The only reason I remember when Pride Month happens is because I used to associate DreamnotFound with Heatwaves’ lyrics “late nights in the middle of June” and. and I’m not sure how I feel about that.

July 7 2023 I met up with some queer friends in the capital where we sat and enjoyed some music in the local park. It was so cozy and nice. Even better, they liked the playlist I was gotten persuaded to make and even tolerated all the finnish and Slavic nonsense on there. It is nice being with others who doesn’t judge and where I don’t feel as afraid to be seen as the weird one. Although my brain still found something to be self-conscious about (did I talk too much about the dang music?) What can you do?

October 20 2023 Bad news; I have covid-19. I had a feeling I might have it when I felt horrible while waiting at the bus yesterday. Well, I guess I now have no excuse but to stay inside and try to keep up with all the things I’m behind because of my trip. Still, what a wonderful trip. I met so many wonderful käärijä fans and I am genuinely surprised how many of us are transmasculine. It felt like finding a community within a community! One guy even gave his transflag to Jere. More about that tomorrow.

October 7 2023 Went to karaoke today where I met up with this icelandic transguy I’ve vibed with a few times. It was such a fun night. I got to scream/perform all the good tunes from Green Day to Alexander Ryback to even käärijä. People complimented my looks, song choices and voice. Heck my Icelandic friend maybe gave me the biggest compliment of the evening saying that hadn’t he known I was trans he’d still have seen me as a dude. Comments like that especially from other transpeople just hit different.

October 6 2023 Today has been a day of rest in between two busy evenings. Yesterday I went with a friend to the local queer bar since she hadn’t been before and wanted to try. It was cozy, and I enjoyed getting to know her more. Tomorrow at the same queer bar there’ll be a karaoke event happening. And I’m so ready to blast Green Day in people’s faces plus + maybe Cha Cha Cha if they’d added that to the list (probably not)? Just getting all out of my hometown before the big trip next week.

September 6 2023 Well, today surely didn’t get less weird (had a bike that disappeared for 2,5 hours and then came back by itself), but actually I’d like to talk about me second group starting up today because there I met this other guy that I was pretty sure could be trans and sure enough he was and we got a good talk about hormones, preferred names and just living as trans. I guess sometimes my trans-radar works. Also, sidenote I loved that my mascara beard also almost fooled him into thinking I’d begun t.

my aesthetic: the inevitable sex-fueled trash bis/wlw who definitely worked at Stratton Oakmont in the Wolf of Wall Street