#fayharper

I find myself... well, I don't really know where I am. All I see are tall trees and everything is gray and foggy. I hear moans and silhouettes of people walking around. What the fuck is this place? A figure walks towards me and I swallowed nervously. It wasn't until I saw the bright coloured hair that I realized it was Pixie. "P-Pixie?" I asked, still unsure. 

She responded with a smile. "Hey Roman... welcome to um... yeah."

It appears Pixie doesn't no where we are either. My family wasn't really religious, and the only god we ever considered was President Snow. I wasn't the most moral person, nor was I the most evil man in the world, so I only expected to land in a place like this. I read about something called Purgatory once, so maybe that's where I am? "I see... neither heaven or hell wants me, huh?" I chuckled.

Pixie shook her head and laughed. "Don't be ridiculous. Come on." she turned around and beckoned me to follow her. The two of us walked past through a thick fog until we finally saw a clearing. It appeared to be a house by a lake. The sun shined brightly down on us, so we made our way to the porch and sat on the swing. "This is my personal heaven..." she explained. "I'm happy here, and it's peaceful. I even ran into my parents back there after I died. They have their own paradise too. I guess we all have happiness that doesn't involve anyone else. I plan to visit them again. You can only go into someone else's heaven if they gave you permission. That's why you're here." she looked down before talking again. "I'm sorry I couldn't be with you throughout the Games. I gave up trying after Day One, but believe me when I say that I really wanted to help you. It's just that Career Killer got to me first."

I can understand why this would be paradise for Pixie. She wanted peace and quiet, but I guess her room back in the Capitol's Suite wasn't enough. My eyes widened once she said who killed her. I guess I was right about Sloane after all. I pushed any thoughts about the Games aside to ask her more about this place. "So... this is your heaven?" I asked as I looked around.

She nodded. "Yeah, everyone has their own. You just need to find it. Those silhouettes back there are lost souls who couldn't accept their death. They want to go back to the land of the living but can't. If they don't see heaven soon, well, they'll be heading to a less pleasant place."

I assume she's talking about hell, but I don't know anything worst than that gray foggy forest. "Can we visit my heaven?" I asked her. 

Responding with a laugh, she nodded. "It's up to you, really. Only you know what your heaven is, so you have to find it."

That makes sense, I guess. I closed my eyes and envisioned paradise. I held onto Pixie's hand and when I opened them, I found myself in a tropical island, white sand on my bare feet. The breeze from the sea against my face was like heaven it self. Last time I got to feel it was before my reaping, and I definitely missed it. Pixie and I were sitting on a hammock attached to two palm trees. She giggled. "I think this is your house back at Four. But whatever suits you." She's right. This is way too much like home. I sacrificed everything to participate in something that took it all away. I was foolish, but her I am now in my own personal paradise without a care in the world. Each and every one of my actions were worth it if I was able to go to a place like this. 

I learned news about other tributes' deaths shortly. Dotev, the hot red head from Eleven died the day after me. Kyera, the beautiful girl from Seven died at the hands of my alliance members, who later got killed in the finale. I was proud and wasn't surprised they made it that far. Sloane died because of Raf, who also took down North. I was proud of the boy I had a fling with back in the Capitol, but he too wasn't the victor. At least he got to kill Career Killer before Elias became her next victim. Mika won, and even though she didn't share the same feelings I had, I was glad she made it out of the Arena alive. 

Unlike Pixie, I didn't greet them in the Purgatory-like place and help them reach their personal heaven. They could probably do that themselves. Besides, I was having too much fun here. Maybe I could visit Dotev's, Kyera's, Elias', Malia's, and Raf's paradise one day. I wanna get to see Raf again and steal a kiss or two from him.  Hopefully I'll even remember them. It's like the longer I stay here, the more my past memories seem to fade. I feel nothing but happiness, and that's good enough for me.

