#flamelance

Tana was torn, and she knew it. She’d grown sick and tired of being passed up for others and treated as some delicate girl to be protected, yet her intended great display of independence had ended with her captured, tossed in a cell and rescued. While more than a small part of her incredibly glad that Ephraim had in fact managed to rescue her, she was bitter - knowing that it was the kind of first impression it was almost impossible to recover from. Would he even think of her as being able to look after herself on the battlefield? Or was she going to have him lingering over her shoulder for the duration of the war?

“No! Ephraim, I came all this way so I could help you!” “And yet, here I am, helping you.” “Ah, well… Yes, that may be true, but–”

“Ugh.” She said to herself in disgust, shaking her head and pouting. She kicked at the floor, sending some detritus scattering across the floor of Fort Rigwald. She found herself caught in her words, and it made her scowl again.

“But you must promise me not to try anything reckless.”

She could practically hear the unsaid ‘like coming here’ that he could have followed that up with, but at least he hadn’t gone that far. She crossed her arms under her chest, leaning against the wall and letting out another light grumble as two fingers rubbed her temple. She could feel a headache coming on, but the last thing she could do was start complaining about it. Even the slightest show of weakness could cause him to send her home, then how would she be able to help?

“I can’t believe I got captured. How stupid was I?” She said eventually, grumbling to herself as she stepped away from the wall. To her own shock and embarrassment, she opened her eyes to see Ephraim in the same hallway, her cheeks coloring as she realized he’d almost certainly heard her. Gods, could she make a bigger fool of herself in front of him?

“…sorry.” She said, lamely. “I, uh, didn’t mean for anyone to hear me.”

    Well, it wasn’t a stray Gradoan soldier.

    Touted as Grado’s impenetrable citadel, Fort Rigwald was a labyrinth of defensive structures that housed valuables supplies. Ephraim had elected to linger for a few more hours, adding anything useful he could find to the army’s convoy.

    He had not anticipated to find Tana in a cell when they stormed the fort. And he didn’t expect to find her venting her frustrations up here, either.

    “Maybe try not to kick up a storm of dust and pebbles, then,” Ephraim said, forcing a smile. “I thought the enemy had returned.”

    Moving to the opposite wall from Tana, Ephraim leans back and stares at the stone. “It’s not stupid. You wanted to help. I know I’d never be able to resist wanting to help Eirika’s army if I knew she was going to a place like this.”

    It’s what happened with Castle Renvall, in any case. Though Ephraim chose to omit that he had also been apprehended by Grado, and was only able to escape because he had the support of his most trusted knights. Tana came alone. Relying on yourself was a dangerous recourse.

    He figured he had to tell her straight now, rather than later.

    Not here, though.

    “Come on, let’s get out of here,” Ephraim suggested. “Holing up in this dusty old fort won’t do you any favors.”

“It wasn’t a storm. More like a slight wind.” Tana let out a small laugh at his forced joke, shaking her head again. She paused, listening to his words and letting out a quiet mumble of agreement. Of course Ephraim could agree with the intent - but the difference was, he likely wouldn’t have been captured. He’d have shown up and saved the day, just like he had done with her, and the fact she was reduced to just sitting around waiting to be save was incredibly frustrating

She hadn’t even participated in the battle after being freed. She’d recovered Achaeus and her heavy spear, and by the time she’d gotten suited up for combat they had already finished. So the only impression she had made today was being a foolish flighty girl who was captured and couldn’t even help after being freed.

“Yeah. Let’s.” Tana was still dejected, her normal energy gone in the face of how magnificently her foolish flight of fancy had blown up in her face. She headed away from the wall, following Ephraim wherever he intended to guide her with a defeated look in her face. She reached out, pausing when her hand was near his and pulling it back with a grumble. No, she didn’t need to hold his hand, that much was too much. She’d already made a poor enough impression without needing comforted like a little girl.

“So…where’s the army heading next?”

