#fhogselfie

The memory faded away, and once again Malinda was left in the darkness. This time it didn’t feel like a dream, it felt real, it felt tangible, it felt warm. She felt warm for the first time since she’d entered the forest the week and a half before. Outwardly, in St. Mungo’s, there was a sign that Malinda wasn’t as catatonic as she once had been, as tears started to fall down her cheeks. “Call in the healer, Joseph. Now.” Aleena moved from her seat by the window and came to perch on the edge of the bed, taking one of Malinda’s hands in hers. “Mally, honey? Can you hear me?”

“Maliumpkin!” Joseph boomed as he entered the home, the one they’d just moved into in a suburb of London. Boxes were still everywhere around the house, and each of the Upton children had only just claimed their bedrooms the week before, Malinda completely fine with getting the smallest one because in her opinion, it had the best view. She bounded down the hall and then the stairs to the front door to greet her father with as big of a hug as her little eleven year old body could manage. “Welcome home, Daddy!” she cried happily, the biggest smile on her face. “Guess what came in the mail today, honey,” her father said in an almost taunting tone, waving an envelope in the air. “Is it my letter?!” she all but shrieked and jumped up to try and reach the mail in her father’s hand. “Go get your mother first, then we can read it over together,” he instructed, and with an excited squeal, Malinda went bolting into the kitchen where her mother was cooking dinner and tugged on her apron. “Mom, mom, mom! Dad’s home! And my letter came! The one from Hogwarts!” Aleena knew exactly what letter it was that was coming, it was the reason they’d moved to London in the first place, and while she’d been a little worried about moving so far from their home, she was excited for her daughter to get seven years of schooling at what was argued to be the best wizarding school in the world. Being a muggle, Aleena didn’t really understand what the difference was, but she did like being closer to the school should anything happen. Having to send her older three children to Salem before they’d moved had been hard each year since it was so far from Amherst.

Malinda perched in a chair at the dining table, her feet on the seat and bouncing on the balls of her feet. Her knees bumped the edge of the table constantly as she tried to keep herself balanced, too excited to sit properly. Joseph placed the letter before her carefully and sat in the chair across from her, his wife taking the seat beside him. “Okay, you can open it now,” he said, and Malinda ever so carefully opened the seal and pulled the letter out, unfolding it even more carefully than the envelope, reading it to herself first then reading it aloud. With it was a list of the things she would need for school, and Malinda got excited all over again. “I get to get an owl!” She paused and looked at her parents with wide eyes. “I get an owl right?” Her father laughed lightly and looked over at his wife who looked rather perplexed. She’d never understood why witches and wizards had owls when the post worked just as well, but what was one more owl? Thankfully, Elaine had opted for the cat option, so there would only be three owls in the house instead of the four it could have been. “Yes, you get to get an owl. Hold on though, we can’t afford to get all new things, so you’ll have to use some of your siblings’ old books and things.” Her father’s warning fell on deaf ears, though, as Malinda was already jumping down from the chair and running back up the stairs to tell her Elaine all about her letter and what kind of owl she thought she should get.

“Mr. and Mrs. Upton, please calm down. I can see what you’re talking about, but there is nothing that I can do yet. Her vitals are still strong, and she is still doing well. Her brain activity is growing, her body just needs a little more time to catch up. Let me know when she starts moving, okay?” With that, the chief healer on Malinda’s case left the room with a small nod, leaving her parents in their distressed state. Joseph recovered first and rolled the chair over from the window beside Malinda’s bed, gently pushing his wife into the seat. Aleena’s gaze never once left her daughter, waiting for one sign or another that she was waking up. Her hand still squeezed Mal’s, but there was no squeezing back, her skin still as cold as it had been when they moved her to St. Mungo’s. The only sign of movement was the visible shiver that ran through her body, though the healers had already declared that a symptom of the dementor attack.

Malinda was fifteen and she had just seen her big sister graduate from Hogwart’s School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Her spell was hardly impressive, and she swayed a bit on stage before being shuffled off and back into her seat while she waited for the rest of her class to finish their final examination. To her right, Malinda could hear hushed whispers of her parents, but she wasn’t paying attention to what they were saying. She was still staring in awe at her big sister. That was going to be her in two years. She was going to be sitting where Elaine sat, doing what Elaine did, and becoming an adult. She was scared and excited all at the same time. Elaine turned to look back at her family, and Malinda waved enthusiastically. She got nothing in return except a faint smile. It was like Elaine wasn’t even looking at her, like she was looking through her. She’d seen the same glassy look in her sister’s eyes a lot more often in the last six months than the last two years combined, but Malinda didn’t think there was anything wrong. There couldn’t be. Elaine was her big sister, she was almighty and strong and impressive and amazing and everything that Malinda wanted to be one day.

