#figtreeandvine

tienriu

Sam, you should definitely see if he has a business card. This is the start of your ability to say "I know a guy".

Funnily enough I did get his name and phone number mainly because while the installation and haul-away was paid through Best Buy, the electrical outlet was his own work so I had to venmo him the money. In keeping with his whole theme, the venmo payment took like twelve tries to go through. I would have paid him in mortal coin if I’d had $100 in cash lying around.

allmyfansquees

I suspect what you'll do is go and spin the court stories which will be sufficiently magical that when you return you will have white goods that will ALWAYS WORK. bargain!

Honestly, a year of storytelling which I like anyway in return for perpetually functioning appliances does seem like a bargain, as long as they don’t return me 300 years in the future or something. 

prairie-grass

Sam being taken to the Court. 'Can I take my cryptids?', The fae take one look at Dearborn and Polk, who stare back with a Particular Look and somehow manage to communicate 'If you take our Dad we won't forget your face.' The fae nod, 'Uhh yeah please do.'

Isn’t it a fae thing that they can just return you like, a day after you left? They’d be okay without me for a day or two, as long as I got to make sure their water dish was fresh before I left. 

figtreeandvine

All the fair folk want is stories, so you're golden. Just make sure the Seelie court gives you internet access and a place for Dearborn and Polk. On second thought, just ask them if they can make your apartment part of Underhill.

Oh now see this is a great suggestion, just install a doorway to the other realm in my condo. Probably raise property values too. 

voyageboots

Plot twist he's part of whatever mob you got your parents fridge from. They heard you had dishwasher issues

“The crew over in Jersey sent me. They said you needed something....handled.” 

“Yeah, it’s my dishwasher.”

“No sweat, easier than cement overshoes.” 

shirokou

VISIT FROM THE GENTRY.

I was extremely polite! You have to be polite to repairmen and powerful otherworldly spirits. 

daroos

yeah you wouldn't have gotten an outlet installed for <100$ from anybody else - good move

Certainly not without another month-long wait. I looked at rebooking at one point last week to see if I could move my installation date forward, and they were like “Hahahah no how about we move it out to December 20th?” 

goodbyeomelas

I would SAY you should put some cold iron on that thing just to be Sure, but I also think my bread machine is probably demonically possessed and I'm worried if I get it exorcised it won't work anymore, so y'know

Honestly, a good bread machine is worth the occasional wail of the damned or slightly bleeding kitchen wall. If my dishwasher is touched by the fae or possibly a portal to their realm where they will get my dishes really clean I’m okay with possibly having to trade in my firstborn. This dishwasher is that good. (Also suspiciously silent.)

weilongfu

But Sam, are you sure your supernatural installation guy's name is Earl, or was he telling you he's an earl of The Court?

Oh, but if Askaver-Shivadlakia competes in Eurovision there has to be a running thing about how they can't afford to win! (Winner has to host the following year, as I understand it.)

Ahahahahahaha ha ha...DON’T @ ME I had in fact already written that joke yesterday

"So sour! I bet that's why we've never entered Eurovision before now. You blocked it."

"Mm, not me," Michaelis shook his head. "It's always been pure old-fashioned Shivadh arrogance keeping us out." 

"Keeping us out?" Jerry asked. Michaelis sat back, spreading his hands on the table. 

"Well, obviously, so the reasoning goes, Shivadh musicians are simply better at what they do than other countries. The assumption is that we would win so handily it would be laughable. The problem is, when you win Eurovision, you have to host it the following year. Nobody wanted to do that, sounds like an awful lot of work. So we never entered. We didn't want to put up with winning."

"I can feel my ancestors listening through me," Jerry said. 

"I should hope so, that's twelve generations of Shivadh snobs behind you," Michaelis replied.

And then a bit later, speaking with the winner of the national final: 

Michaelis smiled. "No, you'll do fine at Eurovision. Try to place rather than win. We can't afford to host Eurovision ourselves next year."

