#fendition

It seems all of my attempts at opening communication (and everyone else’s for that matter) have been met with the mighty swing of the banhammer. She’s even gone so far as to make her blog private, where she’ll inevitably continue posting art of my OCs so that she and her current circle of friends can fawn over them as if they’re not ... mine? (All while clearly keeping tabs on the responses she’s receiving and passively replying elsewhere instead of actually answering anyone.)

The behavior is pretty bizarre, honestly. I don’t really understand the mindset behind “hating your abuser” but going so out of your way to continue enjoying their personal creations. Complete disregard is being given toward the fact that these characters were created by and belong to me, and it’s being perceived as a massive insult that I would have the “audacity” to put my name on that which is mine.

“Apparently nothing is sacred to her lmfao. There’s a word for that: Selfish.”

Another one to add to the list of wrongful, confusing accusations. I’m selfish and committing sacrilege by pointing out that my OCs belong to me. I’m selfish because I won’t let you take my OCs while simultaneously treating me like dirt. I’m selfish for ... owning my own things, apparently.

Pretty sure ‘selfish’ isn’t the right word there. If you’d like a lesson in proper word association, here’s a few that come to mind in regards to this situation: childish, cowardly, inane, baffling, exasperating.

But if you’d like to discuss “nothing being sacred,” how about the level of gall it takes to brutally slander someone you once called your best friend after abruptly cutting them out of your life without ever telling them why and then proceeding to surround yourself with their creations as if somehow you have any right to them at all.

You know why your head feels like it’s in a box? Because you keep shoving it in there to block out anyone who doesn’t agree with your delusional nonsense. You can take the box off, you know. Maybe third time’s the charm and you’ll actually give some thought to fixing this instead of just silencing anyone who contradicts you. Again, the invitation is there.

Takes a deep breath. This is exhausting. How much longer are we going to keep this up? The bullshit has been exposed and people are seeing you for who you really are. What are you even trying to do now? Other than continuing your mad dash away from anything that might actually resolve this situation, both toward me and everyone else calling you out. 

This doesn’t really require an introduction. My mom witnessed firsthand a lot of the same things I’m dealing with right now regarding @fendition / @scruffless, and she’s put in her two cents on the issue. Sticking it under a read more for length. 

Mika,

I'm appalled by the blatant and ridiculous lies you are putting out there regarding my daughter and our family. How dare you? You lived in my home rent free for six months. 

I don’t understand how you could claim that I abused you, but then eagerly flood your art blog with pictures of my OCs. Stand alone pictures, shipping pictures, silly little scribbles and nonsense doodlings.

I don’t understand how you could claim that I ruined you and that you needed to cut me out of your life, but you’re still tagging things debating which of our OCs you ship more than others. You’re still using the cute little tags we, or I, created for my OCs.

How can you be so heartless and continue to use my characters for your amusement while openly spitting in my face? There’s no question that it’s sadistic, the only question is just how willfully sadistic it is. 

First things first, I'd like to acknowledge and refute the continuous use of the word "abuse" in this context. I've witnessed abuse, physical and mental, in my lifetime. I've watched others suffer through it and I've trudged through it myself with my family and past relationships. It's a very heavy word and one that, in my opinion, is never meant to be used lightly. Abuse is a willful disregard of another human being's comfort and rights. The differences and disagreements I suffered with Mika do not, in any way, qualify as abuse and it's incredibly infuriating to constantly be wrongly accused of something I take so close to heart.

I did not abuse her. I did not "chase her off the internet, prevent her from finishing artwork that didn't pertain to my interests and keep her screen streamed at all times."

Let's address this.

In the light of our suddenly cut-off friendship (I was never told WHY we were no longer friends, just that something had happened and she didn't want to speak about it), I attempted multiple times to contact Mika. At first I was frantic and terrified at the prospect of suddenly losing my best friend, and then I sent a much more level-headed message saying that I was willing to give her the space she needed. I have a feeling these attempts were regarded as "harassment," though the only cruel thing I ever accused her of was making my little sister cry -- which she did. That happens when you abruptly cut someone out of your life that really cares about you. It was wrong. And, Mika, you deserved to be called out on that one.

Shortly after Mika cut off all contact, I suffered a massive emergency. Those who have been following would remember that my girlfriend fell unconscious in the shower and cracked her head open. In my absolute panic, I attempted to contact Mika from the hospital while waiting to see if my girlfriend was alright. None of my calls were answered, nor my texts. Perhaps THIS is the harassment or how I "ran her off the internet," but it was never ever an attempt at doing that. I was reaching for someone I trusted and felt I needed during an incredibly frightening time of my life. My supposed best friend offered me zero support, because holding a grudge over something I was never even given the decency of KNOWING took precedence.

A few weeks after, I sent a very long and thoughtful e-mail to Mika in a final attempt to heal whatever had happened. Again, I never received an answer. To this day I remain in the dark as to what caused the sudden end of our friendship, though I've made a fair number of assumptions. Still, there's nothing more eating and powerless than watching someone you cared about walk away without the decency to tell you why. Especially after they've promised that they would never, ever do that to you.

Moving on, the accusation that I prevented Mika from ever finishing artwork that wasn't relevant to my interests is laughable. I spent plenty of time actively encouraging Mika to draw new things, to draw her own OCs, to design animals or clothing or any number of things. In fact, I could easily find quotes from our conversation where I ask her if she ever feels like I'm monopolizing her art in any way and insisting that she let me know if that's the case. I can also find plenty of evidence to times where I hounded her to work on commissions and encouraged her to make a career out of it, to buckle down and really make art her profession. Mika willingly absorbed herself in drawing things that aligned themselves to my interest and has now decided that it was slave labor. It's a pretty hurtful accusation considering I made a constant effort to urge her to broaden her canvas. I'm not to blame for her lack of commitment to professionalism nor the commissions people purchased from her and, if it's any credit to my character in this situation, I was typically the one her clients turned to when she herself failed to answer them in any way.

Lastly, it's basically impossible for me to have acted as a tyrant and enforced that Mika's screen was constantly being streamed. In fact, shortly before we stopped speaking, Mika's complaint was that I "wasn't paying enough attention to her." I was pretty regularly absorbed in World of Warcraft at the time and, when I wasn't gallavanting on there, I was working full-time hours. We discussed the fact I wasn't paying attention and I apologized, even offered to spend more time with her once I realized I'd been pretty neglectful. I never got the chance to, but to say that I was hawking her nonstop is just ludicrous. I have, and had, better things to do than serve as some internet warden.

I've been mostly silent through this entire goddamn escapade. I've let Mika weave whatever stories she wanted in hopes that maybe she just needed to vent. That maybe, somehow, things could be fixed and I could have my friend back. I'm learning, however, that I may be permanently cast as the villain in this scenario. But let it be said that I never had any ill intentions toward Mika; I loved her, I shared everything with her and I constantly supported her and sought the best for her even when the going got really, really tough. I can agree that our friendship had become toxic, but I still believe that it could have been fixed with a dedicated effort on both our parts.; it always felt like we'd been through too much to just end it all in a snap.

I really hope that she can heal and move past this. I hope eventually I don't have to be painted as such a monster. And, perhaps stupidly, I still hope that I could one day have that friendship back. It's awfully uncomfortable missing someone who has decided, for all intents and purposes, that they hate you.