Malinda shivered in her seat, and she looked around again, wondering if anyone else had felt the cold that was starting to sink into her bones. This wasn’t right, there was something wrong. A little voice in the back of her head nagged at her to get the memory right, that there was something off about it, but Malinda genuinely couldn’t figure it out. Everything seemed normal, but the day wasn’t as happy as it should have been, it wasn’t as happy as Malinda remembered it to be. Maybe this was a dream after all. She stood from her seat and excused herself to go to the bathroom, and no one even looked in her direction. This was wrong…

In her room, Malinda’s brow furrowed just in the slightest, and if her mother hadn’t been looking at her so carefully, it probably would have gone unnoticed. Another few tears slipped free, and Aleena leaned up to wipe them from her face. “Joseph, should we get a nurse at least? I think she’s having some sort of fit in there,” she said worriedly, but her husband shook his head. “Give her time, Ally,” he reassured her, and stood behind her, gently massaging her shoulders, hoping that would make Aleena relax a little. For as worried as he was about his youngest daughter and now youngest child, Aleena was easily ten times as worried. It had been an hour from the first tears to the change in her facial expression, at this rate, logically, she wouldn’t be waking up for a while, and Joseph didn’t want to add more stress to the healers trying to wake her up or Malinda’s fragile state of mind and soul.

Time flashed again, and Malinda was standing in Hogsmeade. It was hotter than hell, and here she was, standing in a flannel and black jeans. What had she been thinking? Right. It was laundry day, and this was all she’d had available. “I know it’s summer and all, but we’re in the British Isles, isn’t it always supposed to rain? Where’s the cold?” she grumbled, rolling up her sleeves as she did so. “Seriously, could do with a little cold right now,” she heard a boy mutter, presumably meant to be under his breath, and she chuckled a bit. “I don’t think you sounded bitter enough there, buddy.” She shook her arms a bit to settle the sleeves and checked the time before looking back at him. “You wanna go get some ice cream or something? Cold to combat the unnecessary heat?” Food had been her number one priority after waking up from her nap and someone just as displeased with the weather as her had to be good enough company. “U-uhm...uhm sure,” came his answer finally. When he agreed, she smiled wider and nodded her head once in approval. “Great! I’ve been wanting to try out this cute little parlor for a while,” she said as she started down the street, waving for him to follow her. “I’m Malinda, by the way. What’s your favorite ice cream flavor? My mom always told me you can a lot about a person by what kind of ice cream they like.”

The boy tugged at his sleeves a lot, but Malinda didn’t make a comment on it. “Oh, uhm, salted caramel,” he got out. “Salted caramel? Really? I definitely would have pegged you as a cookie dough or moose tracks guy. But salted caramel is definitely a good choice. Personally, I’m a big fan of birthday cake, but only when it’s not my unbirthday. On my birthday, anything with fudge or brownies is my favorite,” she responded cheerily. “Oh, uhm, I’m PJ...by the way…” It almost sounded like he wasn’t sure about his own name, and her head tilted a bit in interest. “PJ. Is that short for something or did your parents jump on the bandwagon a while ago with the two letter names that don’t actually stand for anything? Not that that’s a bad thing, of course, I’m just curious.” That was when she saw the sign for the ice cream parlor, and she got a bit of a skip to her step. “I’m really glad you agreed to come with me. Ice cream is so much better with company.” Malinda was getting a bit of a sense that she was kind of bombarding the boy with her presence, but he hadn’t run yet, so that had to be a good sign, right? “PJ is, uhm… They’re my initials. My, uhm...my full name is Pete Jeterson, but… everyone calls me PJ,” he explained, and she nodded her head. “Well it’s a pleasure to meet you, PJ.”

It was weird, this memory was more distant than the other once, more like a dream like the last one had been. Instead of Malinda seeing through her own eyes, she was watching it unfold before her as though she was just a spectator. It made her feel like she was watching someone else’s memories. Another shiver ran through her as she realised she was intruding on her own memories. She wanted to be a part of the scene that unfolded before her, she needed to be a part of the scene that unfolded before her. That was her memory, and it felt like it’d been ripped from her. 

Another visible shiver ran through her body. It was happening more often now, and even Joseph had agreed with his wife and said that they should call in a nurse to keep an eye on her if she made any progress. It wasn’t much longer before Malinda’s hand twitched in her mother’s. “I’m going to go get the healer, Mrs. Upton,” she assured Aleena before she had a chance to say anything and darted out. “It looks like she might be waking up, honey,” Joseph said reassuringly, taking a seat in his seat again. He was visibly relaxing, glad that something finally seemed to be going right after nearly two weeks of no information. Aleena, however, was more alert than ever, making mental notes of any changes that happened in her daughter.

