#flamecaster

Evan brings up Destin at least once a chapter and is just constantly like, "I wish Destin were here. Destin would laugh at my jokes. Destin would know how to sail my pride and joy boat that I named after him without ever telling him. Destin so cool. I wonder if I can get away with writing more love letters to Destin.

And that was not only traumatic to Ash, it was traumatic as hell for me too. I didn't give af about jenna and her childhood crush. I WAS MOURNING! And then I continued to mourn for the rest of Flamecaster-- which made the entire reading experience terrible.

Then by Dreamcaster, I was still mourning. Han--but in a different way bc Lyss' grief felt more respectful to Han in some ways-- and CAT BC SHE APPARENTLY DIED TOO??? And I was also disturbed by the Raimon 'hints' (I believe it's mostly Lyss' own paranoia about her mom moving on, but still DISTURBING)

By Stormcaster the grief about Han was settling down, but then I got angry bc it finally hit me that Raisa and Han (THE WHOLE REASON THAT I READ ALL FOUR BOOKS BC OF) would never get a happy ending together. History repeats itself, just like with hanalea and alger, which is terrible since Raisa stuck it to her family at the end of Crimson Crown about how she was LEARNING FROM THE PAST! and there were more references to raisa moving on and spending the rest of her life with someone else and that made angry too, bc she's a half of my otp! idc if he died, idc if it's healthy and realistic to move on, THEY HAD JUST GOTTEN MARRIED!

And finally, by the time Lyss and Ash finally reunited with Han, and it was confirmed that Raisa and Han were meeting up in the amulet and would continue to do so, DEATHCASTER WAS OVER! oh, and don't get me started on magret, bc by that point i was too emotionally numb to grieve over her.