#fictivez

will be making spn moodboards prolly….

🔗- my tiktok video

“have you ever been lucky?”

(make sure ur sound is up) tiktok is super mega broken so im posting my edit of danny and his system here too. 🥹🤞🏽

hankcon edit i did :3c song is send your love by adele

i will be doing a moodboard for them later

winterspider oneshot // 2.3k words

autistic winterspider +heavy divergence from canon (divorced stony and ironstrange implied)  +avengers tower large found family +mentions of anxiety and death (briefly and halfheartedly) +self indulgent +soft/fluff heavy

summary: bucky barnes lays awake in bed with a sleepy peter parker in his arms and anxiously overthinks his relationship with him and how he wants to go forward which ultimately causes an uneasy conversation.

James laid awake, unable to sleep. He always got like this… but this time it was different. Too much on his mind? In a way. I guess he was sort of contemplating his actions. He didn’t exactly regret what he did, and in comparison to the worst things he's ever done….? This doesn’t really accumulate. But he felt that same dreadful feeling he always felt after he had a nightmare— terror, or something of the sort. He pulled the smaller, skinnier body towards him. ‘God, he's so small.’ James thought. ‘I really need to get over myself…’ he shook his head softly, so he wouldn’t wake up the smaller one. Who, quite frankly was wrapping himself around Barnes like a boa. a Leg stretched out over his thigh,  a hand gripping at his chest… He glanced towards the crumple nearing his chest on his black base-layer tee, feeling his neck fold as he contorted his head sideways to get the right view. The boy was gripping him like there was no tomorrow, he could tell you that much. He knew he couldn’t tell Steve, because he’d get mad for sure. He might be Rogers’ best bud, but he's not exempt to his criticism. But this was different. Fuck, those words kept replaying in his mind. ‘This is different.’ He couldn’t talk to Tony without getting a bad attitude at the very least, and its *too bad* that this someone is dear to Tony. That guy Tony's always with now he doesn’t even really know, some floating warlock.. wizard.. whatever. He would rather not talk to John, he and Sam aren’t really speaking right now because of this and has enough to deal with on her own. His head fell back as he threw a hand through his hair with a long, lowly sigh. ‘How do I tell him we can't continue this? and that this was all ju-’ his own thoughts were interrupted with a soft groan and a tiny mumble he couldn’t make out. “..Hm?” James remarked.

  “mmn..? you okay..? youre… moving around so much tonight..” The boy mumbled softly, pressing closer to Bucky. God damn it, it drives him crazy when he does that. It's frustrating, but so damn sweet. Makes Bucky feel sick a little. ”I.. Well.. I was just.. thinking about Rogers, Tony.. The other one. your Mr.straight … the stepdad or whatever.” He says plainly. Barnes wasn't exactly lying, he was telling the truth. just not telling him everything. He cares about this young buck too much. He's been through so much heartbreak already, with this uncle, then his auntie, not to mention his biological parents too. He wouldn’t be able to forgive himself if he did that. But he hates committing, scared he’ll break, hurt them because he can't always emotionally be there. So many things ran through his mind as he awaited a response. ”huh.. what about?” Peter paused, looking at Bucky with the blankest expression. “oh!  wait, about us! you worry about that a lot.. Steve wouldn’t be too angry. He might not understand at first but he would understand. He's a father to me and your best friend, Bucky.. Why would that go so wrong?” Bucky rubbed his face agitatedly, not at Peter but at the situation. “I don't want to, pete. You don't understand what I'm saying. It's definitely not the same when it's your friend's son. And, even if you are miraculously correct.. That doesn't mean Tony and his boyfriend won't send me to the gallows.” Peter thought carefully, his eyebrows furrowing together as he thought. Bucky felt his face heat up as he stared down at the young man. As Bucky stared into his brown hair and dirt colored eyes, he couldn’t help but smile a little. Jesus, he felt smitten. This was bad, so bad. Publicists.. well, the daily bugle mostly- they would have a field day with this if they'd ever caught it on photo. Bucky felt like he was shrinking as he un-tensed his heavy shoulders. When he came back to reality from his dozing off, he saw Peter again. Laying all over him with that face of straight concentration. Before Bucky could get out any more sweet thoughts, he was interrupted by the tired voice of the lad below him.

