Hey y’all! Do you have any recs for crack fics? Gen or any ship, anything is appreciated. 🤡
First of all, apologies for how late this is!! Both mod Bevvy and I have been suuuper busy so we haven't been checking the blog as often as we really shoud be TToTT
In apology, here are ten crack fics that I've enjoyed!
Insurance Man by avocadomoon
"Eddie," Richie says, laughing a little, "what the fuck is going on? Are you in the mob?" Eddie doesn't laugh.
My Teeth Were So Long by glorious_spoon
“Wait, so you’re saying that she kicked you out because you kept shedding on the furniture?”
Eddie pauses in his twelve-step post-airport hand-sanitizing routine to shoot Richie a truly poisonous glare from under his eyebrows. “If you laugh, I’m going to kill you.”
Well, shit. Richie’s a dead man.
“I’m not laughing!” he protests, smearing a hand over his mouth to make sure that it stays true, at least until Eddie is out of earshot. “I’m just saying. That was the final straw? Not the, you know…”
“Lycanthropy?” Eddie finishes dryly.
-
Or: instead of killing him, the clown turns Eddie into a were-Pomeranian. Richie copes, sort of.
how (not) to ring in twenty-one by anonymous
Stan's eyes are crazy wide, and maybe a little shiny. "You ruined your Reputation shirt just to save me?"
"Yeah." Bill'd probably give up listening to Taylor entirely if it meant Stan was okay, but Stan knows how much he loves her and saying something like that would be a little telling. "Uh, happy birthday?"
37 things pennywise does while waiting for richie and eddie to finish going at it by leetheshark
When Pennywise shows up at the Derry Inn to terrorize the adult Losers, Richie and Eddie are busy getting busy, so Pennywise politely waits for them to finish. These are the things he does in the meantime.
Oh, thanks! by NeutralMime
Georgie looked at the terrifying clown, "Hi Georgie. What a nice boat, want it back?"
The child blinked before beaming, "Yes please!"
He took it and then left in less than a second.
Pennywise was dumbfounded.
novelty coffee mugs (and other things your boyfriend doesn't want for christmas) by plinys
Because there in Eddie’s hands are two coffee mugs: one labeled MILF and the other, DILF.
“Okay, so you were right, not a sex toy!"
It's Nice To Have A Friend by notalone91
Eddie is finally getting to spend some quality time with his girlfriend. That is, until his roommate gets home.
take on me (take me on) by resurrectdead
Eddie might as well call 911; Richie has stolen his heart and he’s getting away with it, too.
or: in a world without a killer clown, richie invites the losers to see a movie about a killer doll. unfortunately, only eddie goes with him.
clogging the timeline by impravidus
TMZ ✔ @TMZ
Standup comedian Richie Tozier and award winning fashion designer Beverly Marsh getting very cozy at dinner.
[Image Description: A picture of Richie and Beverly in a restaurant. Beverly’s body is obscured by Richie’s, but his hands are angled suspiciously close to her breasts.]
> richie tozier ✔ @trashmouthTM
i’m pretty sure that’s when bev said she’s glad i have a shriveled up old man dick because i would only breed abominations and then i spit red wine on her designer blouse
>> Beverly Marsh ✔ @bevmarshofficial
It stained.
(OR: The Losers on Twitter)
TMZ ✔ @TMZ
Standup comedian Richie Tozier and award winning fashion designer Beverly Marsh getting very cozy at dinner.
[Image Description: A picture of Richie and Beverly in a restaurant. Beverly’s body is obscured by Richie’s, but his hands are angled suspiciously close to her breasts.]
> richie tozier ✔ @trashmouthTM
i’m pretty sure that’s when bev said she’s glad i have a shriveled up old man dick because i would only breed abominations and then i spit red wine on her designer blouse
>> Beverly Marsh ✔ @bevmarshofficial
It stained.
(OR: The Losers on Twitter)
freaking out the neighborhood by killuaology
Richie thinks that this is what being a father is like. He sure fucking feels like a father, dropping all of his plans to take care of his pet, making very specific google searches and running around his apartment like a madman, grabbing toys and a blanket and a few mice in a tupperware bowl. He knows logistically that everything he’s grabbing is useless and what he really needs is a chill pill and maybe some whiskey to soothe his shaking hands, but Richie can’t help the way his paternal side wakes up and takes control of his mind.
Instead of buckling a child into a carseat, though, Richie grabs a snake from a terrarium and transfers him into the “travel cage” that he bought when he brought his snake to see a drive-in movie. Noodle is curled into a sad ball, his tail wrapped tightly around itself. He’s asleep even as Richie picks him up, which is the first bad sign, and he doesn’t move at all when Richie plants him into his other cage, which is the second bad sign. Richie can’t run to his car fast enough.
[or: richie's pet snake is sick and he goes to see vet eddie ;) ;)]
