#fire when ready

So I'll be 29 here in a few days and I was just diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and I'm just....really anxious?? I knew something was going wrong, I've been knowing. It's been bad...really bad (although this past month has seen improvement) but I didn't expect THIS? On one hand, I'm like 'okay, well, now we know what we're dealing with, and it's going to be okay, and there's nothing wrong with feeling upset and afraid, just move forward' And on the other I'm a literal shaking mess feeling so self-conscious, so distraught, so shocked, it's like I'm walking into a building with a big flashy neon sign that reads 'PANIC! AT THE NIKKI' and the only thing inside the building is a duplicate version of myself crying hysterically. My dad is mentally ill. His sister, his brother, mother, grandmother, cousin. All severely mentally ill. I suppose I was foolish to spend so many years thinking I 'wasn't as bad as them', or had 'escaped' a painful family legacy of psychological struggle. I'm also not sure why I'm posting this. But it helps, somehow....so I am.

I feel you’ll all be incredibly displeased to find that I have single handedly revived HEWWO mr obama in my house.