#fightingback

m y s t i c a l m e r m a y 2 0 2 0 jonahpearl 2/9 mermays STOP LOOKING BACK, MOVE FORWARD, DARLING.

Co-Written with @LilWarriorGal

Payne: The sound of a fist hitting a heavy bag could be heard outside the gym.  Payne like to workout when the others were sleeping.  It was peaceful to be the only one in the gym and no one there to try to make small talk with.  Small talk wasn’t Payne’s thing and she couldn’t figure out why so many wanted to make it.  She preferred discussing things in depth unless it had to do with her love life and it was her twin asking her.  

She hit the bag again, as she tried to figure out how she would one day tell Vishous that she was attracted to Rehvenge.  It would surely fall like a lead balloon and her twin would list off why she should stay away from him.  A smirk came to her lips as she realized that he would be against anyone, even if it was his best friend.  Maybe she should get Butch to help her pull a prank on Vishous and let him think she liked Butch.  The look on her twin’s face would be priceless.   Then she heard the doors shut and she stopped hitting the bag.  As she turned around, she saw Bella had entered the gym.  That was unusual, the shellans rarely came down to the training center.  Payne smiled and she could tell Bella had something on her mind, so she picked up the towel she had on the bench and wiped her face off.  “You look as if you wish to ask me something.”  She moved closer to Bella. “Please ask.”  She motioned to the bench for Bella to take a seat and then Payne sat on the floor.  Her attention was completely on the female sitting in front of her. @BellaRAhgony 

Bella: *I went to search for Payne or Xhex on my way towards the underground gym. Surely I would run into one or the other. They could be found regularly working out or sparring with that trainees.

Opening the door to the gym, I can across Payne first working out with a punching bag. Taking her suggestion, I sat on the bench contemplating how to ask her for help. I just decided to just come out with it.*

I wanted to see if you had some time to train me in self defense? I’ve been having these nightmares this last year and Mary thought perhaps if I could defend myself against lessers that I would have more control over my dreams.

*I blurted out my problem and hoped Payne would understand and would even consider training me. I wasn’t sure what her schedule was like and what her time commitments were. I knew she was still getting used to being on this side away from the Sanctuary.*

Payne: Quietly she listened to Bella, she understood her issue.  Payne feared little, but she had two fears - losing her twin and her mahmen locking her away again.  The Other Side was not somewhere she was comfortable with and at times she had nightmares, but that was her secret for now.  

"I will make time. We are a family here and you are mine sister by choice. I can start showing you some things you can do today if you'd like."  

Payne stood up, tossed the towel on the floor by her bottle of water.  "Are you only wanting to learn hand to hand or weapons too?"  Weapons would take some time, but if she wanted to learn those Payne would ask V to make Bella a dagger weighed for her and her alone. 

Bella: *Payne agreed quite easily to my surprise and I was quite relieved that I ran into Payne first since she was readily eager to teach me.*

Thank you for agreeing, I really appreciate it. Perhaps we can revisit the decision of weapons. I’ve only ever fired a gun and used a dagger once. [I shivered a bit as I remembered when that happened.]

Um … I’m also not dressed, but I’m sure Fritz can find me something and we can meet back in a few?

*As I got dressed into some yoga pants and a tank top that Fritz magically reappeared with when I asked for them. He really was a magician. My heart was beating my chest in nervousness for no reason that I could think of … I laughed to myself. It was Payne … not a lesser. I shook my head at the ridiculousness. I walked back to the gym to meet Payne.

Payne: Payne felt that Bella was nervous, so she decided to take a more gentle approach then she would with a trainee until Bella was comfortable.  “Let’s start off with just some stretches and then hit the bag so I can see how you punch.  From there we can move to the mats and see how would come against me.”  As they stretched Payne watched her, she understood Bella’s fear.  She hadn’t been through what Bella had, but she knew what it was like to fear someone or something. Payne dealt every day with the fear of her mahmen locking her up again.  With the knowledge that her mahmen thought she shouldn’t be around others.  That she was too dangerous.   When they were done, Payne moved to the bag and held it.  “Bella hit it as hard as you want.  You won’t hurt me.”  She smiled. “Give it all you got.  Don’t hold back.  Think of as the face of whomever you fear.” 

Bella: *We started stretching in ways I hadn’t done in quite a while since being pregnant with Nalla and since she’s still a toddler, there is never enough time. Mary was watching Nalla right now so it was one of the few times that I had to myself.

