Top Posts Tagged with #fireman!steve

𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚜

chapter 4: with or without you

pairing: firefighter!steve x reader

summary: steve’s coma drags on and you drag on with it. you learn a lot, though, in his absence and get a glimpse into how he really feels about you.

warnings: completely inaccurate medical knowledge and descriptions (don’t come for me i’m not a doctor), pining, angst, idiots who can’t admit their feelings. smut to come. jealous and violent steve. (not violent towards you!)

a/n: eddie’s a mechanic for halloween, which is a little nod to @pinkrelish <3 love you and typ!! there SHOULD only be one more chapter but if it drags on there will be 2. i know for sure the next chapter WILL be a Christmas chapter! (:

chapter 1 | chapter 2 | chapter 3

The next morning, I woke up bright and early and went straight to the hospital. My parents showed up soon after me, worry a mask on their faces.

“Y/N, sweetheart, are you okay?” My mom asked, fretting over me momentarily out of nervousness.

“I’m fine, Mom.”

“I know how much you love him, I’m just worried about you. He’ll be ok, he’s a strong boy!”

“I know,” I smiled politely, but she was more optimistic than I was.

“Honey, why don’t you let her breathe? She’s stressed enough already,” Dad stepped in, pulling Mom away. “How is Steve, anyway?”

“Stable. Still in a coma. That’s all I know,” I shrugged, “They’ve told me more than anyone else but I’m not family so there’s only so much they can share.”

“That’s ridiculous. Where is his actual family at?” Mom outbursted, “I bet they’re not even concerned. They couldn’t care less about their own son! God, I’ve been more of a mother to him than that dreadful woman!”

“I know,” I sighed, “I’m not happy about it either, but it is what it is.”

“Maybe I could have his dad call the hospital and tell them to treat us as his family in their absence?” Dad suggested.

“Not a bad idea, they could sign a release or something.”

So he pulled out his phone and dialed Mr Harrington up, getting him after a few rings. He walked out of the waiting room and into the hallway to talk to him and Mom sat beside me, stroking my hair.

“What’s going on in that head of yours?” she asked me, “You’ve got that look in your eye.”

“What look?”

“The guilty look.”

“I don’t have a guilty look.”

“You’ve been my baby for decades, I think I know your looks. Spill!”

I sighed, “I saw Steve yesterday, before he got called into work and got hurt. He came to the music shop and brought me flowers, then took me out to eat. We went back to his house to hang out and, Mom, he has this huge picture of me on his dresser. Not me and him, just me. Like I’m his wife or something. I got overwhelmed when I saw it and I went off on him.”

“Why’d you go off on him for having a picture of you? I’d imagine that’s a good thing!”

“Because I’m sick of being lead on,” I shrugged, “Or at least I was. But now I’d let him lead me on forever if it meant he wakes up healthy and happy.”

Suddenly, a thoughtful look crossed her face. She bit her lip as if she was holding something back, and furrowed her brows.

“What is it?” I asked.

“You need to talk to your father about this.”

“Why?”

“Because he knows Steve better than you think, and I think he’d know exactly how to make you feel better about all this.”

“I will later,” I nodded, leaning back in my chair and waiting for Dad to get off the phone.

Only a few minutes later, he did exactly that, walking back into the room.

“They’re calling the hospital now and asking about faxing a release. Y/N should be informed of everything from now on.”

“Perfect!” Mom clapped, a small smile crossing her face.

“I’m gonna see if we can go in there with him.”

I walked to the nurse’s desk and asked, and she said yes, so I lead my parents into his room. He looked just as rough as the day before and my heart shattered a little bit.

“Oh,” my mom sighed, and I could tell her heart was breaking as well just looking at him. She and Dad really did care a lot for Steve. They always had. He was included in family trips, family photos, everything. They basically adopted him the second we became friends. I think at first they just felt bad for him, but it didn’t take long for pity to turn into love. He had that affect on everyone, everyone but his own family.

I sat in the chair by his bed, grabbing his fragile hand in my own and squeezing lightly.

“Hey Steve,” I quietly greeted, “I brought Mom and Dad to see you. I knew you’d want them here.”

My naive heart waited for a response, but of course, there was none. I could feel the pitiful eyes of my parents burning into my skull.

About an hour passed of them simply sitting with me. A couple other people dropped in, some of the firemen and Robin to be exact. Eddie was at work and wasn’t able to make it yet, but he had called me to see if everything was okay.

“You guys don’t have to stay here all day, I’m okay,” I told Mom and Dad.

“We’ll stay here until they make us leave.”

I smiled lightly at that, turning back to Steve. “You hear that? I think they like you more than they like me.”

“I’m gonna go get something to eat from the cafeteria,” mom got up suddenly, “but I think you two should talk.”

“About what?” Dad asked, but I knew.

