in the wing reserved to the Queen’s Ladies. I knocked at the white and gold door, the Royal Guards looking at me dubiously. A young, beautiful girl opened the door, a smooth move like she was used to doing it every day. I doubted she was.
"Correspondence for the Duchess of Buccleuch, ma’am.” I spoke kindly, my cheeks immediately burning red because of her eyes scanning my clearly not noble attire. I took advantage of her distraction to admire the way her dress hugged her small frame perfectly. It was rather simple to be worn by a Lady like her: blue and long, without any particular pattern but pearled lace adorning her round, full chest and her slim waist.
Then I looked at her round, natural rosy face: blue eyes shining, matching the Royal environment surrounding us, and blonde, curly hair framing her cheeks softly, leaving her pierced ears free to make those big, celestial blue earrings reflect the pale light of the sun.
"Thank you, I will consign it to her.” she smiled, locking my eyes with hers while her delicate hands, covered with matching blue gloves, took the letter from the tray. I nodded, bowed and made my way back into the servant’s floor, scolding myself for being too insolent while looking at her. She is a Lady and, therefore, not someone made for me.
"Shawn, please, deliver this letter to Lady Jane. I believe I saw her walking in the garden after she left Her Majesty’s apartments. I am surprised her aunt, the Duchess, left her alone so please, hurry. I would really like to meet her soon. I give you custody of this letter.” Lord Alfred issued me with this duty and I nodded immediately, placing the letter on the golden tray and walking out of the Palace. The air was cold but fresh, the sky was promising white snow. I walked for a few minutes before finding Lady Jane sitting on a marble bench, her wooden easel in front of her and two palettes of watercolours placed on the table at her right. A thin brush placed in her left hand, lifted in the air and moving suavely to imitate the forms of the white flowers blossomed in the garden in front of her.
"I am sorry to interfere in your activities, ma’am, but I have a letter for you from Lord Alfred.” I announced, moving to be in her sight. She started a little on her seat, brush falling from her hold. I knelt to the ground, taking the tool in my bigger hands and offering it to her with the letter.
"Thank you, you can put the letter on the table.” she answered weakly, her usual warm smile long forgotten. I assented, placing the envelope far from the big cup full of coloured water to preserve it from being soaked. I bowed and started to walk away, before turning again.
"I would not want to sound unkind, but I believe it is getting cold outside and your dress does not seem warm enough.” I said hesitantly.
"I believe you are right, indeed, but going in my apartments would mean meet my aunt and I would rather not right now. Thank you for your carefulness.” she replied, smiling faintly. I nodded again and bowed, starting to walk away once more. I could not leave her like that, though. I might not own a title but I am a gentleman, still. I turned again.
"I am afraid I have no right to offer this but, since I have no right to enter your apartments, ma’am, I could take you my coat to fight the cold? Or I could ask Lord Alfred and take you one of his warmer coats, I am sure it would be much more appropriate.” I spoke again and this time she turned to face me.
"I would like to be left alone, please, so do not call Lord Alfred.” she answered, turning back to draw a harsh line on her canvas. I sighted, ready to recite my excuses, but she interrupted me.
"I would also like to wear your coat, please. I do not want to pass a cold to our very pregnant Queen.” she added and I smiled, relieved, running in my dormitory and going back to her. I placed my only coat, one gifted to me by my old father before my departure to Buckingham Palace, on her small shoulders. She smiled, placing her hands on mine to adjust the cloth.
"Thank you so much. Would you mind moving those flowers for me? " she asked kindly, almost giving me the chance to say no.
"Yes, ma’am. Guide me.” I replied, making my way to the small flowerbed. I started to move the flowers as her wish, making myself comfortable between them.
"This is perfect, please, hold them in this way for a little bit longer.” she commanded, sounding more like a girl and less like a lady. Sitting there, in the humid grass, I wondered how old was her, if she was happy about being at court or if she was happy in general. On any other day, if someone asked me, I would have said that she was, indeed, happy. But that day, maybe for the usual, grey sky of London, or maybe for the way a lock of her hair fell from her unkempt hairstyle, I would have answered that being a Lady was an attire too tight for her to wear.