Malinda needed to wake up, she was sure of it. This was all a dream, it wasn’t memories anymore. They weren’t hers, there was something wrong. She knew her sister’s graduation had been nothing but happiness, she remembered her father being there in the park with them and for tacos and ice cream later that night. She remembered zero hesitation in her parents’ eyes when she asked about owl. They were the smallest details, but she knew they were wrong. Deep down, she knew. If she hadn’t felt so disconnected, she wouldn’t have thought to delve deeper, but there was something wrong with the latest memory. It was right, there weren’t any inconsistencies, but it hadn’t been hers. She had just watched it happen. She needed to wake up, she didn’t want to be here anymore.

She closed her eyes tight and waited a few seconds, hoping that when she opened them again, she’d be in the real world again and she wouldn’t be stuck in her own head anymore. But instead of being awake, she was in the dress she’d worn to the Wizard Olympics Ball, the one that was far too stuffy, but honestly, it did look good. She made her way toward the hall where it was being held and met PJ just before heading it. “You, uhm, you look good,” he commented with the smallest hint of a smile, to which Malinda nodded her thanks and responded in kind. As they headed inside, he felt like too many eyes were on her all at once, and she wanted to shy away, hide against the wall and drink everything that was in the flask hidden in her purse. She’d come here for PJ, and she’d be damned if she left him alone. Besides, he didn’t seem to be all that opposed to spending time with her. Standing off to the side honestly felt more awkward than being in the middle of everything, so they made their way out to the dancefloor. It was clear that PJ was in his head still, but Malinda was determined to try and get him out and into the real world with the rest of them. “So how are you faring with all of this?” she asked, hoping that talking would help bring him to the present. “Honestly? Not great, but I’m making it work,” he assured her as they continued to move to the music. It was hardly the first time they’d spent time together, but for some reason, it felt different this time. She felt more at ease and relaxed around him, and more like everything was starting to fall into place. It was like she’d all but forgotten that he could die still in this stupid tournament. For a brief, beautiful moment, it was just the two of them, talking, smiling, dancing. And then he took her hand. He took her hand. And Malinda felt her heart swell in her chest. The PJ she had met only a month or so before had grown to trust her and be her closest friend. And deep down, a part of her acknowledged more.

“It feels good to do what you want, doesn’t it?” she asked as they escaped the stuffiness of the ball and headed outside. “What do you want to do now?” Malinda looked at him expectantly and a bit hopeful, looking forward to spending the rest of the evening with him. Except he wasn’t looking at her. He wasn’t holding her hand anymore, he’d pulled away completely. And when he did look at her, she wilted. There, plain as day on his face, was the expression she’d seen before from a few people when she’d first started going to school. That she was “less than” because of her family’s middle class status or the impurity of her blood or the reputation that her siblings had left behind them. “We can’t be friends, Malinda. Do you have any idea how much of a mistake it was for me to be seen dancing with you tonight? It was because I pity you, of course. It’s not your fault you were born a halfblood.” It was PJ’s voice, but it wasn’t his words, Malinda was sure of it. But the words had sliced her so deeply, she couldn’t even look at him anymore. She looked to her feet and nodded, as though what he said made total and complete sense. “I just...never thought you’d be the type of person to say these things. Peej, we’re friends,” she pleaded before she could think. “I can’t say what you want me to. Goodbye, Malinda,” he responded without any emotion in his voice, turning on his heel and walking back into the hall, leaving her alone in a dress she hadn’t wanted to wear and shoes that were killing her feet.

Malinda could feel the hot tears running down her cheeks, but she ignored them, looking after PJ for a moment before turning and running in the opposite direction, losing her heels a few steps in. She abandoned them, not caring if she lost them forever, needing to just run. Run fast and run hard and pretend this had never happened. The voice in the back of her head nagged at her again, reminding her it was just a dream, it wasn’t real, but it had felt so real. His words rang in her ears and broke her heart. But if it wasn’t real, why couldn’t she wake up?

Again, she closed her eyes, willing herself to wake up. Wake up, wake up, wake up!

Finally, Malinda’s name was called, and her hands started to clam up. This was it, time to show everyone that she was meant to be graduating with the rest of her friends. As she stepped onto the stage, she let her wand fall into her hand from the holster fastened to her arm, her hand gripping it so tightly, she was sure she’d break it. As soon as she stepped to center stage, the work around her started to go dark, fading into a starry night sky then darker still.

For the first time in a long time, Malinda felt like she’d gotten enough sleep, and the darkness around her enveloped her like a blanket. As she looked around, though, she didn’t recognise anything. It looked like she was in a room alone. There was a weird warped spot off to her right that looked like it was kind of like a skylight rather than a window, and she pushed up against it to see if she could see out of it. She couldn’t, and she huffed to herself, crossing her arms over her chest. Just then, the room started to spin and shake like an earthquake, and Malinda fell back into the spot she’d been sleeping, grasping for anything to hold onto so she didn’t fly all over the place. The roof of the room came off, and Malinda went into immediate panic mode, looking at the giant face that was peering into the room. She struggled to climb out of the room, but when she did, she started running and running fast. It looked like she was in a giant’s tea party. Before she even reached the end of the table, she was starting to run out of breath and had to come to a stop. As she looked around, something caught her attention from the corner of her eye, and she turned her head slowly to look at...a tail? When she moved, the tail moved with her.

