#feferi log

[07:11] CC: GR-EAT!!!!

[07:12] CC: My matesprit's )(ot.

[07:12] TG: that is so great

[07:13] CC: It is!

[07:13] CC: I was watc)(ing )(im, by t)(e way.

[07:13] CC: T)(at is t)(e point of t)(e remark.

[07:15] TG: oh i thought you were just feeling particularly affectionate at this exact moment

[07:16] TG: was he doing some official arresting

[07:16] TG: trollcops type thing

[07:16] CC: Y-ES, t)(at exactly!

[07:19] TG: i didnt know sollux worked for the government

[07:19] TG: does that dynamic translate to the bedroom

[07:19] TG: im just kidding

[07:19] TG: dont answer that

[07:19] TG: please

[07:19] CC: 38)

[07:20] TG: i dont even know what that is supposed to mean at all

[07:21] TG: but im glad it went off without a hitch and all

[07:21] CC: Yes! It was GR-EAT.

[07:22] CC: O)(, and I invited Jade to our movie watc)(ing.

[07:22] TG: oh cool

[07:22] TG: what movie are we watching again

[07:22] TG: fight club right

[07:22] CC: Yep!

[07:22] TG: ok im not gonna lie it was a lot better before i had ever been in a real fight

[07:22] TG: so you might not be as impressed

[07:23] TG: but its still a classic

[07:23] CC: )(e)(e)(e!

[07:24] CC: You s)(ould see a fig)(t LIV-E. It gets your collapsing and expanding aquatic vascular system pumping!

[07:24] TG: what like boxing matches or something

[07:24] CC: No, no.

[07:25] CC: Like a R-E-EL fig)(t!

[07:25] TG: weve been in real fights before why would you want to watch one

[07:26] CC: It's different w)(en you're watc)(ing!

[07:27] TG: do you watch fights often

[07:27] TG: the way youre talking about it makes it sound suspiciously like regular entertainment

[07:27] TG: are these like troll dog fights

[07:27] TG: should i be alerting the humane society

[07:30] CC: Of course not!

[07:30] CC: T)(oug)( troll fig)(ts are not rare.

[07:33] TG: yeah i know

[07:33] TG: a warlike people and all

[07:35] CC: Precisely! 38)

[07:36] TG: i mean

[07:36] TG: ive seen meenah kick calibarf in the nuts

[07:36] TG: if that counts

[07:42] CC: Close enoug)(.

[07:43] CC: You s)(ould )(ave seen me and Meena)( fig)(ting, t)(oug)(!

[07:43] CC: T)(at was pretty exciting!

[07:44] TG: when did that happen

[07:44] CC: Before we became kismeses!

[07:44] CC: We were fig)(ting to t)(e D-EAT)(, naturally.

[07:46] TG: naturally

[07:46] TG: did either of you die

[07:47] CC: NOP-E! But we came pretty close.

[07:47] CC: It was around t)(en t)(at we decided to call a truce.

[07:48] TG: and so you went from fighting to the death to fighting as foreplay

[07:50] CC: Y-------EP!

[07:56] TG: thats kinda hot

[07:57] CC: )(a)(a!

[07:58] TG: do trolls fight to the death a lot because that kinda seems counterreproductive

[07:58] CC: Sometimes!

[07:59] CC: But for us, it was more a matter of necessity.

[07:59] CC: It is natural for )(eiresses to fig)(t for t)(e t)(rone!

[08:00] TG: that sucks

[08:00] TG: so youre always kinslaying it up huh

[08:00] TG: although i guess technically everyone is your kin

[08:00] TG: because of your weird alien reproductive process which i dont totally understand

[08:01] CC: I don't see )(ow you don't. It's SO S)(RIMPL-E.

[08:02] TG: is it really

[08:02] CC: DUUU)()()(!

[08:03] TG: you mix juices and then theyre given to a giant bug and that bug lays your babies for you

[08:04] CC: It is t)(e mot)(er grub, not a giant bug!

[08:04] TG: but shes like a giant bug right

[08:05] CC: And YOU are like a little pink monkey!

[08:05] TG: thats true

[08:05] TG: ok moving on from semantics

[08:06] TG: why arent trolls having troll babies

[08:06] TG: what IS a mother grub

[08:06] TG: dont they have to have mother grub babies

[08:06] TG: how do they have mother grub babies

[08:06] TG: since their babies are troll babies

[08:06] TG: do trolls have mother grub babies

[08:09] CC: Don't be silly. T)(e mot)(er grub lays unfertilized eggs t)(at become ot)(er mot)(er grubs! W)(ic)( are usually virgin mot)(er grubs t)(at go on to raise jade bloods for furt)(er breeding duties.

[08:20] TG: ok but how do they lay two different kinds of species

[08:22] CC: It is all in t)(e genetics, Dave. We're not COMPL-ET-ELY different!

[08:30] TG: ok thats totally mystifying but whatever

[08:30] TG: whats even the point of trolls having genders

[08:34] CC: 38o

[08:41] CC: T)(e amount of c)(romosomes we in)(erit from t)(e mot)(er grub determines our gender and all associated features t)(erein! )(ow is t)(at not important?

[08:43] CC: Man, )(umans don't get t)(is stuff at all.

[08:46] TG: yeah obviously

[08:47] TG: but why are there males and females miss peixes

[08:47] TG: since girls can reproduce with girls and vice versa

[08:52] CC: )(mm...

[08:52] CC: I t)(ink you are confused about w)(at girl and boy means for trolls, because you )(umans are biologically B-EASTI-E.

