#fandom problem 5194

Fandom Problem #5194:

For the love of all that is sacred, please do not call fictional male abuse victims "female coded" the moment they show up.

It's horrible enough that real-life male victims rarely get the help they deserve, especially when an abusive woman is the perpetrator, but don't reinforce that view in fiction that only women can be mistreated and/or abused.

"Coding" is just stereotyping, but "it's okay when we do it" from people who claim to hate stereotypes.

I love how many notes are going "UM! Actually!? They are female-coded! WHY!? BECAUSE I SAID SO!!!" As the post said. Assumptions, stereotyping and projection. Coding is an attempt to make yourself sound smart. And most of those blogs are run by women. How telling. And then they wonder why more irl male victims don't open up. Ignoring how much women believe they have a monopoly on being the abuse victim is a major issue. It's not a badge to wear. Making the issue worse all because this threatened their monopoly on said victimhood.

That makes me deeply uncomfortable too. The best explanation I have is that I like to think trans people are more in tune with what constitutes gender, and how not to stereotype because of that, but in reality a lot of them aren't. They're just as ignorant as cis people, so it almost comes off like a betrayal or something. I don't know how else to explain it, but that's the best I have!