#ucrpkurt

[Before leaving off to class at an ungodly hour, Kurt took obsessive care in leaving a vase of tulips angled at just the right angle on Blaine’s dresser, and propped an envelope scrawled over with a large “READ ME" against the glass. He kissed his shoulder, smoothed back his hair, then kick-stumbled his boots on on his way out the door.]

Blaine,

I’m sorry about this week. I don’t want us to have that relationship of just sweeping things under rugs, and yet that was what I was going to do, admittedly, but you were right with what you said yesterday. There’s things we aren’t saying. My half is, I didn’t want to feel like your consolation prize. And I didn’t, until I very recently did. I’ll always want to be what you choose and what you need, and it kills me knowing there’s things in life that just can’t be changed to suit fantasies like that.

In the interests of honesty, I hate feeling powerless and I hate being denied control of something so important to me; Your well-being is important to me because you are important to me. Always were and always will be. As it goes, failure to maintain a submissive’s happiness is flaw on a Dominant’s part, not coming up to par on the job description, etc. etc. I’m working on reevaluating all of that because, obviously, general guidelines don’t really apply to the real world where variables shift and no one person is the same. You’re the person I choose to be with, so I mean to adapt. I shouldn’t try to fix you, you shouldn’t try to fix me, and we click together.

I hope you don’t hold my current lack of courage against me for too long, because… that would very frankly blow. Your hugs are drugs, and I’m addicted. And if you don’t, which would be very admirably gracious and forgiving of you, maybe we could stand to take a day out of every other week just to talk? No distractions, just you and me, and we can share how things are going for us as two separate people, and how things are going for us as partners in crime. We can figure something out.

I apologize for the drama of this. Said lack of courage just makes writing easier than speaking, and I may or may not be half asleep. So, in conclusion, I love you. And I know we’ll never touch perfect perfection, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Yours, Kurt.

As per usual, it took Blaine several minutes just to wrap his brain around the idea of being awake again. He stretched out under the covers, hands flailing when he realized he was alone in bed and he wasn't going to accidentally Kurt in the face. He blinked open his eyes, confused by the bright colors directly in his line of sight. The sub scrubbed a hand over his eyes, trying to make things clearer, before moving closer to the vase to examine the bright tulips. The flowers brought a smile to his face, which remained even as he opened the envelope. 

Who knows? I stand by what I said before: Porcelain and Little Piano Man always wanted each other but its was never the right time. Then tragedy struck and Kurt dumped his Shutterbug for a taste of his what he always wanted because now Blaine wanted that too. You can’t deny that they’re cute and their similar career aspirations could make them a power couple in the future. 

The other side of the coin being that Colton still exists in the world and I think there's probably a lot unresolved with the sudden end to the relationship and Colton's equally sudden departure. Colton wanted Kurt from the moment he laid eyes on him. He was so in love, he was already offering him an amazing future- which was clearly too much for pressure/commitment for Porcelain. Do I think he should’ve walked away from that because it was a little scary to think that seriously so soon? No I don't he should've walked away. Did they fight a lot? Sure but a lot of couples fight, it comes down to how they talk things out. I’m sure Colton would have given Kurt the world if he had only asked.

Really in the end, it comes down to if they really love each other or if this is a case of a I told myself I wanted this so many times I’ve started to believe it.

I’ve heard those rumors as well. I think Colton- if he was planning on telling him he was coming in at all (which I’m not sure about given the whole fleeing-the-country-because-seeing-Kurt-was-too-painful thing)- would leave it up to Kurt if they’d even see each other.

I’m pretty positive that Colton would welcome Kurt back with open arms- but I’m also sure given how Kurt kinda left him for someone else/moved on to someone new so quickly, Colton loved Kurt more than he loved him so I doubt Kurt’s gonna go running back into his arms.

He’d never try to buy Blaine off, mostly because Colton is smart enough to know that doing that wouldn’t really solve anything. I’ve seen how much Colton loves Kurt and I think he’d want him to be happy. Doesn’t mean he probably doesn’t wish with every fiber of his being that Kurt would be happy with him.

Keep Kurt in your prayers- its probably not going to be an easy week for him- unless of course Colton doesn’t say a word to Kurt and he comes in, does whatever he came here to do and leaves again without saying anything.