[08:53] CC: Your )(uman differences between male and female don't matter to us! We would all be like )(uman males to you.

[08:54] TG: ok what does girl and boy mean

[08:57] CC: Some of it is simply varied genes. A lot of it )(as to do wit)( our met)(ods of attracting partners! And some of it )(as to do wit)( our roles as a society. 38)

[09:06] TG: wow

[09:12] CC: I know!!

[09:12] CC: We are so cool.

[09:13] TG: totally

[09:14] TG: so you could be a dude in our terms

[09:14] TG: but then karkat could also be a chick right

[09:14] CC: Do you want Karkat to be a c)(ick, Dave?

[09:15] TG: i want karkat to be whoever he feels like he truly is inside

[09:20] CC: )(o )(o )(o!

[09:21] CC: W)(atever you say, Dave.

[09:21] TG: hey what are you implying

[09:25] CC: I am not implying anyt)(ing

[09:25] CC: !

[09:25] CC: You are t)(e one t)(at broug)(t up Karkat out of now)(ere.

[09:25] TG: hes just the first troll dude i thought of

[09:26] CC: I t)(ink you know w)(y.

[09:26] CC: 3B)

[09:27] CC: 3 B)

[09:27] CC: 3B)

[09:48] TG: yeah because were best bros obviously

[09:49] TG: dont try and trick me into admitting im a homosexual or something

[09:54] CC: O)(, Dave. I do not care about your silly )(uman )(omosexuality.

[09:54] CC: But if you )(ave a crus)( on Karkat, you s)(ould tell )(im!

[09:55] TG: what the hell

[09:56] TG: i dont have a crush on karkat

[09:56] TG: and even if i did

[09:56] TG: were both kinda otherwise involved

[09:56] CC: T)(is is true.

[09:57] CC: I just t)(oug)(t it mig)(t )(elp you F-E-EL better!

[09:57] CC: It always makes me feel better to tell my true feelings. 38)

[09:58] TG: does that actually work out well for you though

[10:02] CC: It )(as so far!

[10:03] TG: really

[10:03] TG: thats surprising

[10:03] CC: Yes!!

[10:03] CC: Do not be so pessimistive about expressing yourself, Dave!

[10:03] TG: maybe you just have better feelings than me

[10:03] CC: It isn't a bad t)(ing. 38)

[10:04] TG: sometimes it is

[10:06] CC: Maybe, if someone isn't willing to listen to )(onesty!

[10:06] CC: -Everyone reacts differently, I suppose...

[10:07] CC: But if you ever need to be )(onest wit)( me, I will listen!

[10:07] TG: thanks fef

[10:07] CC: No prawnblem. 38)

[10:07] TG: ill leave notes in the suggestion box as they come to me

[10:08] CC: T)(at's w)(at it's t)(ere for!

[10:08] CC: (Note: t)(e suggestion box is not real. It is only pretend.)

[10:09] TG: keepin it real

[10:10] CC: (Kelping it R-E-EL.)

[10:12] TG: my bad

[10:12] TG: kelpin it reel

[10:13] TG: thanks for the carprection

[10:13] TG: i worked hard for that one by the way

[10:14] CC: Carp erection?

[10:14] TG: can carp get erections

[10:18] CC: https://www.google.com/#fp=76d84e2dc9178884&q=carp+erection

[10:18] CC: T)(e results seem mixed.

[10:19] CC: 38/

[10:19] TG: inconclusive

[10:19] TG: might have to send someone to do research

[10:20] CC: I'll get on it!!

[10:26] TG: i was looking at my pet fish today

[10:30] CC: Really??? 38D

[10:34] TG: yeah

[10:34] CC: It was pretty, wasn't it.

[10:37] TG: yes and not dead

[10:37] TG: the sea is a good fish tank

[10:37] TG: i approve of that investment

[10:38] CC: I know, rig)(t??

[10:38] CC: You could alwaves look at t)(e fis)( we )(ave in t)(e palace, too, by t)(e way.

[10:39] TG: ok where the fuck are they though

[10:39] TG: i dont wanna die in this labyrinth

[10:39] TG: dont let me die peixes

[10:39] TG: not like this

[10:40] CC: You're not going to die! Unless you find t)(e trap doors. T)(en you mig)(t die.

[10:40] TG: thats not reassuring at all

[10:41] CC: )(-E)(-E)(-E!

[10:41] CC: )(ere is a map.

[10:41] -- curativeCoraliph [CC] sent file "castlemapfornoobs.fsh" --

[10:42] TG: thanks

[10:42] TG: my phone gps doesnt work outside of earth

[10:43] CC: O)( really?

[10:43] CC: I bet Sollux could )(elp you fix t)(at.

[10:43] CC: You would just need to )(ook up to our satellites!

[10:44] TG: i dont know how the iphone will feel about that but ill ask captor

[10:45] CC: Good!

[10:46] CC: Now don't trigger t)(e plumes of flame, and you'll be good.

[10:47] TG: are those marked on the map

[10:48] TG: do i look like fuckin indiana jones or something what is this

[10:49] CC: If you )(ad a )(at, you mig)(t... look sort of a little bit like Troll Indiana Jones' )(uman cousin!

[10:52] TG: really

[10:53] CC: I guess?

[10:53] CC: Well.

[10:53] CC: No.

[10:53] CC: Not really.

[11:01] TG: oh man

[11:01] TG: basically i have a survival rate of zero

[11:01] TG: ill probably come back to life but like i still dont wanna die you know