Suddenly, realisation dawned on her, and things snapped into perspective. Everyone around her was normal size but she was a mouse. A mouse! An uproarious laugh brought her out of her panic just enough, and she turned to look at the person that did it. Except it wasn’t a person, it was a deranged looking rabbit. She tilted her head at him and smiled a bit. Some part of her told her that this crazed rabbit was her friend. He reminded her of Marcus, but perhaps a bit more mad.

Off in the distance, Malinda heard a low rumbling that made the tables and everything on them rattle loudly as the rumbling got closer. “Looks like we’ve got company, gentlemen,” she said as she scurried back to the other end of the table near the man who had peered into what she was realising what a teapot. He wore a tophat low on his head, seemingly hiding his face, which wore an expression that looked like he had mentally snapped a while ago. His hair, violently orange and extremely curly, stuck out from under his hat in every which way. “'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe: All mimsy were the borogoves, And the mome raths outgrabe,”  he mumbled, and for some reason, Malinda didn’t find it strange. Just another mad thing he said. The rumbling slowed as she caught sight of….walking playing cards? What in Merlin’s name? A man rode through the armored playing cards on a horse, gnarly scars peeking out from under his heart-shaped eyepatch.

“Ah, the Mad Hatter...what a...well, I wouldn’t say pleasure,”  the man started, absently checking his nails for dirt. Everything about him looked dirty, though, so Malinda didn’t see why he’d be bothered specifically with his nails. “We’re looking for a girl named Alice,” he continued, looking back up at Hatter, and Malinda turned her head to look at him as well, her eyes darting towards his lap as his arms shifted a little. He was hiding her, she was sure of it. But where?

“You’re late for tea!” the hare exclaimed, catching Malinda’s attention. He chucked a teacup at the strange man, which he barely ducked, causing her to let out an entirely too gleeful laugh. His hand went to the sword on his hip, and Malinda’s hand reached for her wand, but she found a sword of her own. It was no bigger than a quilting needle, but she could do some damage with it if she needed to. It wasn’t a wand, but it’d work. Hatter let out a laugh of his own and tried to diffuse the situation. “You know, there’s a song we like to sing in the queen’s honor,” he started and looked at Malinda pointedly. Rather than return the look with a confused one of her own, she opened her mouth and started singing one of the poems she’d thought up during a particularly strange dream, and the others chimed in easily, obviously knowing the words.

“Twinkle, twinkle, little bat,  how I wonder what you’re at,” they sang, Malinda plopping down on a stack of plates and swaying to the tune. It was strange, how much she felt at ease with these people and how easy it was to laugh in the face of the danger that this man threatened. “Up above the world you fly, like a tea tray in the sky!” she continued with a giggle. The man was growing increasingly frustrated with everything, with them, and it only made Malinda happier. She took exceptional pleasure in driving people mad. And the other two at the table seemed to enjoy it just as much as their own madness.

Finally, the man, who she assumed was some sort of knight, got tired of trying to get real information out of them and turned his card troops around to try and hunt for this “Alice” girl somewhere else. Once they were comfortably out of sight, the Hatter lifted a teapot from his lap, and Malinda looked at it expectantly. He pulled a small girl from it, no bigger than her own mouse-self. “Alice,” she stated, though it sounded more familiar and endearing than the more confused way she had thought it. “We have got to get you to the White Queen,” the hatter said with a bit of a conspiratorial smile on his face as he pulled his hat off his head. “Your carriage, my lady,” he continued with a still growing grin, one that actually touched his eyes this time. “A hat?” the girl questioned. “Why of course. Anyone can go by horse or rail, but the absolute best way to travel is by hat,” he paused, “Have I made a rhyme?” The idea of traveling by hat made Malinda stand to her feet and clap her hands in excitement, stepping forward as though she was going to go with the small girl. “Oh I do want to travel by hat!” she exclaimed, but was quickly scolded with a “Mally, please,” and she huffed and pulled her sword from its sheath, waving it at the man in annoyance. “Well fine then!”

After the two left, presumably to find the white queen, Malinda looked back at the spread on the table. Tea did sound quite good… She stood and bounced over to where the hare was pouring himself another cup, pushing a cup under the stream of the tea. She was too little to lift it, so she had to lean over it and bring it to her mouth with her tiny hands, but it didn’t particularly bother her. Not even halfway through the cup, though, she was starting to feel drowsy, and she wondered if maybe it was because this dream (because that was obviously what this had to be)  was almost over or because the tea had been chamomile. Either way, she made her way back to the teapot she’d woken up in not long before and crawled back in, finding the ceramic oddly comforting as she curled up, mumbling the sung poem from before as she closed her eyes and drifted off once again…

As she headed back to the office, she was surprised to find an owl waiting there for her. Few people knew where she worked, a couple of friends and her family and that was it, but it wasn’t an owl she recognised. Then she heard the buzzing of her phone. She’d left it on the coffee table among all of her notebooks and pens while she’d gone to grab a couple books from the dorm and a coffee. Quickly, she set down the coffee and dumped the books on the sofa, grabbing her phone and answering it as as she took the letter from the owl in the window.

