#daroos

Fic Cover Remakes | Taste of Home by @daroos

Bonus: An overhead view of my book press aka a large rock with copper and gold flecks I borrowed from dad, cushioned with a couple of offcut boards, a cutting mat and a Star Wars encyclopedia.

Bonus bonus: Some process photos

tienriu

Sam, you should definitely see if he has a business card. This is the start of your ability to say "I know a guy".

Funnily enough I did get his name and phone number mainly because while the installation and haul-away was paid through Best Buy, the electrical outlet was his own work so I had to venmo him the money. In keeping with his whole theme, the venmo payment took like twelve tries to go through. I would have paid him in mortal coin if I’d had $100 in cash lying around.

allmyfansquees

I suspect what you'll do is go and spin the court stories which will be sufficiently magical that when you return you will have white goods that will ALWAYS WORK. bargain!

Honestly, a year of storytelling which I like anyway in return for perpetually functioning appliances does seem like a bargain, as long as they don’t return me 300 years in the future or something. 

prairie-grass

Sam being taken to the Court. 'Can I take my cryptids?', The fae take one look at Dearborn and Polk, who stare back with a Particular Look and somehow manage to communicate 'If you take our Dad we won't forget your face.' The fae nod, 'Uhh yeah please do.'

Isn’t it a fae thing that they can just return you like, a day after you left? They’d be okay without me for a day or two, as long as I got to make sure their water dish was fresh before I left. 

figtreeandvine

All the fair folk want is stories, so you're golden. Just make sure the Seelie court gives you internet access and a place for Dearborn and Polk. On second thought, just ask them if they can make your apartment part of Underhill.

Oh now see this is a great suggestion, just install a doorway to the other realm in my condo. Probably raise property values too. 

voyageboots

Plot twist he's part of whatever mob you got your parents fridge from. They heard you had dishwasher issues

“The crew over in Jersey sent me. They said you needed something....handled.” 

“Yeah, it’s my dishwasher.”

“No sweat, easier than cement overshoes.” 

shirokou

VISIT FROM THE GENTRY.

I was extremely polite! You have to be polite to repairmen and powerful otherworldly spirits. 

daroos

yeah you wouldn't have gotten an outlet installed for <100$ from anybody else - good move

Certainly not without another month-long wait. I looked at rebooking at one point last week to see if I could move my installation date forward, and they were like “Hahahah no how about we move it out to December 20th?” 

goodbyeomelas

I would SAY you should put some cold iron on that thing just to be Sure, but I also think my bread machine is probably demonically possessed and I'm worried if I get it exorcised it won't work anymore, so y'know

Honestly, a good bread machine is worth the occasional wail of the damned or slightly bleeding kitchen wall. If my dishwasher is touched by the fae or possibly a portal to their realm where they will get my dishes really clean I’m okay with possibly having to trade in my firstborn. This dishwasher is that good. (Also suspiciously silent.)

weilongfu

But Sam, are you sure your supernatural installation guy's name is Earl, or was he telling you he's an earl of The Court?

yep that's an allergy alright

I almost wish I was sorry about it or something.  But nope.  I just really, really hate the taste of mustard (probably the body’s defense mechanisms and whatnot) and I am happy to have an easy excuse to never consume it again.

Except for the mustard powder on Gardettos.  I still love Gardettos.  Most of the time.

yeah pro tip - doctors are not actually the expert on you no matter how doctory they are

(I say as a doctor)

i mean, i would like to be optimistic with this one, considering he’s the dude who diagnosed my fibromyalgia, aka the actual first doctor to listen to me since i was 17, but like, also

lol yeah the norse side of things have been rife with 88's since forever - it's disgusting

I HAVE MASTERED EMULSIFICATION. It turns out it’s super easy when you actually have a food processor with a lid spout. 

This is toum, a Lebanese garlic sauce that @daroos introduced me to. It’s essentially mayonnaise that uses garlic instead of egg as the binder -- you make it by chopping garlic, then blending it until smooth with steady alternating drizzles of lemon juice, way more oil than you think you should, and ice water (I used the Serious Eats recipe here). I may add mustard, since the flavor of this one is not super complex, but for a first try it came out really great!

And I got to christen my new mini food processor with something appropriately horribly smelly. :D