#feedsonpolytrix

What do you guys think of a pattern reveal in a...different way? It's messy, bear with me. I didn't sleep last night. This is an idea I got for severe anxiety + chronic pain Rumi pattern reveal.

Let's assume the Idol awards were postponed to 2 or 3 days from the initial date due to venue problems.

Rumi couldn't take her anxiety meds that morning because there is supposed to be a time interval before each dose; Rumi couldn't take hers before 7am. Then the train fight happens.

The whole thing leaves Rumi so devastated that she doesn't even take her meds. And the thoughts of singing Takedown at the Idol Awards are gnawing at her mind. Ugly thoughts that she doesn't deserve to live because she is a lying, filthy demon. Then, chronic pain kicks up while bandaging the wound that huge demon with a club had given her because she wasn't focused on the fight and thought she deserved to die. She'd thrown the last of her meds in the sink because she was so angry at herself. Now she's having a panic attack.

The pain with the immense anxiety slowly builds up, but it is just bearable enough. Rumi, feeling guilty about snapping at Mira, goes to apologise. She knocks on Mira's door. Mira and Zoey were cuddling. Mira walks to the door, opening it to find Rumi, telling her that if it was about what happened on the train that morning, it's fine. She says it was fair for Rumi to snap because she was already stressed about her voice not being okay, and that Mira was making it worse by pressuring her to tell them what she was hiding.

She sees a tear stream down Rumi's face, then another, which immediately alerts her and Zoey. Rumi never actually cried in front of them. Rumi walks forward to wrap her arms around Mira, her pain escalating. She can only say one word: "Hurts…". It alerts them even more. Rumi's pain tolerance was high. She could shrug off the pain of broken bones or a stab wound just so she could take care of them first. Rumi being in pain means she's in a lot of pain.

Mira guides her to the bed, Zoey sitting up and scooting away to make space for Rumi, asking if she's hurt, to which Rumi's reply is yes, but she'd already taken care of it. Rumi's sobs escalate and she buries herself in Zoey's warm hug. Mira goes to get painkillers but is stopped by Rumi. Rumi tells her that normal painkillers don't work, she takes high end painkillers which she'd currently run out of. Rumi asks Mira to come back to bed, to hold her. Mira does that immediately because this is the most vulnerable they've ever seen Rumi.

After a while, when Rumi's hyperventilation has lowered a little, her sobs still there, Mira asks her why she takes high end painkillers instead, why normal ones don't work. Rumi says that she's diagonised with chronic pain. Severe anxiety too, which apparently makes the pain worse. Mira and Zoey ask her why Celine never told them about this. Rumi says that Celine; her guardian, her mentor, the closest thing she has to a mother; doesn't know either. It sets of alarms in Mira and Zoey's minds. Celine knows everything about Rumi because she raised her.

Zoey asks her why she didn't tell Celine abt this. Rumi says that she's enough of a burden on Celine, she didn't want to give her another reason to even consider killing Rumi. Mira and Zoey go still, their blood running cold. Zoey asks her what she means by that, had Celine tried to kill her? Mira's grip on Rumi tightens at this, pulling their leader closer. Rumi says that no, she didn't, but she should've because Rumi is an abomination, one that is putting the Honmoon in danger by merely existing. Mira's the one to ask her this time: Wdym?

Rumi says that it's because of who her mother fell for. Her father. Who was a demon. Which makes Rumi a demon. Rumi barely pulls up her sleeves to show them the patterns on her arms and pulls down her turtleneck to show them crawling up her neck. Her patterns are the reason her voice isn't working. Because she is the daughter of a Hunter, the Honmoon reacts to her more strongly, but her outbursts sometimes cause her demonic voice to come out and weaken the Honmoon. She can't be a protector. She's weakening the very thing protecting the human realm from Gwi-Ma.

Mira and Zoey are still, listening to Rumi's sobs while processing the fact that their leader was the very thing they're supposed to kill. Despite Rumi being half-demon, Celine still drilled into their heads that all demons must die and that the golden Honmoon would lock away all demons forever….But Rumi is a demon too…half-demon. What would happen to her? Would she too be locked away with Gwi-Ma and his demons? The very thought of losing Rumi terrified them more than her being a demon.

