#firstcrush

check out on wattpad and ao3!

Bago nagkaroon ng Facebook, Twitter (X na siya ngayo), Tumblr, Friendster, MySpace, at kung anu-anong algorithm na sinusubukang hulaan ang pagkatao ko - slambook muna ang social network ko. Kapag nasubukan mong sumagot sa Slam Book, pareho na tayong medyo gurang.

Isang notebook na binili sa National Bookstore. Bulaklakin ang cover, may mga heart-heart sa gilid, at amoy pabango ng Victoria’s Secret na pinilit ipaamoy kahit di mo hiningi.

Doon nagsimula ang lahat:

Ang pagkukunwari, ang pagpapakatotoo, at ang kasaysayang hindi sinasadya.

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Profile ni Black sa Slambook

Pangalan: Sekreto Muna

Palayaw: Black, Tim, minsan “Pre” kapag wala silang maalala

Sex: Sure.

Zodiac Sign: Leo – gusto kong laging bida, pero kadalasan narrator lang ng buhay ng iba.

Libangan: Magtanong ng tanong na ayaw sagutin. Magkwento ng kwentong ayaw ulitin.

Kasabihan: Vincit Omnia Veritas – Truth conquers all at "Time is gold when watching bold"

Ambisyon: Magkapera. Kahit hindi milyonaryo, basta may pananghalian.

Kinakatakutan: Magutom - literal, emosyonal

Course: Golf course. Of course. Life’s obstacle course.

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Mga Paborito

Kulay: Pula – rebolusyon ng damdamin

Libro: Lahat ng sinulat ni Roberto (kahit hindi ko alam kung sino siya)

Sports: Bisikleta – para kung gusto kong lumayo, may dahilan (Sports ba ito?)

Kanta: "Bawal na Gamot" – kasi masarap pakinggan kahit bawal ang tema

Subject sa School: P.E. – kasi kahit papano, may galaw kahit tambay

Pelikula: "Forrest Gump" – kasi kahit tanga siya, dire-diretso ang takbo

Pagkain: Dinuguan – maitim, malapot, malasa, delikado

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Define Love

Love is blind.

Love is a rosary full of mystery.

Love has four letters, pero ilang taon mong dadalhin.

Love is like bubble gum—pag dumikit, kumakapit.

Love is sweet. Pero 'di mo puwedeng kainin sa gutom ng kaluluwa.

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Tanong-tanong, Sagot-sagot

Gusto ko: Mapuntahan ang mga lugar na hindi ko pa kayang puntahan kahit sa isip

Hinihiling ko: Maging maayos ang mga buhay—kahit hindi akin

Ayaw ko sa: Pork… lalo na ‘pag sinungaling

Nagtataka ako: Tatalab kaya sa akin ang gluta?

Pinagsisisihan ko: Yung mga bagay na hindi ko ginawa. At yung ilang bagay na ginawa ko kahit ayaw ko

Mahal ko: Yung mga taong hindi agad umalis

Palagi akong: Nagtatanong ng may halong lungkot

Iiyak ako kapag: Naubos ang buwaya sa bansa - pero dahil masaya ako (Tears of Joy)

Hindi ako mabubuhay nang walang: Hangin. Kasi kahit walang pagkain, pwede pang huminga

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Oo o Hindi

Naninigarilyo: Oo. Pero paunti-unti, gaya ng paglimot

Umiinom ng alak: Oo. Lalo na pag may rason na wag uminom

Nagbibigay ba sa namamalimos: Oo, pag may barya at may konsensya

Matagal maligo: Limang minuto. Sapat na para burahin ang ilang dumi, pero hindi ang alaala

Umibig na ba: Oo. Sa maling tao, maling oras, at minsan, sa sarili ko

Gusto bang maikasal: Depende - kung kaya niyang isama ang multo ko sa altar

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Slambook: The First Feed

Sa slambook ko unang narinig ang salitang “crush” na hindi galing sa panga.

Doon ako unang nagsinungaling tungkol sa paboritong kanta ko.

Doon ko unang naramdamang may interes pala sa akin, kahit sa pamamagitan lang ng papel.

Ngayon, sa internet… parang lahat open book.

Pero noon, sa slambook. May privacy, may amoy, may bulaklak.

At bawal i-lock ang profile.

At sa mga huling pahina?

Mga mensahe ng pasasalamat na totoo man o hindi,

eh sapat nang dahilan para maalala kang minsan,

may sumagot sa mga tanong mo.

======================

May kwento ako.

Basta sagot mo ang kape ko.

Please, click mo yung link.

I did this fanfic for the day one stadment and I forgot to publish it. I’m late but here it is. I want to write a fanfic of Dean’s first male crush. Enjoy it.

My perdition

The first time Dean saw Castiel crossing the barn with all this sparks around it an old memory come to his mind. Something he hasn't thought about in a long time and definitely not the best time to think. But he just remembered.