"Please, Shawn, talk to me. Some company would make me work faster.” she spoke, her face hidden by the canvas she was working on.
"I am 22 years old and I grew up in Lord Alfred’s dad’s estate. My mother was a seamstress and my dad a squire but I was raised to be everything Lord Alfred wanted me to be: a friend, a rival in a fencing match or a musician. I am grateful because I got the chance to listen to Lord Alfred repeat his lectures or exercise his skills and, in this way, I learnt to write, to read and some science and astronomy too. Being able to read gave me the opportunity to admire the world’s greatest poems like the Odyssey or Shakespeare’s plays. Personally, my favourite is Macbeth, not only for the history it tells but mostly because of the teaching it shares with us: always choose honesty before power. And I do follow this example even if, in my opinion, a man who lived in the 17th century could have been more kind to the poor, crazy Lady Macbeth. I also like music, in fact, I can play the piano and some instruments with strings. I really enjoy looking at paintings and I know many famous artists but, unfortunately, my hands are not as delicate as yours: I would make a horrible painting if my hands were allowed to touch, even lightly, a brush.” I spoke, hearing her soft giggles coming from the seat she was sat on.
"Such a curious man you are. Please, come here. I would really like your opinion on my painting.” she said, placing the brush in the cup and standing up. I walked forward, brushing my hands on my trousers to take off the humid terrain. I stood behind her, my big frame hovering over her, allowing me to see her canvas. It represented the garden, with those white flowers that lasted all winter and that she seemed to love. The harsh line she angrily painted before was now moulded to resemble a cloud in the sky. I then recognize my figure, almost laid in that carpet of flowers that looked like snow. She did not paint my face, just some light strokes to resemble my lips, nose, eyes and eyebrows.
"Wow...this is...not what I expected, to be honest, but it is a real masterpiece. I believe your hand has a magic touch on this canvas.” I congratulated her, still mesmerized by her talent.
"I hope you do not mind, Shawn, but everything seemed too grey and sad before you came here with your charming, warm smile. I thought I needed to bring the same warmness into my painting, in order to balance the cloudy sky I see every day from this golden prison.” she answered, turning to look at me. I lowered my chin a bit, our eyes intertwined once more while I admired the smile that was gracing on her fine lips.
"I am honoured, Lady Jane.” I said, looking back to the painting. She was too beautiful.
"Just Jane for you, I beg." she whispered, surprising me with her request. I smiled and nodded, looking back at her and allowing myself to get lost in her beauty once more.
"Her Majesty, The Queen of England and His Royal Highness Prince Albert are delighted to announce the Servants’ Christmas Ball in honour of the newborn Princess Victoria. It will take place this Saturday, the 23rd of December in the basement. " The servants’ supervisor announced. A small smile appeared on my face, my gaze running around the Throne Room and laying on Shawn’s excited face. Our meetings became more frequent: it could be in the gardens, when he delivered letters and spent more time than necessary by my side as I tried to teach him the French technique to use watercolours, or I could play the piano for hours, waiting for him to casually walk by and play with me, hoping no one saw us. We smiled for a few seconds at each other, then I turned to look at the Queen, sat on the throne, happiness and relief surrounding her. She was made for being a Queen. The pregnancy had made her uncomfortable and she felt useless; now she was ready to reign over her kingdom again and what better than a ball to celebrate? She loved balls. I loved balls too.
Returned to our apartments, I dismissed myself from the Duchess and I sat at the small glass table, brush in my hand as I started to draw the dress I would have loved to wear at the party. I was expected to wear the dress the Duchess would have found more suitable for me, but I would have loved to wear a rather simple dress, without all of the elaborated patterns and diamonds. Maybe a plain green dress with a little fine lace on the hem and my favourite pin, the last gift my mom left for me: a pin with an emerald and some small pearls. I hope Shawn would have liked me better in a simple dress. Maybe, if I asked nicely, I could have gotten the dressed I was more pleased to wear.
