#false memory

Mobile Control was secured and Scott on the move before Gordon finished that sentence. No doubt John had sent the same warning to all of them. Gordon clearly knew he was in a dangerous position. 

Scott switched to a private channel even as he broke into a run, heading towards Gordon’s last position. 

“Talk to me, Gords.” 

“I’m still at the caves.” 

“Civilians?” 

“Clear. Alan took them.” 

That explained why Alan was where he was. A group of people had decided taking shelter in some caves would be safer than sheltering in their homes when the earthquake hit. Virgil had used the Excavator to clear the entrance, but it had been Gordon who’d roped up and gone in after them. 

At least there wouldn’t be anyone else to worry about apart from Gordon. 

“I can’t get these ropes off. Scott, I can’t get clear!” 

“F.A.B. I’m on my way.” 

“No! Stay clear.” 

“Aftershocks hitting in less than a minute.” 

Scott almost stumbled at John’s voice. So much for a private line! 

He pulled out his laser cutter as he ran, not bothering to answer the Space Monitor. John wasn’t the only one who didn’t waste words. The rocks came into view, making him skid to a stop, looking around – there! 

A flash of blue drew his attention and Scott pelted towards Gordon. His brother had done his job well: the knots were secure and the ropes firmly anchored. He’d got half of them off but Scott saw his fingers slip on the knots in his haste. 

“Hands up,” Scott ordered. He waited until Gordon was clear before aiming the laser cutter on its lowest setting. The ropes frayed and broke apart, burning red ends smoking slightly. 

“Hitting now!” John’s words were a yell of warning. Years of listening to his instincts and just reacting meant Scott didn’t stop to think. All he knew was that Gordon was standing under a cliff that had the potential to dump who knows what on top of them. 

The first rocks were already bouncing towards them when Scott flung himself forward. He caught Gordon around the waist, sending them both hurtling into the cave even as a boulder the size of his head slammed into the ground where Gordon had been standing. 

They rolled once, twice, three times before Scott’s momentum caught up with them and they fell still. To Scott’s relief, he was cushioning his brother. He quickly snapped on his head torch. 

“Are you okay?” His hands gripped Gordon’s shoulders, holding him still as his gaze ran over his brother, trying to find any injuries. 

“I’m fine.” Gordon shoved his hands away, sat up, then stood. Just as he did so, daylight disappeared as another barrage of scree covered up the exit for the second time that day. Gordon glanced at Scott. 

“What exactly was your plan?” he asked drily. 

Scott shrugged as he sat up. “Save you?” 

Gordon snorted, then his eyes went wide in the dim light of Scott’s torch. 

“You okay, big brother?” 

“Fine.” 

Then pain lanced up his arm in a fiery burst that made Scott grit his teeth. He looked down to find his uniform torn and blood gushing from a deep laceration. 

“Oh.” 

He hadn’t even felt it happen. Fumbling with one hand, he reached to his utility belt, searching for a med-pack, but Gordon got there first. He pulled out his own and dropped back to his knees. 

Scott didn’t watch as Gordon cleaned and bandaged the cut. 

“That was foolish, Scoots,” Gordon said softly. “You could’ve got yourself killed.” 

Scott shrugged. “Would’ve been worth it if it saved you.” 

Gordon paused in his administrations long enough to punch Scott on his good shoulder. 

“Ouch,” Scott said drily. 

“I wish you wouldn’t say things like that.” 

“Ouch?” 

Gordon punched him again. “You know what I mean. You can’t just throw yourself away on the off chance that it protects one of us.” 

“Sure I can,” Scott said lightly. “I’ve been doing it forever.” 

Gordon didn’t answer, focusing on tying off the bandage. Scott let him work and lifted his other arm, grateful that his watch was on his right not his left wrist. 

“Thunderbird Two, do you copy?” 

“I’ve got you,” Virgil sounded calm but Scott could hear the underlying tension. He was certain he was the only one who would pick up on it. “I need to wait for the ground to stabilise before I can land and get the Excavator back out. You two okay?” 

Whether he’d seen what had happened or John filled him in, Scott didn’t know. But he was grateful he didn’t have to explain that he’d saved Gordon only to get them both trapped in a cave and now needed rescuing. 

“We’re fine.” 

“Scott’s hurt.” 

They both spoke at the same time and Scott glared at Gordon. 

“We’re fine,” he said again, his voice firm. “Check in with Alan, make sure no more civilians are in danger. Then come back for us.” 

There was a pause, in which Scott thought Virgil might refuse. Then a reluctant F.A.B. came over the line before Scott shut it down.  

“You didn’t need to tell him that.” 

Gordon returned his glare. “I’m not in a habit of lying to him. As for you-,” 

This time, he poked Scott in the chest. 

“Will you quit it?” Scott grumbled. He was going to have more bruises from Gordon at this rate! 

“You shouldn’t have run towards danger.” 