    “I need to speak with General Duessel,” Ephraim answered, his pace quickening. Every step into Grado territory posed new questions that he couldn’t answer. War with a country he considered their long-standing ally was baffling enough, but knowing that his friends and mentors were part of that same country made it all the more inexplicable.

    He and Eirika had enough on their plate. He didn’t want to pull Tana into this. Innes had experience leading an army, but his sister couldn’t be much more than a knight-in-training.

    Ephraim bit back his tongue. If Eirika were here, she’d know what to say, how to assuage Tana’s concerns. What should he do with her? He had enough to worry about with the war with Grado. They had to make it to Duessel with all haste.

    After some time walking in silence, Ephraim spoke, his back still to her. “You’re coming with us. We can’t afford to send you back to Frelia with an escort. So the best way to keep you safe is for you to join us.”

“The only reason I’d need an escort to return home is because they’d need to make sure I actually did it.” Tana contested hotly, the same competitive anger that Innes displayed so often flaring in her for a brief second. Most people were shocked at how different the two siblings were, but sometimes…sometimes Tana wondered if the only difference was she had a better grip on her emotions than him.

“Thank you.” She said grudgingly, wanting to apologize for a brief second - but refusing to. After a moment she broke from him in silence, letting out a weary sigh once they were out of sight of each other. Gods be good, but he could be infuriating.

   By morning of the next day the army had marched out, approaching where their scouts had reported to have seen Duessel. A town by the sea, sitting at the edge of a narrow peninsula. There was only one way in for those who could not fly over.

   “Our pegasi will be vital to this mission,” Ephraim informed Tana, when he came around to brief the army. “The objective is to ensure the general’s safety.” He looked her in the eyes. If you’re going to prove yourself, now’s the time.

   “If you came to help our army, then you’ll have the responsibilities expected of any other soldier. Are you up for this?”

Hope had flared in Tana’s chest even before he said the words, the princess telling what would be needed to seize the town immediately. The only other pegasi rider in the force was Vanessa, and even with such a small town as the prize it was simply too much for one person. She had a chance, now, and she could tell by the look in Ephraim’s eyes that he knew it too. She could redeem herself for her stupid mistake at Renvall, and prove that she wasn’t useless.

“I can do it.” She said, quietly at first before nodding seriously. She wouldn’t make a fool of herself this time. “What’s the plan?”

    “The van rides towards Duessel at once,” Ephraim explained. “For whatever reason the Grado army is fighting itself. We stand with him until we know what’s going on.”

    He pointed towards a route by the cliffs heading over the sea. The town is spread out horizontally from their perspective, and Ephraim can see signs of fortifications being built. If they were united in their efforts of waylaying his army, they would not meet him in the town where they landed.

    “You and Vanessa can reinforce Duessel the fastest, from the other end of the town. When the vanguard reaches the gates, we rejoin our forces and rout the remaining Gradoan soldiers.”

    A simple plan, trusting in the execution. Complicated strategies never appealed to Ephraim, since circumstances changed by the second in the heat of a battle. A commander should know when to adapt the strategy, rather than devise one to cover every situation.

    “We hit hard when they’re still disjointed.” Ephraim gives her a nod, and begins to walk away, towards the cavalry. “Give it your all.”

“We can fly over the walls, skirt low to the ground so they don’t see us.” Tana said quietly as he went over the map, nodding carefully. “And then we…hey, wait!”

He had begun to walk away as soon as his end of the briefing was over, not even pausing to give her a chance to provide her own input. For a second she wanted to reach over and grab his arm, forcibly drag him back, but then she realized that what she had to say wasn’t really that important. It would be acting like a child, demanding attention from him, not really contributing or proving her place. That was what her actions would do.

“Well, I guess we hope Duessel doesn’t try to stab us when we get there.” She told Vanessa, a small laugh coming from the other woman as they mounted. Tana gave Ephraim one last brief glance, a small scowl crossing her face before she shrugged and kicked her heels into Achaeus, taking off and heading to do their duty.

“…well?"