"Shawn, I believe your ceremony suit does not fit you well enough to be seen by Her Majesty. So I asked my tailor to create a new costume for you, I believe we have the same size. And certainly, I would never want people to deem I do not treat my servants, once in a while.” Lord Alfred declared, handing me the suit.
"Thank you, Sir. I am very grateful for this.” I replied, taking the soft cloth in my hands. I hoped Jane would have found me classy enough to share a dance with me.
I was thrilled. The basement was decorated with green plants and good perfumes, a small Christmas tree in the corner with small candles to lit it up. I shaved and cleaned as much as I could, trying to be the best version I could be to deserve the company of Jane. I wore the suit, which probably cost as much as three years of my salary, and I was surprised it fitted so good on me. I looked almost...noble.
20 minutes after 19 hours, the trumpets started to play and we all lined up to greet the Queen. She was absolutely gorgeous, indeed, but the woman walking three steps behind her was breathtaking. Jane was wearing a long, green velvet dress, tight around her chest and loose around her hips. A small pin in the middle of the neckline and her hair tied up in a low bun made of a braid, the same white flowers she loved perfectly arranged between her locks.
"Maestro, please.” the Queen said, motioning to the small orchestra. The Head Master took her in his arms as they lead the dance, servants and noble joining them soon after. I walked slowly to the other side of the small living room, standing beside Lord Alfred and Lady Jane.
"Lady Jane, may I have this dance?” Lord Alfred said after a while, offering his hand to the lovely woman near him. She seemed uncomfortable, the Duchess her aunt whispering in her ear, clearly trying to convince her to accept. She was almost nodding, lifting her hand to lay it in my master’s.
"I believe, Sir, this ball is meant to intertwine servants and nobles. It would not be a good image if two nobles danced with each other. I am sure Miss Skerret would be pleased to dance with you, Lord Alfred.” Mister Penge exclaimed, showing my friend Nancy to my master. He nodded, not pleased but not angry, taking Miss Skerret’s hand and going into the dance floor. Mister Penge looked at me slightly, nodding a little in Jane’s direction and walking away to dance with the Queen. I smiled, turning to face Jane.
"Lady Jane, may I lead you to the dance floor?" I asked kindly, stretching my hand for her to take it.
"I would be honoured.” she smiled, placing her soft hand in mine with no hesitation. I squeezed it softly, leading her where the others were dancing and we started waving together, her hand on my shoulder and mine leaned delicately on the upper part of her back.
"I have reason to believe your aunt was not delighted by this ball, My Lady.” I spoke softly, looking at her shining blue eyes. She giggled, hand holding mine a little bit tighter.
"I am sure you are not mistaken, she has not stopped showing her disappointment since the ball was announced. I find it almost disrespectful, it is something the Queen really looked forward too.” She reasoned, her feet guiding mine during the Walzer we were dancing to.
"Was she? I hope she was not the only one.” I replied, distancing myself from her warm body just enough to let her twirl a few seconds, welcoming her back in my arms soon after.
"Indeed, she was not. The whole court is reunited here, tonight. I find this amusing and a good event to lighten everyone’s state of mind.” She laughed, twirling again and ending closer to my chest. We danced for a few minutes, switching partners for the next five dances before I had the chance to address her again.
"Would it be inappropriate if I admitted I missed all of you?” I whispered softly, my hand moving slightly on her back. I knew the corset was probably hurting her, her shoulders tensed and her movements not as smooth as when we danced once, in the dark of the night.
"It would not if I admitted I missed all of you too, certainly.” She smiled, her eyes looking lovely in the Christmas light.
"I wish we could be closer, just like we were when you were getting my horse ready.” She added, her face getting close to my shoulder. I sighed, memories of the time we passed as normal young persons full-filling my head.
"I wish, indeed, but I am afraid this will be the closest we will get to be tonight.” I replied, my fingers intertwined with her in a desperate attempt to satisfy the need of caress her cheek.
