#fcuk it

Gamzee, who was sitting on the couch and watching tv, took one worried glance at his matesprits face. The thick, dark circles under Tavros’ eyes and the way he swayed on his feet tiredly, was still a sight - even after three sweeps of dating - he was trying to get used to. It was hard to hide his concern. Tavros tiptoed behind Gamzee, leaning down into him, chin dropping on to his head right between those long horns. A soft sigh escaping his throat. “I’m home.”

“Welcome home, bro.” Gamzee turned his head murmuring, placing a small kiss on the others cheek, as he wrapped himself around his beloved neck and just held him.

“Did you, uh, miss me ?”

“‘Bout as much as sopor in my ass, motherfucker.”

“Wow, uh. That’s gross,” Tavros shuddered, then yawned widely, "Charming, as always.”

Gamzee chuckled, then turned around and eased forward, far enough to properly touch Tavros’ overly tired face and stroke his thumbs over that hard jaw. “Yo, when was the last motherfuckin’ time you actually slept ? You’ve been gone for quite the time again, motherfucker. You’re all up and working too motherfuckin’ much, brother.”

“Uh. That, depends,” the other Troll gave him a tired half-smile, “what day, is it, exactly ? And yeah, i know, but uh, i can’t help it.”

“See, motherfucker,” Gamzee sighed and stroked his long, slender fingers through the soft, black hair at the back of his best beloved’s neck. “I bet you didn’t motherfuckin’ eat properly either. Messiahs, you’re getting rid all of that miracle flesh i love to get my cuddles on at.”

And as if on cue, Tav’s stomach rumbled and growled lowdly, begging for attention. “That’s, uh well not, entirely true, I had tuber paste.”

“That’s not real good motherfuckin’ food in the long run, you know.”

“It is when it’s, all you got, uh and you’ve been on a week long stakeout, and need some carbs. Being a, cavalreaper isn’t an easy job, Gamzee, you, uh, you should know that.”

The skinny clown just shrugged at his lover while rubbing through his own black, wild curls, “Yeah, yeah. If you say so, brother. I still think you need to take better motherfuckin’ care of yourself. Why don’t you motherfuckin’ change into some motherfucking chill clothing, while I’m all up heading to the meal block. I’ll make you a motherfuckin’ wicked meal, motherfucker. And after that, you can even have some motherfuckin’ chocolate-pie.”

Tavros drew a big breath, took only a little step back to turn around for the ablutions block and almost immediately stumbled. Gamzee reacted fast, his arm shot out and grabbed the edges of Tav’s dirty uniform, keeping him from toppling over.

“Sorry, uh,” His weary voice sounded slightly embarrassed, “I’m really, dead on my feet, it seems. Thank you, for the catch.”

“What are you all up and apologizing for, Tavbro ?” Gamzee giggled at his lover, “Just hold onto a motherfucker, I can walk you there.”

Tavros blushed in embarrassement, braced a hand on Gamzee’s shoulder and let his sweet clown guide him the short way to the other room.

He chuckled as he watched Gamzee take only careful little steps. “I think, I could get used to this, like having uh, a sexy servant that carries you anywhere.” Another big yawn cracked his jaw.

Gamzee furrowed his brows, “No motherfucker, don’t. This is a special motherfuckin’ service just because you’re all up and about to fall flat on that beautiful face of yours. I wouldn’t want you to break one of 'ya horns.”

Tavros couldn’t have possibly kept that sheepish smile that crawled up from his lips at the others words. “Oooh. Oh, so uh, what else, is included in this, special service ?” He tried to sound suggestive, but he was so exhausted and worn out, that he missed his usual seductive tone.

Gamzee just snorted right away at his best beloved’s poor attempt, “Even tired to the bone, you’re still a motherfuckin’ perv, Tavbro. What a miracle.”

The other Troll just giggled sweetly, too worn out to come up with a worthy reply. Not that he cared anyway, his matesprit was right after all.

