#flirting gone wrong

Saitama: So, Genos … I’m curious. Just how big are you?

Genos: I am five feet ten inches, Sensei.

Saitama: No, no; I meant in bed ~

Genos: Ah.

Genos: I am five feet ten inches, but stretched out sideways, Sensei.

Ocean King- out May 15th

I was gonna tell you what my new fic was about, but a picture says more than a thousand words.

So yeah new seamista fic dropping on the 15th for this years @spopbigbang illustrated by the wonderfull @fangirldagdag stay tuned🪩🕺🍸🥃🌊

Original meme by shen_the_bird on X , I saw it years ago on tiktok and thus this idea was born

Sirius: “Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears.”

Remus: “That’s nice, but can you help me find my book? It’s right here.”

Sirius: “I meant... oh, never mind.”

Sirius: “I’d say you’re like a fine wine, but I’m more of a whiskey guy.”

Remus: “Fine, just don’t get too tipsy while you’re cooking.”

Sirius: “You’re missing the point here!”

Sirius: “If you were a dessert, you’d be a sweet tart.”

Remus: “I prefer chocolate. You can’t go wrong with chocolate.”

Sirius: “But I was trying to—ugh, you really are oblivious!”

Sirius: “Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?”

Remus: “I’m pretty sure you’ve walked by like five times already.”

Sirius: “I was hoping for a little more enthusiasm!”

Sirius: “You must be a parking ticket because you’ve got ‘fine’ written all over you.”

Remus: “That’s just the paperwork from the last time you parked in the wrong spot.”

Sirius: “It’s like talking to a brick wall!”

Sirius: “Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m terrible at poetry, but I’m great at loving you.”

Remus: “That’s sweet, but have you tried writing something that rhymes?”

Ragatha: *Smirks* Hmm, I don't know, when are you gonna ask me out?

Jax: 0.0

Time Skip

Pomni: so you just...ran away?!

Azul: The name's Azul Ashengrotto darling, but you...💕 You can call me ✨️Daddy✨️. 💖

Jamil: *visibly disgusted and trying to back away*

Azul: *wraps arm around Jamil and pulls him close* Unless, of course, you'd prefer to be called ✨️Daddy✨️... 💖

Jamil: *pulling out a knife to stab Azul*

Azul: *grabs Jamil's wrist and whispers in his ear* In which case you can call me... *gives him a kiss on the cheek* 💕Anytime💕.😘

Jamil: *stabs Azul*🩸🗡

He walked toward the classroom. A few minutes earlier, he had overheard the teacher say there would be a quiz today.

“Wonderful… If I fail this one too, I won’t be able to explain it to my family.”

He needed to find someone to cheat from. He paused at the door and threw a casual glance at the students inside. His eyes landed on the class nerd. Definitely a no. He would never let anyone copy. Cross him off. How about the class president?

“He’s on good terms with everyone, maybe he won’t mind…”

That optimistic thought vanished as soon as he remembered where the guy sat—way too far.

 He considered his best friend. He sat right behind him, in the last row. Easy access. But nope. Not smart enough. He walked to his seat with a growing sense of despair, mentally ranking everyone’s academic usefulness.

As he passed the second row, a girl caught his eye.

“Well-dressed, always attends class, grades aren’t bad…”

If only he could convince her…But they’d never really gotten along. She’d never agree to help.

Unless…

Unless his best friend, Aras, was involved. And everyone knew she was into Aras. For like, two years now.

“Then again, what girl isn’t into Aras?”

He was exaggerating. Sure, Aras was popular, but most girls were over him because of his indifferent attitude. But still… things were different when it came to Aras.

Everything was different.

That’s when the light bulb went off in his head. A perfect idea. He smiled and sat down. He turned to Aras.

“There’s a quiz today.”

Aras looked at him silently.

“I’ve got it covered,” he said, flashing a smug little grin.

“How?” Aras asked, curious and a little wary.

“You just have to back me up.”

“What are you planning?”

“Don’t you trust me?”

“No.”

Ouch. That was fast. He felt the need to explain.

“We’re going to use Melisa.”

Aras raised an eyebrow, arms crossed. Just then, the teacher entered the room. Conversation over. But before turning to face the front, he winked at Aras. He tore a page from his notebook and scribbled something random:

“Melisa, your haircut looks amazing. Where’d you get it done?”

He handed it to the guy in front. “Pass this to Melisa. Tell her Aras sent it.”

The message made its way forward. The last student passed it to the girl with a hint of confusion.

When it finally reached Melisa, she hesitated. Then looked back at Aras. Aras looked right back.

After she turned forward, he started rubbing his head like he was annoyed, he lightly punched the guy in front of him—not hard, just enough to get his attention.

“You’re messing around again,” he muttered, “but if this goes to shit, I’m making you pay for it.”

The teacher started roll call.

The response had already arrived. He pretended to pass it to Aras but sneakily read it himself first.

“Thank you! My cousin's a hairstylist, I can take you there if you want! =)”

He couldn’t stop grinning. What a naïve girl. Aras would never say something like that. But of course, Melisa didn’t know him well enough to notice. He glanced at her again. She had turned forward, rested her head on one hand, and was now twirling her hair. He nearly laughed out loud. He had to cover his mouth.

“I’d love to—if there’s a discount. =)”

He scribbled and passed the note again. The teacher had finished roll call and was signing some papers.

Another reply came:

“Don’t be silly! My cousin won’t charge you. You’re my friend, after all!”

“Sure,” he thought. “I bet your cousin gives all your friends free haircuts…”

Aras was poking him from behind. He turned and saw Aras giving him a thumbs-up, whispering:

“If you drag me into this, I swear you’re dead.”

Stupid Aras. If it were him, he’d totally use Melisa. Life at school was just one problem after another. The teacher’s voice interrupted his thoughts.

“We’ll be doing the quiz during second period.”

“Perfect timing,” he thought. He started writing:

“Teacher's doing a test. Did you stu…”

Before he could finish, another note arrived.

“Did you study for the quiz?”

He was surprised. He knew Melisa would help Aras if he asked, but this was even before that. For a second, he felt bad. Maybe he shouldn’t have used her like that? Then he thought about his parents. Two seconds later, the guilt was gone.

“Nope. You?”

He sent it off. Then turned to Aras.

“Quiz is handled. Start thinking about how you’ll thank me.”

Aras was spinning his pen. “We’ll see.”

A moment later, another note from Melisa arrived:

“I’ll write the answers on a tissue and pass it to you during the quiz!”

He grabbed the note and showed it to Aras. “Boom. Done!”

He had to cover his mouth to keep from laughing out loud. “At least say thank you to the girl…”

For a while, Aras stared at the note, then smacked the guy in front of him on the back of the head.

“Give me all the notes!”

“I threw them away!”

Aras grabbed his hair and pulled—nearly slammed the poor guy’s head into the desk.

“I said give them!”

“Alright, alright, don’t freak out!”

Aras started reading through all the notes. When he finished, he rubbed his forehead and let out a long sigh. Then he patted the guy’s shoulder.

“Good job,” he whispered.

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