Thinking of Suzuki's inner turmoil as he's dealing with the god of whiplash that is Sugiki Shinya. Imagine how affected he must have been in the bed scene and its aftermath since they're so emotionally in tune with each other's touch. How much of Sugiki's emotional instability could Suzuki feel through the hands choking him?
Suzuki allows himself to be pinned down and choked because he understands how desperately his partner needs to control something, how desperately he needs this, but that decision is not just about Sugiki. Suzuki needs this to happen too. He needs Sugiki to choose him right now. This is the moment to confirm that Sugiki wants him just as much. Suzuki needs Sugiki to let go and go over the edge with him. Grim Reaper, I know exactly who you are. Stop denying it, stop hating yourself. Give in to the angel before you. This is the moment of salvation where all the troubles can fade away and the pair can unite. The people of Blackpool may not believe they can overcome the obstacles and win it all, but in this quiet room alone, no one can stand in their way. Unfortunately, the time isn't right, and the barrier between them is too great to overcome in this tense, make-or-break situation. It's undeniable that they want the same thing, but they're incapable of reaching the point where they can do something about it in that moment. This realization makes it all the more heartbreaking when Sugiki ends it between them. Suzuki is left crying alone, and it hurts so terribly because he knows that Sugiki refuses to face the situation, despite it being clear how desperately they need each other in this world.
