#first experiences

A herbal scent fills the kitchen as the teapot hums. Shadowheart removes it from the fire and pours it into the two cups resting on a tray. Elbow to her hip, she carries it upstairs, dodging the cat that sleeps on one of the wooden steps. The sound of coughing grows louder and louder as she approaches the bedroom.

Lae'zel sneezes into a handkerchief. The poor thing looks so small and fragile with all those blankets and pillows. Her eyes, which seem much bigger without the war paint, are glazed and reddish, matching her tiny, upturned nose. When her wife appears by the doorframe, she gives her a frustrated pout, her pointed ears drooping. Shadowheart feels terribly sorry for her. Even so, she can't help but find her irresistibly cute, like a kitten asking for cuddles.

“I brought you some tea,” Shadowheart announces. “It'll make you feel better.”

Wincing slightly as she sits up – her stomach and chest muscles must be sore from two days of incessant coughing – Lae'zel accepts the cup, holding it with both her hands. Shadowheart leaves the tray on the nightstand and motions for her to leave some space so that she can sit down next to her on the bed. Before taking her own beverage, she presses her lips to Lae'zel's forehead.

“You're burning up,” she says.

“I told you the drow had poisoned me,” Lae'zel protests faintly.

“Don't be silly! Why would Minthara do that?”

“She still sees me as a superior opponent and wants me weakened so that I will not steal her precious wizard from her. Did you not notice her facial expression while we were reminiscing about that fight by the Emerald Grove?”

“You're definitely delirious from the fever. She and Gale have been together for almost as long as we have. Why would she invite us over to their tower if she thought we were a threat?”

“She dislikes us. She only puts up with us a few times a year because she knows Gale enjoys our visits. Just like I put up with your terrible singing while you work in the garden.”

“Hey!” Shadowheart glares and blows into her tea to cool it down. “I'd slap you right now if you weren't sick, so be grateful you are. And no-one poisoned you, you donkey. You just caught a cold from all the time you spent in the snow.”

“Why did you not warn me about it being so dangerous?” Lae'zel frowns.

At that, Shadowheart's face softens. It almost makes her laugh. Sometimes she forgets how young and inexperienced her wife is.

“You seemed to be having such a good time. I didn't want to ruin it.”

Fond memories fill her mind as she takes the mug to her lips. It's been three days since they returned from their trip to Waterdeep. Life in the cottage doesn't allow for many breaks, but they always take a few days in winter, when there's less to do in the orchard, to enjoy a short vacation together. Thank the gods for having Halsin so near. He's always happy to lend a hand and use the opportunity to teach the multiple children in his charge lessons about their animals and plants. The little ones are delighted to keep Auntie Shadowheart's place neat and tidy in her absence in return for a chance to play with her cats, pick some flowers from her garden and receive a basket of her delicious pastries.

About a month before, they had received a letter signed by Minthara inviting them both to celebrate Wintershield with her and Gale. She had also mentioned that there was going to be a full moon on Winter Solstice, which meant that their visit would coincide with an important festivity in the Selûnite enclave. Perfect timing. In fact, it was Lae'zel herself who had suggested changing their annual holiday plans and staying with their friends instead of traveling to Neverwinter.

The morning after they arrived in Waterdeep, it started snowing. Back in Baldur's Gate and the surrounding areas, winters are milder and snow is very rare, so they were lucky that Gale and Minthara had more than enough furs and cloaks for them to borrow. In fact, Shadowheart could only remember seeing snow once in her lifetime, and it hadn't been intense enough to settle. She was about to share with Lae'zel the excitement of recovering another fragment of her past but, when she turned towards her love, the sight of her stole any words from her mouth. Lae'zel was frozen by the window of the guest room in Gale's tower, absolutely dumbstruck. Her amber gaze was trained on the white flakes gliding in the air, slowly covering the ground and crowning the rooftops. A gasp and an exclamation escaped her as her cat-like pupils widened. The brightness in them made Shadowheart's chest swell with tenderness.

“What is that?” Lae'zel asked.

“Snow,” Shadowheart answered. She took a step towards the window and draped an arm around her wife's shoulders. “It's beautiful, isn't it?”

“It looks as if the sky had broken into a million stars and they were falling upon us.”

Shadowheart cracked a smile at the description. Lae'zel's ability to find something poetic and fascinating in the most mundane events would always be one of her favorite things about her. Immediately, it brought her back to the first autumn she and Lae'zel had spent together in their cottage, how the gith liked to go outside with the first rains of the season, raising her head up to the skies and closing her eyes to feel the drops of water caressing her skin. How they had often used it as an excuse to then share a warm bath and sit in each other's arms facing the windows, watching nature unleash its power from the warmth and protection of their home. As someone who was gradually retrieving her recollections and discovering everything she had been denied while trapped in the Sharran cloister, Shadowheart felt that this naivety brought them both closer. Learning about the world together.

And it was beautiful.

“A little dramatic, aren't you?” she chuckled, nudging her gently.

“I would like to watch it more closely,” Lae'zel replied, oblivious to her teasing. “Unless it is harmful.”

“Not at all! It's just like rain, but colder.”

The pleading look in those brown eyes said it all. With a smile, Shadowheart held out her hand and offered it to her love. They both wrapped themselves in the borrowed cloaks and made their way down the spiral staircase.

Like a puppy sniffing a stranger, Lae'zel slid her hand of out the door and cautiously let a few snowflakes toch her. Her face lit up.

“Cold,” she murmured.