"No pressure," Caleb said, only a little bitterly. 

Oh man this ask came in SO LONG AGO and I’m so sorry I didn’t answer it sooner; I was ruminating on a lot of stuff to do with masks and wasn’t sure my theses were fully formed yet. They may still not be. But I have a hunch that there are a couple of factors in play.

So, first, in America we have a real wariness around masks and masking in a costuming sense, because we perceive masks as concealing. This is actually a relatively recent cultural development brought over from Europe. Prior to the Renaissance and I would posit up into it, especially in the Mediterranean, theatrical masks were not seen as concealing an actor but rather as revealing a character. This is actually still the premise of a lot of masked theatre in Asia, where they tend to be much more comfortable with masks in general. In Europe, this drew on ancient ideas of the external appearance representing the internal person (which gets into some really dicey ableist areas but we won’t go there right now). 

That changed around the time that masquerade balls became popular in part because they were condemned as orgies of sin and vice by conservative religious groups, who came from a different cultural context in many ways. And that attitude pervaded a lot of Europe and, through colonialism, a lot of the western world, aided by the Puritan settlement of America, since Puritans were against theatre in general (surprisingly not because it was considered somehow blasphemous, but because it wasn’t considered a productive use of time or energy). 

 Anyway, all that is to say that especially in American culture you have this pre-existing belief that if you can’t see a person’s face you can’t interpret their emotions, particularly the eyes and mouth, which is why clowns freak us out -- not because their features are concealed, but because their features are exaggerated in an extremely specific way that presents one emotion even if the clown’s actual face is portraying a different one. 

So. There’s that in play, where people pull their mask down to speak or refuse to wear one at all in part because they think they’ll be muffled, but also so that they can more easily convey the specific emotions they wish to convey, which Americans feel we can’t really do if our face isn’t fully visible. (This...may be why I was confused about the whole “frown on the forehead” thing. That’s not really how American culture works.) 

But I think the creepy, dangerous view that some people hold, that they have some kind of right not to wear masks and they’re being oppressed if they’re asked to, goes deeper -- I think it speaks to the fragility of their perilous worldview.

People who don’t want to mask up also tend to be people for whom reality is a carefully constructed cushion of lies, conspiracy theories, and blind loyalty to the word of the moment, even if that word has been contradicted in the past. To wear a mask is to acknowledge an authority outside of oneself, to tacitly admit that not only is there an objective reality one cannot sway by believing hard enough, but that the reality is based on science and fact and doesn’t care if you’re made uncomfortable by it. If you have spent years, sometimes decades, believing that science isn’t real, that anything can be argued into not existing and that your worldview is the most objective and “real” one possible, to put on a mask is to acknowledge the authority of the natural world, and worse, of science that is unaffected by your opinions or feelings. 

To put on a medical mask, a mask designed for use by scientists and doctors, is to align yourself with science and medicine -- to admit that you could possibly be wrong, or have been wrong, and that it is an ongoing state, not something that will change the next time your chosen idol changes his mind about something. To wear a mask is to admit that science is real, which is terrifying to people who have built their identity around the idea that anything that makes them uncomfortable is a falsehood they can safely ignore. 

A covid mask is an admission that we cannot dictate our own reality without consequences or ignore that our behavior impacts others. Plenty of people know this already; it is a lived reality for a huge swath of American society. But a lot of fragile egos are being forced to confront their own childishness for the first time, and they can’t handle that. So they react like children do, with temper tantrums and whining. 

OMG i have that exact same dish! I use mine as a spoon rest on the stove, I didnt realize it is oven safe!

Probably it is! Mine came as part of a set along with a baking kit. I wouldn’t use them for like, super high temperature baking or anything, but they do fine at 350F. 

geekgirlfibers replied to your photo “Time to start work on mini cheesecakes for Shavuot! These are crusts...”

We're going to try to make cheese blintzes for Shavuot.