“Hello?” she asked with a chipper voice, not having bothered to check the screen as she answered.

“Mally? Where have you been? We’ve been calling you for hours!” Immediately, Malinda froze at the sound of her mother’s frantic voice.

“I’m sorry, momma. I was out getting coffee and I left my phone behind, what’s wrong? You sound upset.” She could feel her hands starting to clam up and the knot in her stomach started to turn. Usually, her mom didn’t worry about things, actually, she hadn’t ever heard her mom this upset before. Angry? Sure. But scared and worried? Never. Aleena Upton was more than aware of her children’s habits of getting into trouble and being around substances unhealthy for them, but she also knew better than to try and get her children to stay away from those things. Every time she tried to step in, things got worse. She’d let her husband take over that bit a long time ago.

“It’s Sammy. He’s...he’s um in St. Mungo’s. Mally, I think you need to get here soon,” She said, and Malinda’s brows furrowed. Her brother was like her, he put on a good face but didn’t really do the whole socialisation thing. Her mind ran through every possible option as to why he would be in a hospital, but was coming up empty.

“Malinda?”  her mom’s voice spoke again, bringing her back to the real world.

“What is he even doing at St. Mungo’s? Did he get hurt? Into a fight or something? Did some idiot throw a pool party and he hit his head on the concrete or something?” she continued, needing some sort of explanation. At this point, she’d dropped the letter in favor of her coffee, sipping it to wake her up as she spoke on the phone with her mother.

“No, nothing like that. The doctors think he took something,” Aleena said softly, and Malinda couldn’t help but roll her eyes a bit.

“Healers, mom. They’re called healers in this world, not doctors. Do try to blend in would you?” she teased lightly, unable to help that either. It was her default when things got upsetting or sad. “So he took something. Do they know what? Is he not talking or something? Should I take the train down?” Malinda glanced at her watch and then looked out the window toward the train station. “I think there’s a train leaving here in about twenty, I can be on that and be back to you all in a few hours.” As she spoke, she was gathering everything up to leave, gathering all the research she might be able to do on the trip. Her mother responded, though, and she froze in her tracks. 

“There’s really no need to rush as long as you get here soon… He’s not awake. We don’t know when he’s going to wake up.” The words came through the phone, and Malinda couldn’t move. Tears started to swell up, already thinking the worst, and when she finally managed to do something other than stand in the middle of the room like a statue, she wrapped her free arm across her stomach in a sort of half-hug. “I….I’m on my way, I’m not leaving him there alone.” Her parents were there, sure, but they barely knew him. Sammy was her responsibility, and she’d let him down.

The train ride went by in a blur. Her research sat beside her, untouched, as she stared straight ahead. It wouldn’t do anyone any good for her to panic, so she did her best not to. Things would be fine, or at least that’s what she would tell herself. If she was calm when she got there, maybe it would catch on and everyone else would relax. She wondered if her sister and two other brothers were there as well, or if it was just her parents. She hoped her sister at least was there, she didn’t really have much of an excuse to not be there, considering she still lived at home part time. She should have noticed something going on with Sam. But even though Malinda wanted to shift the blame, she knew she shouldn’t. And couldn’t, not when she knew who was really to blame.

As soon as the train pulled into the station, Malinda was gone, though she got lost fairly quickly. She’d never been to St. Mungo’s and it wasn’t like there were a bunch of people around to help her find her way either. Malinda sighed and just kinda wandered around aimlessly for a little while, hoping that eventually, someone would come by to help her. Eventually, someone did, but it wasn’t just a person who stopped, it was a bus. She’d taken the knight bus a few times, and eagerly jumped on, nodding her head to the driver and smiling a bit before telling him where she was headed. It was much easier since they already knew where everything was, she didn’t actually need to ask for help. Malinda made a point of not making conversation as she fiddled with her phone. She hadn’t heard anything more from her parents, and she’d already texted them that she was in London. It was dark out, now, and the anxiety coursing through her body was enough to make her shake. Each second felt like a minute and each minute felt like an hour, and Malinda could feel her patience slip away the closer they got to St. Mungo’s. All she wanted was to be there already, to see her baby brother, her best friend, her responsibility, and she couldn’t, she was forced to wait. Now was a good time for her to be good at apparating. Too bad she could barely travel herself without getting splinched.