Mira asked wetly why she'd never told them and got the very answer Zoey was expecting: Celine told her that they wouldn't understand, that it wouldn't have made them the most successful hunters there have ever been. Zoey asks why Celine wanted the Honmoon golden. Rumi says that the golden Honmoon was supposed to take away her patterns, cleanse her demonic blood and make her normal again. Mira asks her, angry and sad, what was the guarantee that the golden Honmoon wouldn't have locked Rumi away with the demons instead?

Rumi tells her that Celine wouldn't do that, wouldn't hurt Rumi like that. She's always told Rumi that her patterns would go away when the Honmoon turns gold. That she'd always theorized—That word stops Rumi dead in her tracks. It was just theorized. They never even knew if the Honmoon could be turned gold. Sure, they'd seen strands of gold, but could it even actually be done?

Rumi almost has another panic attack which is stopped by Zoey and Mira when they tell her they don't care if she's a demon or not. She's their teammate, leader, and family. They love her for who she is, not what she is. After Rumi calms down, Zoey calls Celine, and Mira confronts Celine on the phone abt not telling her and Zoey that Rumi is half-demon, and that they both refuse to turn the Honmoon gold because it might lock Rumi away. Mira tells Celine that Rumi had severe anxiety and chronic pain, something she didn't want to tell even Celine because she felt like a burden. Celine's breath hitched on the line before Mira cut the call.

Zoey and Mira's reassurance that they would never hate her, and that they love her for all she is, sends Rumi into a dreamless sleep for the first time in weeks, the two following soon after, snuggling closer to Rumi, who was sandwiched between them.

Yeah...so. Just a normal 3 AM thought. I thought of it more like how a fic should be, but being sleep-deprived has messed it up a bit.

To put it simply, you can't hold things properly cuz you're hands are trembling so badly, can't speak without stuttering, trailing off, or completely losing your words, feeling frustrated because of it and not being able to maintain eye contact.

This is different from my other au, btw.

I've seen a lot of genderbent Rumi and transmasc Rumi....How about Rumi, who can change her gender at will?

Rumi, who sometimes wants to be more like a man, sometimes feminine. Since we know demons can shape-shift or take the form of other people, wouldn't it be different with Rumi, since she's half-demon?

What if she could only change certain attributes, like hair, muscle mass, and her voice (slightly), but leave out others like her overall build? (Changing her genitals and stuff is up to y'all. I personally think a lot of male! Rumi with ovaries and a uterus...soo.....yeah.)

When she finally gets more comfortable with her girls after the Idol Awards, she comes out to them after the 'no more lies' rule is set among them. Zoey and Mira embrace her and tell her it's all fine and that they would love her either way.

Next morning, Rumi wakes up feeling more...masculine. On checking the mirror, she finds...well, herself, just a little different. Sharper jawline, shorter hair, flat chest (pecs!), her abs are still there (I think all of the girls would have abs considering how much they work out, perform and kick demon ass), and...one more addition under her pyjamas.

She walks into the kitchen and panics. Zoey and Mira don't recognise her till the new Honmoon reacts to Rumi's panic. They calm her down, and then, after a while of thinking, Zoey brings up that maybe it is a part of her demon heritage.

Mira and Rumi agree after some persuasion. Mira starts thinking of how they could turn Rumi back. Rumi shyly speaks up that she wants to stay like this for a while. After the conversation they had yesterday, neither Zoey nor Mira have any issues with it...

What if during the final battle at Namsan Tower, Rumi made the new Honmoon by using just her soul? Literally. Using her soul as a way to again trap demons and Gwi-Ma back in his realm while becoming a demon herself in the process?

If this is possible, her soul would still be connected to Mira and Zoey's, but only in the form of the new barrier formed. Her physical body and mind are trapped in the demon realm.

Gwi-Ma is wrathful. He was so close to finally taking over the human world, but Rumi's soul had trapped him down below again. As revenge, he imprisons her and tries to break her down using both physical and emotional torture.

It takes a long time, but she could only hold on for so long after her own soulmates pointed their weapons at her, and the one person who was supposed to love all of her couldn't do it (Celine tried her best; she really did, but couldn't let go of the past, no matter how hard she tried).

She goes feral. Like a dog. At Gwi-Ma's beck and call. He keeps her trapped in the demon realm for a while to make sure she is completely under his control before opening a tear in the new barrier months later (tearing her soul open in the process, hurting both her soulmates).