The memory was when he was 16 years old and Sam was 12. This year his father went on a longer hunt than usual and for the first time they had stayed in the school to go to the end of year dance. Normally the school has this dance for the people of 6 grade but in that school they prepared dances from the age of 12 in a very big party for all the students. Sam had gotten a partner for the dance and he was excited about the idea. As for Dean, he had several requests from girls but did not accept any. He did not want to be accompanied to the dance. Just being there to make sure everything was going well with Sam and it was a perfect night for him. It had been too long since they had done something normal outside of hunting and he knew how important it was to his brother. The night before, he had gone to an arcade and bet money with elders. He had gotten enough to rent a nice suit for his brother. And the two of them headed to the dance. Dean hadn't bothered to dress differently. He was wearing his usual jeans and a simple shirt. He left Sam with his date and went to lie down next to the punch, watching from afar. And then he saw it. Mark. He was a boy who went to his class. And Dean was never going to admit it out loud but he had been attracted to him from the first moment. Or maybe more specifically since that day when he saw him shirtless and he could see that tattoo on his back that got lost under his pants and that Dean had wondered how far it went. The following days he had found himself looking at him more than he should. Or thinking about him. It's not that he won't expect him to show up at that dance. But he definitely didn't expect him to be as lonely as he was and not come dressed in one of those ridiculous outfits. Instead he was wearing tight pants that looked great on him and a T-shirt with a leather jacket over it. Dean quickly looked away to focus on Sam again. He was dancing and seemed to have a great time. He had some punch but as he tasted it he wrinkled his nose. No alcohol. Just a boring fruit punch that didn't taste good at all. He looked back at where Mark had been only to find that they were no longer there. Better. He didn't feel like having unwanted temptations tonight.

Are you looking for someone?

Dean turned startled when he heard a voice behind him. Turning around he found Mark looking at him with amusement.

I'm not looking for anyone.

Well, I do. Someone to accompany me.

Sure there are miles of people who are interested in doing it. I am busy watching over my brother.

Dean was shaking his head towards Sam and Mark looked at him.

He seems to be having a good time alone. I don't think he need his older brother. Plus, I have something better than that disgusting punch.

He pushed his leather jacket off a bit and Dean could see that he was hiding a couple of beers. He smiled.

I think you have convinced me. Where are we going?

Outside.

Dean looked at Sam one last time and seeing that he didn't need him he followed Mark. The air hit him as soon as they stepped outside and he was glad to get away from everyone. Although the music was still being heard there. He took the beer that Mark offered him and began to drink with it. He leaned against the railing and leaned back looking up at the sky.

I was surprised that the great Dean Winchester was not accompanied to the dance.

Dean looked at Mark as he took a long drink of his beer.

The great Dean Winchester?

I heard several girls talking about who was going to be the first to try to ask you to the dance.

Wow. My reputation precedes me. I wanted tonight to be special for my brother. Make sure everything was perfect. I don’t like the dancers too much. What is your excuse for not having invited a woman to the dance?

I don’t like women.

Any? There are many to choose from.

Any. - He said, staring at Dean. -I prefer men.

Oh.

Dean stared into her eyes longer than he should. It took him a while to react and walk away.

I better get back to the dance.

I have seen you.

He stopped where he was without taking another step or daring to turn.

I've seen how you looked at me more than once.

That is not true. -he said, turning to face him.

Yes. It is. Do you want to know why I know? Because I was looking at you too.

Look, I don't know what you think you saw or not but it's not what you think it is. I like women.

And men.

What? No.

Grant me a dance and I'll prove it to you.

At that moment and as if he had been waiting for it, the music became a slow piece.

I'm going back inside.

Are you afraid?

I'm not afraid.

Prove it to me.

Mark reached out his hand to Dean and he looked at it like it was on fire. Then he looked at him and saw that funny smile and that challenging look on his face and he couldn't resist to hold his hand just to show him that he wasn't afraid at all. Mark attracted him by sticking their bodies together, and while Dean didn't like to admit it, it wasn't an unpleasant sensation. He let himself be guided by him without taking his eyes off him. And it was then that he realized that he was slowly approaching. He was not an idiot. He knew what he was going to do. He had time to pull away. He had time to avoid it. And he found himself standing still and waiting. Wishing to taste those lips. Mark kissed differently from the girls he had kissed. It was an intense kiss. Passionate. Dominant. And Dean loved it. It wasn't until he broke contact that he realized what he was doing and pulled away.

Quiet. It's okay. -Mark said and smiled at him.

And Dean would have stayed there if he hadn't started to hear all the commotion. He turned away from Mark to go see what was happening only to find Sam's partner making fun of him for believing she wanted to be his partner. She telling him that it had been a gamble but that he didn't want to continue the deception. Dean immediately approached his brother helping him and taking him away from the dance. He regretted leaving him alone. Just before leaving he could once again see Mark looking at him. They never spoke of that dance again and Dean never saw Mark again. The next morning John was there and they left town. After that Dean began to realize that Mark might be right. That maybe he liked men too. But that didn't matter. Being with someone of the same sex involved too many difficulties that he could not allow himself. He must be with his brother. What happened that night at the dance proved it. So he was not with any man again after that night. There was only one more thing he remembered about Mark. His eyes. Incredible blue eyes that looked at him with too much intensity.

When he came back to reality he realized that that was what the memory had evoked because that creature, whatever it was, had eyes of the same color. After enduring all his and Bobby's shots and knocking him unconscious, he went to Dean although he did not seem to have any hostile intent.

Who are you?

I am the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition.