#feeellsss

this calls for more drabbles. i’m going to write more flashback klarcel.

Susan closed her eyes for a moment, reveling in his tender touch. How long had it been since Edmund had had any physical contact with her? When she returned from America with Mum and Dad? Su honestly could not remember. Slowly, her eyelids fluttered open, and sky met earth as their gazes locked.

Softly, she chuckled. "I think she feels that she has to prove to us that she's not a little girl anymore. That she isn't that child who found Narnia while playing hide and seek and needed to be sheltered and protected. She's grown up, Ed. Lucy's almost an adult now,  but she thinks we still see her as that child." Susan told him, recalling the conversation the two sisters had when the elder was first called back to Narnia.

As Susan stares into Edmund's eyes, so dark and different from his three siblings', she felt almost safe. Somehow her younger btother's faze always did that to her, the same as Peter's hugs. Was it because his brown irises were so wise and knowing, yet innocent? Or because he almost always seemed to know what she was thinking at any given time?

After his apology, the young woman was unable to speak. Why, why on earth, was he apologizing when she had been in the wrong? When it was her fault that had caused all that pain? Taking a deep breath in an attempt to calm herself, Susan felt tears spring to her eyes; despite her unconscious nervous tick of increased blinking.

"Ed, please. You have nothing, *nothing*,  to be sorry for. *I* was the fool. I betrayed you... Peter and Lu... Aslan... Everyone... I tried, Edmund. I did. But... Aslan,  He told Peter and I that we had to move on with our lives. To take all that we learned here and make ourselves better people there. And I couldn't do it. I tried do hard... But I couldn't move on. Not when my love for this place, the people, and Him was so strong. It was all I could think about. It would have killed me to remember, Ed. I knew if I was going to do what Aslan wanted, I had to tell myself that if was a game and none of it was real. It was always easier for me to believe here. It may have taken time, but it was do much easier. Aslan always came in the end. He always saved the day. But in England, with everything do different and cold... How was I supposed to find Him there?" Susan choked, her voice growing thicker and more emotional with every word until she was openly sobbing.

"I never... I never forgot. Not really. And that only made it worse. I'm so ... I'm so sorry, Edmund! Can you ever find it in your heart to forgive me?"