#felicitysgarmets

cw : cheating, postpartum depression

an : how do we feel about this one, let me know..

Sukuna knew the possible repercussions of having a baby, but you'd seemed fine—happy even, while you were pregnant. He'd known of the possible side effects that some women can go through, the most prevalent one he'd heard of being postpartum depression, but he'd never thought that it was going to happen to you. To his wife, to the beaming light of sunshine that he'd married. He didn't even recognize you sometimes, the previous light in your eyes now nothing but a dull shadow, the smile that used to practically haunt your face was almost nowhere to be seen, and worst of all? You'd barely even spent time with the baby asides from breastfeeding and changing diapers, your baby, the one you'd been so excited about when you first found out you were pregnant. You felt awful about it, really. You didn't even recognize yourself either, didn't recognize who was looking back at you when you'd stare in the mirror after a shower, feeling like you were stuck in a fog. It wasn't helping that you were sleep deprived either. Didn't help that no matter how long you closed your eyes and laid down, you just couldn't fall asleep, and the other times when you finally did manage to fall asleep? The baby would start crying again, and you'd wake up before you could even get at-least four hours of rest. It was tearing you apart, feeling so exhausted. You wondered if it was normal to hate every second of breastfeeding, if it was normal to think about falling down the stairs or purposely doing something dangerous just so that you could get some rest, wondered if it was normal to cry for hours on end worrying that your baby would grow up with an awful mother, worrying that you wouldn't be able to protect them from the darkness of the world. And Sukuna couldn't do anything but watch as you sunk deeper and deeper into that hole of helplessness, of nothingness. He tried, tried to help, to comfort you, but it was like no matter how hard he tried, nothing ever got through to you. Nothing ever helped. It was killing him, watching you suffer and feeling like he couldn't do anything to make it better, to make you better. He tried, he really did, but.. eventually, after months of trying so desperately to make you feel better, months of wiping your tears and doing everything he could in an attempt to put a smile on your face at-least once? He gave up.

Stopped opening the curtains wide in the morning and attempting to get you out of bed, started picking up longer shifts at work, leaving you to handle the baby a lot more. You wondered if this was what motherhood was supposed to feel like, wondered if it was supposed to feel like drowning over and over again with nobody coming to save you instead of feeling like standing in the middle of a sunflower field with sunshine and a smile on your face. Even your marriage was starting to fall apart because of it, because of you. And it all made you feel worse, watching as he started sleeping with his back towards you instead of with his arm around your waist, watching as he slowly but surely stopped asking how you were feeling, stopped bringing you breakfast in bed or making sure you ate. You felt like it was your fault. Felt like you'd ruined everything. You hadn't meant too. Hadn't meant to ruin your marriage, hadn't meant to cause arguments between you and Sukuna, your husband who used to be so kind to you, who used to treat you like you were the only thing that mattered in his life. You missed him. Not this version of him, but the version of him that used to worship you in a way that nobody could've ever competed with. You missed the way he held you when you cried, missed the way he used to pepper kisses all over your face in the mornings as a sweet gesture before you gave birth, missed how he used to bring you flowers monthly just because he could. He didn't do any of that anymore. He didn't look at you like you hung the moon, his hands never reached for your waist in that caressing way that they used too, he didn't compliment you or tell you he loved you as much anymore, hell, he barely even helped out with your child. The one he used to talk to through your stomach when you were still pregnant.

You hated it. Hated how distant he felt, hated the nights where he'd come home late and when you asked where he'd been he'd just reply "Work" in that exhausted voice of his as if that made up for it. You hated how dull everything seemed now, hated how sad you always felt. You hated all of it.

And you hated it all even more when he came home with another woman's perfume on his clothes, hated it when you called him out on it and all he had to say was "Stop being ridiculous, you sound insane." You couldn't even believe your ears when he'd said that, and for a moment you had to ask yourself, is this really the same man you married? The same man who used to literally sweep you off your feet and tuck you into bed at 10o'clock sharp because he didn't want the mother of the "biggest blessing in his life" to not get adequate rest?

Truth was, Sukuna didn't know what to do. He didn't want to say anything about it, but he didn't know if he loved you anymore. He didn't want to break your heart or have your baby, his baby grow up in a broken home, so he'd been keeping quiet about it. And the worst part? He didn't even know how to tell you that on top of not being sure if he loved you anymore, he'd also started seeing one of his co-workers on the side.

He hadn't meant for things to go this way; she'd practically came onto him! Is what he kept telling himself to make his guilt feel less prominent every time he met up with her in a restaurant or kissed her on the lips in the same passionate way that he used to do with you.

He didn't want you to find out, of course not, that'd just make everything worse, so he did his best to cover it up and whenever he came home smelling like someone else's perfume he just made up an excuse saying that he'd hugged a few of his co-workers at an event or a work after-party, letting out an internal sigh of relief every time you seemed to believe him.

He tried to be around more, for the baby and such, but he wasn't doing good at that either. Sometimes at night he'd stay awake and wait for you to fall asleep, and then he'd sit up in bed and turn to look at your face, at the very features he once adored, at the soft lips he used to kiss daily, at your nose, at your closed eyes, remembering how he used to love looking at the color of them, how he used to zone out entirely when you'd talk to him because of how beautiful he thought they were.

And when he laid back down beside you in silence? All he could think of was what was going to happen if you found out, of how you'd react, of how his child, the child that you'd carried inside of you for nine months, the one that he'd begged you to have, would grow up in a broken home if you ever found out. He'd lay there for hours, stuck in his head. Almost regretting the way everything had gone, regretting everything that he'd done behind your back.

He kept telling himself that he'd end it, that he'd call things off with that woman he'd been seeing for the past few months, that he'd start focusing on you and the baby, that he'd make sure things all went back to normal. But he never stayed true to his word, to the promises he made to himself late at night.

All he could hope every morning that he woke up and every night that he fell asleep was that you stayed unaware of the affair he'd been having, and that hopefully, one day he'd be able to make everything right again, even if he knew that by tomorrow evening he'd be in bed with that same woman, the one he kept telling himself he'd drop to focus on you, the mother of his child instead.

nerd!jo usually comes off as this really sweet, inexperienced and innocent dweeb, he's always got his nose stuck in a book or his eyes glued to his monitor. he was the guy who got the least play in his friend group. and yet, nobody knew how perverted he was deep down. especially not you. who thought he was just such a gentleman and so kind compared to all the other lustful douches you'd ever met on campus. it was so nice to be seen just for being you, so nice to be around a guy who wasn't such a sex-addict! and god, he hoped you'd never think of him otherwise, hoped you'd never see the way his eyes occasionally strayed to your chest, focusing on the peaks of your nipples that were poking through your shirt. hoped you'd never notice the way he had to constantly adjust his pants when he was around you, hoped you wouldn't see the blush that spread over his face when his thoughts went all lewd every time you leaned over a table a little bit or wore a low-cut shirt that showed off your cleavage. he hated himself for it. hated the way he'd excuse himself to the bathroom just to wrap a fist around his leaky cock and pretend to be thrusting it in-between your plush tits, hated the way it made him whimper, the way his brows knitted together and he had to cover his mouth with his extra hand to muffle his sounds " fuuckk.. 's so good, mmph—god, your tits 're so pretty, ngh.. oh-.. oh god, 'm gonna—g'nna cum, gonna paint your pretty titties with my cum—fuck..! " his dick jerked and pulsed in his hand, jizz spurting out and coating his fingers, dripping down his knuckles as sweat dripped down his forehead, dealing with the aftershocks of his orgasm. god... he'd give anything just to touch, or lick, or fuck those beautiful tits of yours—fuck, he was such a pervert. he really hoped you never saw past the sweet and innocent person you thought he was.

