#figgy rambles

no, have never read, and I do apologize to those read-before-the-show folks, I have seen many folks not ~loving~ the adaptation

HOWEVER I have not read and I LOVE it,,, big fan,, hits all the right bits for me,,, etc etc etc

Anyway, have been catching up on thebshow cuz I didn't watch for a bit and I just gotta say... LOVING the Will/Angie/Nico/Betty found family/trauma fuxking complicated relationship but so much love shit idk

Also super obsessed with the Faith/Charles arc like UGH OHMYGOD

Working has exacerbated my pain like crazy, I'm so exhausted all of the time, and it's making everything so difficult. I struggle to respond to messages from friends, and take care of my house. I feel like I've barely been here because I'm just working and sleeping. There are things I want to watch and revlog and conversations I want to be a part of and continue! But it's so so so hard when im so so so exhausted.

I need to find a job that isn't in kitchens and I want desperately to leave my current job, but im so worn out and pained that looking and applying is a monumental tax. A real catch 22 I do think.

I just want a break. Some relief. I know i have it a lot better than many people, but Just Not Being Homeless isn't exactly top-tier living lol

So many things i want to do, but can't. It will change eventually, it will get better eventually, it must.. right?

Not unexcited about work the next two days, and am going to go finally see The Boy and the Heron on Monday with one of my coworkers//friends, so that is going to be lovely

I just ... bruh. Have so much money anxiety rn (I am so so so so poor lol) and as much as I'm looking forward to my capstone I'm also SO Completely Terrified as well lol

Cleaned out my freezer and fridge, threw away a ton of shit, did an insane amount of dishes, took out like 3 bags of trash and recycling, picked up/tidied the livingroom and vacuumed all the floors and rugs!

But then I sat down 🥲 I mean I def deserved the break and I made myself some food, but now it's 3:08 and I rly need to get up and continue working but it's hard to get started again :(

I work the next two days and the semester starts on Monday and I still need to clean out our study, email my advisor, and figure out some other class shit, and respond to a job-ish situation 😮‍💨

I'm trying to feel good about the work I've done already so far, but my anxiety is just ~crazy~ rn (plus I feel like I really fucked up yesterday but nit getting anything done, but this ANXIETY has been... so much 😭)

anyway

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.I feel like I was gonna say something else.. this can't be the only point of this post, it's not even worth making a whole post just for that tf ??