#firststeamworks

*sees two men in suits in our hotel* Nooo we are not able to function in society Jester boy! Sing me a dance! Barbeque chicken in the closet!! Oh you can tighten these?!?!? OH!! I have made a discovery! THEY ARENT SLIPPING ANYMORE! THEY HAVE A HOOOOOORN Here comes a robot! And an EXISTENTIAL CRISIS! Software captain: I'm like a seventy year old man. I can't make the things work. I have trouble with tech sometimes ... nah I'm actually like a fourty year old man who grew up in an Amish community. *sniffs pockets* it's smelling less and less like hotdog... *team smells shirt from Mentor's backpack* -There was probably shelves in there. -I don't think so. There were people sleeping in there. What? I'm not even that white and I'm the captain! And then there were seven...well actually nine. But that sounded better. Oh Goddamn coota's running under my truck! He doesn't have facts. He just shouts at me. *bob the builder theme* I'm a failing alcoholic! Can you fix it? Why is the water coming from the air? I have a built in selfie stick. You never know if its gonna move. Quantum mechanics. You gotta keep an eye on that shit. Not a bomb. Just balls. Maybe your dad looked at my butt. Do you want am extra ranking point? Because I have 40 balls. Sunburn free my dude. I don't think I'd smash you, I'd be too intimidated. -You were on the ground too! -That's because I tripped over your dead body. I dont want that. I just want the spoon once it's washed. It's bread fruit and it's filled with hummus. It turns into Lord of the Rings and Star Wars plus segways and Dean Kamen. I'm the software captain. I don't do long words. I look like I'm wearing a chip on my head! -Why didn't you stay with the group?!?! -SOCCER!!!!!!! *small innocent voice* we're like the mafia. Hey look at those idiots throwing fuel on the roof...oh wait that's our team... I'm not having an existential crisis, I am quite faliliar with those. This is just me being cold. 1-Flashback to Idaho. 2-Snap back to reality. Oh, there goes gravity. 3-Manifest destiny! Second robotics! I just want you to smell me man! Stop enjoying the experience! -I used to think you were a nornal person before you joined this team. -I think I was a normal person before I joined this team... *troubleshooting with the team* -Sometimes the muscle just doesnt work. -Have you tried poking it? -Have you tried turning it off and back on? -Have you checked the color values? -Are you using labview? -Is there a new update? -The f is not for fantastic. -The f is for FUCK. -Keep your moistness to yourself! -You just gotta spread the moist love! *software captain kicks chair across room* The answer is arcsine!! The velcro sticks to the wrong side of  the velcro! -Are you an extra large boy? -Why? -For Doctor Who sleepy pants!

• slide whistles

Sorry that I haven't posted any updates lately. Last week we competed at the World Championship in Houston, TX in the Turing devision, placing in the middle at 41st. Congratulations to our Idaho alliance partners #5499 for being on the Einstein-winning alliance! Thanks to everyone for the amazing season!!!!

- Jaye B. 2729