#fatlib

I did not hit the self-destruct button! I was silenced! I’m officially an INTERNET FUGITIVE! this is my initial post just getting the word out, sorry if it’s a bit rushed and panicky - I’m trying not to get too worked up over it and just get this out there as efficiently as possible, but I’m the user behind @fatliberation. I am posting this from my feed1sm community blog, which was initially a safe haven for me to reach directly to the feed1st community without the scrutiny of non-feed1sts. luckily, it was not attached to the account that got terminated. go figure! I’ve sent an appeal request to tumblr, but I am doubtful that my blog will be reinstated because feed1sm is officially against tumblr’s community guidelines. yes, this is discrimination. here’s why feed1sm is not a fucking eating disorder.

obviously, I’m in extreme distress over this, because I did not have any of my work backed up. I’m devastated to have lost the hundreds of asks sitting in my inbox, the lists of resources I’ve compiled, and the six years worth of work in the form of replies and essays.

I know that much of my work is still out there on each of your individual blogs as reblogs. I might eventually try to organize a combing operation for specific posts so that some of it can be saved.

I don’t know where I’m going from here, but I will send updates from this blog. I will most likely make my own website with a domain that I own, but it will take me awhile. as many of you know, I’ve worked through a brick wall of deep-rooted shame to get to this point, so my blog being terminated on the account of promoting a culture of harm has caused my brain to backslide into shame-land. I’m experiencing anxiety and doubts about my character that haven’t come up in years. this termination happened during a time where I was taking a break from posting because my mental health was already on unstable ground. so it all kind of came crashing in on me. I’m okay. my friends are here for me. I know that it will take me a minute to get back up from this, but I am not going anywhere.

THEY CAN’T KEEP THIS BAD FATTY DOWN!

🐋✊⛓️‍💥

If you’re reading this, please spread this post around so my people can find me. my ko-fi account still lives.

I hope that even though much of it has been lost, the footprint it left will live on. running that blog has changed my life in immeasurable ways. getting to interact and learn from you all brought me community, acceptance, and love. I cannot express my gratitude to everyone who has supported me, and who stood behind me when I became vocal about feed1sm. you mean the world to me. I refuse to be silenced. my only ask is that you please keep spreading and circulating the fat liberation flag.

so. I’m wiping my tears and trying to think of this as rebirth. wherever I go from here, I won’t have to worry about censorship. when I got the news that it was all gone, the first thing that came to mind was this scene from pixar’s up.

In the end, it’s just a blog.

In liberation,

And as such, I wish there was more acceptance and positive portrayal of big fat, superfat, and infinifat people, both in the fat liberation community and in studies, books, shows, movies, etc. Yes, even the "gross," "weird," "ugly," and "unhealthy" ones.

We're common enough to be an epidemic, but not so common we can't see ourselves in superheroes, dancers, even background characters? Come on.

Thank you to all big fat, superfat, and infinifat people. You deserve the best and more.

Feminewal: a term for fat folks who grew up with their femininity being forcibly withheld from them due to society's fatphobia and are now reclaiming their femininity, embracing what was forcibly withheld by society's fatphobic cruelty.

Tagging @radiomogai and @goatgai.

Stripe meanings: desaturated wine purple stands for the childhood trauma that comes with growing up fat, dark lilac stands for the pain that comes with the forced adultification that we often go through, persian pink stands for the comfort and happiness that comes from reclaiming our femininity, barley white stands for all the fat feminine folks who've lost their lives to fatphobic and misogynistic violence, and the powder blue stands for all trans, feminine fat folk.

if you want to lose weight that’s fine thats your choice but don’t force it onto other people who don’t want to lose weight

My bike wheel broke because I’m too heavy and it wasn’t built for someone like me (the lady at the repair shop literally asked if I had people riding on the back with me) note: this happened with the last bike I had too before it got stolen and I had to get a new one

My bed broke because I sat on it too hard and I weigh too much (the literal metal frame is bent in places)

Every chair in every academic building I have classes in (for real. Every single one) creaks when I sit down. This does not happen for anyone else.