#fatherlywisdom

Today, my son Jonah is seven days old.

It's a big event for him, obviously. Also, his parents are celebrating being able to keep a tiny human alive for that amount of time so it's a fairly big win for the entire family, especially when you consider his unquenchable affinity for attempted self-suffocation.

He started the festivities off a little early last night around 3:30 in the morning when he embarked on what can only be described as an all-out offensive of bodily fluids.

I awoke to his cries in the wee hours as he fidgeted frustratingly in his bassinet due to the fact that he takes that phrase very literally (you'll have to forgive him, he's kind of an idiot...he is a baby after all). Bree was in the bedroom sleeping.

We've been taking shifts you see--like two drowsy employees passing each other as we clock in and out of an industrial baby factory--punching the paper time cards of perpetual parental responsibility.

Anyway, I was nearing the end of my shift when he decided to embark on the most ambitious release of human fluids since the Birmingham prison riots.

What started as a wet diaper quickly turned into a poopy diaper and then a combination of both of those things as I changed him once, twice, three times a baby.  

He hit me from all sides. Waiting until my troops had reformed ranks only to flank me with an unexpected fountain of fresh, milky puke, or sniper-shot of urine to the face.  

What transpired over the next thirty minutes I wouldn't wish on my worst enemies. I went through an entire box of wet wipes, four diapers, two spit rags, some paper towels, two onesies, one twosie, and all of the sailor vulgarity that I can get away with while he's still young enough to not recognize the words.

You've heard of Shaken Baby Syndrome. This was Shaken Adult Syndrome...in that...by the time it was all said and done, I was emotionally shook.

When he was finally fully washed, cleaned, rash-creamed, diapered, and swaddled; when the carpet was stain-treated; when the walls were wiped down and the ceiling decontaminated; the morning crew was just coming on to relieve me.

I tried to do the carnage justice in the retelling to my wife, but there's a reason that many veterans never tell their war stories; rather, they smoke pipes in silent corners of bars with others who have been through the same.

After regrouping around midday, we took our tiny fluid generator to the beach and sat on a sunny patio. Bree pumped.

And then we ordered alcohol. The good stuff. The mind-numbing, chest-warming elixir-type stuff.  

Then afterwards, he somehow beat me in a game of chess using the Newborn's Gambit, and I have to believe now that the previous night's chaos was just him subtly maneuvering me into some kingly missteps based solely on exhaustion.  

Parenthood is messy...

wonderful...

joyous...

but mostly, just messy.

My dearest son,

As I approach the end of my journey, I want to share with you the wisdom I’ve gathered through a life filled with ups and downs. These are the pearls of insight I hope will guide you on your path to a happy and meaningful life:

Cherish Your Loved Ones: Hold your family and friends close to your heart. They are your greatest treasures, and the love you give and receive will be your richest wealth.

Embrace Kindness: Treat others with kindness and empathy. Small acts of compassion can have a profound impact on someone’s life.

Follow Your Passions: Pursue your dreams with passion and determination. Let your heart lead you to a life of purpose and fulfillment.

Learn Continuously: Never stop learning. Knowledge is the key to growth, and it opens doors to opportunities you can’t yet imagine.

Forgive and Let Go: Holding onto grudges and anger only poisons your own soul. Forgive others, and free yourself from the weight of resentment.

Travel and Explore: See the world. Experiencing different cultures and places will broaden your perspective and enrich your soul.

Find Balance: Balance work, play, and rest. Don’t let the pursuit of success overshadow the importance of a balanced life.

Live in the Present: The past is a memory, and the future is uncertain. Treasure each moment you have, for it’s a gift that can’t be replaced.

Practice Gratitude: Be thankful for what you have. Gratitude will help you find contentment and happiness in even the simplest of pleasures.

Face Challenges with Courage: Life will present challenges. Approach them with courage and resilience, knowing that they are opportunities for growth.

Be True to Yourself: Stay authentic to who you are. Don’t bend to the expectations or judgments of others. Your uniqueness is your strength.

Express Love Freely: Don’t hesitate to tell those you love how much they mean to you. Love is the most powerful force in the world.

Leave a Legacy of Kindness: Strive to leave the world a better place. Your actions and the impact you have on others are your true legacy.

Remember, my dear son, that life is a beautiful gift, and the way you choose to live it will shape your destiny. I may not be there to witness your journey, but my love will always be with you. May your life be filled with joy, love, and purpose.

With all my love, Your father

Check out the Happiness 2.0 Podcast — https://podcast.edwardgdunn.com/

Dad