So. The more I read this post by her, the dumber it sounds. I wish I could share it with you, but for privacy and legal reasons, I can’t.

She starts off with talking about how perfect of a girlfriend she would be, the one who doesn’t get angry and isn’t passive aggressive. First off, she is always talking about how much she doesn’t want a boyfriend because the idea of having a boyfriend makes her feel like a bird trapped in a cage. But ok whatever. And, last I checked, there was no such thing as a “perfect girlfriend” or “perfect boyfriend”. Yes, you can be perfect for one another. But perfection in the truest form is unreachable by humans.

There isn’t a girl who NEVER gets angry. Or ISN’T passive aggressive. I’m super sweet, people tell me all the time. But, of course I can get angry. Just because someone is your soulmate (not that I’m referring to Matthew as my soulmate...anymore), doesn’t mean they can’t annoy the beejesus out of you.

And whenever I was passive aggressive with Matthew, it was because I didn’t want to hurt his feelings when he would do things that annoyed me: left the toilet paper roll empty, left his coffee cup on the couch, didn’t do the dishes or throw out the trash on his third, consecutive day off.

Then she listed a few things her and Perfect Boyfriend would do. Everyone has a list, this ones mine:

- learn to make bagels -visit every museum on our days off - visit Poe Cottage - practice yoga - shop farmers markets together - grow basil…IN THE HOUSE! - get a dog - …get a fourteenth dog - watch endless amounts of Netflix, go see every movie at the movie theatre, go to every movie in the park/on the roof/under a bridge…

Then she went on about how she met the perfect guy (Matthew) until something (me) went awry. And how even though she took the guys side in our argument, she can still be a feminist.