Time didn't seem to make as much of an effect here as it did back in the land of the living. I didn't age, and I have no idea how long I've been here. The sun rises and sets, but I didn't pay attention as much. Eating and sleeping weren't a must anymore, but a luxury and to feel as if I was back home again. I would spend all day in the beach and surf for what seemed like an eternity because I didn't get tired. Pixie would visit me once and while just so that each of us could have company. 

She stopped coming over, but my loneliness was soon covered by even more happiness. By now my family members and loved ones past away. Keela, Logan, and Troy died as well. I wanted to greet and visit them, but I don't think they would like me interrupting their paradise. Either that or I just didn't feel like it. I know I should care more, but I just don't. I wouldn't trade my heaven for anything or anyone.

When I woke up one day, my heavenly surroundings began to deteriorate. I began to panic and call for Pixie or anyone, but not a single individual came. Then all of a sudden everything was consumed by darkness, including myself.

I opened my eyes, but couldn't move any of my other body parts. I was inside some sort of tube filled with water, and just wearing white boxer shorts. An oxygen mask was over my nose and mouth. I looked to the side and across from me and noticed others, roughly the same age as me in the same tubes filled with water. They appear to be as confused as I am. On a wall, in between two individuals was a poster which read, "Come one, come all! To the 150th Annual Hunger Games. This year, all fallen tributes that died in the Arena are brought back to life and are eligible to compete for the 6th Quarter Quell." 

She took me in her arms. "I can't believe they're taking my baby away from me."

I hugged her tightly back. "Don't worry, Mom. I'll be back. Trust me."

My mother knelt down so that she was just below my eye level and put her hands on my shoulders. "Fay, you're smart. You know that. But don't let that give you a big head. You'll be smaller than the vast majority of the other tributes and you can either let your big mouth get you killed or you can use what you have to your advantage."

"Lil-" my father cut in. "I don't think-"

"No," Mom retorted. "She needs to hear this and we can give her our sad goodbyes when she's heard the important stuff. She has a chance, Jak."

"I don't think..." my father softly trailed off, realizing what he was about to say and stopping himself before he could discourage me. 

"Fay, honey," my mother grabbed my hands in hers. "There are tributes who have trained their whole lives going in there with you. Just remember that. Think creatively, think out of the box... think Fay. You're different. Take advantage of that."

The Peacekeeper banged on the door, indicating thirty seconds.

"Oh, my baby," she took me in her arms again, tears beginning to stream down her face. "I can't lose another, Jak. I can't do it." 

My dad knelt down and took both my mom and I in his large embrace. "I love you, my little Fay. Be brave," he whispered. 

Suddenly, they were both yanked out of my grasp.

"I love you!" I yelled as they were both shoved through the door. I realized it was the first time in years that I had told my parents that I loved them. And now they were both gone until I came back. I wouldn't see them for several weeks now, or maybe even ever...

"Fay!" Lilac and my other friends barged through the door, hugging me and ruining my hair with their roughness and the wetness of their tears. "What are we going to do without you? I can't believe this happened."

"It's ok, ladies," I said calmly, hugging each of them back. "You'll neef to figure out how to hold down for just a couple of weeks. I'll be back, trust me."

"But Fay, you're one in twenty-four. Everyone will be bigger than you. There are Careers, Fay." Skye softly mentioned. "You're the smartest one in our class but I don't know if that'll be enough."

"Trust me," I said. "Have some faith. Just don't let this district turn to an even bigger pile of crap while I'm gone."

We said our gentle goodbyes, promising not to forget each other while I was in the Capitol and the arena. They promised to watch my interview and spread word that I was the most fabulous tribute to be Reaped this year. We hugged some more and they cried and I consoled them, thinking it should probably be the other way around.

And soon enough, they were gone, too. 

My mother stood up to bring her plate to the sink. "You sound like a Capitolite. All this excitement is odd for a girl who's up for the Games again."

She looked at me, worry diluting her eyes. "There's always a chance it's you, pumpkin. Don't forget that."