Tana’s voice was a little shaky now that the battle was over. Her endurance was still lacking, and she had to lean against the wall now that her adrenaline had run out. She’d had a few moments to clean in the sea, wiping the worst of the blood from her hands, and had been fortunate enough to avoid injury - but she still felt faint. She had to at least try and put on a brave front, forcing herself away from the wall and standing in front of Ephraim with a smile that seemed to be challenging him to talk down to her.

She tried not to think about the fact that she had never killed someone before today.

"How did I do?”

    The Grado army fought bravely. Each soldier brandished a dutiful conviction, even with their forces pinned and their backs against the sea. And so the question remained.

    What reason could they have to so boldly commit to war?

    With the vessel that would take them to the mainland still hours away, Ephraim could afford a moment to think, pondering that riddle. But Tana soon found him leaning over a wall overlooking the cape, her expression eager and hopeful.

    “You…” He thinks back to the battle. Duessel had barged onto the enemies’ flank with a couple of pegasus riders in tow. Ephraim had seen a flash of blue darting in and out of the fray when there were openings. For such a chaotic battle, Tana didn’t seem drained.

     Does she feel the same energy that wells up in me when I fight?

    “You fought well.” It wasn’t his most sincere smile, and he hadn’t the heart to put more feeling behind it, but it was the truth. She did acquit herself on the field. (A quick talk with Vanessa soon after the battle had already dispelled most of his worry.)

    “Like I said, it was important that we reached Duessel before Grado could surround him. You and Vanessa carried the day,” Ephraim continued. He turned from his ocean-watching vigil, meeting her gaze. A face naive to the vagaries of war, but willful all the same.

    “It can be hard,” Ephraim said, head turning back to the sea, “to commit on the very first day. To take a life for yourself.”

Strange. Tana thought to herself, a slight frown crossing her face. That doesn’t feel right…

She’d have thought that a compliment from Ephraim would have made her giddy, or at least satisfied. It wasn’t even the tone of the delivery, either, as even though she could tell that his heart wasn’t completely in it she should have still gotten something from it. Eventually she sighed, closing her eyes and realizing the truth of the matter - she didn’t want complimented for fighting well. For killing people. At least he seemed to recognize that, and she took some cautious steps forwards to fall into line next to him as he turned back to the sea.

"Thank you.” She said eventually, turning her head slightly to look at him. “…it wasn’t even that hard. To kill someone, I mean.”

She paused, flinching for a second. “You just…move your lance forwards, and then they stop breathing. It’s not - I don’t know, Ephraim. It’s not right. Something like that, it shouldn’t be so easy. I guess it kind of…put some things into perspective for me. If it’s so easy to do, then it’d be easy to…you know…”

Get killed.

“…I’m worried about Eirika, and Innes too. Do you think they’re going to be okay? Wherever they’ve ended up?”

    “I look up to the stars every night and hope they’re looking out for Eirika,” Ephraim muttered. “Since I can’t.”

    Imploring the divine wasn’t part of Ephraim’s code, but he’d sacrifice to every temple in Renais for Eirika’s sake. It didn’t matter if they encountered disaster on their way to Grado, if Ephraim couldn’t seek out Lyon to explain this war. As long as Eirika - and the stone in Rausten she was traveling to protect - would stay safe, he didn’t need to ask for more.

    “She’s a capable woman. I taught her everything I know, after all,” Ephraim continued with a faint smirk. “And your brother is no slouch either. He was always better with tactics, giving people directions. Frelia is blessed that he’s leading them.”

    Tana always reminded him of a flower field after morning rains, or the wind running past his face during an evening ride. It felt wrong to see that tranquility shattered by violence, those flowers spattered with blood. Hearing her speak with such nonchalance made him uneasy.

    Her own composure must’ve worried her, too.

    “Can I see your hands, Tana? I want to check something.”

    When she lifted them up to him Ephraim gently held her fingers, keeping his hands still. And waited.

    “They’re shaking,” Ephraim observed. “That’s good. It means your heart is still warm, and your blood hasn’t run cold. The world needs more people like you.”