Then she trotted outside and took off her hood. Eyelids closed, she lifted up her head to feel the snow on her cheeks, which were already beginning to turn red. She was adorable. Shadowheart watched as Lae'zel parted her lips and stuck out her tongue. The coldness made her squirm lightly as she tasted it. Her dreamy gaze lost somewhere beyond the clouds, she let out a happy sigh.

“The sky is glowing,” she commented, her voice brimming with child-like wonder.

Indeed, there was that special brightness above them, enveloping the world in joy and magic. A mischievous idea occurred to Shadowheart at that moment. While Lae'zel was distracted, mesmerized by the wintry landscape, she caught a handful of snow on her palm, shaped it into a small ball and threw it at her. Lae'zel gasped as the makeshift projectile hit her on the shoulder.

“K'chakhi!” Lae'zel exclaimed, baring her teeth. “You will not get away with that!”

Her relaxed posture turned into a battle stance, but the faint curling of her lips gave her away. For the next few minutes, they were like two children running around the tower. Snowballs were flying around, impacting different body parts, until they both ended up breathless, with pinkish cheeks and damp hair and hands. Shadowheart couldn't resist it anymore, so she pulled Lae'zel into a kiss.

“You're so cute,” she whispered against her icy lips. “But we should go inside.”

“Must we?”

“Yes. Unless you want to freeze to death.”

“Chk. It is not even that cold.”

Arm in arm they walked into their friends' home, relieved to be greeted by the warmth inside. They were taking off their soaked clothes when Shadowheart noticed the wistful expression on Lae'zel's face.

“Why do we not have snow in Reithwin, Shadowheart?” she wondered.

“Reithwin is quite far south, close to the coast,” Shadowheart explained. “It rarely gets cold enough. Gale will probably be able to explain it better than me,” she added with a shrug.

Another sneeze takes her out of her daydreams. She'll never forget Lae'zel's disappointed face after that. Or how she spent the next three days asking to go for walks in the snow, wanting to be out constantly, like a little girl with a new toy.

And now she's suffering the consequences. Shadowheart can't help but feel sorry for her. She presses her palm against Lae'zel's chest, murmuring a spell. Hopefully that will calm her and ease her symptoms.

“If this is not poison,” Lae'zel says between fits of cough, “or a curse, then why can your magic not heal it completely?”

“Healing sickness is not as simple as healing injuries,” Shadowheart defends herself. “I can help you recover more quickly, but you'll still have to endure this for a couple of days.”

Under her breath, Lae'zel mutters a curse in her native language. She blows her nose into the handkerchief once again. That tiny nub is getting redder by the minute, the skin around it drying up from all the wiping and sneezing. It's painful to see her like that, even though Shadowheart knows it's nothing serious. A part of her must have believed her wife immune to all sorts of illnesses.

“She's going to come down with pneumonia,” she recalls Gale warning her while Lae'zel was sitting on the snow-covered ground, marveling at the softness of the white cushion.

“Don't worry about her,” Shadowheart replied. “She's as tough as they come.”

At least she's there to take care of her and ensure those days are not too hard on her. When she's not doing farm work, Shadowheart sits on the bed with Lae'zel, reading to her, making conversation or just stroking her hair while she sleeps. Of course, she always brings something warm. Fearing that she might get infected, she has already started adding honey, ginger and lemon to her own tea. Better safe than sorry.

As it was to be expected, Lae'zel's health improves in time. The combination of magic, homemade remedies and affection soon brings her back to her old self. Besides, the Moonmaiden must be watching over them – Shadowheart survives the whole ordeal without getting sick.

Satisfied to see the metallic bucket full of milk, Shadowheart pats Daphne's side and carries it inside, careful not to spill it. Her lips curl into a smile as she notices Lae'zel playing with one of the cats and rewarding it with pets. Stains of grass and dirt decorate the old shirt she's wearing. The hat she wears to shield herself from the sun while she tends to the garden rests on the corner of the kitchen table, next to a dish with a freshly baked loaf of bread. She whips around towards Shadowheart, her ears drooping sheepishly.

“I have finished weeding and trimming the leaves.”

“Glad to see you're feeling well enough to be up and working!”

“Of course. I cannot let you do everything by yourself any longer. You always get distracted and leave the bread in the oven for too long.”

“Idiot,” Shadowheart pretends to whack her on the shoulder, although the quip elicits a grin she can't quite hide. “I was going to give you a gift, but I think I'll keep it instead.”

“Oh?” Lae'zel raises her eyebrows in curiosity.

Shaking her head in amusement, Shadowheart disappears upstairs and returns shortly after with a small package wrapped in colorful paper. Her teeth graze on her bottom lip timidly as she places it in Lae'zel's hands.

“I got this for you while we were in Waterdeep.”

Lae'zel's expression is the most curious mixture of surprise and wariness. Her nails tear through the paper, revealing an object resembling a crystal ball. Inside it, there are two little figures kissing. She blinks in confusion as she looks from the present to Shadowheart.

“Allow me,” Shadowheart says.

Her fingers close around her wife's wrist, puppeting her to flip it. As the snowglobe is turned, a white powder resembling snow pours down on the two inanimate lovers. But all of Shadowheart's attention is heavily focused on Lae'zel and her reaction. Those expressive golden eyes widen in amazement. Her lips fall open. Her serrated ears point up.

“You seemed so fascinated with snow and so disappointed about not us not getting it around here, I just had to buy you one. So you can enjoy it whenever you need it – with no risk of catching a cold again.”