He had words for the way his waking thoughts slowly formed, the way his eyes inevitably blinked over to focus on the lax freeness blanketed gently along Blaine’s features, and it definitely was enough to put several large cheese factories out of business. Disney movie-ish, romance novel-esque. Kurt slouched beside him and peeled the sheets back a fraction, skimming his fingers down the vague veins mapping out endless trails down his arms; His palm hovered and settled cautiously light over the plane of his stomach as his nose nudged searchingly at the sharp edge of Blaine’s jaw, and he brushed a fleeting press of his lips down where his neck smelled best. That man looked beautiful enough to hurt.

What woe it was to have to find his shoes and wander away, the odd metallic taste of the ball clicking against the back of his teeth all the while he pittered around, measuring out a pot of coffee to brew and returning to the apartment not ten minutes later with a muffin and a heart scribbled messily on the paper bag. He’d be late to work, but, well. Priorities. His eyes gave it all just one last look over, to roam from door to door and wall to wall, to chairs and the couch, the windows, and Blaine’s room, then gave a curt little nod in affirmation to some wordless question, and slipped away out the front door.]

Before he was truly awake, Blaine was aware of two things: the smell of coffee wafting through the air and the empty space beside him. He’d worked up alone more times in his life than with someone by his side, but it had been a heart-wrenching habit to have to break. Even though he wasn’t sure what time it was or where his limbs were or if he was even really awake, Blaine was positive that the body that was supposed to be beside him simply wasn’t. He forced his eyes open, not particularly thrilled to see that he’d been right. It took him a long moment to remember why Kurt had been in his apartment in the first place, and the first memory that flooded back was more of a feeling than a picture. He’d been held together by someone else’s arms, gently protected by a man with a metal barbell through his musical tongue.

With a groan, Blaine managed to sit up, the sheets pooling around his waist. He glanced at his clock - just thirty minutes into Kurt’s shift - before rolling out of bed, glad for his thin cotton sheets and AC in the humid New York summer. A glance to Gershwin’s bed showed him the dog was still asleep, clearly not interested in morning libations. The sub wandered into his kitchen, following the scent of exotic beans before a smile lit up his face. Sitting on the counter, next to the coffee machine, was a crumpled paper bag with a heart scribbled on it. Blaine grabbed a mug and filled it, sprinkling just a bit of cinnamon in before moving to the island to eat. He slowly ate his muffin, savoring it for both the flavor and the intention behind it.

Like I said Kurt is too reserved and Blaine is too wholesome- especially for there to be some full on make out session in public. I think they’re both still hurting over the loss of their loved ones more than they’ll admit so who knows how long it’ll take for them to do the horizontal mambo- I’m betting on a long fucking time.

I can agree with the Kurt being too hot for vanilla sex but Blaine’s daddy kink is only good if Kurt wants to be a Daddy.

It wasn't until after Colton was done packing everything away, that the situation really sunk in. Everything had happened so fast: his choice to move, his finding a place to fall in love with, signing everything over, the school letting him check out. Only needing one box for each area of his dorm- save for his clothes and camera equipment- it didn't long at all for even that. He knocked on the door and let Cory know he was leaving, and turning in his keys. He gave him a long hug goodbye and promised to think his offer over. Colton wasn't sure why he'd want to stay but he wouldn't ask.

As he gave the cabbie his new address, he felt his heart start to race and he so desperately wanted to call Kurt but that would be horrible of him to set that boundary and then cross it because he was anxious. So, instead he settled for the recording of Kurt singing for him and he was glad the cabbie was much more preoccupied with yelling at traffic then the softly crying boy in the backseat. He managed to pull himself together in time to pay the man and unload his things. The doorman was nice enough to agree to watch his things as he made a few trips up and down to get his stuff into his new home.

As soon as he shut the door, he marveled in how quiet it was. He supposed that's what he paid for...but when he shut his eyes, all he could here was the distant sound of traffic on the west side highway. It felt weird as he walked through the place. It didn't look like his place, not that there was anything that screamed not him...but having not picked out anything and having been here only hours ago when it was still someone else's, he knew it would take a little to really think of the place as his.