#feeling ready

1. Collect your content because after Saturday we will be subsisting on a thin gruel of rare pap pics for at minimum one year. Gather photos, make a YouTube playlist, reblog the gifs you need for mental health reasons.

2. Find some Harries and start a group chat. You will need support during this trying time. Withdrawals are real and you don’t have to go through them alone.

3. Consider taking up a Harry related hobby such as writing fanfiction, beta reading for other writers, making fanart or merch or deeply analytical tik toks. We can help make the Hrought less painful for each other.

4. Remember that Harry is writing and recording and perfecting new music for us while he’s away. And we want that new music right?

5. Hang in there. He’ll be back, and it will be better than we ever hoped.

Tired? Stressed? You’ll feel better if you sorted your damn self out!

But it’s not that easy right, I’ve picked up the project of self improvement a thousand times and put it down just as many. I get a 15 minute spurt of productivity and suddenly think I’m going to be able to change my life in a day. That all my bad habits and weaknesses will magically be fixed and I’ll wake up the version of myself that I’ve always wanted to be. As you can already tell by the existence of this blog, that hasn’t worked out so far. Writing yourself an overly complicated plan that you think you’ll stick to rigidly when you wrote it 6 months beforehand, makes no sense. Not having measurable goals and not celebrating milestones of even your small accomplishments, doesn’t keep you motivated. And most obviously giving up, doesn’t get you anywhere! So I thought I’d try a different approach this time. I’m going to take it one week, one day at a time and treat this like a journey. It’s not going to be about getting myself to a fixed point but instead it will be about establishing good habits, getting healthier and living a life that I can, by my own standards,be proud of. 

I don’t expect anyone to see this or care really but I just kind of liked the idea of documenting it this way, so I expect complete honesty from myself. I expect that when I fall short sometimes, I will admit so, because there is no shame in it, only learning and growth to be gained. I expect that I will post everyday, even if sometimes mean doing two in one day or writing them in my notes to be posted later but I will post everyday. My goal at first will be to post for 100 days straight and to steer my actions everyday towards my goals and making decisions that are what’s truly best for me. 

Speaking of,the main driving force behind this, besides the fact that I am a girl who is doing her best but is not living her best life, is my want to be a professional soccer player. I’ve wanted this for as long as I can remember and it requires a level of commitment and persistence in training and preparation that I haven’t yet displayed throughout my life. This goal will require several lifestyle changes, the forming of new habits and an improvement of all facets of my health. But I am driven by the fear that if I don’t act now and give myself the best possible chance of achieving my goal, then I am doing myself a great disservice. I can live with the idea that I might not get there but not if I don’t give myself the best possible chance to get there.