"Maybe I could forget my gloves on the wooden chair I see in the corner, and you would be expected to bring them to me.” Jane suggested, her warm breath caressing my neck, making me shiver.
"It would be a shame, ma’am, if you did not have the chance to wear this morbid gloves again.” I agreed, my thumb brushed softly against the uncovered skin in the middle of her shoulder blades. We stayed silent for the rest of the night, gifting each other with hidden smiles. When the Queen retired, her Ladies-In-Waiting and the rest of the nobles followed her. I stayed with my equals, cleaning until I noticed her small, light green gloves methodically placed on the chair’s seatback. I put them in the pocket of my jacket, breaking a smile as the perfume of my beloved Jane filled my senses. As I finished my duties, I climbed the stairs and patiently wait for Jane to arrive. When she did, she was wearing a dark coat on her nightgown. Her hair was no longer organized in a complicated way, only a simple hair comb to keep it from falling on her face.
"I am sorry to disturb you, ma’am, but I am afraid you may have forgotten your gloves downstairs, after the ball." I played my role, her small hand wrapping around my wrist and guiding me to a darker hallway.
“Thank you, Shawn. I would have not know what to do with myself if I did not get them back." She whispered, her hands brushing against mine to collect the gloves and placing them in her pocket.
"May I have the pleasure? One more dance with you.” I smiled, my arms embracing her tenderly.
How could I resist his loving smile? I knew the Duchess was probably waiting for me, but forgetting for a few minutes of who I was and what I was supposed to do sounded too sweet to refuse. I placed my head in the crook of his neck, his warmness feeling familiar.
"You looked..exquisite tonight. But would you mind if I...?” he whispered, his hand coming up and wrapping around my hair comb, extracting it slowly to let my hair fall freely on my shoulders and neck.
"I love seeing you..unbounded. Less like a Lady, more like a beautiful, young woman.” Shawn explained, his fingers brushing sweetly against my cheekbone, moving my messy hair to reveal more naked skin. I smiled shyly as he started to hum a slow harmony, his head lowering to caress my neck and my cheekbones with the soft curve of his rosy lips. I closed my eyes, his fingers moving more hair behind my ears, his kisses coming to my cheek. I opened my eyes again, uncertain if I would enjoy more this moment blind or not, only to find his brown eyes already staring at me with a glimpse of hope and tenderness.
"My beloved Jane...I wish I could be the man for you, and we both know I am not. But for tonight, I want to forget and just be a boy in love with a girl.” he whispered, his breath warm on me. I smiled in disbelief.
“You love me?” I questioned, my hand lifting to twist the lonely curl who fell on his forehead around my small finger. He took my free, and for once naked, hand in his, kneeling to the ground and kissing it in a slightly way.
“How could I not, my angel? Your skin is like silk under my callous finger, giving them rest after a rough day. Your eyes are always so full of admiration when I speak about music and art, even if I am just a valet. Your hair, blonde as the grain of August and perfumed like the flowers you adore. And your lips, my love...” he said, standing back on his feet and taking my face in his hands “...your lips look just like my deepest desire, the one I try to hold back so fiercely.” he murmured, his nose stroking lovely against mine.
“Please, my dear...do not hold it back. You are my only wish.” I replied. He smiled brightly at my words, nodding before pressing his lips on mine. A slow, uncertain kiss at first and a passionate embrace then, his arms closing around me and mine tugging kindly at the hair at the base of his neck. The humid sound of our lips parting and reconnecting was the only one filling the air as his tongue tapped gently against my lower lip, begging to meet mine and to capture it in a dance as sweet as the one who concerned us before. As we parted one last time, the midnight bells ringing in distance, he pressed a kiss on my forehead guiding my hands to rest over his strong chest to feel the fast beat of his heart.
Description: You come to Shawns apartment whiles he is at the studio, your emotions getting the best of you, and end up cuddled into his bed when he gets home.
Rating: None
Requested: No
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You knew the minute you sat in the drivers seat, that Shawn was not home. You knew that even though you were going to his apartment, he wouldn’t be there to comfort you, yet you went anyways. The feeling of being in Shawns apartment was comforting to you.