She didn’t bother answering him, just shood him my way before making her exit.

“Tactful,” I scoffed, smoothing out Steve’s sheets and making sure he was covered up enough to be warm. If my dad noticed, he said nothing, watching in silence as I doted over the closest thing he had to a son.

“What’s going on, Y/N?” he asked.

“Well…. nothing, really, it’s just I feel a bit guilty because I went off on Steve yesterday before the accident. I yelled at him to stop leading me on and then I left even though he begged me to stay. I wouldn’t even let him get a word in.”

“I see,” he nodded in understanding, “And I heard from one of the firemen that he was on the way to the cabin when he got called in. Is that why?”

“Yes,” I nodded, “I mean, I’m assuming. I’m sure he wanted to make things right. Steve never could leave well enough alone.”

“Not when it comes to you, at least.”

“I can’t help thinking I messed things up for good. What if I never get to apologize?”

“You will, but you don’t have to. He forgave you before the words even came out of your mouth. He loves you that way.”

“I know, I know. I’m his best friend, he’d never hold anything against me.”

“No, Y/N, you don’t know,” Dad sighed, “Steve and I go golfing every month. It started as a way to cope with you being gone, both of us missed you and honestly I missed him. He’s like my own son and when you stopped being around, he stopped hanging around. We golf all day and then head to the house and your mom makes us a great spread of dinner.”

“I know that already, Dad. He told me.”

“What you don’t know is that the fifth or sixth time we golfed, he’d gotten real comfortable with me and started talking to me. He told me, ‘Mr. L/N, if Y/N ever comes back I swear I’m gonna marry her.’ I asked him what in the world he was on about and he told me that he knew you were the only woman he’d ever want the second he laid eyes on you at Scoops Ahoy. Nobody ever compared for him. None of those girls meant a quarter as much as you. Why do you think he hasn’t had a girlfriend all these years?”

“Are you saying Steve is in love with me?”

“Steve has been in love with you just as long as you’ve been in love with him.”

“Why didn’t you ever tell me? I would’ve come home right then!”

“Because, sweetheart, you were chasing a dream bigger than me or Steve or anyone. You flew away and I didn’t know if you wanted to come back, you seemed happy where you were. I didn’t wanna burden you with things that would make you feel guilty. Besides, I promised him I wouldn’t tell.”

“But you just did.”

“I don’t think he’d mind,” he winked, “I’m gonna go meet your mom in the cafeteria. You say your piece. He can hear you, you know.”

I smiled lightly as he walked away, turning to my handsome, bandaged up boy the second he was gone.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me, Steve?” I implored, sadness overtaking me. “This could’ve been so different. I never would’ve left.”

My parents stayed the whole day, just as they said they would, and they came back every day to check in. They really were worried about him, and about me as well. I never left his side. I was there every day, all day. And nobody seemed to mind. They all just respected me for what I apparently was; the girl Steve was in love with. But was I, though? All those things my dad said, I believed them but a lot of time had passed since then, and a lot of anger and distance had built up. There was a chance he didn’t even feel that way anymore. There was a chance he didn’t even mean it when he said it.

Two days before Halloween, Robin asked me what I planned on doing. She told me she was set to go trick or treating with Eddie and Candy, and they both wanted me to tag along. Apparently it was a tradition for all of them, and then afterwards they’d leave her with Wayne and do whatever adult activities they could find.

“Oh, Robin, that’s sweet but isn’t that you guys’ thing? I don’t want to intrude,” I spoke into the receiver of my cell phone from Steve’s bedside.

“Y/N, shut up. You’re just as much a part of this group as any one of us. And Candy specifically asked for you. She said she thinks you’re nice.”

I sighed, “Okay. Fine. It’ll have to be after visiting hours, though, I can’t leave Steve here alone until I absolutely have to.”

“Great! We’ll all meet at Eddie’s after visiting hours and go from there, sound good?”

“Yeah, where does he live now again?”

“He has a trailer, not far from the cabin. I’ll send you the address. Oh, and you have to dress up. Participation rules!”

“Robin, I am not in a dress up mood,” I scoffed.

“Y/N,” she sighed, “Nobody wanted to talk to you about this because we didn’t want to make you feel worse than you already do, but everyone agrees that you need a distraction. Something to cheer you up.”

“Who is everyone?”

“Me, Eddie, your parents. Wayne. My parents. The other guys from the station. Everyone. Steve is in a coma, but you’re not. You’ve got to carry on living.”

“So you’ve all been talking about me?” I asked, “Robin, if this is about me not being at the music shop I-“

“It’s not,” she assured, “Don’t even worry about that. I told you, stay with Steve however long you need and come back when you’re ready. Your job will be there. I’m not hiring anyone else, even if you don’t come back until he wakes up.”

I sighed, “Fine. You’re right. I’ll dress up and try to have the best time I can.”