”Well, Stark will definitely get mad. I don't even think he likes you too much. But Mr. Strange… he probably doesn’t even think about you. I mean, he's kind of a cold guy even to Mr. Stark. Might just be in his DNA which reminds me abou…” eventually Bucky found his ears tuning out Peter's ramblings as he stared into his face, nodding a little bit to convey he was listening. Or, he was trying to but he's not really too good at it. ‘God fucking damn it, this fucking kid… such a pain in my ass. I feel nauseous.’ a pain in his stomach lingered as he tugged Peter towards him. They were face to face and Bucky's breath was hot against the boy's face as he looked at his small lips. He felt himself silently chuckle with a slight exhale through the nose as he gathered Peter's chin to pull him into a kiss (which also ultimately stopped the kids bitching, too.) Not that he didn't ask for it, he literally opened up the conversation that way. He just can't help but be annoyed at how seeing Peter speak or just talk makes him feel uncomfortable. It makes him feel warm, sweaty, nervous all over, and even gives him pins and needles. He couldn’t cope with how much he really felt over such a lanky, small thing. When he pulled away, Peter looked as if he had been playing in someone’s powder blush. ”S-So.. Uhm..” Peter stammered out as he stroked Bucky's vibranium arm, “what’d you… you do that for..?” he squeaked out with barely any breath left. Bucky tried not to laugh at how starstruck the boy seemed that they kissed, as if it was the first time. It made him feel a weird feeling in his chest that felt large.. and warm in a sort of heavy fuzzy way. “because i wanted you to shut up,”

 James couldn’t help but smirk at himself. That smug grin from Bucky didn't help with Peter's flushed condition. “well… i want to kiss again.. cause i think that was good, when we did that.. yeah. so.. can we?” Peter shook the words out of his mouth with a quivering, pointed finger. Bucky's smirk wiped off his face at the request. ‘Does he have to ask for everything? I'm not his father.’ he shook away his negativity, he cant help it. He’s been up all night ‘cause of how head over heels he is for this boy, it’s not a surprise he’s salty. “Yeah yeah, jesus- stop asking for everythin,” he mumbled as he kissed the boy again, this time more passionately. His tongue made its way into Peter's mouth without any forced entry. pure and softly, they enveloped tongues. as bucky leaned more into it, the boy let out a whimper as he gripped at Bucky. While they pulled away, a string of spit was shared between their tongues before splitting abruptly. James casually and swiftly wiped the spit from Peter's mouth before doing the same for his own. “better now? no more parent talk, okay? I've had enough right now.” And boy, did that sure shut Peter up. Peter curtly nodded, squeezing himself impossibly closer to Barnes. He squeezed the younger one's leg, an awkward gesture but he’s trying to be affectionate. He aimlessly patted Peter's thigh as they lay there. "well…" The boy's face contorted, his mind obviously running through possibilities and how to go about the conversation. James loved watching Peter think. Seeing his brows furrow… The way he darts his eyes around the room to find something to focus on. He knows Peter hates staring into people's eyes, yet he was the opposite. Barnes did *not* understand how exactly it can be uncomfortable for some people. But he knows that's not why Peter hardly even noticed the staring cause the boys got autism.. ADHD, or whatever they call it. Bucky was unable to deny that he found this one… sweet, comforting, and charming in an awkward-nervous animal kind of way.