My body felt loose and relaxed after stretching and I felt less nervous now. I hit the bag and probably not in the correct format. It felt strange to hit it. I have never hit anything or anyone before. I lived a pretty sheltered life because of my brother. I was always protected and looked after and never wanted for anything before my transition.

I tried to concentrate as I hit the bag a few more times.*

Payne:  Bella 's form wasn't great, but neither was Payne's when she started. However, Bella could pack a punch. This part was more for building up muscle in her arms, so she could hit harder.  

"You're doing fine. You hit harder than I thought you would." Bella hit it again. "In self-defense, are just trying to buy yourself time to getaway. That is what we are going to focus on. If you want to learn more, that will after you can stun me enough to get loose and away."

When they started some hand to hand in a bit, she didn't want Bella to hold back.  "Let's move to the mats and see how you would fight me if I grab you from behind."

Bella: *My heart is pumping as I finish punching the bag and we move towards the floor mats. I wondered how this would work. I never had to go up against anyone before. 

I took my stance on the floor mats and tried to concentrate on Payne’s movements. We dance around in a circle for a bit. When she was able to come up from behind me. The feel of an arm around my neck and shoulders quickly push me back in time to when David had caught me inside my house. Then the memories started to bombard me of the underground pipe, the cold, the pain when he struck me.

Before I even realized it, Payne was shaking me at my shoulders in front of me.*

Hey Bella. Bella. Bella!!! You froze, what’s going on?

Payne: When the female froze and gave her no resistance, Payne had released her hold and moved in front of Bella. Bella snapped out of it, but her eyes still showed the panic that had taken over. Payne smiled softly.  

"Let's sit. I can tell that something surfaced in your mind. Tell me about it. The more you face that what caused you to panic the more you can use it to fuel your ability to protect yourself." 

Payne let her anger and fear drive her in her fighting. She channeled all her rage against her mahmen to heighten her skills. Not to mention sometimes when she hit the bag she imagined getting even with her mahmen.

Bella: *I shake my head of my memories and realized that I would need to tell her what happened to me. Though it has been a few years … lately, it seems like it was yesterday.

We sat down on the mats and I took a few deep breaths and took courage from thinking of my Zsadist and told her my story from the night David had abducted me and the nights that followed. I avoided too many details about the odd showers but I did explain his weird affection for me … or for his late wife which I figured he must have killed in his rage and when he apologizes when he tends the wounds he inflicted on me.

It felt so weird to replay the whole story … I almost felt detached in a way but I could still feel his hands on me especially after a nightmare.

I told her that it was Mary’s idea that perhaps self-defense would feed into my self-preservation and help my dreams.* 

Payne: Quietly Payne listened to Bella. She could tell it was taking a lot of courage and strength to speak of this. It amazed her how cruel others could be and claim it was because they cared.  From the story, Payne realized that this David had been cruel before he was turned into a lesser. 

Gently she touched Bella's arm before speaking. "Mary is correct. Learning to defend yourself is good.  It will build your confidence in this world and your dreams." She stood up. "When you hit the bag this time, think of it as David's head or body. Hit him with all the rage you have toward him. Hit him for taking away your peace, for causing you to fear things and for just for being the vile man he was." 

Later, Payne would explain that self-defense was for herself to fight back and then buying her time to get away. The last thing Payne was trying to do was turn Bella into a warrior.  What she wanted to do was ease the female's mind and return her some balance into her life. 

Bella: *As we continued to practice, I thought about David and the fact he kidnapped me because I reminded him of his deceased female then he took #Wellsie’s life, took her away from @TohrSASRP and #JohnMatthew. My anger continued to fuel my energy as I pounded the sandbag, sweat dripping down my face and neck as the frustration, pain, and fear kept my adrenaline going. 

I didn’t realize until much later the sores I created in my hands and feet. As vampires, we are always in our prime so unlike the Brothers we don’t typically work out. But I didn’t feel anything now as I kept the pace and pounded my frustration on the sandbag.* 

Payne: When Bella was hitting the bag, Payne released and walked over to her. "You may not realize it yet, you've changed in the few hours we have been in here. That defeated look you had on your face when you came in is gone."  

Payne walked to the bench and grabbed two towels and tossed one to Bella. ' Anytime you want to learn more, just let me know."  She touched Bella's shoulder. "Will always have some fear, but that is a good thing. It keeps you alert and vigilant. What you won't have is a paralyzing fear.  Bella, from now on you are the one in control, not the ghosts that have tried to haunt you."  

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