#failwolf derek

Finstock’s FunStockyards by toilet with a view // 7.8k // T

It was supposed to be a nice day at an amusement park.

“Peter, can you come to Finstock’s? I need help with– I can’t even with this shit right now.”

“Is that screaming I hear?”

“Just,” Laura watched as Derek closed in on Fluffyballs, the Finstock’s FunStockyards’ mascot, who was screaming murder, literally, and moving surprisingly fast, now that the bottom of the suit had torn and the kid had full use of his legs, “just come. And don’t tell mom.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

---

In case you're wondering, it's Stiles in the suit.

Note: I found this fic a few years back when filling someone’s request to the blog for some crack fics. I came across it again when scrolling back through old posts and gave it another read and had a good chuckle, so here it is as a proper rec this time!

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Rating: Not Rated

Word Count: 7864

I’ve written another fic! Hurray! 

This is for @jflicker​ who answered yesterday’s desperate plea for prompts with a request for “a Sterek thing where they do an on the spot fake-relationship to ward off a stalker or persistent suitor? Except subvert the usual roles and have Stiles as the one who kicks the asshole to the curb. Even big, muscular guys need protecting.” This is the result. I hope you enjoy it!

Title: A Little Less Conversation

Pairing: Sterek

Summary: Derek has learned to be a good Alpha in most of the ways that count. The problem is, now that he's well-adjusted, safe, and happy, it's time to turn his attention to the one thing he's always sucked at: finding a nice, sweet Omega mate.Lucky for him, Erica and Stiles have ideas on how to make that as painless as possible.In which Derek Hale is a failwolf and somehow, ends up going speed dating.

Notes: Includes Alpha/Omega dynamics, Derek being a complete mess of a human being (or werewolf, whatever), and speed dating.

Word count: 5626

Okay, I love this, just, always domestic Sterek- always.

“Derek, calm down. It’s just her-”

“Why won’t she let me look? Someone has scared her, Stiles. Someone has scared her into not talking and when I find out who it is-”

“Derek-”

“- I am going to rip their throat out-”

“Derek, if you would just listen-”

“-with my teeth. If it was nothing, she would have told us. She’s never been this quiet. If she would just let me see-”

“I’M MOVING IN WITH AUNT LYDIA!!!”

Derek turns to look at his daughter, her face buried in her hands while Stiles goes over to pat her on the back.

“Here,” he says, smiling and handing her two boxes. “Pads and tampons, I didn’t know which you would prefer.”

She looks at them briefly, groaning, before smiling back.

“Thanks, Dad,” she whispers. “I- uh…”

“I already called Aunt Lydia, don’t worry,” he laughs. “I am totally prepared for this though, just so you know. I am one hundred percent prepared for every and all eventualities! TEAM DAD!” He raises his hands up for a high five, pouting until she recluctantly high fives back.

“You guys are the worst,” she mutters, running out of the house when the sound of Lydia’s car horn beeps for her outside.

“Her…period?” Derek asks, eyes wide. “Her…period?”

Stiles winks.

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mynuet says:

By The Hour by janonny (oneshot | 16,489 | NR)