#february29th2016

Welp, today was lovely. I saw that guy that I’ve had a crush on for a very long semester, and I think he looked at me. 

I haven’t told you about him, and it’s actually convenient because I don’t know his name, so I shall call him Tarzan. (He actually looks like Tarzan though) He’s quite tall. (Taller than me, which makes him a very tall person) He’s got long hair that he puts up in a bun, which is small, but I still think it looks very nice on him. (He also looks good when he leaves his hair down, but that’s beside the point) He lives on the same floor of the same dorm as me, so I pass his room every time I go to hang out with the squad. (There are names on the door, but IDK which on is his name)

He’s got a white board outside his door and I want to write a note but I’m too chicken to actually do it because someone might see me and then they’ll know that I’m crushing on him and I’m actually terrified of that.

But I also have a class with him and I sat in front of him one time and he kept tapping his foot on the back of my chair and I’m not sure if he was doing it because I was sitting in front of him or if he does that normally. 

I’ve noticed that when he goes down to the dining hall and happens to be there at the same time as me (I’m not stalking him, it’s really a complete coincidence. This makes me sound really creepy. I’m not, I swear, I just notice him because he’s hot) he sits facing me. Not sure if that’s just because he can or if he’s doing it on purpose.

But you guys, he just so pretty and it makes me want to cry!

The first time I talked to him - which was forever ago, and hasn’t happened since - he held the door open for me and I said thank you. But of course I was just getting over being sick, so my voice cracked really bad, and I think my entire face turned red.

I wanted to tell someone about him, and since most of my friends that are within shouting distance are guys, I thought I should just type it out instead, because I’m not sure they would think it’s normal for me to suddenly say ‘HE’S JUST SO PRETTY I WANT TO KISS HIS FACE AND BRAID HIS GORGEOUS HAIR AND HUG HIM BECAUSE HE’S SO PERFECT!’ I don’t think that would be recieved very well, and I might freak them out. 

So, that was my day - wait, I didn’t tell you about my day. I just talked about Tarzan Man. I’ll tell you the short version of my day, ‘cause I don’t think you want to read every little detail.

I went down to breakfast this morning and saw Tarzan Man, then I went to probably the most boring two classes ever - but one of my professors is this cute older gentleman, and he’s just really cute, okay? - and then I had lunch with a couple of my friends, then went to two more classes, one about cattle and one with Tarzan Man. (I didn’t sit anywhere near him because there weren’t any seats :/) Then I went back to my room and typed this out. 

Maybe later there will be some sort of meal with my amigos, and perhaps we’ll hang out and do something. 

How was your day? I hope it was good. I need to go get another red lipstick. Maybe tomorrow. 

Ini tentang cinta, cerita tentang kasih sayang tulus yang berasal dari lubuk hati yang terdalam. Aku memang tidak sempurna, begitu pun dengan dia, karna kasih ini kurasa memang tak memerlukan kesempurnaan untuk merangkai kebahagiaannya. Didasari untuk menerima kekurangan sebagai kelebihan, dan menjadikan kelebihan menjadi sebuah kekuatan. Aku mencintainya dengan tulus dalam abadi dan sucinya rasa cinta yang Allah ciptakan. Inginku hanya berharap untuk dapat memberikan yang terbaik untuknya walau aku memang bukan yang terbaik. Mungkin aku mempunyai sisi kesamaan dengan masa lalunya namun aku bukanlah bongkahan masa lalu, aku adalah aku, aku hanyalah seorang hamba yang Allah ciptakan untuk mengajarinya bahwa tak selamanya masa lalu terjadi dalam kekecewaan namun masa lalu merupakan sebuah pelajaran berharga untuk menempa masa depan yang lebih baik. Akan kubuktikan bahwa aku adalah masa depannya, yang akan mengubah masa lalu menjadi masa depan yang lebih indah. Aku lemah, aku membutuhkanmu dalam perjuanganku karna aku memang tak sempurna. Aku membutuhkanmu layaknya Musa AS membutuhkan Harun AS dalam perjuangannya, namun bukan untuk menghadapi Fir'aun namun untuk menerjang dunia yang menjelang kegelapan dan membawa setitik cahaya bersama dalam Islam. Aku membutuhkanmu dalam perjuanganku untuk menundukan pandanganku dan menjaga kehormatan kita. Maaf bila mungkin ternyata aku memang tidak sempurna akan masa laluku. Kau telah mengetahui aib ini dan hanya engkau yang kupercaya walaupun pada kenyataannya, ada beberapa yang mengetahuinya akibat kecerobohanku. Izinkan aku untuk selalu menjaga rasa ini, kini, kelak dan nanti.

Semoga Allah memperkenankan kita untuk bersama dalam sucinya cinta yang telah Ia karuniakan pada setiap hamba.