Zoey and Mira confronted Celine after the Idol Awards and have lived with her since then, after making an announcement that Huntrix is on break until further notice. And then, her soulmates and her eomma reach the tear, seeing Rumi upfront and first in her full demon form, barely recognisable, leading the demons' attack. They don't recognise her immediately.

Only when the new barrier (Rumi's own soul) reaches out and tries to connect with her body, her own flesh, does one of them realise that this is Rumi. Their soulmate, daughter, friend, pupil.

Had to share this cuz it has been on my mind for 3 days...I still need to fill in some gaps tho.

The attacks from Zoey and Mira's weapons have caused severe burn scarring. The weapons reached bone and caused scarring (dw, it'll take time but will heal, leaving little to no after effects.)

Because I like making Rumi suffer, she also has undiagnosed chronic pain.

The chronic pain has been a constant over the years and rose due to ineffective treatment of the wounds she acquired during demon hunting (taking hits for her girls).

The demon realm gradually heals as Gwi-Ma's fiery reign ends. The life of demons, now free from Gwi-Ma's control, is similar to that of regular humans.

Farming, building, etc, is all now common to see.

Demons used to live in packs before Gwi-Ma began to torture packmates to make the others do his bidding. Better to not get attached if they could die any day.

With him gone, the pack system came back. The Saja Boys were now a pack themselves, and soon, polysaja happened.

Rumi...is not having a good time. Having all her walls broken down, the chronic pain, the pain of her wounds, and whatever happened in the last few hours, hit her like a truck.

It takes really strong herbs to numb the pain, even if by a little. High-end painkillers are nowhere near as effective as the herbs.

There is still a sort of hierarchy system, even among the packs. The Saja Boys are the lead pack. Any final decision, be it a dispute, a growth, or an exploration, goes through them.

The older demons (both who were once humans and who were always demons) are the advisors, providing their centuries of wisdom.

Rumi is a part of the Saja pack, but it's platonic. She is reliant on them for almost everything. It takes her a while to warm up to them after Jinu's betrayal, but soon, they become packmates.

The dynamics are similar to the ABO universe. Jinu is an alpha, Mystery and Romance are betas, Abby and Baby are omegas. Rumi is an omega as well.

All demons in the demon world live in a semi-demon state. Neither fully demon, nor fully human. Demon traits show up as animal traits.

Rumi, however, is a special case. She's either an average rag doll cat (with vivid purple fur, obvi) or a giant tiger, depending on her mood.

If she's angry or she's snapped at someone, she's a tiger. If she's skittish, anxious or just depressed, she's a cat. Being a cat gives her the ability to fit into small spaces and be out of reach, which would've been an escape for her had it not been for her wounds.

Sorry for disappearing without notice. Exams are a pain, but hey! I got an 89 per cent, so it's a good thing...right?

T'was the last day of school, too. I told my friend an idea I had and she added in some stuff and insisted I share it with you all.

Zoey and Mira attack Rumi backstage instead of just pointing their weapons at her. Mira gets a good hit on her right shoulder while Zoey gets the left calf. Rumi manages to teleport away. She goes to Celine instead of Jinu first, and then the whole 'end me cuz I'm a mistake' scene happens, leaving Celine thinking how horrible a parent mentor she is and Rumi feeling she has no purpose in life since the Honmoon's nearly destroyed, so she might as well try to kill Gwi-Ma. She then teleports away to confront Jinu.

Now here's where my friend pitched an idea. Gwi-Ma is selfish (I'm pretty sure we all know that). He was not going to take away Jinu's memories of his human life. Why would he erase the very thing that puts Jinu under his metaphorical thumb? Let's say the other Sajas only agreed to join Jinu's boy band cuz they too wanted something in exchange (maybe erasure of memories or emotions or maybe death cuz they couldn't stop Gwi-Ma and went against their job as Jeoseung Sajas).

Jinu comes to know of this and decides to betray Gwi-Ma. The other Saja Boys (thankfully) support his decision and decide to help him. When Rumi reaches to confront him, he's even more guilt-stricken when he sees her wounds. Rumi tells him that she's going to kill Gwi-Ma and then all the other remaining demons. After a lot of persuasion that he and the other Saja Boys are on her side and want Gwi-Ma just as dead as she does, they make a plan.