You grab the spare key he had given you, and slip it into the lock letting yourself in. You hang up your coat and kick your shoes to the side wandering into his home. You look around and see two of his guitars scattered around and a cup of coffee sat on the table adjacent to the piano. One guitar layed ontop of the piano, the other propper against the couch. You grab the cup and place it in his sink before grabbing his guitar on the couch and hanging it back up.
You make your way further into his home and find yourself standing outside his bathroom. A month ago, you would never have let yourself in Shawns apartment and took a shower, but Shawn had told you that he would love for you to come to his apartment even if he isnt home. He told you he wanted it to be your second home.
You hop into the shower and stand under the steaming water for a moment before grabbing a spare cloth and using some of Shawns bodywash. You rinse yourself off and grab a spare towel from the rack making your way to his bedroom across the hallway.
You dry off, placing your panties back on and throwing the rest of your clothes onto the floor. You then grab one of Shawns hoodies and a pair of his Illuminate sweats.
Once your dressed, you hang up your towel and make your way to the kitchen. You head straight to the cabinet and grab a mug, placing it under the kurig and brewing yourself a cup of hot water.
You had no excuse for coming to Shawns. You woke up this morning and sat in bed with no ambition to get up, you called in sick for work, and sat there wanting the comfort of your boyfriend. You weren’t upset, you weren’t mad, you just needed to cry. You were having one of those days.
The kurig beeps, signalling its done, and a tear rolls down your right cheek. You sniffle and wipe it away, grabbing the mug and a tea bag as the front door opens. You hear footsteps appraching the kitchen as you grab a spoon to mix some sugar into your tea.
“(Y/N).” Shawn says, prompting you to turn to look at him, a smile gracing his angelic face.
His smile immediately drops when he sees your teary eyes and he places his phone on the counter walking over to hold you.
After spending the whole day keeping it in, you break. You let your tears flow freely.
“Honey.” He sighs, pulling you head to rest in his chest, his other hand going under the hoodie your wearing to rub up and down your back.
You let out a sob and grip the bottom of his t-shirt in your hands, nuzzling into him.
“What’s wrong sweetheart.” He asks after a minute, holding your head and pulling you back to look into your bloodshot eyes.
At this point, your mascara was running down your cheeks along with your tears, the tip of your nose a cherry red as you sniffled.
“I don’t know.” You whisper looking up at him.
His usual stress free face replaced by one of deep concern.
“Don’t you have work?” He asks curious to get to the bottom of why you felt the need to cry.
You shrugged. “I called in sick this morning.”
“Are you sick?” He asks, brushing a strand of hair from your face.
You shake your head wiping another tear that slipped. He pushes you back against the counter and towers over you, anticipating your next words.
“No.” You sigh looking down. “I woke up this morning and I just couldn’t do it. I don’t know what it is. Im not sad, Im not mad, I just need to cry.” You look back up at him. He intently stares at you. “I came over here knowing you weren’t here, but I was hoping you would by chance be here. I just wanted you to hold me and do nothing for a little.”
His eyes are soft and his forehead creased as he reaches behind you to grab your tea in his right hand, and your hand in his left. He leads you to his room, where he places your mug on the nightstand and urges you to lay down. You do so, getting comfortable in his bed, and he walks around to the other side, turning on the TV and flipping to your favorite show. He places the remote down and pulls you into him. Holding you, loving you, caring for you.
“You should’ve called me.” He murmurs into the top of your head.
“I didnt want to interrupt, I know theres a lot of pressure on you lately with the album coming soon and I dont want to be a burden.” You whisper, eyes glued to the TV.
His arms tighten around you, giving you a squeeze. “You will never be a burden to me. You are my nunber one priority all of the time.”
You wrap your arms around him and attempt to snuggle deeper into him.
He places a soft kiss on your head and rubs a hand up and down your arm. “I love you (Y/N).”
You look up at him with adoration in your eyes, “I love you too.”
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Sorry if this is short btw im heading out around now, but here is some soft!shawn for you all😁
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