Oh man that sounds good. I haven’t had a blintz in forever. 

figtreeandvine replied to your post “About Doolittle. That movie was in turnaround hell for a while. The...”

The only ADR I know is a veterinary acronym for a common presentation symptom in cats: Ain't Doing Right. Despite the joky sound it can be pretty serious. Many cats are good enough at hiding their illnesses that "He's just act...not his usual self? Kinda weird, maybe?" can be the initial presentation for anything from cancer to diabetes. Somehow I suspect RDJ is a bit more articulate?

LOL! Well I suppose in some ways the whole movie is Ain’t Done Right but in this case it stands for Automated Dialogue Replacement, which is a bit of a misnomer -- it basically just means that rather than reshoot the scene, if the audio is messed up or just “sounds wrong” or if they want to add in a line, they have the actor come into a recording studio and re-record the dialogue. It tends to have a specific “off” sounding quality to it that’s hard to define, and sometimes it has a different sound quality to non-ADR lines. 

sabra-n replied to your photo “Time to start work on mini cheesecakes for Shavuot! These are crusts...”

Aw yiss. I'm making the cheesecake bars from Smitten Kitchen, but with peaches and nectarines on top.

Sounds amazing. I thought about doing some kind of berry topping on mine but I think I’ll just add jam if I want to feel fancy. 

lesbianlegbreaker replied to your photo “I thought today about a villanelle I had an inspiration there and then...”

I offer you the highest of fives for excel usage

I ACCEPT THESE EXTREMELY HIGH FIVES! 

madqueencrafter replied to your photo “Time to start work on mini cheesecakes for Shavuot! These are crusts...”

Ha, I have a pan like the orange one! I got it with a small pumpkin pie kit a while ago, I meant to get a second and never did.

We probably had the same brand of kit! I know they make a couple of different flavors. 

col1999 replied to your photo “Time to start work on mini cheesecakes for Shavuot! These are crusts...”

Holy... I could eat the crust alone! Now I want biscoff cookies. ��

I had no idea you were still recovering, sweetie. I'm glad to see you're doing better, but keep taking it easy as you heal. Do you have someone close to check up on you to see how you're doing? Do you have a follow-up appointment with your doctor? I know Dr. Deebs and Dr. Polka-dot are taking care of you! ^^! *gentle hug*

Oh yeah, I have friends who are checking in, and also coworkers. They know if I don’t show up and don’t call in that they need to check on me.

And I didn’t want to give anyone the impression that I’m not still under a doctor’s care! I had a check-in last week where I was cleared for everything except running and heavy machinery, and tomorrow I have a check-in to get cleared for running. “Heavy Machinery” usually means driving, for most people, and since I don’t drive that’s not as much of an issue. 

bonnie131313 replied to your post “Holy shit I am dying, you guys. This morning I was reading about...”

way back (possibly still) all the higher ups had to be able to walk into any McDonalds in their country and do any job in the place. When I was in High School I saw the guy in charge of every McDonalds in the northeast USA mop the lobby because a kid spilled a soda and the rest of us were busy. It was a horrible job but I was kind of impressed by that.

I’m pretty sure it’s still in effect, but I think for corporate particularly it’s not as, uh, strenuous as it used to be. It’s like “Okay, this week you’re going to spend an hour or two each day on the floor” kind of a deal. At least that’s my impression. 

amairawrites replied to your photo “Taking this photo is the last thing I remember doing on January 5th,...”

I’ll be honest that I’m more curious about how the kitties have responded to your concussion than how you’ve dealt with it.

I don’t know that they’ve really changed behavior much, to be honest, perhaps because home is where I’ve changed behavior the least. When I’m at home I’m usually sitting quietly anyway. :D The first 2-3 days they were pretty clingy and concerned, like they clearly knew something was up, but after that they more or less reverted to normal behavior. We’ve spent more time on the bed, because the heating pad helped with my sore muscles from the fall, and they love the bed so they’re quite happy about that. But by and large, home life is not too altered. 

figtreeandvine replied to your photo “Taking this photo is the last thing I remember doing on January 5th,...”