Satoru hadn't expected to come home to this, hadn't expected you to find out. He knew that when you did find out you'd be distraught, for sure, but he'd be lying if he said he thought you were gonna start throwing things at him. He ducked low as yet another plate flew past his head, eyes wide as he quickly shouted. " Baby, calm down! Just let me explain—" " Explain?! " You'd screamed, chest rising and falling rapidly as you glared at him, hands already itching to reach for the next nearest object to throw at him. " I don't want to hear your explanations, Satoru! I don't want to hear you try to explain why you cheated on me for months and didn't even bother to tell me! " You shouted, tears continuing to trail paths down your cheeks, voice cracking every time you spoke, the pain in your chest never lessening or going away. You'd found out unintentionally, having been cleaning the bedroom that you both shared earlier in the day while he was away at work just to find a piece of lingerie underneath the bed that definitely wasn't yours because Satoru hadn't touched you in months. He'd always made excuses, said he was too busy or that he just didn't feel well, and now you knew the true reason. Now you knew why he'd stopped bringing you flowers every month, it all made sense now. All of it made sense, the random business meetings he had to supposedly attend to in the early mornings, the multiple occasions where he came home extremely late and blamed it on work, the times where you could've sworn you smelt another women's perfume on him but tried not to think anything of it because Satoru wasn't that kind of man. Because you truly had faith in him, faith that he was different from the rest of them. You felt so stupid. Betrayed. Your voice raised once more, hands reaching for the next object to throw, which happened to be the paper-towel holder which Satoru managed to dodge by just an inch. " Were you ever going to tell me? Were you ever going to say anything?! Or were you hoping you could have your cake and eat it too without me ever finding out? Huh?! " Your voice wobbled, sobbing with every word that left your mouth, four years of marriage gone. Just like that. God, Satoru wasn't usually one to feel bad about the consequences of his actions, but right now? Right now, he actually felt bad. He hadn't meant for it to get this far, he'd been telling himself for the past six months that he'd cut it off soon, that it was just for fun, just a small fling, that it wasn't cheating if he didn't actually love her, but fuck, he knew he was wrong. And now? Now he was paying the price. And hearing you, his wife of four years, crying and screaming at him with such pain in your voice, with that look of betrayal on your face? God, it was tearing him apart. Satoru wasn't a man of many regrets, but right now? He'd felt like he'd ruined everything good that he'd ever had in life. And maybe he had, maybe he had ruined everything good in his life. Because now? He was completely sure that you were definitely not going to forgive him for this, which meant he'd just lost his marriage over some temporary assistant at work that he was too weak to say no too. For the first time in what might've been years, he let a tear fall down his face as he watched the very woman he'd sworn to love till' death do us part, crumble right in-front of him. And for once? No amount of reassuring words or expensive gifts could fix it. He really screwed up, didn't he?

an: potential fic idea? lmk..

thinking about college boybsf!satoru who always whines and complains about how he can never find any girls on campus who seem to want him for him and not just his looks or money, not knowing that the girl he'd looking for has been right beside him all along.

boybsf!satoru who lays his head on your chest when he's tired and is always touching you in some way, shape or form because he didn't want to be away from his best friend.

boybsf!satoru who goes on dates with multiple girls a week desperate to find the right one, and yet somehow always ends up crawling right back to your dorm and hiding his face in your pillows as he rambled about how he wish he could find a girl like you. ouch.

boybsf!satoru who once told you while drunk that he almost asked you to be his valentine but brushed it off the next day unaware of the way he was toying with your heart and the feelings that you've had for him for so long.

boybsf!satoru who never questions why you've always rejected the guys who came onto you or asked you out on dates, and why you always seemed so insistent on staying single as if you were waiting for someone or something.

boybsf!satoru who always noticed when you blushed every time he complimented you or when your heart started to beat rapidly against your chest every time he hugged you or cuddled with you but never questioned it because he assumed you were just shy like you used to be when you were little.

boybsf!satoru who never heard the way you whispered to him when he fell asleep in your dorm, three quiet yet distinguishable words leaving your mouth whenever you were sure he was asleep. an "i love you" lingering in the air for a while after it left your mouth.

boybsf!satoru who sometimes looked at you like you hung the moon, eyes stuck on you in a way that made your cheeks heat up and your heart come to a stop, in a way that made all thoughts in your mind suddenly come to a halt, in a way that made you question if he even knew how he was looking at you.

boybsf!satoru who heard rumors of you having a crush on him but always brushed them off because surely you wouldn't like him? right? i mean, you guys were just friends! .. right?

boybsf!satoru who was too stupid to realize that the rumors were true, and that every time you talked to him or saw him your heart would beat twice as fast.

boybsf!satoru who you assumed you'd never have a chance with since you didn't want to ruin the close friendship you two had and you also didn't know if he'd ever like you back or not. after-all, despite the many things that the two of you did that people who are "just friends" aren't meant to do, he'd never given you any real reasons to think he might've had any sort of feelings for you that went past being platonic.

boybsf!satoru who was never going to know that the girl who loved him in the very way he constantly whined about wanting was standing right there beside him all along, waiting for him to come rushing back to your dorm knowing he'd be confiding in you after yet another failed date.