Peter though, he fiddled with his hands as things ran through his head. His loose curls dropped into his face and he stared into the wall behind Bucky. His mouth fell agape a little which told Bucky that he was in deep thought. As Peter endured his running mind, he tried to make some sense of what to say. ”I just.. its- its that…”* He let out, glancing towards Bucky's expression, which on the outside seemed mostly monotonous. This made Peter nervous. He witnessed his own body heat up, as he began to sweat a little. The older man's hand slid up his thigh and to his shoulder. He rubbed Peter softly, squeezing it comfortingly as well. Peter loves that, and he knew it. ”I ain’t mad, doll.  I know you care about it, I do too. Promise. Now, say what you want before I change my mind..” he claims, which was coming out softer than usual… Only to be interrupted by his gruff exterior sliding back into place, like a glass plane. Peter twiddled his fingers for a while, then started biting on his own fingernails absentmindedly before he articulated his  postulation ”I'm an adult, Buck..” Damn it, that nickname… Anything but that. It pulled at his heartstrings in a tender and bittersweet manner. Barnes bit his lip, contemplating what to tell him. ”And- It doesn’t matter what Cap thinks, Mr. Stark, or Strange. Because what matters is that we like each other." They sat in silence, both of them looking towards each other. ”S-So.. I guess what.. I'm like- trying.. or.. I'm getting at here is- Do you like me?”

Barnes stared into the younger man's eyes blankly, seemingly empty. Then, which Peter doesn’t see super often as, he laughed. His head flopped back against the pillow as he chuckled, bits long hair tousled into tendrils over his face as he chuckled. This made Peter smile. He adored the laugh that bored out of the bigger guy, some light beam from him.. it was so strong, it was like it burned into him in a way he couldn’t describe. “Of course I do.” He comments in between snickers. James yanked Peter close. ”That's not… not what I meant. I do like you, and.. I guess you’re right… just don't tell anyone I said that.” He said, attempting to lighten the mood some. He flushes as he feels Peter giggle and lean into him instinctively as he giggles. “Hey! What's so bad about me being right? come on.. not even fair man.. at all.” he barked as he gripped at Bucky's base-layer once again. like some sort of puppy…. it was endearing, jovial— sweet. just as a dog. If Peter was any dog he’d probably be a dark golden retriever.. So damn antsy, Bucky thought. “Honestly.. because I thought what I was doing was protecting you. I don't know.” James said lowly.. he was embarrassed- wanted to curl up and die because he was being vulnerable with someone he cares for. being honest at all was hard, this is ‘maybe i should’ve died out in the cold’ worthy of him. But just when his judgement was clouding, Peter exclaimed with a “you know.. you get so pink when you’re embarrassed. It's refreshing to see you show some emotion for once.” Bucky waved up a hand. “Don't push it, pete.” he scolded halfheartedly as he rubbed the boy's shoulder affectionately. 

Peter yawned under his touch, curling into Bucky as the older man took him into his embrace without a second thought. “mmn.. you know- can we go to that coffee shop i like in the morning..?” he asked as he nuzzled into James’ metal hand that was stretched over to stroke Peter's cheek. “if you stop being a big sap, then yeah.” he joked, monotonously yet clearly joking to Peter. “Being nice and honest with someone you love isn’t being a sap, Bucky. It's more like…  Common Decency”. the young man claimed to him. 

Bucky felt called out. He felt his face heat up with a slight embarrassment. It’s a bit true, and Bucky couldn’t deny that. Peter was just being honest with him and he didn’t realize that.  “and also… you can't make me stop,” he joked as he enjoyed Bucky's embrace, and the soothing cold from his metal arm.

“Just shut up and go back to sleep, kid.” he snarled, yet there was not much conviction in his tone. The young man blinked a couple times, digesting what just happened. ”okay,” he muttered as he snuggled up absurdly closer to the bigger man, but he remained staring up at Bucky as he laid against his chest. Barnes groaned , knowing this feat was not getting conquered today. “I promise I’ll take you. no bull.” he muttered softly, watching Peter's eyes light up and crinkle at the corners. It made Bucky's chest feel warm watching it. Something so sweet- how could he have ever imagined that he’d be here in bed with that? something so sweet, and annoying, but sweet. When Peter's eyes fluttered closed, and he relaxed into Bucky's soft embrace, he felt his heart calm itself, matching the boy's tender beat. He was so small.. so intelligent, and he was a strong hero too. He was someone who did things because he knew it was right. Although he’s awkward and nervous, he’s still so bubbly. Barnes just couldn't believe someone like him had Peter. God, he was lucky… and cursed at the same time in his mind.

He wouldn't have it any other way, either

ignore tl ///

song is stereo love i think

🔗- link to tiktok video here