#flower note

[Before leaving off to class at an ungodly hour, Kurt took obsessive care in leaving a vase of tulips angled at just the right angle on Blaine’s dresser, and propped an envelope scrawled over with a large “READ ME" against the glass. He kissed his shoulder, smoothed back his hair, then kick-stumbled his boots on on his way out the door.]

Blaine,

I’m sorry about this week. I don’t want us to have that relationship of just sweeping things under rugs, and yet that was what I was going to do, admittedly, but you were right with what you said yesterday. There’s things we aren’t saying. My half is, I didn’t want to feel like your consolation prize. And I didn’t, until I very recently did. I’ll always want to be what you choose and what you need, and it kills me knowing there’s things in life that just can’t be changed to suit fantasies like that.

In the interests of honesty, I hate feeling powerless and I hate being denied control of something so important to me; Your well-being is important to me because you are important to me. Always were and always will be. As it goes, failure to maintain a submissive’s happiness is flaw on a Dominant’s part, not coming up to par on the job description, etc. etc. I’m working on reevaluating all of that because, obviously, general guidelines don’t really apply to the real world where variables shift and no one person is the same. You’re the person I choose to be with, so I mean to adapt. I shouldn’t try to fix you, you shouldn’t try to fix me, and we click together.

I hope you don’t hold my current lack of courage against me for too long, because… that would very frankly blow. Your hugs are drugs, and I’m addicted. And if you don’t, which would be very admirably gracious and forgiving of you, maybe we could stand to take a day out of every other week just to talk? No distractions, just you and me, and we can share how things are going for us as two separate people, and how things are going for us as partners in crime. We can figure something out.

I apologize for the drama of this. Said lack of courage just makes writing easier than speaking, and I may or may not be half asleep. So, in conclusion, I love you. And I know we’ll never touch perfect perfection, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Yours, Kurt.

As per usual, it took Blaine several minutes just to wrap his brain around the idea of being awake again. He stretched out under the covers, hands flailing when he realized he was alone in bed and he wasn't going to accidentally Kurt in the face. He blinked open his eyes, confused by the bright colors directly in his line of sight. The sub scrubbed a hand over his eyes, trying to make things clearer, before moving closer to the vase to examine the bright tulips. The flowers brought a smile to his face, which remained even as he opened the envelope.