#flockstar

My notes on ITV's Flockstars, for a future Week.

Competitive sheep-herding. Done in a sandy arena, so we can't look at the countryside.

Format: A celeb guides a micro-flock (four sheep) around a course: turn them around, get them to cross a bridge, go round a bush, and into a pen. Time penalties for failing any of the elements.

Jim Rosenthal commentates. Time trial format, faster of two celebs wins the night. Show winners and two runners-up advance to later phases.

Catchphrase: "Release the sheep!"

The opening shows look set to have lots of talking, and less than 20% actual shepherding. Hope this improves later in the series.

Felt a bit like a computer game at times: dogs and sheep did pretty much what the celebs wanted them to do. Either that or B Cole and A Lamb were good.

Did they have to adopt northern accents so the dogs would understand them? (Insert points about television reflecting the whole country, not a metropolitan elite. Refback Fferm Ffactor.)

Lots of cute puppies, if that's your sort of thing.

"Professional" telly critics hate it, because it's easier to spill bile than to watch a show with an open mind. This unthinking herd can flock off.