We hung up, and I couldn’t help but feel the faintest spark of excitement, followed by guilt. I desperately needed something, anything besides a stale coma ward room. The only company I’d had that whole month was the people who visited Steve, never surprised to find me there perched beside him.

I didn’t have a lot of time to throw a costume together, but I managed. I was quite proud of it, actually.

I changed in the en suite hospital room bathroom, looking myself over in the mirror, cringing at the awful fluorescent lighting. I still looked cute though, or at least I thought I did.

I walked out of the room and did a little spin for Steve’s lifeless form, pretending he could see me for the sake of it.

“How do I look?” I asked, then followed up with, “I’m gonna pretend you said I look great.” I giggled at myself and sat back down beside him, “Only about five minutes until they kick me out. I wish you could come with us tonight, it would be so much more fun with you. This is my first Halloween here in years! Remember the last one we spent together? Oh, it was so much fun. Much better than that year’s Christmas party. I still cant believe you punched that guy!” If he’d been awake, he would’ve laughed at that, and I would’ve loved the sound. “I dressed up as an angel again. You liked my costume so much that night, I just had to recreate it for you, even if you won’t see it. You always did like me best in white. If Robin was here, she’d say it’s because white makes you think about us getting married. I don’t know about that, though. But I know I like that look you give me when you see me in it.” I sighed at the dead air between us, giving his hand a tight squeeze, “I wish you were awake, talking back to me. I can’t make it much longer without you, Stevie. I miss you, so much it’s killing me. I wish I hadn’t screamed at you that day. I should’ve just been honest about how I feel instead of lashing out about it. I know that now, but it’s too late.”

“Y/N,” the nurse, an older woman I’d become quite familiar with, interrupted, “Finish up as quick as you can. Visiting hours are over.”

“Yes ma’am,” I smiled as she walked away. I turned back to Steve and left him with the words, “I love you. I’ll see you tomorrow” and a kiss on the forehead.

Once I got to Eddie’s, I was struck with a bolt of pride at what I saw. He didn’t live in a trailer park, he owned his own trailer on about two acres of land. It was a nice one, too. One of those remodeled units with nice painted shutters and clean vinyl. And beside it was a little shed, overflowing with Candy’s toys and such. I imagined it was supposed to be his before she overtook the space with her things and smiled.

He opened the door, a grim look on his face and his daughter crying in his arms.

“Oh goodness, what’s wrong?” I asked.

“All month she’s wanted to be a fairy. Now, the day of halloween right before we go trick or treating, she wants to be a princess. The costume store is closed, there’s nothing that’ll make her happy.” He sounded simply exhausted, and my heart squeezed with pity.

“Hold on,” I offered, running to my car and rifling through a bag in the backseat full of rejected costume items. In it was a golden tiara with pink jewels on it, cheap but cute and it matched what Candy was wearing. I brought it back and presented it to her with a, “Tada!”

Her little eyes widened, taking in what I handed her as Eddie helped put it on her head. “Thank you!” she squealed.

“You wanna take the wings off or leave them on and be a fairy princess?” I asked.

“Leave them on,” she smiled, “Why don’t you have wings? You’re an angel! We could match!”

“I was supposed to but they were itchy,” I cringed and she giggled, reaching out for my hand. She jumped out of her dad’s arms and dragged me into the living room.

“Come look at my bag!” she ordered sweetly, and I obliged, taking in the pumpkin shaped monstrosity with a smirk.

“She’s showed me her bag ten times already, wonder how many times she’ll show it to you?” Robin chuckled, and I followed.

“It’s cute!” I assured.

We all piled into Eddie’s car, me in the back with Candy because she wanted to sit by me.

“How’s Steve?” Eddie asked on the way to whatever neighborhood we were going to.

“Same as he was a week ago,” I shrugged, casting my eyes down.

“Well same is better than worse, right?”

“I suppose so.”

Robin and Eddie exchanged a look, but then they dropped the subject as if they were silently agreeing it was better not to talk about it.

We arrived at a small park a few minutes later, parking next to a bunch of other cars and getting out. We looked silly, for sure. An angel, Jessie from Toy Story and what Eddie called a “sexy mechanic” but was really just him in blue coveralls and a wife beater, except the cover alls were tied around his waist. I suspected he pulled a couple random items from his closet and threw them together, but I had to admit, he looked nice. The short hair worked better for him than I would’ve ever thought, and while I missed his curls, he looked handsome and grown up. I was struck again with that bolt of pride for him and all he’d accomplished.

Candy wanted to stick beside me, so I held her hand as we walked from house to house. One house we came to was particularly nice, a sign out front that said “the Byers” in a nice cursive font. We knocked and, once the door opened, I gasped at who I saw.

There was Nancy, a baby in one arm and a bowl of candy in the other. The baby was cute, too.