“Well, I’ll go to the down and get that miracle-meal ready, then feed you properly and throw you into our motherfuckin coon. Come on down when you’re all up and finished, motherfucker. And please, don’t fall down that stairs.” Gamzee grabbed the stronger one’s hand and pushed him carefully through the door to the ablutions block.

Tavros just smiled blissfully as the door shut close behind his back. Getting out of his uniform was a bit of a drag in his terribly tired state. Since cooking would take his man longer than five minutes, he also decided to take a quick shower. He was dirty after the long week out in the fields, with barely water to drink, and basically none to wash, which was unfortunately required when working for the military. He also smelled grossly like sweat anyway and really didn’t want that to be a huge turn off for Gamzee, after it’s been too long since they saw each other. It maybe was only a week, but with a dangerous job like his, a week could feel like months to him. He likes his job and he thinks it’s honorable, but it’s still risky as fuck, and one can never be all too sure that they’ll return from a mission.

But Gamzee was the light in his life, no matter how dark his missions could be. And they were dark at times, with hope gone and lost, darkness descending. But he always knew he had someone he needed to return to. Gamzee’s existence alone was enough to always guide Tavros home.

He felt extremely refreshed after the hot shower and just a little bit less tired, even if only for the moment. He put on his favorite black shirt, which showed his sign in glimmering bronze color. He also put on the most comfy, clean pants he could find in the small block, which was a pair of Gamzee’s dotted pants. He owns at least nine of those, and Tavros finds that fact really ridiculous, every now and again. But that gave him the opportunity to steal one for himself, over and over again. They were comfortable as fuck, so he doesn’t blame his little clown for adoring them so much. He was also glad Gamzee liked his clothes wide and flexible, or else Tavros wouldn’t fit in, being quite a lot buffer than his slender partner. That would’ve been a shame.

After he finished himself up, he left the block and made his way slowly down the stairs, careful not to topple over, and yawning yet again, as he reached the meal block. He sat down with a whispered I’m back, his elbows resting on the dining table and eyes fixed on Gamzee as he was about to finish off the cooking.

“So, uh. Did anything, exciting, happen to you, this week ?” Tavros’ words slurred a little, tiredness taking over after the heat of the showers settles in. He really was trying hard to stay awake.

“Let’s see, motherfucker. Terezi thought it would be motherfuckin’ hilarious to blow up some of Equius robots, when all he was up and doing was asking me out on a pitch-date. She ended up making a huge fuckin’ mess, man. Eqbro was pissed as all shits and Nepeta had to pap the fuck outta him. Buuuut it really motherfuckin’ was hilarious, brother, i’ll give a sister as much. Karbro came over some motherfuckin’ times to check on a brother. Still takin’ me for a fuckin’ wiggler that can’t take care of himself, checkin’ out if i was eating and such. Didn’t say no to some pale sessions in a pile either, motherfuckin’ craved them even, the little miracle blooded brother. I tell you, it was glorious, i hella love teasing them nubby, sensitive horns,” He brought dishes full of deliciously looking food, put them down on the table and sat down to join Tav, who already got his hands on the silverware, “Oh, you also missed our wicked humans friendos. Johnbro, Davebro and Jadesis were all up and came over for a visit. Rosesis wasn’t with them tho, she’d rather met up with Kanaya, motherfuckin’ long distance relationship and such. Everyone motherfuckin’ gathered up and we had a fine ass dinner. I was up and told them to come by again when you’re around, motherfucker, don’t worry at that. Oh, and Aradia messaged a motherfucker a few motherfuckin’ times and asked me all out 'bout her pale-brother’s status, all fuckin’ worried as all shits about you, but I wasn’t much of a damn help, so we just got our worry on together…. And last but not motherfuckin’ least, work was quite the mixture of hilarity and hell. A brother had orders to cull some of them enemy motherfuckers, but overall, it was just shitty routine, s'all.”

Tavros didn’t respond and chewed lazily on a piece of bread, which had it’s crust cut off because Gamzee knew that’s how his lover liked it.

