#fiveya week

hi all! with fandom coming back, i thought it would be appropriate to host fiveya week once more. except last year it was around the end of august and i want to give people more time to work on their stories/art if they want to participate so this year it’ll be on november. 

https://forms.gle/3sMoaP1nG5oWh42Q8 to get an idea of what dates work best for people, please fill out the form if you’re interested. you can also suggest themes/prompts!

Link to Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27396187

@fivevanya

Title: Little Do You Know, I’m Still Haunted By The Memories

She’d done it again. 

For a third time. 

Caused the apocalypse, or nearly did.

She was the reason Five spent nearly his entire life in the Apocalypse. She was the reason they had to flee to fucking Dallas, in the 60’s. She is the reason Ben died, and is replaced with this Other Ben. And she was the reason they came back, only to be kicked out of their own house.

Vanya honestly wished sometimes, that she could go back. To that blissfully oblivious month. When she believed she could live a normal life with Sissy and Harlan. Back when she didn’t have to deal with her family, or memories, or powers.

After they’d returned to 2019, being kicked out of their (former apparently) childhood home soon after, they splintered apart, again.

Allison made her way to Los Angeles, hoping Claire was still waiting for her; bringing Luther with her.

Diego similarly left, mentioning something about a friend of his and finding Lila. Klaus solemnly following behind him, wallowing in the loss of Ben. Their Ben. Because of Her.

While Five had stayed back, discussing something with their father, likely about not screwing up this timeline. About Her not ruining another timeline.

After everyone else splintered off, going their separate ways, again, Vanya alone, again. And somehow it hurt more being alone, being abandoned, forgotten, ignored, isolated, again. 

Perhaps, it is because, this time, it made sense. 

Because this time, she had done several things that likely caused her siblings to leave her. Namely, causing the apocalypse, for a second and third time, almost killing Allison, and actually killing Ben. Just to name a few.

Vanya silently wished she could return to The Academy, if only to use the basement. The bunker. The cell. Her prison. To lock herself away, like their father had, like Luther had, because, they were right. She was, is a monster. A bomb. A ticking time clock. The apocalypse.

She deserved to be locked up. Locked away. Kept away from everyone. From Allison. From Ben. Klaus. Diego. Luther. From Five.

She is a monster, and always will be.

She was destined to either end the world. Or, be killed, like a wild animal, by the people she grew up with.

She was never meant to be ordinary. She was never meant to be extraordinary. She never should have been born. Never been given the chance to live. To hurt. To kill. 

An itch had spread, from her wrist, up her arms, across her chest, around her neck, and down her back. Spreading all around. Infecting everywhere. Ruining everything.

Like she did.

Everything felt wrong.

It felt like Vanya didn’t belong in her own skin. In this body, despite it being her own. Or, at least she thought so. There was another thing. Another being. Personality. Alter ego. Living, residing inside her. One that had a thirst for blood, pain, revenge, murder. A constant voice in the back of her mind, telling her, pleading with her, begging her, to be freed. To hurt. To kill.

And for a while, Vanya had been able to silence the voice. For a month. In Dallas. She, It, was gone. And Vanya hadn’t noticed, until It came back. Bringing memories she’d rather have forgotten forever with It. Haunting her. Taunting her. Torturing her.

From the moment they touched down back in 2019, It was stronger than Vanya could ever remember. 

Whispering to her all the reasons that Diego hated her, wishing she was dead. Every secret moment they’d shared forever tainted by the blood she’d ever spilt, the invisible wounds she tore open and sold to the world, for a second of no longer being a nobody.

Taunting her with the memory of Luther rightfully squeezing the air from her lungs, when he should have waited for her heart to stop. As much as it burned, and hurt, at the moment, feeling as if the life was draining from her body, there had never been as much bliss that Vanya felt in her entire life than when she thought that the pain would stop. For good.

Reminding her as she looked at Other Ben, that it was her fault. It was always her fault. Every time. Because she wasn’t enough. She was never enough.

Ceaselessly filling her mind with images of accidentally slashing Allison’s throat, watching her sister bleed out on the floor, every time she glanced at her sister. Memories of hearing Allison and Klaus talking, and laughing, without her, as they did each other’s hair and nails. Bonding. Not needing, or wanting, their stupid ordinary sister hanging around. Never wanting her to be around. And still don’t.