Her eyes got a little wider when she saw me, “Y/N!” she exclaimed, “You’re the last person I expected to see tonight!”

“Hey Nance,” I grinned, “I know! I moved home a couple months ago!”

“That’s great! For good?”

“I think so, yeah,” I nodded. Things between Nancy and I had always been a bit awkward, granted I hadn’t talked to her in years or seen her. When she dated Steve, I tried to like her but she was always a bit cold towards me and then when she cheated on him I just gave up trying. Now, I didn’t know the dynamic, but it didn’t feel awkward at all. Just unfamiliar.

“Oh Steve must be thrilled about that. Does he know or did you get here after the accident?”

“No, he knows. I was with him that day, actually, until he got called into work.”

“Oh… Me and Jonathan went to the hospital to visit, but the nurse said a girl was there and I didn’t want to interrupt. That must’ve been you?”

“Yeah, I’ve been there every day. But you wouldn’t be interrupting anything! You should come by tomorrow, I think he’d like that!”

“Okay! We will!” she smiled, handing a chocolate bar to Candy. I couldn’t help but notice the flashy ring and band on her hand as she did so, and I grinned, happy they made it.

“That was weird,” Robin mumbled as we walked away.

“Not really,” I shrugged, “I figure it’s time we buried whatever hatchet there was. Guess we’ll see how it goes tomorrow.”

We hit a few more houses, and Candy got some really great stuff. Full sized bars, stuffed animals, all the fancy little treats. I was actually impressed. Finally, we reached the end of the street and she looked exhausted.

“Tired?” I asked her, giggling as she leaned into Eddie and almost fell over. She nodded, reaching up for him to pick her up but he was already carrying her bag and a separate bag full of extra stuff.

“Here, I’ll get you,” I sighed, and she nodded, reaching up to me instead and letting me carry her back to the car.

Once we were all settled in and on the way back to Eddie’s, we all breathed out a sigh of relief.

“I love doing this every year but I’m so glad it’s over,” Robin stated, and we all nodded in agreement.

“At least it passed faster than last year. Steve always wants to stop and talk to everyone he sees, it’s so exhausting,” Eddie chuckled.

“Yeah but I missed him, though. I wonder what he would’ve dressed up as?”

“Probably whatever Y/N told him to.”

I perked up at that, “I would’ve forced him to be a devil. Cause I’m an angel.”

“That would’ve been some freaky se-“

“Robin!” Eddie scolded, “Candy is in the back seat!”

“She’s sleeping, you nitwit. Obviously I would never say that if she could hear me.”

I looked over and, sure enough, she was dead to the world, her head reclined against her car seat.

We made a quick stop at Wayne’s, and Eddie gently carried Candy inside then returned to the car. “Where to now?” he asked us.

“24/7 liquor,” Robin perked up and suggested, eliciting smiles from both of us.

“Wanna get drunk in the hospital parking lot so Steve can kinda sorta be with us?” Eddie asked me, smirk on his face, and though the idea was admittedly flawed, I couldn’t help saying yes.

Eddie got a case of beer for himself, Robin bought a bottle of rum and I settled on two bottles of wine. I was positive none of us would drink all of what we had, but regardless, we were prepared.

Once we pulled into the parking lot, we all settled in comfortably, seats leaned back and limbs thrown wherever they fit. Surely there was some camera watching us and we’d get in some kind of trouble. None of us cared much. Eddie was a fireman, so he went hand in hand with the hospital and the law, and he had our backs. The whole fire station had our backs, really. They’d all grown a liking to me over the time I’d spent in that hospital room, visiting and talking with them like they were family or old friends.

I unscrewed the cap of my moscato and started with a big gulp, earning a giggle from Robin. “I know things are tough, Y/N, but they can’t be that bad.”

“I gotta drink double in Steve’s honor!” I exclaimed, taking another gulp. They followed suit, taking big swigs of their own.

“So. When the dingus pulls out of this coma, what happens?” Robin asked me suddenly.

“What do you mean?”

“Well you had that whole falling out with him and now he definitely knows beyond the shadow of a doubt how you feel, and I hope by now you know how he feels too.”

“I’m still not convinced he sees me that way, guys. A couple of cryptic comments does not a love story make.”

“Yeah, but it’s not just cryptic comments. He’s flat out told people how he feels and they tell you and you don’t believe them.”

“Maybe,” I shrugged, thinking it over, “I don’t know, I’m hoping he’ll get better and we’ll just forget all about it and pretend it never happened.”

“What if he does something crazy like propose marriage?” Eddie mused with a chuckle.

“Nah,” Robin shook her head, “Steve wouldn’t do that. Not right after getting out of a coma. My bet is they date for a year and he has us help him plan some extremely elaborate proposal and he’ll get me to help him pick the perfect ring.”

