#findyourbliss

April 1st-2nd, 2019:

It’s only two days into the week but it’s been 45 days since I had a day off without being horribly sick, and ya girl is TIRED. Yesterday we finished up at Powell (over at 75th and South Shore), they gave us a perfect room with a beautiful view overlooking the lake, it was so sad to leave it 😭

The only downside to this school was that most of us have no cell service in the building which was an issue a couple of times, but overall it was an awesome location. Jess had to call off Monday morning due to pink eye; so instead of having an easy and quick day for the 51 remaining, we had a long and busy day with only two hygienists and stayed from 7:45 til 3 to finish with no breaks. On top of that, we found out mid-morning that we had a last minute school scheduled for the next day so my hopes for two consecutive days off were foiled 😬

Shannon said he couldn’t work because he had to pick up paperwork from a school (although I’m pretty sure it was really because he didn’t want to be in charge of everything since it was just Finkel, Guadalupe, and one assistant that’d be going in), and I agreed to come in even though I was desperate for a day off.

So today the three of us went to Young Women’s Leadership Academy, an all girl high school in Bronzeville, and it actually ended up being a really good day!! Our contact was so helpful, the students were very nice and cooperative and grateful, and we were able to pack up and head out by 12:30.

On our way out, a photographer started talking with us asking about our program and she informed us that the school is closing at the end of the year. It’s so sad since the area it’s in is really rough compared to a few blocks away where it’s being built up, and I’m sure this gentrification is the cause of it – forcing everyone who can’t afford the rising rent and taxes to move away. Shit like that makes me so upset, it hurts those who have lived in that area for their whole lives just to accommodate newcomers with money 🙄

Despite the sad news, it ended up being a much better day than I’d expected; and when I got home I popped in earplugs and took a two and a half hour nap 😴 then I watched some Pretty Little Liars (my current obsession) and took an hour long epsom salt bubble bath 🛀

Well... here I am... starting a blog.

I have had friends ask me to share more, because I have been known to be very raw in my writing of emotions, the ups and downs of life and even the heartbreak I have suffered. I love sharing. Why? I have wondered this myself. It’s embarrassing having to explain that while, yes, I have been posting photos of my wedding countdown, that we have broken up and the wedding is off. No, it’s not postponed, it’s cancelled. I wish I could say I’m talking about a friend or a movie reference. Unfortunately, to my dismay, this is about me. Yet, I still have this fiery passion to share my story with you. My whole story, my victories & heartbreaks, my funny and my not so funny & even the embarrassing. I find myself landing on that big question again. Why?

The best answer that I can think of is this: still I rise.

I am drawn to that statement so much so, I have it permanently inscribed on my arm.

Still I rise. 

I share because I will always rise again and I’d hate to leave out the happily ever after of my story. I can’t end it on, “the wedding is off”. I’d be a terrible writer if I left my curious readers on such a poor note. It’s as if I see my life as a novel and I am the reader on the edge of my seat waiting to see what is next. Come what may, I’ll be okay. I know that rhymes and may sound cheesy but I sure get a kick out some good ol’ cheese. The point is, no matter what happens I will come out on top because life is too short to hold me down. I never believed it until I was at my lowest of lows and rising up was my only option.

In my experience, some people will choose to remember the lows and remind you of them. They’ll stand far enough away to simply observe you, waiting for your next failure. You’ll feel their eyes on you and you’ll see the judgement in their faces. Just continue to rise baby, and soon you’ll see the judgement turn into jealousy. At that point they will have no choice but either to join you or watch you rise above so high they can’t even see you anymore. These people are not your friends, whatever they do or say has no affect on your story.

I will continue to post photos, videos, writings and blogs about my life because everyone’s life is a story worth reading. Sharing raw thoughts and emotions is, in my personal opinion, the epitome of vulnerability. And guess what?! Healing comes in the depths of vulnerability, and thriving within my healing is all I’m here for. Every day that I get to be earth side, shining my light & love is another magical day and I choose to live it as such.

peace, love, & magic, 

-ae