"Sure," I said offhandedly. "I have two slips in there and most girls my age have at least five or six. Don't worry about me, mom."

I pulled at my pink bow hidden on the back of my head. When my mother asked me last year what my token would be should I go into the Games, there was no question about it. I could barely function anymore without the small piece of fabric woven in my hair. Too many bad things had happened when I wasn't wearing it. 

Well, one too many.

I scooted my chair back and stood up, noting the time on the clock above my father's head. "It's go time, guys!"

They exchanged worried glances and grasped hands before grabbing the house keys and anything else they might need while they were standing in the crowd of over- and under-aged citizens of District Five. 

We made our way to the District Square- only about a five minute walk from my house because we lived in the largest town in Five- and I said my quick "tata"s to my mother and father before turning to see all my friends waiting for me at the registration corner. Together, the same as last year and the years to come, we held our hands out to the Capitol representatives and they pricked our fingers and got our fingerprints and we were ushered to the girls half of the audience where we stood with all of our classmates, giggling at what half of them were wearing. 

This was the Reaping. This was the time to show off everything you had and some of these girls were dressed so pathetically it's like they were trying to advertise that their fathers had died in a power plant explosion. My pink, beaded, frilly dress would be the talk of everyone at school when we returned. My best friend Lilac pulled at the sleeve, mentioning how jealous she was of it, and how the little blood detail gave it that special something.

The screeching sound of the cheap microphone's feedback wailed through our ears and we looked to the front of the crowd to see the fabulous Karolina Gwendolyn standing on stage. 

Oh, Karolina. I could barely pay attention to the reused Capitol message they gave us every year because I was so distracted simply by how much I wanted to be her. She'd become our escort only a year or two ago and dear heavens above she was all I wanted to be and more. Famous, beautiful, rich, getting everything she wanted. It was fabulous and it was all I wanted out of life. 

Standing next to her was the only living victor of District Five, Fidelis Ezekiel, also known as the creepiest dude living in Five. Mothers didn't let their children near him and teenage girls made sure to avoid eye contact when passing him on the street. It's not like he had done anything wrong, he was just creepy. Nevertheless, I respected him and his fame. Though he didn't quite use it the right way, he had won the Games and that garnered a certain level of respect in my book.

"It looks like we're in for a wonderful Hunger Games this year!" Karolina trilled in her heavy Capitol accent. "Girls first, of course!"

She strutted her way over to our bowl in her six inch silver heels with ease, reaching in and fishing around for a second before pulling her hand out of the sea of names. 

There were several moments of dead silence as she took her time peeling the tape off, reading the name, and stepping forward to the microphone. I loved this part. The apprehension, the stress, the relief when the name was called.

"Our girl tribute for District Five is..."

Pause.

"Fay Harper."

My chest settled with relief in the way it usually did during the Reaping. And then my brain caught up with my body. Wait. 

"Fay, go," Lilac breathed. Skye already had tears flowing down her face and I couldn't bear to look at Estelle or Patra. 

Giving Lilac a quick hug, I let my legs carry me to the stage. My brain was too confused to quite understand what was happening, but it snapped back to reality when Karolina put her delicate hand on my shoulder. 

"How old are you, dear?" she asked. 

Suddenly, it dawned on me. I was going to leave Five. I was probably one of, if not the youngest tribute and my name was going to be plastered all over Panem in lights. I could see it. Fay Harper, the girl from Five who won the Hunger Games. The youngest victor Panem has seen yet.

"Thirteen," I grinned. "My lucky number."

I smiled out into the crowd and waved at my friends, who all looked too stunned and shocked to wave back. Holding my head up as Karolina announced the boy, I could barely pay attention as an older boy I sort of recognized from school took the stage with me. Arland, his name was. 

I waved and grinned at where I estimated cameras were and suddenly I was being ushered by Peacekeepers off the stage and into a car on our way to the Justice Building.