“Probably. What do you think the wedding would be like?”

“Guys!” I huffed, “I’m right here!”

“Well then tell us, what kind of wedding would you want?”

“Are we seriously talking about this?” I scoffed and they nodded, so I sighed and gave in. “I want a Christmas wedding with lots of red and green, lots of Christmas lights, a big beautiful tree. Christmas themed food and drinks. I want it to be like a winter wonderland.”

“I think Steve would like that. Then again you guys have never disagreed on anything.”

“That’s not true!” I half shouted, “We disagree all the time!”

“About what?”

“Well… about…. things!”

“What things?”

“Well I can’t think of them off the top of my head.”

“Sureeeeee,” they laughed as we all drank some more.

The night passed by entirely too quickly, but it was the most fun I’d had since Steve got hurt. I really appreciated being invited, and the fact that they’d been there for me in what was such a hard time.

The next morning, I showed up at the hospital bright and early, dressed comfy and warm. I looked a little worse for wear from the tiny hangover I was sporting, but it wasn’t bad at all. Just a little messy hair and dark circles under my eyes.

“Morning Steve,” I grinned as I sat beside him, grabbing his hand like always. I proceeded to tell him all the details of the night before, sparing none on the off chance that he could in fact hear me and wanted to know how Halloween went without him. “I’m probably gonna have to tell you all this again when you wake up, huh? Well it’s a good thing I never get tired of talking to you.”

“Y/N?” a voice called from behind me, and I turned to see Nancy, baby in her arms.

“Hey Nance,” I smiled.

“You look better than I expected. No hangover, huh?” she returned the polite gesture.

“No, not today. I’m surprised, I drank a lot!”

“I’m glad you all had a good time! A few years ago I would’ve offered to join the fun but those days are over for us.” She gazed sweetly at her baby and I couldn’t help but grin.

“Well, I think it’s great that you’re focusing on your family! I always knew you’d be a great mom. You just have that way about you.”

“Yeah, well, I hope so! It gets difficult sometimes and I feel like I don’t do enough but then he smiles at me and speaks his baby gibberish and the world fades.”

“He’s so cute,” I pouted just looking at his smooshy face, and she raised a brow at me.

“Wanna hold him?”

“I - I couldn’t,” I shrugged sheepishly.

“Believe me, you could. I hold him all the time, I love giving other people a turn!”

“Well… if you’re sure,” I reached out as she placed him securely in my arms. I melted instantly, rocking him gently back and forth. “He’s so perfect, Nance. I just adore him.”

“Just wait til you and Steve have one. It’s gonna be a whole different level of adoration.”

“Oh - me and Steve, we’re just friends,” I laughed her words off like they were nothing.

“You’ve both been saying that since high school and it’s not any more believable now than it was then.”

“You, you dated him in high school. Why would he date you or anyone else if he liked me?”

“Because he’s stupid. Believe me, he wished I was you. Why do you think I hated you so much?”

“I just assumed you didn’t like my personality.”

“Y/N, you’re like, the sweetest girl ever. Hating you was hard because you never gave me anything to work with. But I knew how he felt about you, so I couldn’t exactly like you either.”

“Well, I think you’re exaggerating. He loved me as a best friend. Or a sister, even.”

“Best friends and siblings don’t sneak off in the middle of the night to skinny dip together, you weirdo.”

I laughed at her bluntness, “I guess that’s true. But either way, your feelings for Jonathan are what broke you guys up. Not Steve’s feelings for me.”

“You’re right, and I wouldn’t have it any other way, but you should know that when I started caring about Jonathan, I stopped disliking you. Mostly because I finally understood how Steve felt. How awful it can feel to be with the wrong person. But I acted on it, and Steve never did. I think that says a lot about the kind of man he is.”

“Well I never disliked you. Not even when you cheated on him. I mean, I wasn’t thrilled with you, but I didn’t like, curse your grandchild’s cow or anything.”

“You’re so weird,” she laughed, walking over to Steve’s bedside. “I hope it works out for the two of you, I’d love if you stayed. Maybe we could finally have a chance at being friends?”

“I’d like to be friends,” I nodded.

“I hardly get to have intelligent conversations these days, with Jonathan working all the time. Let alone girl talk!”

“I have Robin but sometimes girl talk is hard with her. She’s very… unconventional. In the nicest most loving possible way!”

“I know what you mean. All of my friends have kind of embraced the party girl life, and the few that settled down have more kids than I do so they’re always busy.”

“Well I’m always here. And I never do anything after visiting hours, so I could come over one night if you wanted and we could have a good old fashioned sleepover?”

“That would be perfect! Maybe you could bring Eddie’s daughter? I have a feeling she never gets girl time and I bet he’d love the break!”

“Oh, that would be fun. And she likes babies so she’d definitely keep him occupied.”

“How about next week sometime?”

