#fic paragraph

It was like nothing had ever happened. Pony began to peel a banana. Johnny dealt out cards to himself and Dally. Darry opened the fridge and pulled out a beer. Steve was still holding my hand tightly.

“You hurt him, you’re done for, Randle” Pony said finally, starting to eat.

Darry nodded. “And no taking him out past curfew”

My lungs felt heavy. It was probably all the smoking I’d done over the last few days, but there really wasn’t much else to do, just read and smoke. I coughed more than I ever did today, and I could see Johnny looking at me all concerned. He doesn’t smoke nearly as much as I do, spending most of his time fiddling with the cards or a cancer stick or reading out loud. I had stopped reading as much, cause I’d be interrupted with a coughing fit.

@lipsticksandcigarettes Johnny sadness

The lot was cold and dark, and I began to regret not going to Pony’s house. Shuddering, I huddled closer to myself and looked around.

I couldn’t see anything really, just the faint outline of the fence and a couple trees. The Curtis house was only a few doors down. I debated walking it, but with the Socs sometimes it was better to stay put.

I could hear bugs around me, but only one dared to land on the arm of my jacket. A firefly.

I stared at it for a moment, it’s light flickered before going out completely. I wondered if it was dead.

It went back on, and despite myself I breathed a sigh of relief. I don’t know why I cared so much. I guess I couldn’t have much else die around me or I’d think I was a curse or something.

We were in the house alone. Everyone else was someplace I hadn’t bothered remembering. I suggested poker, Pony agreed. I had underestimated how good he got in that church. We weren’t even playing in the kitchen for once, we were in the living room, I should have been able to see him sneak anything.

He was trying not to laugh. “What ace, Steven?”

".... I knew all along [they] didn't love me, yet it still hurts. They confessed to it this morning, and ive never felt so broken, so hurt."

I knew all along Dally didn't love me, yet it still hurts. He confessed to it this morning, and I’ve never felt so broken, so hurt.

It was early morning too, the sun was barely risen when he dragged me out of bed and outside into the early air. I inhaled deeply. I wondered if that would be the last breath of clean air I’d ever take, if this was what I thought it was.

And it was of course. I don’t know what I expected from someone who didn’t like being tied down. Didn’t like expectations. Who never loved me from the start.

Thank you Rock!

Damn, he thought he was sneaky. That he could get away with it. I cursed myself out for thinking that hood could do anything but sweet talk.

I had put this cute little outfit on and gone down to surprise Dallas at Bucks, just to see him making out with some Soc looking girl. I hated him, I hated it.

Kicking a rock on the sidewalk, I turned a sharp u-turn and went back.

I considered the person in front of me.

It seemed like there were a million reasons why we shouldn’t even try. A mountain of possible ways it could go wrong. I could hurt him. That thought was the worst.

And yet he was smiling at me. Smiling with all the hope in the world, and my heart melted a little. I could hope too, maybe.