" Baby, hold on—c'mon, please, keep your eyes open sweetheart— " Satoru begged, chest rising and falling rapidly as he cradled your body in his arms, your eyes lidded and dazed, blood steadily seeping from the wound on your stomach. You'd been assigned a mission together, your goal was to contain and exorcise a special grade curse that'd had multiple sights of it reported over the last week. It was supposed to be fine, Satoru was the strongest sorcerer, you were supposed to be fine. But he'd gotten distracted for a second, a second long enough for the curse to attack and wound you in the process, a large gash on your stomach. He'd already called Shoko almost twenty times, already told her to come as quick as she could, what was taking her so long? He couldn't worry about that, not now, not while you were growing increasingly limp in his arms. He shook you a little, frantic to keep you awake, to keep your eyes open until Shoko arrived. " Stay awake! " He spat, his free hand pressing down on your stomach in an attempt to slow the bleeding. " Please— " His voice cracked, tears welling up in his eyes for the first time since he lost Suguru. You were trying, you really were, but everything felt so hazy, it felt like you were slowly sinking under water, with him desperately trying to keep at-least your head above the surface. " Sa.. satoru—.. 'm-.. 'm sorry, I—.. I w-wasn't.. wasn't strong enough..- " You coughed, blood dripping from the corner of your mouth, wheezing slightly in-between words as your eyes met his. " No, no—don't talk like that. Don't you dare! Don't you dare act like you're giving up, okay? You're—You're not dying, so don't you dare start talking like you are! You hear me?! " He shouted. He didn't care about the tears that were falling down his cheeks, didn't care about the way his voice wobbled, didn't care that he was supposed to be the strongest. Right now? All that mattered was you. All that mattered to him was you. He couldn't lose you. He couldn't. You were all he had left—without you he'd be-.. he'd be nothing. You had to live, you had too. You had to fight, you had to keep your eyes open, you.. you couldn't die. You weren't allowed to do this to him. You felt so tired. So exhausted, maybe... maybe you could just, take a little nap. It wouldn't be so bad if you just... took a nap, right? That's what you thought as your eyelashes fluttered and your eyelids began to droop lower, as your hearing started to fade slightly and your breath started to slow a little more. Satoru noticed it, his eyes widening as his voice grew more panicked, his free hand leaving your wound as he shook you by the shoulders, his voice breaking and wobbling with each word that left his lips. " Hey—no, no, no- NO! STAY AWAKE, DO YOU HEAR ME?! YOU CAN'T—YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! YOU HAVE TO STAY AWAKE! OPEN YOUR EYES GODDAMNIT! YOU HAVE TO STAY AWAKE— YOU-.. You... you have to stay awake... Please— "

He didn't even realize he was sobbing, didn't realize how gut-wrenchingly loud he was being, just repeating the same thing over and over again, voice cracking and breaking like it had done when he'd lost Suguru. " Don't go.. please, please—wake up, wake up my love... " And as you laid there, pulse having grown weaker and weaker until it stopped altogether, eyes closed, a large puddle of blood on the ground beneath you, lungs no longer taking in oxygen, all he could ask was why. Why weren't your eyes opening? Why weren't you waking up? Why was the universe taking the one person he had left away from him? Why did this have to happen to you?

suguru wasn't planning on going grocery shopping today, but knowing that his friend satoru was coming over later in the day was enough of a reason to make him climb off his couch, throw on his shoes and walk twenty minutes to the nearest corner store satoru ate a lot, he practically had a black hole for a digestive system, and suguru already knew that if he hadn't picked up any sweets or extra snacks before his friend came over, he'd have to deal with him whining the entire night about how "hungry" he is and how "there's nothing to eat" in his apartment, and he did not want to deal with that for the whole night. which is exactly why he was now browsing the isle that contained all the snacks.. chips, candy, baked sweets, name it and it's probably in the isle. he had been looking at the different arraignment of pies that they had, trying to decide which one to pick until his eyes wandered for a split second, catching sight of a pair of converse walking past him, the laces untied and dangling against the floor. it really wasn't any of his business, but he also didn't want whoever was wearing the shoes to fall, so he lifted his head and let his gaze search the isle for whoever had walked past him, mouth opening to warn the person in-front of him that their shoes were untied when he saw it. saw you. he could've sworn that in that second he'd all but turned into a statue, because he hadn't seen someone as beautiful as you in god knows how long. he'd almost completely forgotten to warn you about your untied shoelaces, until he heard the sound of a surprised gasp followed by a distant thud. ooh. he grimaced, walking away from the pies for a moment as his feet made their way over towards you, standing just a few feet away as you huffed and let out a groan, having twisted your ankle in a weird way when you'd stepped on one of the laces and tripped. " hey. " his voice cut through the slight haze in your mind, your head craning to the side to look at the 6ft man that suddenly stood before you, and before you could even think of what to say you heard him speak again. " your shoes are untied. " he pointed out, and your eyes narrowed in slight frustration. yeah, like i don't already know that, you thought, letting out a deep sigh through your nose. " oh wow, thanks, i didn't notice that when i tripped and fell on the floor. " your response made him freeze for a second, before a small smile tugged at the corner of his lips and a deep chuckle left his throat. you're sarcastic, he likes it, and for a second he wonders if going grocery shopping was a good choice after-all.