“That works for me.”

We made some more small talk, and we even included Steve in some conversations, though he couldn’t respond. But then the baby got fussy and she had to go. The next week, though, we had a sleepover just as we had planned, watching silly movies and doing a makeover with Candy. And after that, Nancy and Jonathan were invited every time we hung out.

Another month passed and suddenly it was Thanksgiving. My parents tried to convince me to spend it at home and not the hospital, but I wouldn’t budge so instead they just moved their celebration to evening instead of day so that I could join in.

I hung out with Steve for the whole day, then headed to my parents’ house to see the entire family already there.

“Y/N!” They all exclaimed when I walked in, and I gave everyone a quick hug. It was nice to see them all, I just wasn’t in much of a people mood, so I immediately sat down on the couch when greetings were over and leaned back into the cushions.

“How’s Steve?” Mom asked me.

“He’s okay. Still the same.”

“Oh honey, he’ll wake up soon. I just know it!”

“Maybe,” I shrugged, resting my eyes and waiting for dinner to be served.

Finally, a few minutes later, everyone piled their plates high with food and settled into the living and dining room.

I was interrupted in the middle of eating, though, by my phone ringing. It was the hospital. I dropped my plate on the table abruptly and answered, “Hello?”

“Miss Y/L/N?”

“Yes!”

“I was just calling to let you know that Steve has just woken up. You’re welcome to come and see him, the doctors are in with him right now but we’re allowing you to visit when they’re done if you’d like.”

“I’ll be right there!”

I didn’t even hesitate, grabbing my things and heading for the door. “Steve is awake,” I rushed out an explanation to my expectant mother, “I have to go.”

“Well do you want us to come with you?” she asked.

“No, stay and enjoy the holiday! I don’t want everyone to have to go home early!”

“Okay, well… call and update us! Give him our love!”

I nodded with a quick smile and left, gunning it to the hospital.

I rushed up to the coma ward, and the second the nurse saw me, she smiled.

“I’ve been waiting for you! The doctors are almost done, you can sit in the waiting room while they finish up!”

I nodded, walking to the small waiting room and eagerly pacing back and forth. It felt like it took forever for the doctors to walk in the room, but when they finally did, I breathed a sigh of relief.

“What’s going on? Is he okay?”

“He’s doing remarkably well. The only issue is that he doesn’t seem to remember the day of the accident at all. He says the last thing he remembers is putting up your Halloween decorations.”

“Oh,” I furrowed my brows, “But thats normal, right? And not a bad thing?”

“Not bad at all, and completely normal. With the kind of trauma his body went through, it’s natural that his brain suppressed it. It could eventually come back, or it could stay in a vault forever. But regardless, you’re welcome to see him now for a few minutes. He’s perfectly healthy from what we can tell, but we’ll be keeping him for the next two weeks just to make sure he doesn’t fall back into the coma.”

“Of course. Thank you, doctor,” I grinned, racing past him and into Steve’s room.

“Stevia!” I squealed as his eyes landed on me. He gave me a smile, the million dollar kind, reaching his hand out for me.

“There’s my girl,” he sighed, voice as content as can be and his eyes settled on me like they never wanted to look at anything else.

“I can’t believe you’re awake!” I grinned from ear to ear, sitting in my regular spot beside his bed and grabbing his hand.

“I’m so glad to be. I didn’t know how much longer I could listen to you talk and not be able to answer.”

“You could hear me?”

“Vaguely. Like it was a dream, but I caught some of it I think.”

“Oh, that’s so good! That means I wasn’t talking for nothing!”

“The doctors told me you didn’t leave my side the whole time I was here. Is that true?”

My cheeks flushed red and I stared down at my lap, “Yeah, I suppose it is.”

“There’s nobody else I would’ve wanted here.”

I couldn’t help the giddy look on my face, “A lot of other people visited too, you know. The whole fire station rotated in and out. My parents came a lot, and Robin and Eddie. Even Nancy stopped by with her new baby.”

“Nancy, huh? How is the baby anyway?”

“He’s the cutest thing ever.”

“I bet he just loves you,” he smirked, giving my hand a slight squeeze.

“I think he does,” I shrugged.

“My parents didn’t come by?”

“No. I’m sorry, they didn’t wanna interrupt their vacation. They called the hospital and put me in charge of everything.”

He nodded, “I expected as much.”

“Let’s talk about happy things, you just woke up!” I sighed, “Happy Thanksgiving!”

“Happy Thanksgiving,” he responded, “Wait, it’s Thanksgiving?”

“Yeah, and my entire family sends their love. They wanted to come but I didn’t wanna overload you with people.”

“Well… I’m really glad I got to spend it with you. Our first Thanksgiving together in what, 7 years?”

“Yes,” I nodded, “but you did miss Halloween. It was a lot of fun but I wish you’d been there.”

