no i genuinely donāt understand how this ending comes from that set up. i donāt care if the doctor gets it wrong, she gets it wrong sometimes, and sheās been backswinging hard into hypocritical pacifism after twelve because being him, trying to make things change in his way, only got her hurt, got the people she loved hurt. but why spend a whole episode on a setup like that and go for a completely different payoff.
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The room was spinning, the gold and the marble bouncing light off of each other and the sound of the music through moving bodies made her head feel light. Her hand felt heavy in Prince Nikitaās, the other like a weight on his shoulder. He felt stiff as he danced, his movements precise and without passion, but Sabina didnāt care much about that. This was ancillary, this wasnāt what she was here for. Many would have killed to dance with the crowned prince but she just felt her world around her slow and gasp, the overwhelming want to b r e a t h e in and out, like her anxiety was some sort of living thing.
She thought again, for not the first time that night, of how it was much easier to deal with the dead than the living.Ā
Her fingers curled a little under the weight of her own anxiety.Ā The music picked up and his steps matched the tempo with practiced ease. On the farmlands, Sabina had no want nor need to dance like this -- to be pressed close to another living person. She would have blushed with the indecency of it but she knew this was Prince Nikita; he perhaps had the least decency in all of Tovjland, if she was to be honest. Though he had no charm of his own accord she could sense how much of a scoundrel he was, if only using his title as a means to win the hearts of so many pretty women. Just looking around at those hungry eyes of potential matches in the room made Sabinaās stomach turn on itself. Instead of giving into it, she heard her mother chide her to stand up straighter.
So she did. She straightened her back and listened to the tapping of her own heels in almost perfect synchronization with her partnerās own.Ā
The prince managed to huff out a little laugh as if he just remembered she was attached to him. āI should thank you for saving my sister.ā
Sabina turned away from Nikita and looked off to see Ivanna standing there, a small smile on her face as she watched the two dance. Her blue eyes seemed to almost say something, to bid her good luck on this game that she had no real choice in playing. Sabina couldnāt help but smile at the way Ivanna moved a little to the music, her gaze travelling from Sabina and her younger brother to Svetlana, to Vasily, to the orchestra.
Ā Not that Sabina had any belief that Ivanna wanted her to win this competition; this was to see who was the best for the throne, after all.
And Sabina didnāt want to win. No, no. She just wanted recognition for her talents, right? So she just smiled at him, resisting the urge to blow a piece of her hair out of her eyes.
I would teach her that beauty is, in fact, skin deep.
I would teach her the importance of her weight, how she is dressed, and how much makeup she wears.
My daughter will always know what's in style.Ā
She would always depend on money.
I would make my daughter understand why all of these things will take her far in life.Ā
More importantly-Ā
I would teach her that yes, beauty is skin deep. But true beauty is even deeper.Ā
I would teach her that weight is certainly important, but it is not everything. What matters more than the number on the scale is your health and your self image.
She would know how to dress in a way that makes her feel comfortable and beautiful- regardless if that means dresses or sweats.Ā
She would wear makeup but have enough confidence to go without it.
My daughter will know that a kind heart and sincere smile will never go out of style.Ā
She will be self sufficient. So when it comes time to put food on her table and a roof over her head, she will depend on the money she earned on her own from hard work.Ā
I would make my daughter into someone she can love. So I, as her mother, must live by these lessons if I expect it from her. And maybe, just maybe- I will love myself.