After what felt like hours (but was probably only a half hour), Malinda was being nudged out of the bus hastily and stood before the infamous St. Mungo’s Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries. Swallowing the lump in her throat yet again, she made her way inside, tugging at her sleeves as she asked for direction to where her brother was supposedly lying helpless on a bed. As soon as she turned down the hall, her parents caught sight of her and rushed to her, pulling her into a hug so tight she couldn’t breath anymore. She immediately noticed a lack of Elaine in the group hug, and that was the first question she asked when the hug ended. The look on her parents’ faces said it all, she was nowhere to be found, probably on another bender somewhere or in some random guy’s bed. Not with her brother where she should have been. Daniel and Ren had been by earlier, they said, which eased her worry a little. At least they knew Sammy wasn’t doing so well.

“Can I see him?” she asked, though her voice sounded hollow, like she wasn’t in her own body. Her mother nodded and pushed open the door. The image before her shook Malinda straight to her core. Elaine had been in the hospital before, sure, but never had she looked this pale or this clammy. She could see the sheen of sweat on his face and neck, it glistened in the bright lights, and his vitals weren’t stable by any means. They wavered a lot, and the unsteady beeping made her more nervous. She pulled the chair in the corner over to his bed and sat down, placing a hand on his and squeezing gently. Sam’s pulse hammered for a moment, alerting her to his awakening, and she looked back up to his face as he turned his head to look at her, a small smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. The tears started to well up in her eyes as she smiled in return. “You gave us quite the scare there, Sammy,” she said softly, her voice cracking a bit.

“I’m sorry, Mally...I didn’t mean to get you to come all the way here. Aren’t you supposed to be at Hogwarts?” he asked, and Malinda shook her head. “Spring break is about to start, and I can take a day to come see my favorite brother in the hospital. Mom said she’d send a note, anyway, if I end up staying here for a while. What happened?” Malinda asked her question with obvious hesitation, not really sure she wanted to hear the answer.

Sam coughed a bit and tried to sit up, to which Malinda shook her head and gently pushed him back down, urging him to just relax while he told her. He didn’t fight her past that, thankfully, and started to retell what happened. Malinda had no idea that Sam’s problems went all the way back to the end of summer. He’d been sneaking around and going to parties and getting high with his best friend. Which wouldn’t have been such a big deal if Sammy didn’t already have the habit of getting addicted to a lot of the medications the muggle doctors had given him for his anxiety. From a young age, he’d been on various medications, all of which he’d abused. And now, now he was using some sort of wizard drug, something that had been concocted on the streets in the wizarding world and had some sort of magic to it. Like cocaine but somehow worse and in an easy to swallow pill. He didn’t even know what he was taking, he was just taking whatever was offered to him. Whoever this friend was was certainly no friend at all, and Malinda could feel the anger start to swell up in her. She was going to beat this kid senseless for introducing Sammy to this world. She didn’t care if he’d done it willingly, if he’d been in a vulnerable place, in her mind it was all the other kid’s fault.

Again, Sammy coughed, and Malinda was brought back to the present, worry etched over her face. “Maybe that’s enough for today, it’s okay,” she said softly, brushing the back of her hand across his forehead. He was burning up, so hot that it felt like he’d actually burned her hand. “Mally, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I never told you what was going on, I just got scared, and the drugs felt so good, and I didn’t think it was a problem if it was only sometimes. But then it wasn’t sometimes, an--” and then he fell silent. His entire body tensed up, like it was trying to push again some sort of invisible restraints. His hand was holding hers to the point where she worried that he was going break some of her bones, but she didn’t try to pull her hand from his, it didn’t feel right. He needed her, and she wasn’t going to pull away. Not now. Even if it hurt her. Malinda heard herself scream for a doctor, and her parents came rushing in at the sound, and she wasn’t paying any attention to the vitals around him or the erratic beeping. It didn’t matter when she could see his face contorted in pain and his body arched off the table, like he was going to bed in half backwards.

Suddenly, everything went silent. Dead silent, emphasis on the dead. The monitors weren’t making any noise and no one was breathing. There wasn’t a single breath released in the room for what felt like minutes. Or maybe there was, but Malinda didn’t hear it. She wasn’t breathing, she couldn’t. Whatever it was that her brother had taken had literally burned him from the inside out, and she’d had to watch it happen. There was movement happening around her now, or maybe there always had been, but everything was a blur around her, and all she could see was Sammy. His body relaxed and limp on the bed like he was sleeping. But his chest wasn’t moving, nothing was moving. His eyes were halfway open, and his lips parted from his final breath. Finally, she let out the breath she’d been holding, but instead of it coming out as a breath, it came out as a scream. A throaty, heart-wrenching scream. She pushed aside the hands that were still fussing on him, there was no point, he was gone, and pulled him up and into her arms as though hugging him would somehow bring him back.