“I wish I’d been there, too. I bet you looked good in your costume.”

“Oh, shut up,” I laughed.

“No, really. You gotta wear it for me one day so I can see what I missed out on.”

“Well, you always did like me in white,” I smirked, batting my eyelashes at him.

“Oh, it was white? Damn, I really did miss out.”

“I’ll put it on for you as soon as you get out of the hospital.”

“Or you could wear it here tomorrow?”

“Wear a halloween costume to the hospital? That’s silly!”

“But it’s what I want!”

“Ugh,” I groaned, “Fine, but you owe me!”

“We can just call it even since, you know, you left for seven years and all.”

“But I also completely ditched my life so I could sit by your bedside crying over your lifeless body for two months, so…. We’re already even. You still owe me!”

Just then, the nurse walked in with an abrupt knock, “I’m sorry Y/N, you gotta go. You can come in again tomorrow during visiting hours. We’ll update you if anything happens tonight.”

“Okay, I’ll just say goodbye and be gone in a second,” I politely stated, and she nodded, leaving us in privacy. “Guess I have to go for the night.”

“It’s okay, I’ll see you in the morning, right?”

“Of course. And you can always call me if you need to,” I gestured to the bag in a corner of the room. His phone and charger were in it, and I quickly retrieved them for him, plugging the device in.

“Thank you. I - I don’t know what to say, I don’t know what I did to deserve you staying with me this whole time.”

“Steve,” I stopped him while he was ahead, “I’m never leaving you again.”

He looked like he might cry, overwhelmed with emotions and the stress from the coma. I leaned down and kissed his forehead, as I had been every night, and left.

Senior Year Christmas

The music was loud, drowning out all rational thought. I heaved out a deep sigh, wondering again why I let Steve talk me into having a party at the cabin. “It’ll be so much fun!” He’d said, his words a clever guise.

Now, where was he? Off in a corner talking to some guys he knew, while I sat on the couch, bored out of my mind, sick from the smell of shitty booze. He’d spent most of the night with me, as he always does, but I sent him away. After all the party was his idea, and I didn’t want to ruin it for him just because I wasn’t in a social mood.

“What’s got you so down, Y/L/N?” Danny Bolen, a boy from my grade, asked me, planting himself on the couch beside me. Danny was nice, the kind of guy who lent me pencils and complimented me in the school hallway.

“Just dreading cleaning all this up,” I shrugged, clinking my solo cup to his and taking a big swig.

“Harrington is gonna help, huh? And that band girl you always hang out with? And maybe that Munson kid too? I always see you around him.”

“Yes, of course, but they’re all drinking more than me, so..”

“Well I’d be more than happy to stay and help, too, if you’ll let me.”

I glanced at him to see only sincerity in his face, and I smiled, “That’s really sweet, Danny, but you don’t have to do that.”

“Nonsense, I want to. Especially if it’ll get you in a better mood, this is your party after all! Now what do you say we get you a fresh drink and try to have a good time?”

I nodded slowly, letting him grab my hand and hoist me off the couch. He walked with me to the kitchen and, once in the doorway, the people around us started to whoop.

“It’s mistletoe!” a girl yelled out, and I looked up to see that it was, in fact, mistletoe. I let out a sigh, glancing at Danny, and he looked just as awkward as I did.

“Who even put that there?” I asked him with a small giggle, and he shrugged. My mind drifted to Steve, wondering if he was witnessing the spectacle. I didn’t see him in the group crowded around us. “We don’t have to kiss, it’s just a silly tradition.”

“Yes you do! You HAVE to, those are the rules!” a random guy said, and I rolled my eyes.

“I’m fine with it if you are,” Danny said, low enough for only me to hear. After glancing at the eager people around us, I gave a curt nod.

He leaned in, and his lips touched mine just long enough for me to know it didn’t feel right, but I didn’t have to suffer it for long. There Steve was, pushing us apart, ripping down the mistletoe and throwing it in the trash.

“What’s your problem, dude?” Danny furrowed his brows and angrily asked Steve.

“No problem, it’s just a dumb tradition. I don’t think Y/N should have to kiss someone just because of a plant.”

“Is that it? Or do you just wish you’d been the one under it with her?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I just… I want her to make her own decisions.”

“Steve,” I interjected with a hand on his arm. He turned to me sharply, expectantly. “I did make the decision. I told him it was okay.”

“You what?” he spat, “So what, you’re just kissing everybody now? Did Eddie get a turn? Bobby?” He turned to the closest guy to us, “What about you? Did you get a turn?”

“Steve!” I hissed, “Stop!”

“Seriously, man, just back off,” Danny spoke up, stepping between me and him.

“Oh, what a hero,” Steve rolled his eyes, shrugging off my arm, “The party is over, go home.”

“The party is over when she says it’s over,” Danny challenged.