Scott rolled his eyes. “Like I was going to do anything else.” 

“Now you’re hurt, because of me. How am I supposed to deal with that?” 

“Never used to bother you,” Scott muttered. 

“What?” 

Damn. He hadn’t meant to say that out loud. Maybe his arm was getting to him more than he thought. 

“Nothing.” 

“Scott.” 

Gordon’s voice was serious, which was always a worrying sign. Scott checked the bandage and sat up. Gordon had done a good job, and Scott told him so. 

“Stop trying to change the subject,” Gordon grumbled. “What did you mean?” 

“Nothing. I don’t know why I said that.” 

“When did it not bother me if something hurt you?” 

“Gordon-,” 

“No. Tell me.” 

The conversation was apparently happening, whether Scott wanted it or not. He wondered if he could tell Virgil to turn around and come and get them first. 

Then he looked at Gordon. There was a hint of panic in those honey eyes, a fear that had nothing to do with being trapped in a cave. It was the worry that he’d done something to hurt his brother in the past. That he was responsible for something that had caused Scott pain. 

“I honestly didn’t mean it,” Scott said slowly. “I know you’d always worry if something hurt me. It’s just, well, you did go through years of hating me, and that hurt.” 

“What?” Gordon stared at him. 

“Hmm?” 

“I’ve never hated you!” 

“Oh come on,” Scott gave a short laugh. “What about all those years when you just screamed at me? Told me regularly that you hated me, that you wanted Dad, John, Virgil, anyone but me? Needed me to go away, leave you alone, stop ruining your life?” 

Gordon’s intake of breath was a small gasp that sounded loud in the cave. He was staring at Scott, horrified. 

“You thought I hated you?” 

“You were making it pretty clear,” Scott murmured. “I didn’t mind. Better that you were taking it out on me so that John and Virgil got the good side of you. I know you were hurting, we all were. I could handle it. But that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt.” 

“I never hated you.” 

“Not how I remember it.” 

“No, Scott, listen to me.” Gordon knelt in front of him, a pleading expression on his face that Scott didn’t think he’d ever seen before. “I never hated you. You were my safety net, my constant. You were the one person I could rely on to never go anywhere, no matter what I threw at you. I screamed at you because I knew you could take it, you let me yell, and you never went anywhere.” 

Scott frowned. He’d never thought of it like that. But Gordon wasn’t finished. 

“I was terrified that Dad was going to disappear again. That John would shut his bedroom door and not come out. Virgil’s not that much older than me, he couldn’t give me what I needed. I had all these emotions, all these thoughts and feelings, and no idea how I was supposed to express them. So I screamed them at you, because you were this unmoveable wall who just took it all and still stood there, ready for more.” 

Gordon dragged a hand through his hair in a frustrated gesture. When he looked back, there was pain in his eyes. 

“I never meant to hurt you. And I never, ever, hated you. It was the opposite. I was a brat because I could rely completely on you to hold me up.” 

Scott could only stare. He ran his good hand across his face, and it came away wet with tears he didn’t realise he’d let fall. 

“You - you never hated me?” 

He’d got over it: Gordon had been a young teen, deciding a career at a tender age while reeling from the loss of his mother and the almost-loss of their dad too as Jeff shut himself away. He’d accepted it, dealt with it, and tried to protect everyone, including Gordon, from all the big emotions a little boy was feeling. But it had still hurt. 

Now to find out he’d remembered it wrong. Gordon hadn’t ever hated him. He’d loved him, trusted him, and -, 

“Will you stop hitting me?” Scott demanded as Gordon punched him on the shoulder. 

“I can’t believe you thought for all of these years that I hated you! You’re... you.” 

“Wow. Now we know why John is the linguistic one.” 

“Shut up. You’re an idiot. You were my shield against the world, big brother. I trusted you more than anyone! Now I’m wondering why if you thought I hated you.” 

Scott didn’t have words to respond to that. He pulled Gordon into a one-armed hug. 

“Love you too, little brother.” 

Gordon returned the grip. Scott knew he would. He was just settling in to having a limpet attached to him for however long when they heard the tell-tale sound of machinery outside the cave. The aftershocks must’ve stopped and Virgil was preparing to come and get them out. 

Gordon pulled back and clumsily wiped away Scott’s tears. 

“Otherwise Virgil will think you’re crying with pain, then he’ll get really worried that his big macho hero-,” 

“Shut up.” Scott was grinning though. 

He’d never let the memory of their childhood define the relationship he had with his brothers. But it still felt like a weight, a shadow, that he hadn’t been aware of had disappeared when he looked at Gordon. 

Sensing his gaze, Gordon returned it, smiling shyly.  

His brother had never hated him. He’d trusted him. 

“This is why I do what I do,” Scott said softly. “Throw us into caves to stop a mountain collapsing on your head. I’m always going to be your shield, Gordy.”