A journey in clippings. From school yearbooks to newspaper headlines and rock magazine spreads: the essence of Izzy Stradlin has never changed. It’s fascinating to see the contrast between the "Indiana boy" and the "Ju Ju Hounds master."

Thank you for the tags @everlastingday @annoyingcloudearthquake and @thisbuildinghasfeelings!

I binged seasons 1-4 last January to cope with the cancellation of my previous hyper fixation Our Flag Means Death. I knew about og 9-1-1 from just existing in fandom spaces and liked the hurt/comfort potential but I wanted a canon queer couple and somehow I’d heard about Lone Star having one, so that’s what I picked. It was just supposed to be a little rebound! Like Carlos was for TK! And then it immediately took over my life lol.

First (chronologically) favorite moment was when I spent a good chunk of my Costa Rica solo vacation last February reading downloaded Tarlos fics by the pool. Like so much fanfiction yall. If you’re reading this there’s a good chance I was reading your fics by that pool and it was amazing. @chicgeekgirl89 I KNOW I read a bunch of your stuff on this trip, definitely @paperstorm and @carlos-in-glasses too! So apologies for not leaving comments on those 😆😆😆

Then at some point I read basically all the fics and especially all the best hurt/comfort and sickfics and wanted more, and something to possessed me to finally start writing my own? And yall were like THE MOST AMAZING SUPPORTERS EVER? Seriously I love this fandom!! I have absolutely loved getting to share these characters with yall and I don’t know why that would stop just because the show is ending!!

So that’s my kinda unconventional experience?? Love yall. Open tag + more under cut, sorry if I tag you and you already did this

Thank you @thisbuildinghasfeelings for this lovely idea!

I'm someone who hates goodbyes, and this isn't one, but I have been struggling with the fact that this show is ending. However, if we're going to get sentimental today, I might as well go all in.

I've had a bit of a rocky two years with the fandom, starting off as a lurker in season 4 and then slowly coming out of my shell before abruptly leaving for several months with no plans of ever returning to social media. I also had zero plans of ever finishing the fic that I had spent months writing at that point. I'm not here to hash out all of the personal details of what was going on in my life at the time, but needless to say, I was done with fandom.

Coming back was an accident, but when I did I saw that people here in the lone star fandom were still so friendly and welcoming, and at some point I felt comfortable enough to give this thing another shot. I admit that sometimes I wish my experience had been a little different, that I found the show sooner or that it didn't get canceled right when I finally started feeling comfortable in fandom spaces again, but I am still incredibly grateful for the time I have had here, as well as the time I hope to continue to have!

So many wonderful things have happened since I returned to this place, and it's so hard to just pick a few, but here are a few of my favorite fandom memories!

1. The Elusive Push Coda

I finally finished my first Tarlos fic, which is still something I am incredibly proud of. Thank you so much to everyone who has shown me love and support for that fic. 🩵

2. Music Monday

As a music lover, I could not resist starting this tag. I love seeing everyone's tastes in music coming together in our playlists. I also have a few updates coming to that, as well as another thing I am very super secretly working on. 👀

3. Writing, Writing, Writing

I have continued to write more fic than I have in a very long time, thanks to the wip games where we share our snippets, and thanks to @literateowl and @herefortarlos for being wonderful betas! I could not have gotten back into this thing that I love so much without the support of all of you, so thank you so much!

4. Tarlos Haven

Me and @ironheartwriter started the Tarlos discord, and we've had some amazing times in there whether it be a watch party or a sprint session. I have been terrified of connecting with new people and I still am to some extent, but I really appreciate how kind everyone is to each other. It really eases so much of my anxiety.

5. Exchange Events

I loved hosting the countdown exchange over on @911lonestarevents with @ironheartwriter and I also loved participating in the @tarlos-santa secret santa event! I'm also very excited to be participating in the @tarlos-secret-cupid event as well!

Honorable Mention: Liveblogging

Experiencing episodes live, theorizing and analyzing, losing our mind over stills and writing codas and spec fics, and just having this beautiful thing to look forward to every week for months on end. There's nothing quite like it. Since I am fairly confident that this is my last fandom, I am sad to be losing this. But if I never get to do this again, I'm glad that my last time was with you guys.

Oh boy where to begin! I have so many good memories of this show! Watching it, being in the fandom, reading fics & so much more!

Thanks to @thisbuildinghasfeelings for starting this & for tagging me! ❤️💕

And thank you for also tagging me @everlastingday @welcometololaland @rmd-writes @tellmegoodbye @heartstringsduet ❤️💕

1. How Tarlos & Lone Star was the first time I think I truly started to be so involved in fandom

So there are a lot of books & TV shows/movies that I had read/watched before Lone Star. And a few months before I knew about Lone Star, I read Red, White & Royal Blue. RWRB is what brought me back to Tumblr after like 5 years & also what got me reading fics again after almost 10 years. I started engaging in fandom because of that. And it is through some of the mutuals from RWRB fandom that I got introduced to Tarlos (more on that below). Now back to my point- although I had started engaging in fandom through RWRB, it was after starting Lone Star that I truly deeply started engaging in fandom as a whole. Interacting with other fellow fans, reading & commenting on fics, being a part of post-episode analysis & discussion about what happened, encouraging (more like pestering lol 😂) my bestie (I was also the one who introduced her & some of my other friends to RWRB around the same time) to watch it is something that I hadn't done to a great extent in any of the previous fandoms.