He couldn’t surpress yet another yawn, nodding with is head and blinking his eyes rapidly in an attempt to keep them open.

“Sorry brother, I am all up talking too much.”

“Hmmm? What, uh no. No, no Gamz, no, ’m sorry. You could, speak forever. I love your, voice, and i could listen, to you all day, and night, and never get bored. I want, to ..hear everything, you got to say. It’s not, you - it’s the, job and uh i’m just really, really beat…”

Gamzee just watched him as he mumbled sweet apologies, smiling softly and being really relieved to have him home. They both had quite dangerous jobs, his man being a cavalreaper and himself as a first class subjugglator. But when Tavros was gone for a week and beyond, a hollow feeling settled in Gamzee’s stomach. A feeling that would never ease until his matesprit walked back through the front door of their hive.

“…You, uh believe me, ..right ?” he asked, sounding only slightly alarmed, as he poked his chocolate pie - which is a dessert he loves and couldn’t turn down, no matter how tired he was - with a fork.

Gamzee gave him a heart-warming smile in return. “Yeah brother, i know as much. S'all good, dearest of brothers.”

By the time the dishes were empty and ready to be pulled away, Tav’s head was burried in his arms on the table.

“Hey,” Gamzee walked over to gently shake his shoulder, “let’s get you to coon. Was a long motherfuckin’ week for a brother.”

“Sex, comes first. Get a bucket.” Tavros mumbled as he had a hard time lifting his head along with his huge and heavy horns, and looked at his beloved with tired, reddened eyes.

“Fuck, bro. That can motherfuckin’ wait 'til some other time,” Gamzee lifted him out of the chair and placed a sweet kiss on his cheek, “you need sleep first. I bet a brother can’t even go up the stairs without motherfuckin’ falling like a pupa.”

“Uuuh. You won’t, let me fall, Gamzee.” Tavros leaned heavily against his mate, nuzzling wearily against the soft skin that smelled like cotton candy. “You never have, before, and even if I, did fall I know, you would catch me. Not. One. Doubt.”

In his exhaustion he might not understand what he was saying, or much it meant, but Gamzee surely did and his heart melted away. Melted at the words he was given, melted at the little breaths that tickled against his skin. He never expected to feel so much for this big, self-conscious, kind, beautiful troll when they first met, but he did, and it only grew stronger with every little moment that passed. And it hasn’t stopped yet, it’s like his heart is expanding with every little affection or sweet word he was given from the other, it might even explode one day. It would explode, just like that, and paint the surroundings with love and purple. That’s what’s going to happen.

They ended up in the respiteblock together, Tavros with both hands pressed against the wall with his little clown in between, leaning in closer and asking Gamzee for a tender good-night-kiss in whispered, sensual words.

Gamzee couldn’t think properly. His favorite troll was way too close to his face, his smell invading his cartilaginous nub, the scent of soap and chocolate making his mind all fuzzy. He thought he was ready for the kiss, they had kissed a billion times before, but nothing could have prepared him for the firm, yet soft press of the other’s lips against his after a long week. The heat that spread from the other through his cold body was instantaneous, his eyes closing as he pressed into Tavros, his hands coming up to grip the man’s muscular arms. Gamzee felt Tav’s big hand slide up to his face, cupping his jaw, their lips moving and sliding together as his head was tilted a bit. His legs threatened to give in, as he felt Tavros then slide one of his hands to the back of his head, his strong fingers weaving through his wild mane and the other gripping one of his horns firmly to pull him even closer. As he felt those fingers brush down the back of his neck, right down the middle, he let out an involuntary moan. He definitely needed to pull away soon. Tavros heard the moan, the sound filling his ears like music and going straight down to his lower stomach. He tightened the grip on Gamzee’s horn, his fingers still caressing the spot on the curly-headed’s neck, reveling in every moan he pulled from the clown as he felt Gamzee slide his hands up over his chest to grip the powerful shoulders, the other’s whole body coming closer. He sucked on Gamzee’s bottom lip, nibbling it a little, moaning against it as he felt blunt claws dig into his back. He took a step closer, bringing his body flush to his matesprit, as he pushed his lips against the others again, harder, the kiss getting deeper.