Sobs and cries of pure agony ripped through her, and she could vaguely feel the warmth of another body close to hers, her mother’s she assumed, but she didn’t care. She didn’t care about anything but bringing him back. Her sammy, her baby brother, the only person she loved unconditionally. Sammy had been her rock, her conscience, her best friend and he was gone. The reality of it all made her wish in that moment that she had died as well. She didn’t want to be in a world where she didn’t have her little brother, what kind of world would that be?

   A red envelope was seen coming into the hall. Felicity had never once in her life ever been given a howler before. It just wasn’t like her parents to put on a show to express any sort of unhappiness with their daughter. So of course her heart didn’t flutter in fear - who would ever want to send Felicity Darnell a howler?   

With that thought she put her head down. It would simply just be rude to watch the poor student that had to listen to that. Just as she let her mind drift back into her studies of how to successfully work with dittany , in the healing matters more so than wand cores. If she was planning on making a life out of healing, and working in the hospital might as well get an early start. As she read across the words small scraps of red papers started to sprinkle over the pages. 

With confusion, Felicity looked to her right, no one was seated there with a howler eating it’s self, and to her left the same. Which could only mean one thing. Felicity looked up and was faced with the horror of a scorching red howler about to completely unravel it’s spit fire at her.  

Felicity Darnell!  

It was Gretchen McKeen’s voice. A voice she certainly couldn’t ever forget with the constant, to the very tip of a quill point, instructions to every aspect of her life. Why in Merlin’s name would she be sending Felicity a howler. After Gretchen had requested her on her services she took that as a sign that the elderly woman liked her. 

Is it great manners of a woman to inform all important affairs in her life when one should take a leave of absence.  I was woken to a face that was not yours with no warning what so ever. A woman of my age, and my health shouldn’t be given that sort of surprise. I am hurt that you don’t find that important enough to tell me. I expect to see you tomorrow morning, do not if and or but me Felicity Darnell. This is the life in which are you are choosing. Good... 

The letter started to hiss and fizzle out and all Felicity could manage was a very hard eye roll. The woman assumed nothing but the world to fall at her feet and circle around her. 

...Day. 

Looking around she didn’t miss the younger students that looked at her with a look of complete shock. It was Felicity, the girl that never missed a class and would offer anyone a warm meal and advice at any given moment. Looking at them she tilted her head with a small rise of her brow to let them know now wasn’t the time, and it was incredibly rude to be staring at her. Sighing she reached out and collected the pieces of the Howler that had frizzled and frazzled at all ends. It only mean she would have to make a quick visit tomorrow to ensure the woman at least had her tea the right way. Gretchen was much more manageable when she had the right kick start of the day. 

Felicity smoother out the wrinkles of her hurry that morning to get to St. Mungo’s. A few of the nurses gave her snarky side eyes as she was once again, going above and beyond to ensure the happiness and comfort of another patient. While a few others admired her sweet personality and compassion to them. Even if it was Gretchen McKeen, the one no one wanted to try and handle.  She would nod and give a small smile, moving with hurry to ensure the tea wasn’t a minute late to get too cold, or a second early to be too hot. The woman was very particular.   

As she entered she was already tossed a ball of sass from her. “Ah ha! I see you received my letter.”  Felicity just gave a small smile while on the inside she was telling here right where she could put her letter, and keep it there. Felicity never really thought Gretchen had anything wrong with her. They say after her husband passed away two years ago, the woman just sorta acted like things were wrong here and there to stay for the company. Felicity didn’t blame her. Had she be left alone by the love of her life she’d want company around too.  

“Sit, Felicity.” She said extending a hand to the chair to the right of her bed. One in which was decorated with different quilts her sister-in- law “From Hell” as she would put it, made her since her brother passed. “I have a favor I need to ask of you to get done while you’re on break from school of course.” Gretchen paused to take a sip of her tea, a sigh of satisfaction helped Felicity ease and relax into the chair. At least she got that right. “I need you to make a little trip for me to my home. I didn’t sell the thing, and I have most of my belongings locked up. I need an old photo book, if you wouldn’t mind. I’d like to look through them on my spare time.” A smile graced her lips as she took a trip down memory lane. Felicity could understand this request. It would help the staff have a better mental picture to her stories if they could put faces to the names. 

With a nod Felicity smiled over at her. “That wouldn’t be asking for too much at all. I’d be happy to get that for you. I’m sure it’d be nice to see some familiar faces besides our own around here.” She said softly. It broke her heart a little when some of the people that were kept up in here - didn’t really have any visitors. Gretchen approved with a small nod.  “Alright then dear,  next week when you are here, because you will be - I’ll give you the address that can be your daily task for me.” 

It’d been a good length of time after Felicity’s birthday. The day everything sorta changed a little for her. Phillip had always been everything she wanted in a guy. Even if his communications skills when it came to expressing what he wanted and how he was feeling was the worst thing she’d come across - it was him. When she read his letter for her birthday it wasn’t a hard choice to make to run over to his place. 