“…that’s true. They are.” Tana said after a few moments as he reassured her, closing her eyes and letting out a slight breath. Eirika and Ephraim were both adults, and more than capable of looking after themselves. She let out a small chuckle as he admitted that Innes was the better at something, even if he was several hundred miles away at the time.

“I’m going to tell him you said that. It may give him a seizure.” She joked, although it was weak and pointless. He asked for her hands and she slowly raised them, letting him take fingers in his own and eyes flickering up to his. What was he looking for?

She closed her eyes and let out a long sigh, shoulders slumping. “Oh, Ephraim - I hated it. I thought it was going to be easy, but - not that easy. I came to help you, but what if they were only there to help someone too? I can’t…”

She shrugged helplessly, starting to feel tears coming to her eyes. “Why would Grado start something this senseless? I thought it was bad before, but now - I don’t know. Nothing seems fair. I just wanted to make sure everyone was safe and help protect them, I didn’t think I would have to kill anyone. Augh, that sounds so stupid when you say it out loud.”

She snatched her hands away, angry with herself now. “What was I expecting to have to do when I caught up with you?”

    Can you even have expectations with something as capricious as war?

    Ephraim remembered the anguish on Orson’s face. How he forced a smile in the presence of that wretch, Valter, even as he turned upon him and sold away his knightly virtue for whatever dark promises Grado had made.

    The experience might have dismayed unproven blood. But for Ephraim, whose reality had been anchored by each fight he took during his training, acceptance of the worst came easy. Tana didn’t deserve to relearn the world in this way. But she picked up that responsibility the day she picked up a lance.

    “You were willing to fight. Fighting to help us, but in the end it’s still war.”

    Ephraim wasn’t sure how to handle her distress. From the way she spoke of Innes, she was tired of others coddling her. But it wasn’t the time to be soft with Tana, either.

    “I want to get to the bottom of this, too. It’s that hope of reaching Lyon, and finding an answer, maybe even putting an end to this war, that keeps me going. We’ve already saved General Duessel. We can take some solace in that.”

    Words that satisfied their cause, but not a heavy heart.

    “You wanted to face this with me. Just as your brother is with Eirika.” He smiled for her. It was the least he could do. “And I’m glad for that.”

“I suppose so.” Tana said eventually at his words. She was starting to regret pulling her hands away from his, missing the warmth and comfort that they had been bringing to her. But to try and take them back now would send the kind of signals that Tana wasn’t prepared to send right now, so instead she kept them awkwardly in front of her thighs, letting out a small sigh and looking away. She glanced up at the mention of Lyon, the Prince of Grado - wasn’t it strange? That he would always meet with Renais’ royals, but never those of other nations, not willingly. She’d only seen him in passing, but even then she’d seen the person that Eirika and Ephraim would talk about on occasion.

Maybe he could give them an answer and help put a stop to the war. She gave him a slight smile, hands twitching and wanting to go clasp his in a show of solidarity, and ultimately she decided to let it despite having rejected the idea moments before. She gave Ephraim’s hand a slight squeeze, her smile more confident now as she took a deep breath.

“I’m glad I came as well.” She said eventually, nodding. “I hope you’re right about Lyon, Ephraim. About finding a way to end this quicker than it would otherwise.”

    Her hand coming down onto his felt like a drop of rain falling onto a puddle. It didn’t change much, but ir did feel right. Listening to Tana’s concerns had opened his awareness. War wasn’t just a heavy burden for those waging it. It weighed down more and more people as it spread, to the point where it could be unbearable for even the world to shoulder.

    “I know Lyon,” he echoed. “He’s the last person you’d think would ever support a war. He’ll speak with me. We can sort this out - I trust in him.”

    Ephraim let their hands sit together for a few moments. He’d always seen Tana as someone who wouldn’t mix well with fighting and conflict. But perhaps the visceral reactions from those with the most innocence in their hearts that shed the most light on human nature.

    He drops his hand, turning his head. The sails of a blue-sailed ship appear on the water, making their way to the harbor. A Frelian ship that would bring them to Grado. Ephraim looks back at Tana, nodding.