#featuring;

this happens because he picked up an astronaut career (he treated getting that degree like he treated passing the bar — 100% cheated his way through that shit)

it fucking gets out whilst he’s stranded on mars for those four years that Kristoph (also an astronaut for the sake of plot) fucking pushed him when they were escaping the planet to get him shot off in the sandstorm as an attempt to get rid of him (because nothing else has worked to kill him). that doesn’t work either obviously because Phoenix is unkillable

this whole time edgeworth has thought he was dead so we get a couple of depressive chapters of him sadly doing law and investigating or whatever before finding out his stupid rival is actually alive and just fucking around on mars

oh and since it’s Ace Attorney, Phoenix doesn’t acquire Trucy by adopting her after that case, but rather she is a martian.

I guess if we’re going on that plot thread, Apollo would be partial martian as well. fuck it spirit mediums are aliens

x files the ace attorney case or something. it probably ends in us finding out redd white’s grandfather had used his rich influence to contact aliens and that’s why spirit mediums are on earth. aliencorp

did a little doodle of tommy (our lovechild) with my friends' si/ocs !!! thought this might be a good post to ramble about him because i love him so much he's so dear to me

tommy is three years old and he was born on December 23. A very very gentle kid and a sweetheart by default 💗 He loves to help other people and giggle at random things. Just like any other toddlers...

One thing that Tommy loves is kisses! He takes after his daddy who likes to kiss mommy a whole lot. He's our little lovebug 💗💗 also!! he is fiercely protective of his mommy. If someone tries to flirt with Abby, he'd point at them and yell "Mommy is only for Daddy!"

Despite being only three, tommy is very attentive and caring. he can sense when someone is sad and he quickly will try to cheer them up. he's just a little ray of sunshine!! 💛💛💛

elliotirl just uploaded a photo

hellahunter just uploaded a video

So I took another shot at the game. Fun

((Ask the skype gang. I went INSANE. Special note; Spark died 2 miles before the end. I am still shaking and crying.))

March 1, 1848

    We started down the trail with: 

     15 oxen

     15 sets of clothing - So that means 3 sets each.

     400 bullets - Which is good fun.

     2 wagon wheels

     2 wagon axles

     2 wagon tongues

     600 pounds of food - In which to eat. 

LET'S BOOGIE.

Plug: Love, never say that again. Please.

March 3, 1848

    We decided to ration the food in  meager portions. So that Search doesn't eat everything in one fucking bite. 

March 4, 1848

    We lost the trail for 4 days. And this, ladies and gentleman is why we never let Plug do the navigating-

Search: SHOULD HAVE LET ME DO IT. I'M MORE AWESOME-

Get off my journal dammit!! 

March 9, 1848

    We have arrived at the Kansas River Crossing. We will not listen to ANYTHING Search has to say.

Gem: Who would listen to that asshole anyway? 

What is with you guys and stealing my journal?!

March 10, 1848

    We had no trouble floating the wagon across. Oh looks like my deduction was better.

Search: STOP USING BIG WORDS DICKWEED.

My poor journal. 

March 13, 1848

    We have arrived at the Big Blue River Crossing.

Search: YEAH IT'S BIG. LIKE MY DI-

Plum: Don't even start.

March 14, 1848

    We had no trouble floating the wagon across. Hmm... Well we did have no other choice after all. Lucky huh.

March 15, 1848

    Gem has a broken leg. Oh Make-

Search: THROW HIM OFF THE WAGON. COCKMUNCH DESERVED IT-

Do not speak about my brother like that or I'll throw YOU off the wagon.

He remained silent the rest of the day...

March 19, 1848

    We have reached  Fort Kearney. Wew. Time for some well earned rest-

Search: STOP SLEEPING COCKBLOCKS, WE'RE GONNA WIN THIS

But it's not even a competition-

Search: SHUT THE FUCK UP

March 23, 1848

    An ox wandered off for 1 day.

Search: LEAVE IT

Leave my journal!! 

March 30, 1848

    An ox is sick.

Search: KILL IT

Plum: That's rather disrespectful isn't it

Search: BUT- I- AUUUUGH. FUCKIN' WOMEN.

    Loud Search has the measles.

Search: WHAT THE FUUUUU

Plug: Yes!

Gem: Bout time.

March 31, 1848

    We have reached Chimney Rock.

Search: HEY THAT LOOKS LIKE MY DICK NOW

Plum: *facepalm* 

They won't let go of my journal....

April 4, 1848

    We have reached  Fort Laramie. Can we not rest?!!

Search: NO

Plug: You've got no say, you're handicapped. 

April 8, 1848

    Loud Search is well again.

Search: YEAH. I GET A SAY NOW DON'T I.