Gamzee’s hands rubbed gently at Tavros’ muscular shoulders with soothing, circular motions and then draggin his sharp claws down that strong, shivering back. It really was a gorgeous back and Gamzee loved touching the place. Tavros moaned softly, arching into his touch, the spot being a constant weak point for the bronze-blood. The soft, warm lips pushing harder against his own, the kiss running the risk of deepening.

But suddenly, Gamzee pulled back, breaking the tender, sloppy makeout.

“Nnnngh..Nah, bro …stop..” he swatted Tavro’s upper arm, “you’re.. too motherfucking tired to.. start anything.”

“B-But,” he stuttered, voice shaking but quiet, “I’m never, too tired for, a pailing session, really.” To fortify that statement, Tavros leaned in closer and buried his face in the crook of his lover’s neck, sucking on it softly.

Ignoring him, Gamzee put his hands onto Tavros chest and pushed his beloved away, as soft as he knew how to. Though it killed him, he tried to keep his touch impersonal and quick this time, not only for the other troll that really needed a day or two of sleep, but also for his own sake. Just a minute longer, and he wouldn’t be strong enough to stop. Tavros let out a soft sound of frustration, but couldn’t get a firm hold on Gamzee, as he tried to keep his lover pushed against the wall. His dead beat body slumping down into the purple-blood’s arms. Proof he really was completely drained.

Too bad Gamzee couldn’t say the same about his own body. He was careful to keep his lower half from touching Tavros. He needed to calm down fast. Tonight’s not the motherfuckin’ night, my excited purple bone-brother, he thought.

“Kay,uuh. ..Let’s.. let’s hop into, coon.” Tavros’ yawned. His voice had become so hoarse and scratchy, Gamzee had to strain himself to actually hear what he was saying.

“Hell yeah, bro, finally you make some fuckin’ sense.” Gamzee groused a little, but made sure he was careful as he picked up the big bull, and carried him through the rest of the room until they reached the recuperacoon.

“Messiah’s, you’re motherfucking heavy for someone who’s all up and didn’t eat much in a motherfuckin’ week” he complained.

Tavros turned his face into Gamzee’s chest and sighed deeply, a happy and content sound, “Mmmmhmm.”

“Yeah motherfucker, you’re not the brother toting around two-hundred pounds of dead weight.” Gamzee joked some more, “But ain’t no problem for a motherfuckin’ bad ass subjugglator like me. Gainin’ muscles and shit.”

Tavros just snorted quietly at the statement as he lifted himself up and crawled into the pleasant warmth of the coon that was full to the brim with sopor-slime, waiting.

“You, uh, not joining me ?” he asks, staring at the clown in confusion, who just stood there and smiled at his lover, bright and wide like an idiot. “Nah, my man. A motherfucker still got a mission to attend to. I’ll be motherfuckin’ off in a few minutes.” “Oh. Oh god, Gamzee. Fine..,” Tav murmured, rolling over, “Just, be careful. I don’t, even ..ask. It’s an order, i demand that from you. Make sure, you come back in one piece safe and, sound. When i wake up, i need ..y-you.. here…”

“Yeah motherfucker, don’t get all up and worry 'bout a brother.”

“Gamzee..,” Tavros whispered as he closed his eyes and let sleep finally take over, “..love you.”

“Love you too, brother,” Gamzee replied, and his breathlessness was surely due to having hauled Tavros’ big and heavy ass across the hive the whole evening, and not from the lump that was blocking his throat.

Gamzee would always return to him. Tavros was the same to him, as he was to Tavros.

The brilliance of Tavros’ smile, the warm glow of Tavros’ touch and the radiance of Tavros’ presence.

This light, so bright, one could see from hundreds of miles away, would always guide him home.