They'll kill him by doing a sort of ancient ritual (which I'll think of later ). Meanwhile, Gwi-Ma is making his way up to the surface cuz of all the negative emotions accumulating in the air as he calls humans, Zoey and Mira included, to Namsam Tower to 'grant their needs/give them what they desire'.

The Saja Boys and Rumi know that they'll have to be very quick and precise cuz Rumi's losing a lot of blood. Blood is required for any demonic ritual (I think, or maybe a sacrifice), so this is their only chance without killing something (they can't exactly try to find cattle to kill rn). Rumi is a half-demon, so she should be able to survive having 1.61 litres of blood drained (She has what is left of the Honmoon and her demon heritage to help with rapid healing, so she will survive).

The ritual is a success, and Gwi-Ma is now killed. Demons are still there, but now free of Gwi-Ma's control. Most of them slip back into the demon realm, while some who wished to live a human life stay behind. Rumi is exhausted by the end, and the Honmoon, while still weak, is slowly healing itself. Zoey and Mira snap out of their trance before everyone else and see Rumi flying high up above Namsam tower before she loses consciousness and free-falls. She's saved by Abby, who then, with Rumi and the rest of the Saja Boys, teleports away.

This is all for now.

Again, I'm sorry for disappearing. Imma make a post about the ritual next (maybe) or continue this AU.

Celine doesn't answer for a very long time. She's in...shock. It scares Mira and Zoey cuz they've never seen their mentor so...still. So numb.

I doubt she's going to cover up the truth. Zoey and Mira hesitantly guide Celine to her room, one that is strictly off limits to everyone except Rumi. And there, on the nightstand, is a photo of baby Rumi with a tiny purple swirl on her forearm.

That causes Mira to lose her cool. She confronts Celine, asking her if she sold Rumi's soul to Gwi-Ma when she was just a baby in exchange for something or if Miyeong did something else. Zoey is trying to calm her down. She really is. But she can't help but throw her own accusations at Celine.

Celine snaps out of her trance as soon as Miyeong is mentioned. She hysterically grabs Mira and Zoey by the shoulders, telling them that she tried. All she wanted was to protect Rumi. To rid her of demonic patterns that she inherited from her father so she could finally live a normal life.

Zoey processes this information sooner than Mira does. She asks Celine in a small voice if Rumi had always had patterns. Celine replies with a yes. Rumi has patterns because her mother had a boyfriend who knocked her up and then turned out to be a demon. That makes Rumi half demon.

They kept it a secret. Just among them. Miyeong, Celine and Thirdlight. They couldn't risk their mentors or other surviving hunters knowing that a hunter had a child who was also half demon. Before Miyeong died, she made Celine promise that she would protect her baby.

Celine couldn't...wouldn't refuse. She loved Miyeong, in more ways than one, which she couldn't admit. When Mira asks her why not just tell them, that they would have understood, Celine's response was, "Did you? Did you understand? Did you even try to hear her out? To listen to what she had to say? Your actions justified mine. You are just as much at fault as I am."

Mira and Zoey have no words, no protests. Because they, too, know she was right. They didn't even bother to listen to what Rumi had to say. They stopped listening when Rumi mentioned Jinu, assuming that she was working with him. Against them.

Hmm. You've just given me a great idea for more angst. Thank you!

This is going to be loooong. You have been warned.

TW: Panic attack

The meeting does not go well. She definitely has one of the Saja Boys with her when she teleports to the Hanok for her teddy bear (the one Celine had to sew back countless times cuz baby Rumi had no control over her claws).

It's probably around two weeks after the Idol Awards. Rumi is still very...unstable. Nightmares, violent flinching whenever someone touches her, or when Derpy appears out of nowhere (cuz the Honmoon glows when he does that. It also glows when Hunters summon their weapons). She stayed in her ragdoll cat form for nearly the whole time and was very skittish and anxious, not having gotten a lick of sleep since IA.

Jinu, knowing his actions were partly the reason why she was so scared and cautious all the time, decided to make it up to her. Rumi still wouldn't talk to him. Rumi had grown to trust Abby, though very little, because despite being all muscle, he was a softy and a fellow omega.

Abby sat by Rumi's side for a long time without saying a word, waiting for her to turn back into her human form. In the meantime, he asked her a simple question: "Is there anything that would comfort you at this moment? Anything that smells 'safe'?"