Felicity grew some nerve that day. The girl felt a spark in her that hadn’t been there for a really long time. With all their move nights, and her bringing him baked goods she grew a comfortable trust with Phillip. Almost too comfortable for her liking, but he was everything. A dream boy that she wanted to be all sorta of tangled up with. That day when she showed up at his door like had times before she didn’t wait for a snarky Phillip comment, or to greet the dogs before even looking at him. Felicity took things into her own hands as she closed the space between them once again and wrapped her arms around to pull his lips against hers. 

The rest sorta happened. It happened without second guessing. It happened without an ounce of fear. It happened with a smile, and shaky hands. A few giggles, and rosy cheeks. Felicity lost her innocence to the boy that had always had her heart. It was that moment that she figured she won the never ending circles. She won over the boy she chased around. As much as she hated his stupid silence, it made felicity grow up a little. Crawl from her hole of fear and find her voice again. Even if it drove her to insanity trying to find it. She’d always have Phillip to thank for that. 

It’d been plenty of time for Phillip to figure his feelings out right? Felicity had always been certain about how she felt for the boy. As much as she tried to shut it off completely, it was impossible. Even with Randall around. Someone that showed how much he wanted to be with her. Randall didn’t try and hide everything he was feeling for Felicity. At least she could always count on knowing what he was feeling. With Phillip it always had to turn to this - a war. 

Felicity pulled herself from her pillow where she held a stuffed animal Phillip got her. She had to admit it was nice to have around when she wasn’t at his place baking, watching a cheesy movie, or at least hanging out with the dogs. None of those times have they talked about that night, or what it meant for the two of them. Which rubbed her the wrong way. Felicity expected by now they would have talked about the little details at least.  

But nothing. 

Clenching her jaw she frowned a bit feeling a new feelings. Felicity had been mad, sure. Everyone gets upset, but Felicity had never acted on her anger, let alone dare even think of raising her voice at another male regarding something like this. Derek ruined that for her, but Philip was finding his way to pull it right out of her. Felicity was practically fuming.  

Phillip used to tell her she couldn’t be afraid her whole life. Yet, she was always the one to be standing at his door. The one to bring up coming to her school dances. I mean she couldn’t be mad at him for now knowing the school functions and asking her first, but he had to at least know the time frames for these tings. It was Felicity that ran to his door to kiss him. Maybe not lead into the bedroom stuff, but she let that happen. She brought down every wall she had to keep him and every other man out for him. And he couldn’t simply tell her if he wanted her or not. 

This was something she didn’t deserve. And he was going to know about it. 

Emotions wasn’t a thing - could never be a thing, and could never surface. At least not in this field. It was all too easy thought to fall for someone you know would give their life for you, someone you spend almost all you free time with. Paula always wrote off ever falling for someone,  but the way her heart fluttered at his touch, and how suddenly everyone she slept with became just okay compared to the cuddles and soft kisses she got from Ace - gave it away.  

Felling him nuzzle in close to her, Paula let her fingers play with his hair as she giggled kissing his cheek. “You’re prickly.” she whined only to have him rub his cheeks against her neck.  

“You like it.” He gruffed out to her before adjusting on the couch to pull Paula into his chest. She had to admit - it was times like this she understood why people would fall in love and waste their time on just one person. Because Paula - would waste a million parties to just be held by Ace. Shut it off, Paula, you can’t love him.  

“Markus went missing.” He said softly. Ace never knew how to tell Paula about a death. Maybe out of fear he’d be next on the list, or Paula would find herself dead. “The last we head of him he was the in the Hogs Head Inn - investigating upon the accounts of missing people that seem to have there be the last place anyone saw them... and now he’s missing too.” Paula could tell by his tone he was broken and she just lightly pressed her lips against his.  

“I’m sorry, Ace.” She said softly before playing with the first button of his shirt.  

“I don’t want you going anywhere near there.” he said picking up her hand and pressing a few kisses along her knuckles. Merlin, the way her stomach flipped at something so weak and dare she say cute. Fluttering her eyes up to him she frowned. “What? Why? This is our job. To investigate , more so spy on these things. I would be perfect for the job. Hot blonde running around - get someone drunk enough, and in a position of teasing, they’ll spill a few things to make sure their balls don’t turn completely blue.”  

Ace’s body flinched a bit hearing her. Was he bothered with her habits? A part of her hoped so, an even bigger part held her breath that he would ask her to calm down on the sleeping with other people. Did he sleep with other people? Paula’s mind wondered off the topic as she her his voice in a light hum in the background. “I just don’t want you next on the missing list. You’ve become a well needed part of this team. “ He leaned in and kissed her forehead before shutting his eyes and resting his cheek against the top of her head. “Just promise me you’ll keep out of this one, Paula.” 

“I promise.”