If you haven't already, go see a doctor again. Your word issues sound like a less severe form of my mother's aphasia--she had a stroke almost two years ago. She can speak grammatically but almost all nouns are gone--which makes actual speech...difficult. An MRI might help locate organic damage. Speech and/or physical therapy could also help.

They warned me that I might need therapy if the TBI was bad enough, but the checkup last week said that while it’s clear I’m still having issues, they’re fading about as rapidly as would be expected of someone of my age and general health. After tomorrow’s check-in I won’t have another for six-ish months unless I notice a decline or a stall in the healing, but I should be good to go. 

starkwest replied to your photo “Taking this photo is the last thing I remember doing on January 5th,...”

I feel you on the words issue. I've learned not to talk much in public. I get strange looks or people filling in the words. The meds I have to take make word memory so hard. Image association and deep breath back tracking helps somewhat. Your description of 'six degrees' is spot on. Good luck. I hope it improves for you soon.

What’s so interesting is that it’s only an issue when I’m talking -- when I’m writing, occasionally I’ll mistype a word (”might” for “my” or “attendee” for “attendant”) but I at least have all of them at my command. When I try to connect brain to mouth, something just goes awry. It’s like having a word on the tip of your tongue, like it’s not a NEW sensation, it’s just a much more common one than normal.

mangy-mongrel replied to your photo “Taking this photo is the last thing I remember doing on January 5th,...”

I would now like to put safety corners on all of your furniture

I mean, you’ve seen photos of my condo, it’s COVERED in pillows :D The doctors gave me a four page SUPER CONDESCENDING but understandably-so pamphlet about preventing tripping hazards in the home, and really “not to trip over my own goddamn feet” is what I need more than anything, sadly.

tehnakki replied to your photo “Taking this photo is the last thing I remember doing on January 5th,...”

LAWL. Oh Sam. Welcome to the brain-fucked-up club! It sucks =) Personally I agree with the super blasé emotional acceptance of injury. I've made my mom and friends cry by how casual I am about my death but *shrug emoji* it just doesn't bug me.

Yeah, I would think I’m not traumatized because I don’t remember it, but the fall isn’t the scary part for people, it’s the fact that I don’t remember it. But it’s not like there’s a gap, per se, or a blank space. There’s just a seamless transition from “taking a cute picture of Polk” to “waking up and feeling dreadful”. It’s like how you don’t normally remember the moment of falling asleep, only that moment lasted an hour and a half. 

pinglederry replied to your photo “Taking this photo is the last thing I remember doing on January 5th,...”

it’s weird reading about your word struggles bc that level of struggle is my regular adhd baseline. Was your concussion injury to the frontal lobe area?

I honestly don’t know. From the sound of it my brain just got bounced around my skull; they only did the CT scan, so I don’t think they could tell which part was actively bruised. But it would make sense, I clearly fell face-forward, and most of the bruising and scrapes were on my forehead, left cheekbone, left ear, and the area just above my left ear. 

junker5 replied to your photo “Taking this photo is the last thing I remember doing on January 5th,...”

I know you probably don’t feel “lucky” but you really are. I love how you deal with things both realistically and with your patented Sam humor. I’m so glad you are recovering, and so sorry you had such a crazy scare! In January no less!

I do feel lucky in the sense that since it happened I’ve read about a couple of people who fell over while drunk or passed out while high, bashed their head on something, and bled out before they regained consciousness. Living alone does come with that kind of peril. But I also think, you know, I was lucky to survive it and the odds of it happening again are quite low, in theory, so my guardian angel probably isn’t done with me yet :D 

yee-jun replied to your post “Holy shit I am dying, you guys. This morning I was reading about...”

Oh Boy! What A Way To Advertise A Vacancy!