“Danny, stop. Just go. All of you, please. Everybody.”

People filed out in droves at that, Danny lingering until the place was nearly clear and pulling me gently to the side.

“Are you okay here with him?” he asked me, nodding his head at Steve who was glaring intently in his direction.

“I am. He’s just angry for some reason, he’ll calm down when I talk to him.”

“I think I should stay here, you shouldn’t be alone.”

“I’m not alone.”

“Just in case he tries something, I-“

“Hold up,” I scoffed, “What are you trying to imply? I told you he’s just angry, he would never do anything to hurt me.”

“I’m sorry, I just don’t trust it. He’s not a good guy Y/N. I know you’re close or whatever but, listen, I’ve liked you for a long time and if you’d just realize he’s a piece of shit you’d see I could be so much better.”

“Get the fuck out of my cabin,” I growled, taking a step back.

“I’m just trying to-“

“I know exactly what the fuck you’re trying to do, you’re trying to weasel your way into my pants by being a hero. Well I don’t need a hero, I’m perfectly safe here with Steve and you can go the fuck home,” I went off. He looked taken aback for a moment before it turned to anger and he aggressively grabbed my arm, pulling me into him.

“I’ve been nothing but nice to you and you’re going to treat me like this? Do you even realize how much better I could do than you?”

“Let me go!” I squealed, trying to shake off his hold but failing. Steve once again interrupted us, though, pushing Danny roughly off of me.

“She said go the fuck home. Do I have to make you or are you gonna do it on your own like a big boy?”

“Fine, fuck this. She’s not pretty enough for me to care.”

He tried to storm out, but Steve grabbed him by the arm and yanked him hard, forcing him to turn around. Once they were face to face, Steve landed a hard right hook on the shorter boy’s jaw.

Danny grabbed the side of his face roughly, spitting out blood and glaring as he left. Steve turned to me, giving me a once over, eyes landing on my very red arm.

“He grabbed you that hard?” he asked, voice soft and sweet just for me, “Let me see.”

I pulled roughly out of his reach, “You need to go home too, Steve.”

“What?”

“It was your idea to have this stupid party and you ruined it! Why? I don’t understand what the big deal about me kissing him was!”

“I just-“

“Don’t even! You slut shamed me, too. YOU slut shamed ME! You have girl after girl falling at your feet and I haven’t dated anyone, not one single person, since the day I met you but you’re slut shaming me like I go around kissing ever man I see? Fuck you! Leave, now!”

“Y/N, please,” he huffed, hand resolutely on his hip.

“Steve, you made a scene. You embarrassed yourself and you embarrassed me by acting like a complete idiot. Thank you for getting him off of me but I don’t want you here.”

Our screaming match ended there, as he sadly cast his eyes downward.

“I’m sorry, I just… I just wanted to help,” he sighed, “I’ll see you later.”

As he walked outside, I was hit with a pang of guilt. I turned to Eddie and Robin and they both had shocked looks on their faces.

“I’m doing the right thing, making him go, right?”

They shrugged and I groaned, my head falling back. I knew I couldn’t go through with it.

I ran outside, just as Steve was climbing into his car. I was surprised to see it was raining, somehow I hadn’t noticed. I suppose I’d been distracted.

“Steve!” I screamed over the storm. He turned to me, expectant. “Come back!”

He did as I asked, “You changed your mind?” he inquired as he approached me.

“I know it’s bad at home. I’m not sending you back there. Not tonight.”

“I can go. I know you want me to.”

“No, I really don’t, I just want to know why you acted that way.”

“I don’t know why,” he shrugged, cupping my face in his hands and I shoved him off again.

“That’s bullshit, Steve,” I scoffed.

“I’m sorry, I just… I don’t know what came over me. I just got so angry when he kissed you, I don’t know why. I shouldn’t have said what I said. I don’t know what’s going on with me.”

“Well you need to figure it the fuck out because I don’t want this complicated mess. And if you can’t, I’ll leave.”

“What?”

“I’ve applied to a lot of colleges, Steve. Not all of them are close. I have my pick of them, too.”

His jaw hung open for a moment before complete melancholy overtook him, all the light draining from him. “Please,” he whimpered, “Don’t leave me. I promise I won’t ever act like that again. I swear, I’ll be better, I’ll do better for you. Please don’t leave me.”

He pulled me into a crushing hug and I sighed, giving into him like I always did. He was shaking against me, his clothes soaked and I was sure mine were too. He seemed so close to breaking down, terrified I would really leave him. Terrified to be without me. Despite it all, there was nothing better than his warmth wrapped around me.

“I’m not going anywhere, Steve.”

He held me for a while longer before pulling away slightly, “You’re freezing,” he commented, “Let’s go inside and get you some warm clothes.”

I nodded, following him back into the cabin and into my heart.

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