#flackers

Flackers: an awful ‘food’

I am currently on a diet which requires me to eat no carbs. I’m not sticking to it because that would be crazy, but in an attempt to be good, I have begun searching out “healthy substitutes” to things I love which are on my no-no list. There is a lie people tell that weight loss can be easy and you just have to find substitutions that have the magical properties of being delicious and good for…

After waiting ages she arrived, Jess saw her first and went right up to her and hugged her and then I hugged her and said hi. She came over and was chatting to us, the usual, like we were all mates.

Things I remember:

-The girl who latched onto us asking if she was going back to XF and Caz being like ‘Oh my god’

-This guy going ‘I know your face but I don’t know who you are’ and her going ‘You have to guess or else you can’t talk to me’ in a jokey way and him realising and asking for a pic and her going ‘Eh let me just get them with these girls first’

-Jess giving her a present ‘It’s to do with your detox’ ‘Is it spinach?’

-Her realising Loz was filming her and making faces and doing a little dance

-When I was getting selfies she went ‘It’ll be better than the blonde one you have with me’ and me being confused and her going ‘I do know who you are!’ which I nearly died at. She took so many pics and there’s only like one decent one but hey I don’t mind.

-She dropped her phone and I picked it up and went to hand it back and went ‘I so want to steal this right now but I won’t’ and she laughed and went ‘There’s nothing on it except this’ and showed us her lockscreen of her and Waffle. ‘I can’t believe that’s your lockscreen’ ‘I know, sad isn’t it?’

-Some Love Island chatter

-Us mentioning the Olly tweets but her not saying much more than how could they think they didn’t talk or something to that affect.

-‘You look really pretty’ ‘I’ve just been to the gym, I don’t feel it’ ‘You’re always at the gym’ ‘I know, I’ve changed’

-Loz and Jess pointing out their Flacky outfits and me asking where her skirt was from and me proceeding to read the name on the button before realising I was staring at her crotch. She kept saying she got everything off Asos. And when Jess pointed out the dungarees she was wearing Caz pulled them out of her bag and went ‘I know! These ones, look!’  

-Her asking what we were doing that day and us just going ‘Seeing you!’. I mentioned I was meant to be seeing my family and was late cos I was seeing her but not sure she heard that, that or I can’t remember the reply.

-When she opened the present Jess and Loz got her(A water bottle which said ‘I Uber to the Gym’) she loved it and she said she’d been meaning to get one for a while. She was left holding that and the card when she was getting selfies so I just took them off her and put them in this shopping bag she was carrying like I was her fucking assistant haha.

-Her going ‘I’ll come out really wet later’ and me nearly dying

-Us mentioning that All Saints were there and her being all pleased and me saying ‘You’re mates right?’ and her going ‘Yeah, with Nat’ I think 

-Telling us how her Uber driver wanted her to whistle a whole song

-Saying she needed to get glasses and me going ‘Yeah glasses group!’ and doing a little fistbump in the air and her being like ‘Yeah!’

-Best hugs

-I kept touching her suede jacket by accident and I swear I may have also accidentally touched her hair. She so pretty, guh.

Met Caz at her signing today and I was SO nervous but she was SO LOVELY.

I was telling her about I only know one of my best mates because of her and Olly and she was making his pouty sad feels face(that makes sense). I told her I was down at X and me and Lauren were shouting for her and Olly and we were only there for them, she said they were really nervous. I said that we met Olly and that how she thinks everyone wants her to get Olly and I ask Olly to get her and I kinda told her off for not coming out and she was like ‘You should shout for me’ and I was like ‘I do!’ 

I told her I won 600 pounds cos she won Strictly and she was like ‘Oh my god no way’ *turns to her people* ‘She won 600 pounds cos I won Strictly’ and then she was like ‘And no one thought I was going to win it’, said I was at Strictly when she did the quickstep and she went ‘I was awful at the quickstep’. I told she wasn’t and I mentioned I liked the jive and salsa ‘the fast ones’. 

I was saying how I had met her before with Jo  and her mum and she went ‘Wait I think I do remember you, were you the one who knew who Jo was and Jo was like ‘What?’ ‘Yeah that was me!’ 

I asked if she was feeling better cos she had the flu and she went ‘I think it was just a cold’ 

I said I’d read the book already and rambled on about how I’d bribed work to let me read it and she asked what my favourite bit was and I said ‘All the Olly bits’ and she went ‘Oh of course’ or something like that and I mentioned a line I love to do with the Roxie role and Jack and she went ‘No one’s picked up on that!’ 

At one point she went ‘I love that you call me Caz’ and I went ‘Oh well Olly calls you Caz and I call you two what you call each other, so I call you Caz and Ols’ 

She stood up and I asked for a hug and she gave me a really nice hug and told me I smelt nice and I said she smelt nice and that I told Olly that the first time I’d met him.

We got selfies, I asked her to take them cos ‘You’re good at selfies’ and she went ‘It’s cos I have really long arms’ and then she went ‘Am I doing this right?’ and the last pic she went ‘I look weird but you look nice’ and she said it was lovely to meet me and yep that was about it. In my book she wrote ‘Laura! Lovely to meet you AGAIN, Love Caroline’ and I got one for my mum and she wrote ‘Suzanne!! You have an amazing daughter. Love Caroline’ which made me weep(I didn’t read it until I left the shop). 

New Video has been published on http://virtualchef.us/flax-crackers-or-flackers-paleo-wanna-be-grain-gluten-free-recipes/