#cielo rambles!

Actually, I think even the language around “safe spaces” bothers me a little. Originally, I believe the term “safe spaces” came from the late 60s/early 70s LGBTQ and feminist movements, where they labeled gay bars or places as “safe spaces” to be themselves in a world that ordinarily rejected, abused, or killed them for who they are. They carved out a tiny slice of the universe that would allow them to be themselves for just a an evening, a moment in time. Of course, it still meant anyone could show up in most cases. Perhaps there was some precautions put in place to try and weed out bigots or danger, but for the most part, anyone was welcome.

The term “safe space” like many other phrases on the internet that were once apart of civil rights, activist, or social theory has now been mutated, transformed, and I believe, has come to die.

Or perhaps, should die. We should kill it.

(And before anyone jumps at me—I do still believe in the importance of “safe spaces” in its original form. I do believe it’s important for marginalized people to have real, in-person, safe spaces to be in whether to just exist, connect with other members of their community, celebrate, etc. I believe it is an okay thing to have some of this on the internet too.)

Now, carving out a “safe space” on the internet and especially in fandom means to immediately block anyone that doesn’t make you feel incredible, have all the exact same opinions as you, and never once ruffles your feathers. It means to never see a gif of that ship you hate or artwork you find distasteful. It means taking everything personally and being sensitive and hypervigilant. And breaking friendships and mutuals quickly, over very, very small things. It means never being able to debate or have conversations of analysis. It means to never disagree, to never step outside of your own perspective.

It means to become hyper-individualistic. To create your own, tiny, fragile world. And if anyone or anything disturbs that in any way, you annihilate it immediately. You have no tolerance for anything other than something that gives you immense joy, satisfaction, and reassures your view of life or fandom. (My partner calls this “sugar in your mouth all the time” and what they mean is you always want sweets, but to feel better, to be healthy, you need vegetables, too.)

Creating a safe space now means losing community and only tolerating, engaging, and encouraging people who bolster you specifically. And yes, you may bolster them in return, but it becomes transactional. Warped. It is all only ever about you. And how you feel. And how that person or people or community makes you feel.

I think this is why we’ve seen an uptick in intolerance for differing opinions in fandom spaces (or online spaces in general). No one is allowed to disagree with each other—you should block and move on. If you do disagree with an opinion, that person assumes you think they’re an evil, awful idiot and becomes defensive. Or now you’re starting drama. There’s an inability to add to discussions. Or jump off of each other. Or to disagree in a way that isn’t mean-spirited or condescending. In college, during discussion based literature classes, I was allowed to disagree with my classmates on the text and we rarely got heated or upset with each other. Occasionally, of course, there were personal topics that sparked larger emotions or a misstep, it’s always possible.

But no one was ever unsafe.

Which is why I dislike the phrase “safe space” on the internet, in the modern era.

You’re not in danger, you’re just uncomfortable.

On a more specific level, I think this is also why there’s been such an uptick in selfshipping in our corner of fandom. We’ve curated our spaces so far that it truly is just about the individual and their individual self ship. Gone are the days of sharing and connecting—unless you’re willing to engage with someone’s selfship, they will not engage with yours. It leaves us all to play dolls separately, rather than together. There’s been a decline in fics, especially longer ones. There’s been a decline in just general content. Now everything is individualistic. Tailored so specifically to you and only you, that it sorta leaves you isolated.

Or leaves many members of the community isolated.

It’s become fractured and lonely. Uninspiring and an echo chamber of voices that all, always, agree and love and play and talk and adore each other, by themselves.

It leaves no room for difference, uniqueness, community, or even creativity. It leaves no room for discomfort. It leaves no room to learn how to regulate yourself over something small, like a differing opinion or someone else who enjoys that same character, differently. It’s crucial that you know how to let things roll off of you in order to be in community with each other.

Community has disagreements, it has diversity of thought and art and personhood. That is a good thing. It’s possible to disagree with someone and still maintain respect, kindness, and even curiosity for them.

Beyond that, the internet, no matter how much tailoring you do, is never just for you. If you post an opinion on your blog, someone is allowed to disagree or add to that and it doesn’t always mean they’re trying to destroy and kill you mentally. And beyond this, fandom is not just for you. Fandom has always been about community. And community should not all look, talk, act, think, and agree exactly like you.

This is dangerous and indicative of grander socio-political trends in our world and capitalism. But that conversation is for another day.

I say all of this mostly to get my opinions on the matter out—and to perhaps change minds or get people thinking. I want us to be reflective on our spaces and on ourselves. If you enjoy being in fandom spaces, it may be good to reflect on why! I think part of the reason I haven’t enjoyed it as recently is because of this hyper individualistic trend. I always enjoyed fandom as a community and place to discuss analysis, art, writing, and The Characters, together. And that just doesn’t feel as possible anymore in the xreader world that I currently live in.