2. TARLOS

So after Push aired, I started seeing gifs of the "breath baby breath" scene & that is how I got introduced to this fandom. I was like who are these guys? What is going on? And then I saw a few YouTube clips of that scene & I was like ok I'm watching this show. And truly the story of Tarlos is so beautiful! I love that there is no cheating/love triangle drama. Because I've seen that in some of my older fandoms & I just love how they didn't show that with these two you know?

3. The cast

The cast is so incredibly talented! I love the way they portray the characters! Prior to watching Lone Star, the only cast member I had seen in the stuff I had watched was Rob Lowe in Holiday in the Wild & in Parks & Rec. But now there's this whole group of people that I would love to watch anything else that they star in!

4. Live watching

Season 5 was the first season that I truly watched live. Before that, season 3 & 4 I would watch on Disney+ an hour after it aired as that is when the new episodes would become available on Disney+ in the country where I was at that time. So truly live watching has been so much fun! Getting to see what happens & reacting to it in real time, reading other people's reactions has been amazing! And eating Cheetos while live watching- thanks for reminding me of that @lemonlyman-dotcom & your food tag game was my favorite part of my pre-show ritual!

5. Fics

The fics! Need I say more? The fics I've read in his fandom have been so amazing, incredible & brilliant! And the number of times I've re-read some of the fics!

6. My favorite episodes & specific moments from them

Watching & rewatching some of the episodes because I just love the things that happened in them! The soulmate scene has to be one of my top favs because the way it altered my brain chemistry! The Tarlos wedding vows, the proposal, bad call, saving grace, the police station scene from 1x03, the hospital scene from 1x08, PUSH, riddle of the sphynx, Lou 1 & Lou 2, Marjan & Joe's wedding and so many more!

I absolutely loved doing this so much!

I know I'm a bit late to doing this, but OPEN TAG to anyone who wants to do this & also tagging:

@actual-sleeping-beauty @ladytessa74 @ladyknight1512 @carlos-in-glasses @carlos-tk

@ironheartwriter @annoyingcloudearthquake @henrygrass @goodways @detective-giggles

@beautifulhigh @dear-viv @sapphic--kiwi @emsprovisions @sarnagati @paperstorm

@chicgeekgirl89 @nancys-braids @herefortarlos @liminalmemories21 @meditating-honey-badger

(Posting this in case someone recognizes him. His face is covered for privacy. I’ll remove it if asked)

We met on Omegle when we were teenagers.

You were in England, maybe London. I was across the ocean.

Your name was Max. On Kik, your display name included Snowleo, maybe short for snow leopard. I think you were a furry.

We talked a lot that year. Kik, Steam, one time I think even a video call. You played bass or guitar, listened to metal and rap, and had a younger sister. You told me you once visited a friend in Australia while figuring yourself out.

You told me you had family in Boston. You struggled with depression, and self-harm. I didn’t know what to say back then, but I understood more than I let on.

I think we said we liked each other. Maybe even loved each other. I remember wanting to meet you, but we were just teenagers with no money and no idea how.

I sent you a letter once, with drawings. I remember how nervous I was, waiting for you to get it.

One of your last messages to me said:

“I know this is a bad idea, but I just wanted to say I’m sorry. I feel like I never gave you the attention you deserved. I still think of you all the time.”

I never forgot that because I still have it saved.

I don’t know where you are now. Maybe you’ve forgotten me completely. Maybe you’re married. Maybe you’re not here anymore.

But just so you know, I still remember you.

I’m not sure why I'm sharing this now. Maybe because I'm 29. Maybe because I'm going through a breakup and reminiscing about everyone I've loved.

Treat yourself or a loved one! TokyoTreat makes the perfect gift for any occasion. Use code "NOSTALGIA" for $5 off your first #TokyoTreat box through my link: https://team.tokyotreat.com/theanimenostalgia

Author Erica Victoria Espejo has not only been an anime fan since the 90s, she's been going to cons & writing about it for over 20 years! And now, she's written a book called The Fangirl Diaries: Finding Community in Anime Fandom of the 90s & 00s, chronicling early anime fandom and cosplay through her lived experience in it while growing up as a queer, femme Asian. Listen in as we discuss daring to share stories of cringey youth, the evolution of fandom, cosplay, and anime conventions, and what it was like to write a book about it all. 

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Relevant links:

Buy Erica's book using my affiliate link at Bookshop.org, Amazon, or directly from the publisher!

Check out Erica's website for over 20 years of her anime convention coverage!

Follow Eri on Twitch to watch her "Fansview Friday" streams live, or follow her Youtube account to watch the VODs

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And of course, follow her on Bluesky for updates on her writing and reports!

Bonus: Erica in her custom Baka-Con t-shirt she mentions this episode:

My theme song music was done by Kerobit! You can find more about them on their website!

As always, feel free to leave me your thoughts on this episode or ideas for future episodes here—or email me directly at [email protected].