Sam, that is 8 hot dogs. Please do not be consuming 8 hot dogs in one sitting (because if you do it I will want to do it, and that much hotteth dog would probably kill me)

I CANNOT EAT EIGHT HOT DOGS, that would kill anyone. I was going to cut them into bars like brownies and bring them to a potluck with dipping mustard! 

figtreeandvine replied to your photo “isitasandwich: Woven Pretzel Hotdogs. No, it is not a sandwich....”

I can see how I'd make one, but I can't figure out how you would serve or eat one. Cut it into squares? Strips? Which direction for strips?

See, I think bars, and then just for extra absurdity you eat them off china using a knife and fork. Possibly while wearing evening gloves if that’s your thing. 

yaaurens replied to your photo “Iconique. [Description: a close up of Polk showcasing her whiskers,...”

Sam. Sam. I literally reached out and booped her snoot on my laptop screen. The power of Polk compelled me.

That’s her favorite kind of snootboop, because it means nobody is touching her nose. She’s very particular about her nose :D 

pheylan13 replied to your photo “Iconique. [Description: a close up of Polk showcasing her whiskers,...”

I love that she has both black and white whiskers. Matches the nose freckles.

She used to have all white whiskers and just one black whisker, but yeah as the freckles have spread, so have the black whiskers. :D 

peoriarhetoriapeoria replied to your post “In my old job, when I worked for a different kind of nonprofit, I...”

I'm glad you've got a trained team member. I used to have to deal with anything of the sort myself, and against my call duration metric

I grew up in Lubbock, it's funny seeing it (and TTU) mentioned in one of your stories. I can smell/taste the dust and feel the sun as I read <3

It was a little strange to write about! I’ve been around Texas quite a bit of course, but never to Lubbock, and I don’t know much history of the place. So I based a lot of what I was writing on the history research I did on a town in Oregon :D 

geekgirl76 replied to your post “auressea reblogged your photo and added: ...”

*gasp* Sam, you don't RINSE your butter?! :p I was always the one on rinse and butter paddles duty becasue I was too small to churn it, but I could rinse and squish like a pro! My great uncles liked to humour us and let us "play farm" when we went to visit. Only in retrospect did I realize they didn't even KEEP milking cows at that point, and they bought in cream specifically for us to churn.

I never knew you should! Churning butter is great for kids because it keeps them occupied -- a friend of mine always brings a jar full of cream and a clean marble to let the kid churn with when she babysits :D 

figtreeandvine replied to your post “auressea reblogged your photo and added: ...”

According to my mother's stories, an additional step is to knead the butter in cold saltwater. The idea is to get as much of the whey/milk solids out as possible. Otherwise the butter can go rancid or even mold. (My grandparents kept a Jersey. Butter making was not a hobby.)

I suppose it’s fortunate I can keep it in the fridge, where it’s at least less likely to happen. I’d no idea leaving a little buttermilk in could do that! 

hxans replied to your post “drgaellon replied to your photo “@tehnakki, have I ever showed you...”

Do you know the trick with parchment paper is to roll it out across the pan with enough spare to fit the sides, and then cut at the corners the depth of the dish? Then when you press it in it will stay in shape and and side bits usually fold around each other so there's no gaps in the corners.

Oh yeah, I’m just too lazy to deal with it sometimes :D 

celeste-de-la-mancha replied to your link “Six Harvests in Lea, Texas”

ooh! i was just thinking about this story the other day, and I was maybe going to ask you about it! perfect timing. i have to finish a thesis by monday but i will read it as soon as i'm done.

Good luck with your thesis! I remember those days....

fatfemme-inist replied to your photo “Mine also advise dragging your favorite toys everywhere with you and...”

If my sibling and I are quarantined in separate cities should I attempt their murder from afar or find another form of amusement?

I mean, figuring out a remote murder ought to keep you busy for quite some time :D 

davisoer5 replied to your photo “@tehnakki, have I ever showed you the results of my first attempt at...”

I am intrigued at why these biscuits are considered cursed. Is it the mysterious 'fermented butter"?