Reliving every single time she had thought about how lucky Klaus was to have powers, ignoring all his complaints about the terrors that filled every waking moment and that clawed their ways into his dreams, because he had powers. He should be grateful to not be ordinary like she’d been. But, he didn’t end the world twice. Or kill his siblings.

Telling her that she was the reason Five was still in a teenage body. The reason that he suffered, for 45 years. Alone. Forced to join Them. Because of Her.

Hissing for her to stop Reginald’s heart again. To finally get revenge. For the imprisonment. The pills. The lies. The loneliness. The exile. The pain. The suffering. The hatred. The self-hatred.

But she couldn’t and never would.

For she was too much of a coward. Of a weakling. Too desperate for the attention. Or affection. The acknowledgment. To do anything to ruin it. But she already had.

She always did.

Always ruining everything. Because she never fit in. Never belonged. Not with Hargreeves. Not with her mother. Not with Leon- Harold, or with Sissy. Nowhere, with no one. Never had. Once had. Never will. Not again. As she was never meant to exist.

There was rain. Practically pouring around her.

She hadn’t noticed.

Too wrapped up in her own shit again to realize there was a world outside of her mind. Being selfish and self-centered again. Typical Vanya. Typical Number Seven. She hadn’t noticed the sky’s shift from partly sunny to being dark, cold rain pouring down. There was a reason she’d been given the lowest number. And it was very simple, she was the worst, at everything. 

She should probably move, stop sitting on the bench she hadn’t felt herself sit at in the first place, move somewhere dry, and safe. She didn’t deserve to be safe, not after what she’s done. What she could do. Maybe, if she sits in the freezing rain for long enough, sitting in her thoroughly soaked and now cold clothes, she will simply, die. As she’s meant to. Or, perhaps God, the little girl in the sky, will strike her down where she sits. Putting everyone out of their misery by removing her from existence.

She’s too much of a coward to do it herself.

She’s tried.

She’s tired. Too tired.

“Vanya?” Who was that? She felt like she’s supposed to remember this voice. “What the fuck are you doing? Are you an idiot?” The voice, attached to a boy. Five. Except, he wasn’t a boy. He looked older. Older than she could ever remember. He was pulling her from the bench, and in a flash, a flash of blue, she, they, were out of the rain. In some building. There was no one with them, only boxes. It was kind of dark. There were fingers in front of her face. Snapping. They were Five’s. “Vanya? You with me?”

Vanya nodded.

“What’s going on with you? I looked for you everywhere.” Five, he didn’t sound upset, or angry, like Vanya expected. He just sounded, “Are you okay?” concerned.

Vanya nodded. Again. Adding, “I’m fine. Sorry.”

He gave her a look. It wasn’t one she liked. But, it wasn’t a mean one either. Not like the one Five from the Brain Dinner had. “What are you sorry for? Just don’t wander off without me next time.”

“I’m sorry.” Vanya said, head dropping, eyes trained on the floor, feeling like she did every time she disappointed anyone, but especially their father, filled with shame, “Sorry for everything.”

There was silence. Vanya hated the silence, more that she hated It. The silence, left her alone with It.

“Vanya?” Five. There was a hand on her wrist, rain wasn’t hitting the metal roof anymore. “It’s okay.”

“How can it be okay? I did, horrible things.” Vanya asked, wishing she had the strength to pulled her wrist from Five’s grasp. But she simply didn’t.

Five took a hold of her other wrist. “If it makes anything better, I forgive you.” Her eyes met his. “I never blamed you, but I still forgive you.” Vanya gave him a weak smile, his forgiveness easing the weight on her chest and quieted Its voice for a bit. Five’s hands slid from her wrists to her shoulders, “Vanya.”

“Five.”

“There’s something very important that I need to tell you Vanya.” Five said, waiting for some confirmation from her, and when Vanya gave him a shy nod, Five told her. “I love you Vanya Hargreeves.”