Gem: Shoot it.

Search: DO YOU WANT ME TO BREAK YOUR OTHER LEG SPARKLE TARD.

    Plum has dysentery.

Search: SHE'S FEELING A LITTLE SHITTY THERE. 

Plum: How unladylike of a disease... 

April 12, 1848

    Gem is well again.

  Search: AW MAN I WANNA BREAK HIS LEG AGAIN

Gem: Not before I break your face!

Boys, not here...

April 16, 1848

    Plug has the measles.

Awh... My poor baby-

Search: KILL IT.

April 17, 1848

    Plum is well again.

Search: OOOOOH YEAH

Plum: Don't even think about it.

    We have reached Independence Rock.

Search: WHY ARE WE HERE

Because we can.

April 24, 1848

    We shot 57 pounds of meat.

Search: YOU SUCK.

I'd like to see you try...

    Broken wagon tongue.

    We couldn't fix the wagon tongue, but we replaced it from supplies.

Search: YOU SUCK AGAIN.

Get out of my JOURNAL.

April 25, 1848

    Loud Search has dysentery.

Search: AW WHAT THE FUCK

Gem: You're handicapped again, sit the fuck down. 

April 26, 1848

    Plug is well again.

*snuggle hug*

    Broken wagon wheel.

    We couldn't fix the wagon wheel, but we replaced it from supplies. Well done Search.

Search: WHAT. I'M ILL. SEE-

All: NO!!!

May 1, 1848

    We have arrived at the South Pass. We're not even half way there yet.... 

    We traded 2 sets of clothing for 100 pounds of food. Don't say anything, but that was Search's clothes.

Search: WHAT WAS THAT, SOCKETSCREWER!? 

Uh-oooh...

May 2, 1848

    Loud Search died of measles. Oh my Goood.

Gem: ... We win! 

May 4, 1848

    Plum has a fever.

Gem: I'll take care of her-

Plum: Yeah, no.

May 6, 1848

    We have reached Fort Bridger.

    We visited the store and bought: 

     600 pounds of food. Alright, it may last us the rest of the journey. 

    Broken wagon wheel.

    We couldn't fix the wagon wheel, but we replaced it from supplies.

Gem: We're too useless...

No Gem. You're useless.

May 15, 1848

    Plum is well again. Woo! We can continue without fear that-

Gem: Spark, shut up.

May 17, 1848

    Plum has a broken leg. Oh my. She should stop drinking...

Plum: I'm not!

    A thief stole 14 oxen. WHAT. WE CAN'T EVEN CONTINUE

Gem: Who the fuck was keeping an eye on them!!? 

    We traded 185 pounds of food for 1 ox.

Gem: Really. That was stingy... 

    We traded 3 sets of clothing for 1 ox.

Plum: Were they mine?!

Maybe...

May 31, 1848

    Gem is sick with typhoid fever.

Gem: Wh- This is worse than I thought it'd be!

You asked for it!!

June 6, 1848

    Gem died of typhoid fever.

Oooh....

June 7, 1848

    Plum got sick and died.

Plug: It's just me an' you love... 

We'll do this...

June 8, 1848

    We have arrived at the Green River Crossing.

June 14, 1848

    The ferry got our party and wagon safely across. 6 days of bliss there

June 15, 1848

    Plug has a broken arm.

  Oh love...

    We traded 7 sets of clothing for 2 oxen.

June 28, 1848

    We lost the trail for 1 day.

Plug, stop navigating while I'm asleep.

    Plug has a broken leg.

PLUG!!!

Plug: Ow.

July 13, 1848

    Plug got sick and died.

    I have cholera.

((OOC: I HATE THIS GAMEBFDJSBFDSJHBCFSHJVCBHSJVCS))

July 14, 1848

    I have reached Fort Hall.

    I visited the store and bought: 

     5 oxen

I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

July 19, 1848

    I lost the trail for 5 days. AAAAH

((OOC: AAAAHJSBGCJGCJHASGVJBCDJHCJ))

July 24, 1848

    I am well again. Oooh...

((OOC: I am losing the will to live dxbsabsjahvxhja))

July 27, 1848

    Rough trail. Gahhh...

August 1, 1848

    I have arrived at the Snake River Crossing.

August 2, 1848

    I had no trouble floating the wagon across. Beeeugh.

August 16, 1848

    Rough trail. Owoowowowowowow.

    I have arrived at the Grande Ronde in the Blue Mountains.

August 21, 1848

    The trail is impassable. Lost 1 day. Wh-djsabda

August 24, 1848

    I lost the trail for 5 days. Come on! I'm- I'm almost there!!

August 29, 1848

    I have a fever. A-Aghhh

   [ End of Journal. ]