I don't know why but all I can think about today is the batfam all going to a gala and just immediately trying to get Dick to act as a sheild for them. Like, Dick will just be nearby, maybe getting a snack for himself, and the next thing he knows is that someone is tugging at his arm and saying, "Oh, have you met Dick yet? He'd love to talk to you. Trust me, he would know way more about that subject than I would..." And EVERYONE'S doing it. Dick can't get a moment to himself before another family member is throwing him under the bus and he can't decide whether to lecture them all later or to just let it be since he knows they're all either extremely introverted, extremely akward, or both. Just as he's about to decide to take pity on them all and just start interupting conversations himself, BRUCE of all people shoves him in front of a bunch of business people saying, "Well, if we're not talking about company stuff anymore, do you all remember Dick? He did a cartwheel for you all when he was nine." It is then that Dick realizes this has ALWAYS been how Galas have worked for him and he's not pleased.
ok but this is adorable???
because brucie wayne has always been an act, one that bruce enjoys playing, if only for the thrill of it, and the enjoyment he gets from this extended ruse. but even the funniest act can get tiring sometimes, and there are very few people he actually enjoys being around, the people at galas being far from them.
jason doesn’t visit galas anymore, but when he was a kid, he used to hate them. everyone’s smiles were made of plastic, but their pinches on his cheeks were sharp as knives. the atmosphere was smothering, and he hated it.
tim’s just naturally an introvert. he’s like bruce in that sense, there are a few people that he likes (his family and young justice make up most of them) and with those people, he’ll allow himself to relax fully. but anyone else activates his go-hide-by-the-orchestra senses. he knows how important those galas are, so he’ll attend and schmooze with investors, but he hates every part of it.
cass and damian both just dislike being around large crowds of people. they feel out of control, out of their element, and generally uncomfortable with the situation. they’re almost constantly palming a weapon, and the rest of the fam allows it, because they recognize how grounding it is, and how much it helps them grasp a semblance of control.
but unlike the rest of his brothers and sister, dick’s an extrovert. especially so. now that isn’t to say he likes the company at the galas, because he most certainly does not. these are the same people that threw slurs at him when he was a kid for his heritage, then turned right around and threw their daughters at him when he was an adult. but he’s always enjoyed performing. he feels at home under the spotlight, with all eyes on him. attending a gala is just another fight, which are things he lives for. harsh blows are exchanged for cutting remarks, guns and knives are exchanged for smirks and scowls, but dick’s quips and puns remain the same.
of course, he was irritated at first, because goddamnit he was really enjoying the shrimp salad, and now he has to do the standing splits in a fancy suit because bruce got tired of talking to people, but eventually it becomes another game to him. how quickly can he get the people’s attention off his siblings when he sees them getting uncomfortable. he alternates between being so smooth the person practically jumps to talk to him and being so annoying that the person just huffs and leaves the conversation altogether.
because there are two things that dick both loves doing and considers himself a master at: protecting his family and using his wit to irritate the everloving hell out of people he doesn’t like.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,jesus fucking christ on a chicken kebab now i gotta write a fic. but this truly was a blessed concept and i enjoyed it very very much. thanks babe!