Vanya knew that her face was completely flushed, feeling the heat spreading across her skin. Needless to say, that hadn’t been what she’d expected him to say. But, regardless, she told him that, “I love you too, Five Hargreeves.”

moodboard for my day 5 of fiveya week, guilt

Day 1.: Memories Light the Corners of My Mind - Prompt: Memories- 1.11.2020, What If? Series

Day 2.: Our Day Will Come - Prompt: Dancing/Training - 2.11.2020, What If? Series

Day 3.: Childhood’s Ends - Prompt: Childhood- 3.11.2020, What If? Series

Day 4.: Another Me and Another You - Prompt: Sparrow Academy - 4.11.2020, What If? Series

Day 5.: The Taste of Guilt - Prompt: Guilt - 5.11.2020, What If? Series

Day 6.: Let’s Pick Up Where We Left Off – Prompt: Endings/Beginnings - 6.11.2020, What If? Series

Day 7.: Wrong Number - Prompt: Free Choice - 7.11.2020, You could have loved me forever. And maybe in another universe, I let you Series

Coffee shop au for fiveya week-- Will be unloaded on AO3 once I finish editing a Zombie AU from yesterday. But here is my short offering for: 

Day 2- No Powers

Vanya’s mornings start with the abrasive coffee shop owner. Not that she’s too perturbed by his behavior. Convenience won out over morning pleasantries. And Vanya was more than willing to make do with what she got. 

For @fivevanya‘s Fiveya Week 

Link to Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27344002

@fivevanya

Title: A Life With Love, Is A Life That’s Been Lived

There was a second, waiting with bated breath, that Five had sincerely hoped that Vanya would be able to shatter the wine glass. Just like Reginald had tried to get her to when they were four. He waited, hoped, and nothing.

Vanya dropped her stance, slumping down a bit in defeat, obviously dejected. They’d been working on her training for nearly two hours, with very little results. There had been a few early successes, five glasses were nicely shattered, seven had been cracked beyond usage but not shattered, and the remaining five glasses, all of which had been ‘borrowed’ from the bar, remained in perfect condition. 

Five knew that, if he really wanted to, he could push Vanya to keep practicing, to either shatter or crack another wine glass. He could, and she’d listen. But, that sounded like something Reginald would do, and that was the absolute last thing that Five wanted to do. Emulate Reginald in any possible way, but especially not when he was with Vanya. 

Rather than continue on training, and when Five noticed the saddened look on Vanya’s face, knowing that she was blaming herself for not being able to magically have perfect control of her powers in an instant, despite how convenient it would be if she did, he instead decided that he was going to get her to stop being upset and be happy, well, happier.

Trying to think of ways he could accomplish his goal, preferably without causing too much noise or using his powers, considering that Reginald still didn’t know that they knew about Vanya’s powers, along with all the manipulation and lies he’d spread to the rest of them to keep her from finding out, Five figured it was best to be as discrete as possible. The only way they’d been able to be in the training room, practicing Vanya’s powers in the first place was because someone, who will remain unnamed, accidentally took out the camera that had been set up and Reginald hadn’t been able to get it fixed. (A few missing parts and tools helped with slowing the process)

Then, it hit him. The perfect idea.

“I’ll be right back.” Five told Vanya, waiting for her to give him a short, still sad, nod before jumping into Luther’s room. Unsurprisingly, he found Luther and Allison sitting together on Luther’s bed, awfully close for people who still denied being in a relationship. Children. “I need to borrow your record player Luther.” Five said, one hand already on the device, the other pulling one of the few classical records that were a part of the collection Luther had, one that Vanya had mentioned as one of her favorites. (Not forgetting that she’d enjoyed listening to it, despite Luther only playing it once as ‘He’ (Allison) had claimed he didn’t like classical music that much.

Before Luther, or Allison, could protest Five, and Vanya, borrowing his record player, Five jumped back into the training room, finding Vanya picking up some of the bigger shards of glass from the wine glasses, most of which were already in the bin Five had been storing them in after taking them from the bar. But, when he landed Vanya quickly, and carefully, stopped picking up glass shards and looked over at him, thankfully already in a slightly improved mood since he’d left for a mere minute at most.

“Five,” Vanya said, “why do you have Luther’s record player? Are we gonna use it for more training?”

There was a mixed look of sadness and interest on Vanya’s face, while Five shook his head telling her, “Nope. We’re gonna take a break from training for a bit.” 

“Then, why bring the record player?” Vanya asked him.

Five, rather than immediately answering her, not ignoring Vanya’s question, he plugged the record player in, after settling it on a box that did not hold glass shards near the sole outlets in the training room, and carefully set the record onto the player and dropped the needle before jumping to Vanya’s side.

And, rather than being a bit startled like anyone else would’ve been, she gave him a small, excited smile before it practically dissolved in front of him, before she asked, “What are we doing then Five?”

Again, rather than immediately answering her, again not ignoring Vanya’s question, Five instead took a hold of one of Vanya’s hands and guided it to his shoulder, taking a hold of Vanya’s other hand while his first hand settled, carefully, onto her waist.  

At first, Vanya has been tense, unsure of what he’d planned; but as quickly as she’d tensed, Vanya relaxed in his hold, a playful smile on her face met the smirk on his. “Do you trust me?” Five asked, even though he knew her answer before the nod and soft ‘yes’ spilled from her lips, emboldening the smirk on his face ever so slightly more as he told her, “Just follow my lead.”

Five, as the one with more formal ballroom dance training, because that was something they needed to learn, took the lead while Vanya, who knew more than Five had suspected, and would definitely ask about later, simply followed. While they dance, Five, not that he’d’ve told Vanya, could feel her pounding heartbeat in the palm of her hand, and also felt it slow, until he could no longer feel it quite as easily, just as Vanya rested her head on his chest. Never had Five been so pleased to be in a child’s, although now they were roughly seventeen, body, relishing in the whole three inches he’d gained on Vanya. 

As much as he wished they could stay like that forever, silently swaying together to the music, not really dancing anymore; they both knew they’d have to return to reality, and the forevermore eternal hell of living under Reginald’s roof, again. And the telltale sound of a clicking cane, indicated that Pogo was nearing the training room, and, in turn, causing to Vanya quickly pulling away from him with a look of panic.

In yet another quick decision, Five took a hold of Vanya’s hands and jumped them both up to his bedroom, abandoning the record player which was going to most definitely get Luther into trouble if Reginald found it, but Pogo hopefully wouldn’t say anything about it. 

Upon landing in his bedroom, Vanya, who was not nearly as used to spatial jumping as Five was, nearly toppled over; and would have if Five hadn’t still had a hold on her hands, keeping her steady. “Are you okay?” Five asked, having waited a moment as Vanya regained her balance, who gave him a quick nod.

Just as Five was about to ask Vanya about their next training session, she perked up mere seconds before the bell Grace used to call them for meals rang out, giving them a five minute warning. Vanya, seemingly suddenly, regained a newfound confidence; one Five didn’t see often, but loved seeing. There was a look in her eyes, one that Five very much liked, as it often led to something he’d wanted to do with Vanya for nearly fifty years.

Vanya pushed up onto her toes, Five leaning down slightly, his lips meeting hers. Every time they kissed, it gave him the same rush of excitement, and oddly nerves, just like he’d felt the very first time they’d kissed. The night before he’d left, forever seared into Five’s mind as the biggest mistake he’d ever made in his life. Pushing the tainted memory away, Five cupped the side of Vanya’s face, ignoring the slow burning in his lungs as what had started as a simple kiss evolved into a near makeout until a knock on Five’s door startled both of them.

“Five?” Ben, at least is was their least intrusive sibling, “Are you coming?”

While Vanya frivolously tried to fix any stray hairs on her head in preparation for dinner with Reginald, there weren’t any out of place anyhow, but regardless, Five called back to Ben, in hopes of avoiding any further questioning or scrutiny, “Yeah, I’ll meet you down there.”

And, it worked. Ben left with the parting message through the door along the lines of ‘seeing him soon’ and ‘he better not be late’ before walking away. He waited for Vanya to tell him when Ben had walked back downstairs, their brother not wanting to be late to dinner and incur the wrath of Reginald. And once Vanya told him the coast was clear, Five took a hold of Vanya’s hands again, jumping into her abysmally small bedroom. Five waited for Vanya to, once again, regain her balance before pressing a quick kiss to her lips, and telling her “I love you, Vanya Hargreeves.”